i had to shear my scalp of all my shame and fear, and sweep it up into the trash
left by my bed is stress i pulled out from my head, i should sweep it up into the trash

three eighths of an inch gets me out when i'm in a pinch, a buzz cut means my shame goes into the trash
can someone tell me how long will this keep happening? or should i just put myself into the trash?

guard number 3 is sized quite appropriately, any larger would just be rash
no pity please, i just want a cure to my disease, is there one or am i being rash?

three eighths of an inch gets me out when im in a pinch, if i shave down to the skin i might get a rash
can someone tell me how long will this keep happening? or is hoping this will end incredibly rash?

three eighths of an inch gets me out when i'm in a pinch, a buzz cut means my shame goes into the trash
can someone tell me how long will this keep happening? or should i just put myself into the trash?
should i just put myself into the trash?
am i better off being in the trash?

june - guard number 3 (demo)

i'm tired of feeling this way
i'm running out of words to say
i'm slowly drifting away
i'm waiting for my final day

i'll set a fire in this place
i'll disappear without a trace
i'll tear my eyes out from my face
i'll find my home in outer space

if i can't see the things that scare me
are they even really there?
if i'm told that i'm worth saving
how come god won't hear my prayer?

can i just decompose?
suffering that i chose
feel as the rot grows
underneath my clothes

nobody needs to know
why i feel such woe
how i got so low
leave me here and go

june - rot

i thought i was gonna make changes to this but actually i don't think i am.

how would you feel if we went to decompose?
laid on the ground with intent for repose
deep in the forest, where wildlife abounds
holding each other, not making a sound

watching the sky as we lay in the grass
watching as birds, bugs, and clouds all do pass
i love the dirt and i love the trees
i look at you and i love what i see

we are one with the earth
as we turn into the soil
far away from any town
hidden from humanity's turmoil

when something does stumble upon us one day
we will not care as they pick flesh away
insects will feast on us til we're both bones
hidden in grass that's become overgrown

we are one with the earth
as we turn into the soil
far away from any town
hidden from humanity's turmoil

my love and i found our repose
in the forest where we decompose

june - decompose

on october 6th, 2023, 5pm EST, twitch dot tv streamer DeadBlossomJesse began a three day long subathon next to a corn field by their family home. this is their story.

---

jesse's stuck out in a corn field that they really wanna leave
but their viewers paid good money to chain them to that tree
so now they're in the mud while watching videos on stream
fighting off the headache they got staring at their screen

hours of content on hardly any sleep
visits from friends that only make them weep
i'll give you a hundo if you grab a corn for me
a really fucked up cob that the fans want you to eat!

do not eat the corn, at least not before
you take a trip to walmar and buy medicines at the store
wow wow wubzy wubzy wubzy wow wow
wow wow wubzy wubzy wubzy wow wow x5 (?)
[background adlib: yommee! yommee. yoommee. yoOmmee! YOMMEE! ooough my stubboch. oouuughh. my stubboch. im gonna frow up :((]
(jesse's in the corn. jesse's in the corn. x2
jesse's in the corn. somebody free them from the corn.)
[i love walmar :) it's a good store :)]

polycube - jesse in the corn

chapstick and cigarettes
i'm gonna have real weird breathe
strawberries and menthol
not a combo i like at all
chaptstick and cigarettes
my mouth tastes like regret
peppermint and nicotine
don't stand so close to me

cause i smell bad
and i'm sad
this is a habit i started
cause you lost her
to cancer
and you're now broken hearted
cause i smell like

chapstick and cigarettes
i'm gonna have real weird breathe
strawberries and menthol
not a combo i like at all
chaptstick and cigarettes
my mouth tastes like regret
peppermint and nicotine
you're disappointed in me

cause this ain't good
and i should
stop before i'm in too deep
cause i could die
and you'll cry
and you won't eat or sleep

and i know it's disappointing
but please no finger pointing
cause i did this to myself
you can't blame anyone else
for my love of

chapstick and cigarettes
my go-to's after sex
blistex and a big cigar
i doubt i'd go that far
chapstick and cigarettes
i deserve whatever i get
carmex and a camel crush
i crave that nicotine rush

