official music video: https://youtu.be/qkDC2JUfOWY
written, performed, mixed and mastered by bedhead
produced by benjithemachine
recorded @ goblin haven
art by Allen Rogers
lyrics:
Give me one sec I could make this right in a bit
On the flight back I decided I would’ve quit
Told her syke yeah I told her it was always a trick
I rode a bike to your house and you do me like this
And I do you like that and it doesn’t make sense
And I’m feeling so bad but I’m paying my rent
And I’m getting out of bed and I’m getting these checks
Things aren’t that bad but I’m not my best
When I’m at my worst and I’m feeling like this
I was writing down a verse and I’m looking for a hit
If they always give me lemons I’ll make something out of it
I made something out of nothing right beside you where you sit
And beside all that you said 
I still guessed the number that you’re thinking in your head
I don’t want no other sending me off in the end
I don’t wanna say goodbye to a friend

MUSIC VIDEO

not my best (+ benjithemachine) *VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION*

Lyrics_

Your voice echoes soft 
Everything comes with a cost
This life i made is tearing me apart

The years are burning away
But, i still feel the same
My bones will wither away
But my ghost will remain

I built a house of cards
Only to watch it fall
A haunting dissonance
Melodies that never resolve

The doctor gave me pills
Prescription chemicals
As i walk through the gate
I ran into a wall

Don’t go
Don’t go
I know im turning gray
But i used to be gold

Don’t go
Don’t go
Seasons change 
The cracks begin to show

Don’t go
The cracks begin to show

Don’t go
The cracks begin to show

Misery chose me
But baby you’re the only one who really knows me
I flew so high when i came down
I had a nosebleed 

I suffocate on the words
I can’t say
I’m choking
Memories corroding 

Its been so long since i felt like myself
Desperate for help
Are you there?
Can you hear me?

Im sick of saying the same shit in all of these songs
Ive been hanging by a thread for way too long

Don’t go
Don’t go
I know im turning gray
But i used to be gold

Don’t go
Don’t go
Seasons change 
The cracks begin to show

Don’t go
The cracks begin to show

Don’t go
The cracks begin to show

don’t go

ribcage

i swore on the accident
nothing even happened
you still got really mad
cause my poor judgement had lapsed

you locked yourself away
why can’t i tell you i’m sorry
i would just brush that shit off
i would tell you it’s okay
instead of taking at face
you only pushed me away
i'm sitting alone in wait
that’s how we started our day

and what goes up
must come down
and everything you say comes back around
i took a flight to see another town
i'm only praying that i make it back to solid ground
it’s so amazing how you hold me down
better than anyone i ever found
i ripped the plastic but to you i’m bound
they let me go, then they watched me drown

but i swore on the accident
nothing even happened
you still got really mad
i'm only trying my best

and now it’s getting worse
but i’m in the pocket, let’s get back to work
they’re dropping bands and they still never learn
i’m getting money while it’s hell on earth

still everyday feels like i’m fucking up
or not doing enough
but every night i still try
for you i’m changing my life
weekends i lose my grip
weekdays i fight the itch
i guess i’m back in that mode

last night i drank and felt great
today i feel broke and low
this week might leave me so angry
from another month taking blows
cause everyday i need progress
or i just go to bed sore
my brain’s been running on empty cause emotion leaves me bored

but i swore on the accident
nothing even happened
you still got really mad
cause my poor judgement had lapsed
instead of taking at face
you only pushed me away
i'm sitting alone in wait
that’s how we started our day

and what goes up
must come down
and everything you say comes back around
i took a flight to see another town
i'm only praying that i make it back to solid ground

it’s so amazing how you hold me down
better than anyone i ever found
i ripped the plastic, but to you i’m bound
they let me go, and then they watched me drown

drown

prod. by me https://soundcloud.com/luv_armor

breakin’ away from the chains that keep me in place
i’m dyin’ today, you gon’ piss on my grave
i’m leavin’ this plane, go to heaven today

well, it turns out that heaven is grey
& we’ve lost things we cannot replace
nevertheless, in the rain
i remember your beautiful face

& i thought that things would never change
maybe i’m right ‘cause the pain 
never seems to go away

it just changes it form
yeah, it changes it shape
or another pain just takes it place

i can hardly even see my reflection now
i love when you question how i love you
then hex me out

i need more alcohol 
or something to drown me now
just give me more alcohol
so i don’t feel terrible

breakin’ away from the chains that keep me in place
i’m dyin’ today, you gon’ piss on my grave
i’m leavin’ this plane, go to heaven today

well, it turns out that heaven is grey
& we’ve lost things we cannot replace
nevertheless, in the rain
i remember your beautiful face

