just messin with stuff, feeling glad that i gotta lil $hhmoneyyyy

$hmoney.mp3

a song i wrote a few days ago

Lyrics:
i hope that you had a better day than i did
i hope that you feel glad, feel inspired, 
cos i'm just tired today

Rayanne, don't feel too bad
hearts will break sometimes
to be awake sometimes is hard
troubles come, and then they--
troubles go, so please
take it easy, my friend 
take it slow. mmmhhhmm

i hope that you get through this empty life
so full of strife and pain
i hope that one day we can go have tea again
and we'll be free again in time

did you start smoking again

Bedroom Hymn - For Chole

a song i wrote when my dad came to cure me of all my demons. it's about religion and truth and hell and stuff

i have sacrificed my soul
and focused on the goal
and, to that end, been blinded
i have given up my sin
and let the spirit in
he told me that i couldn't fight this
you promised me a life
if i would be your wife
in happiness and difficulty
i, surely all in vain,
drove myself insane
with kindness and in purity

would you be mad with me
for all eternity
if i should fail you now
would you be mad?

i wanted to be good
wanted to be good
or better than i used to be
you, you said you'd help me grow
teach all i had to know
but i'm descending into madness

would you be mad with me
for all eternity?
if i should fail you now,
would you be mad?

When Dad Came To Visit

a song about unexpectedly waking up in surrey one morning 

waking up in a hazy dream
your skin warm against mine
lazily our eyelids sink
as rain falls outside

the day can wait, it's not started yet
just come here closer to me
the sun won't rise for it's winter now
so why should we

DreamSeason

“state good intentions”

give me time to refresh my mind
alone i have found that i’m not hard to find
conditioned to believe my thoughts are unsafe
and should safely securely be all locked away
soon i’ll discover i’ve got so much to give
but it all disappeared with my fear to live
am i crazy for letting this fuck up my brain?
i would say that my father was just as insane
and he raised me to become the wreck i am now and he
set up the stage for me and i took the bow
and they laughed and they laughed at me, i was the joke
then we all became roses
and vanished with smoke

is it all a dream?

make it clear to me
state your intention
is this only chemical or
divine intervention?
whatever you call it i’m
breathless and weak, give me
all your attention
and don’t let me speak
for our looks are a language
all on their own
and our love isn’t silent, even
when i’m alone
i can feel you, your presence is
under my skin and it
warms me, i’m shivering, burnt from within
if this life has no meaning then why do you try
always to please me? someone tell me why
a lover like Bel could love someone like me
if the universe didn’t know good energy?

Is it all a dream?

STATE GOOD INTENTIONS

Spaced Out (but very spaced out)

song I wrote a couple nights ago about a girl I used to pine after when I was young and gay and religious and suppressed

lyrics:
don't you remember how we were each other's weakness?
the sky was scary then, the earth was ruled by meekness
i cant imagine how i could have been so blinded
looking for love everywhere but the place that i would find it
and then i met you
and the obvious struck me
that i would love you
n that love would fuck me
hard
Don't you remember when i went to yours for dinner?
with every touch you made me more into a sinner
listened to motown and i've no doubt it was showing
you drove me home, pulled over and told me i was glowing
and then i met you 
and the obvious struck me
that i would love you
and that love would fuck me 
hard
I couldnt help but think the world was out to get us
we coulda fucked it all, but my conscience wouldnt let us
i pulled you closer then i got to disappearing
i couldnt handle love cuz love's what i was fearing
and then i met you 
and the obvious struck me
that i would love you
and that love would fuck me 
hard

weakness (acoustic demo)

Another song I wrote about being far from my girlfriend who is quarantined in Bulgaria while I am stuck in D.C. and day drinking sake because I just had my 21st birthday and can finally drink legally in my home country
LYRICS:
Why sleep when i am dreaming with my eyes wide open
why drink when i am hazy sunrise to the sunset
why feel when i can't feel her in my arms each morning
ah, tristeza, nothing else can help me if my love is gone

can anybody hear me or 
am i screaming out into the dark?
i searched for truth and meaning
sitting there in silence in the park
i lost her to the evening
and every night i lose her all over again
left all alone and sighing, "will i ever get to see a friend?"

stay warm and keep them eyes upon that silver lining
yeah, distance is a bitch, but there's no use in crying
every day i think about the reasons that we had to part
and every day i'm thinkin the universe just wants to break my heart

can anybody hear me or 
am i screaming out into the dark?
i searched for truth and meaning
sitting there in silence in the park
i lost her to the evening
and every night i lose her all over again
left all alone and sighing, "will i ever get to see my friend?"

Warm Sake ( demo - take 1 )

Madison (Scooby feat Yo)

Lyrics:
not yet... 
good-night, now, 
rock-a-bye, now, sleep tight now... 

it's time to 
close your eyes now 
take a deep breath 
you'll feel better 
in the morning 
when the sun, it 
starts to rise. 
Feel the Earth turn, 
rhythmic oceans, 
silent (longings, places, etc) 
left unsaid 
breathe in deeper 
leave the evils 
find the mantra 
speak with freedom 
don't let no one 
take your peace. 
Love the Earth, 
meet her needs. 
See him there, 
let them love you, 
no one wants to 
see you fail. 
the universe is 
rooting for you, 
we all want to 
come out grinning 
when it's time to 
return to the 
very dirt from 
which we've come. 

I want to see yo there, smiling at me, glad to be free. 
"Immortality's so 
overrated." 
You laugh at me 
laugh at us 
at our lives, the absurdity! 
"How you feel is irrelevant, 
how I feel is irrelevant!" 
Oh, but 
What you are 
and what you're not 
on this Earth is 
all we've got

birds that fly

when you wake up alone today

sweetwater

from an acoustic live show put on for the ants, you can hear the rest on the ol bandcamp

spaced out (Live for the Ants at Forest Hills)

downloaded garageband because my software wasnt working, this is what happened. new edit coming from ol Tom

my hands are getting cold
this autumn sunrise reminds me of
the paths i used to take, love i used to make, heart's i'd break, laughs i'd fake, what was it all for?
i dreamed about you last night
the memory drenched in moonlight, how we'd fight and fight
you didn't love me anymore
don't think me unwise
my mind is filling up with all the thoughts i've ever had and can't forget. i wish i could start over and enjoy another life.

just say it.

i don't wanna tell you
anything to make you feel unhappy, 
i can wait
i can believe in fate if i try.
the train is coming
you'll make it if you're running
don't be late
it's the last tonight. i wonder if i might've.
Summon all your courage
you can say the word, it's
not so hard, so say it fast
while the moonlight lasts.

just say it.

demo: mustard greens

Pseudo-psychedelic folk-funk DIY dreamer currently mowing your lawn

Polimana

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