chapstick and cigarettes
i'm gonna have real weird breathe
strawberries and menthol
not a combo i like at all
chaptstick and cigarettes
my mouth tastes like regret
peppermint and nicotine
i'll quit eventually

june - chapstick and cigarettes

you had months to figure out what to say
and you gave me just a single day
yeah i know that we were drifting apart
i never told you it was breaking my heart
i didn't know what was coming next
but all of a sudden you turned into my ex
the only people who were there for me
left me alone during quarantine

every important thing that was said
i guess it all just went over my head
i never thought this was how it would end
turns out i'm a really shitty friend

even after everything
now it all means nothing
years and years of memories
now it all feels like a dream
i thought we would make it through
now i cry at the thought of you
can i pretend we never were?
that my past is just a blur

every important thing that was said
i guess it all just went over my head
i never thought this was how it would end
turns out i'm a really shitty friend

do you remember the night of senior prom?
when i was sick and didn't want to call my mom?
you both looked after me to make sure i was fine
i think that should have been my sign

i should have cherished you more
should have stopped you as you closed the car door
to tell you i'm sorry for stupid thing i'd done
that wasn't even worth it, not even for the fun

if i was sober then i would've tried to stop you
but now that i am there's nothing i can do
i was high that day you came to say goodbye
there's nothing i can do now except cry

every important thing that was said
i guess it all just went over my head
i never thought this was how it would end
turns out i'm a really shitty friend

every important thing that was ever said
i guess it all just went over my head
i never thought this was how it would end
turns out i'm a really shitty friend

june - may of 2020

yes the intro is off, no i don't care.

he wants to keep things platonic
but i think that's kind of ironic
because the sex was iconic
i think it's kind of moronic
he said it'd be irresponsible
i guess his reason was logical
i just wish it was possible
for us to get past the obstacles   

it's unlikely i will date her again
at least that's what she told me when
i made a joke about her being my girlfriend
and what she said got right under my skin
she said it'd be irresponsible
is my frustration yet audible?
please don't let "no" be canonical
or i'll go back to the hospital

a lonely bisexual's song of despair
wishing they had somebody that cared
the pain is more than they can bare
wishing that life could just play fair

i've written songs about him and her
if you made me pick i know who i'd prefer
tears in my eyes make my vision start to blur
how i'd love to drown in some pungent liqueur
pack up a bowl and pass me a light
how i wish i could relapse tonight
but i don't have any weed in sight
so i'll just cry until i feel alright

a lonely bisexual's song of despair
wishing they had somebody that cared
the pain is more than they can bare
wishing that either of them could be theirs

june - a lonely bisexual's song of despair (live demo)

if i were your girlfriend
i'd bring you little flowers
i found while walking
in the woods
if you were my girlfriend
you'd press all of the flowers
and keep them in your journal
full of dried up colourful leaves

if i were your girlfriend
i'd buy you potted flowers
i found while walking
at the market
if you were my girlfriend
you'd take care of the flowers
and keep them in the window box
where the rays of the sun can reach

when i'm your fiance
i'd by bouquets of flowers
to decorate with
at our wedding
when you are my wifey
you'd smell all of the flowers
and take them with us when we leave
on our weekend getaway


june - sapphic love song

i stick my head in the sink and let the water run hot
sick of doing this thing that i wish i could stop
disgusted by what i see
whenever i look at me

i avert my eyes going in the bathroom
afraid the mirror's image will show me my doom
reminds me what i am
something unhuman

i have hands that don't like to behave
and i give into the urges that they crave
it's almost like i'm stuck
as they start to run amuck
i am anxious, i am scared
i keep pulling out my hair
people tell me that they care
but they can't understand the fear

if i anoint my head with the oil of trees
do you think that could serve as an apology?
to all the hair i've lost
all the money it's cost
years of therapy
that didnt help me

i have hands that don't like to behave
and i give into the urges that they crave
do you know what it's like to be bald?
and to know that it's your own damn fault?
i am anxious, i am scared
i keep pulling out my hair
people tell me that they care
but they can't ever understand the fear

i am anxious, i am scared
i keep pulling out my hair
people tell me that they care
but they can't ever understand the fear

june - something unhuman (demo)

june | 24 | they/thon/he
sometimes i finish the music i make and post it here.

polycube

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