& i thought that things would never change
maybe i’m right ‘cause the pain 
never seems to go away

it just changes it form
yeah, it changes it shape
or another pain just takes it place

never thought that i’d see heaven this way
but now my soul’s goin’ away
i’m makin’ my way, yeah i make my escape 
she told me that i’d never change

i remember, i was seven
i can feel the fuckin’ tension
i fall apart, but love my brethren
should probably see a fuckin’ medic

i remember, mom was stressin’
about this money, i had to get it
life’s a cycle, never ending
born again & now defenseless

i hope you shed a tear to this
i wanna keep you near
but this music makes me feel so distant
i know that someday i’ll regret it

breakin’ away from the chains that keep me in place
i’m dyin’ today, you gon’ piss on my grave
i’m leavin’ this plane, go to heaven today

well, it turns out that heaven is grey
& we’ve lost things we cannot replace
nevertheless, in the rain
i remember your beautiful face

heaven is grey

Featuring: @bleakboi
Produced by: DZO DIGTIAL and @nickp3tro
Art by: DZO DIGITAL
Mixed by: DZO DIGITAL
Mastered by: DZO DIGITAL 

Lyrics:
You don't have the guts to be who you want to be (I won’t go down without a fight, tried to tell them 'bout my thesis)
You need people like me so you can point you're fuckin' fingers (I cant go down without a fight, DZO)
And say "that's the bad guy" (I won’t go down without a fight)
What does that make you? Good? (I cant go down without a, Huh)

I’m trying to find out where the light is (Where's the light?)
Come to find out got the touch like Midas, ha
I got depression, that’s a minus
Up in the night I don’t want it to get silent

Up in the night can’t sleep I got tinnitus 
Don’t wanna be leaving her, I’m sick of trying 
Would this be easier if I was lying?
It always comes to light
You see another side
 
Don’t know what you see in me (Huh)
I swear I'm being me (Yeah)
So many sides to see of me so please excuse my BPD (Hahaha)
It’s just a PSA, this my thesis
Wish you could see the pain, diaphoresis

How my heart begins to pick up rate
Me and p3tro on the beat, make it syncopate
i was caught like a dear in headlights
No fear, finally made it out the red light (I miss you, I miss you so much)
What's the point in even looking for a light?
No point, I didn’t see an end in sight
Even if the things you said ‘bout me were right
You still think I'm fly
Don’t wanna see you if you’re basic
No I can’t see you, need LAS, ha (LASIK)

I’m trying to find out where the light is
Come to find out got the touch like Midas, ha
I got depression, that’s a minus
Up in the night I don’t want it to get silent

Don’t know what you see in me (I don't know)
I swear I'm being me (Yeah)
So many sides to see of me please excuse my BPD (So many sides, Ha)
It’s just a PSA, this my thesis (PSA, Thesis)
Wish you could see the pain, diaphoresis

I won’t go down without a fight (I need this)
I cant go down without a fight (Tried to tell them 'bout my thesis)
I won’t go down without a fight (Suffer from diaphoresis)
I cant go down without a, Huh (I need it)
 
I'm down an alley
fighting anxiety (Anxiety)
This shit exciting
struck by bolt lightning 
I'm never tired
Gas fills my lungs (Mh)
It's a curse its mayhem, fuck (Fuck)
DZO and me we never stop we be grinding (We be grinding)
Can't hear us, walk in silence (Shh)
Where's the light at the end of the tunnel? (Where's the light)
fuck fame, swag is eternal (Hahaha)

Looking for a light
No point, I didn’t see an end in sight
Even if the things you said ‘bout me were right
You still think I'm fly (Wait)
Don’t wanna see you if you’re basic
No I can’t see you, need LASIK (Haha)

I’m trying to find out where the light is (Where's the light?)
Touch, got the touch like Midas, ha
I got depression, that’s a minus (Well that's a minus)
Up in the night I don’t want it to get silent

Don’t know what you see in me (I don't know)
I swear I'm being me
So many sides to see of me please excuse my BPD (Ha)
It’s just a PSA, this my thesis (thesis)
Wish you could see the pain, diaphoresis 

I’m trying to find out where the light is (I need it)
Come to find out got the touch like Midas, ha (Midas)
I got depression, that’s a minus (Minus)
Up in the night I don’t want it to get silent

Touch like Midas (well that's a minus)
Can't sleep I got tinnitus (No I don't want it)
Suffer from diaphoresis, yeah
Up in the night I don't want it to get silent

Stream

Where's the Light?

prod. irby

lyrics:
whoa
watching where i land
i don't comprehend
what i do it for
it's an external force
passing by like meteors
materials to reinforce
i don't wanna be at war
blinds closed!
i can't see what's going on
aberration, am i one?
what a bore
like there's a hole in the earth
that's boutta take form
i kinda wanna restart
after this i need some rest
lay my head down, it's so heavy
another nightmare
i'm just sorting through my mind, it's so messy
i never fight fair
i could play a part if you let me
it's hard to forgive me
i'm hollow, so empty
and it's my bad
that i'm feeling like this again
i'm trying to find when
i need to go
I'm tryna walk towards
don't care if it kill me
at least it was the real me
so why do i feel so guilty?
i pledge my fealty to you
at least i know where it come from now
then it turn into a song somehow

landing (irby)

wake up, it’s back to work
controlling my fate, i cut off the weight, but why does my back still hurt?
it troubles my brain, can only complain, like why do my ankles burn?
wiping the slate my only mistake, but i do not hate to learn

but money’s my main concern
the timing felt great, but i gotta train, i gotta wait my turn 
might go ******, but never complain, i cannot chase the burns
might feel the same, but i cannot wait, i gotta make this work

another night of having trouble sleeping
annoying aches inside my hips and legs
there's only facts inside this track you're streaming
cause i can’t make up something that is fake

the bills are adding up, it’s not what you think
this ain’t just a feeling i could put inside a drink
watch my ego shrink and take a swim inside the sink
i lay in bed, inside i think, like what could all this bring?


shrink

i'm tryna go up and take it far
i gotta get clean, but damn it's hard
they lean on ***** to finish bars
just be yourself, man it's not hard

your favorite doesn't think to raise the bar
they set it lower and lower without creative art
if you're not on my timing we should remain apart
working on my hands and knees my form of prayer's hard

and i don't need to steal your swag
i don't switch up for a bag
compromising for a trend seems like a drag
it sounds like you have nothing left to say
you're not digging deep enough to find your way

these days i'm paranoid of what will kill me
is it processed food or the cigs when i was 22?
whatever happens i'll just leave it all to you and my family too
i can't seem to beat it no matter what i do

but i'm tryna go up and take it far
i gotta get clean, but damn it's hard
they lean on ***** just to finish bars
just be yourself, man it's not hard

the irony,
i started
tweaking
when i tried to get sober
that part of me had started leaving by the time it's over
stop buying designer it could go away, just save
personal experience man, i take that shit to the grave

i'll take it far
i gotta get clean, but damn it's hard
they lean on ***** to finish bars
just be yourself, man it's not hard

be yourself

i gotta go hard every day 
cause i won’t go back to that job
some days the heat in the truck wasn’t working, desperately turning the knob
i gotta keep making my way
i don’t ever think i should stop
i keep my emotions at bay
i don’t plan on losing the plot

i write all my progress instead
i put it together and drop
it’s only inside of your head if you decide it’s a flop
i pray i’ll be getting this bread
if things never change, i’ll rot
i look at my bank with dread
put everything back in the shop

somedays i'm thinking it’s fun 
some days i’m thinking it’s not
some days i’m lacking confidence
some days i know that i’ll pop
some days i think it’s common sense
some days i'm thinking it’s chopped 
some days i’m missing my ex friends, they’re out of my life, they’re cropped

so i gotta go hard every day 
cause i won’t go back to that job
some days the heat in the truck wasn’t working, desperately turning the knob
i gotta keep making my way
i don’t ever think i should stop
i’m keeping emotions at bay
i don’t plan on losing the plot

i don’t need skinny white girls in my footage for views
i'm not pretending i got a glock when i got you
i just care about my fans i gotta uphold my views
if that gets you feeling offended, just know i’m not better than you
who am i to think i’m special, that’s not remotely true
cause when i look inside the mirror i do not think that i’m cute
if you don’t like my voice, that’s fine, just put this song on mute
if you feel some type of way, just show a friend or two

whatever happens into the near future, know that i’m just like you
i know someday that might sound crazy that’s really true
when i was a kid i was feeling so different back then i still knew
i knew i’d face a challenge, but i knew i’d make it through
some days i'm thinking i’m caring too much, but that isn’t true
it’s gotta do with how i’m raised
i thank my parents too
cause every day i see some shit that makes the world feel cruel
i still keep it positive
i do not try to be cool

you don’t have to be somebody, always be yourself
you don’t have to fake an image to obtain some wealth
if you think you don’t have options, you should get some help
it’s ok to be self conscious, sometimes overwhelmed 

vent

Chances (Remastered).mp3

http://therapy.rip

mgmt.polearm@gmail.com

shrink

polearm

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Darekkaa

TOKE.

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