this was very much inspired by heartstopper

// LYRICS //

crave something i’ve never tasted
miss something i never had
i don’t need a diagnosis
to know i’m heartsick

but any god be my witness
i think i’m ready for love
though i may not recognise the signs
i like to think that i would

[CHORUS]
love is a many-splendored thing,
so why do i
feel like it passes me by like a season
winter, summer, autumn, spring
while i live on the equator

i try my best to be honest
but it’s hard to confess
that i’m jealous of others and
the butterflies that they get to have

and i don’t ask for much
just someone to fill the space (just someone to feel me)
fill the gaps between my fingers and palms
and inside my brain

[CHORUS]
love is a many-splendored thing,
so why do i
feel like it passes me by like a season
winter, summer, autumn, spring
while i live on the equator

[BRIDGE]
longing and bitter
i work up a sweat
ask, “when is it my turn?”
only to be told, “not yet”

so i’ll be patient
i’ll follow the time
if time will allow
for my hopeless waiting
maybe this time it’d be different somehow

have heart

a religious pursuit to questions unanswered

i think i’ve found myself
rooted to the solid ground
are you the weed that pushes through
the concrete tile, i look at you

but do you even look in my 
direction when it’s not
necessitated, taste the bitter
flavour of your kind disinterest

[BRIDGE]
you’re a tree across the river 
i’m a cupid’s shaving brush
you have permanent existence
i have nothing but a pair of lungs
intestines that entwine the way 
i’d like our hands to be 
i’ve got a stomach full of acid
and the secrets that i’d like to keep

[CHORUS]
it’s hard to look your way
so i’ll live with your reflection in the glass
and every moment that you’re in the corner of my eye
i think but don’t express
i digress
we barely cross paths
anyway

everybody’s going somewhere good
is it too much to want that too
to want the way an ivy climbs
a wall to reach the sky

flowering plants and their familiar doom
it happens every season
i’ll die as i am destined to
so can i at least die by you

[BRIDGE]
you’re a tree across the river 
i’m a cupid’s shaving brush
you will grow in spite of everything
while i’ll be gone in just one touch
don’t touch me i think i would die
so let me fantasise that
my insides are orderly
and capable of handling that

[CHORUS]
it’s hard to look your way (you’re a tree across the river)
so i’ll live with your reflection in the glass (i’m a cupid’s shaving brush)
and every moment that you’re in the corner of my eye (you have permanent existence, i have nothing, nothing at all / necessitated, taste the bitter flavour of your kind disinterest / can i at least die by you?)
i think but don’t express
we barely cross paths
so why do you matter so much

and why do i want like 
a root begs for water
i sit by your side but
i need something stronger
i don’t want to say something
i cannot alter
so i’ll keep it to myself

flowering plants

yes i reuploaded this

// LYRICS //
what kind of person must i be
to think that anyone could love me
who am i to deserve your patience
nerve sensations kicking in

i’ve got the habit to decay
fantasise about being sucked
into a black hole
far off into space

don’t tell me time will heal
i’m tired of hearing words
your comfort is my achilles’ heel
i falter and get nervous all the time

last night i think i dreamed of you
and you were holding me softly as you do
the way a wolf would hold
his prey within his mouth

don’t tell me time will heal
i’m tired of hearing words
your comfort is my achilles’ heel
i falter and get nervous all the time

don’t say
that everything will sort itself out
how can you be so sure now
what if things never change
what if things never change

how long
are we supposed to wait
by the second, or the hour or the day
what if things never change
what if things never change

change is coming

// LYRICS //

hail, Mary, full of grace
but i can’t help but wonder
why you didn’t stand with me
as i was talking to the police
did you know that i was scared
when i didn’t feel you there?

blessed is the fruit of your womb
can i be cocooned within you
can i be protected by you
can i be connected to you
could i be
as precious as He?

ave, ave, ave, ave
maria
who could have foreseen this
happening to us?

pray for us sinners
but are you blessing him as well?
well, i hope that you aren’t,
but you must know forgiveness can’t
come easy to me now
have you forgiven him somehow?

now and at the hour of
will you be with me when i die
will you be right there by my side
do you count the number of times
that i fall apart
oh, do you have the heart?

ave, ave, ave, ave
maria
who could have foreseen this
happening to us?

ave, ave, ave, ave
maria
could time begin to heal
what’s happened

hail mary

somehow think i never uploaded this one ? unless i did and forgot.

// LYRICS //
you turned my house into your home
and now home is where the heart hurts the most
in a year i’ve harboured every bitter flavour on my tongue 
in a year no one will know what you have done

[CHORUS]
raising my voice to no one
sounds that die as they appear
holding on to hope
that time will heal, no matter how severe

you’ve carved a hole inside my chest
you’ve pushed the birds out of a now abandoned nest
all i asked was to be loved
did i get what i deserve

[CHORUS]
raising my voice to no one
sounds that die as they appear
holding on to hope 
that time will heal, no matter how severe
but even now, i can’t help but

[bridge]
revolve around you just like planets
circle round the sun
like stars aligning out of habit
barely even knowing where they are

and skies will never cease to darken after day
and clouds will cry if they so please to, and nobody has a say
in every hurricane and monsoon, every mercury retrograde
we point our fingers at the universe
and give them all the blame

so i’ll be quiet again
these noises dead as they’ve appeared
and maybe time can heal
but i’ve never been known to persevere
i’ll be quiet
if it means i’ll move again
i’ll be quiet

raising my voice

about russian space dog laika

// LYRICS //
send me out somewhere
i’ll be back soon
if you picked me up from the streets
then i must mean something to you

i will listen
and i will behave
the stars in the sky
are all mine to attain

laika, laika, laika
like a shooting star
anywhere you want me
i will go that far

and when i get back to you
and your children
i will be sitting at your knee

by the fire
and you’ll hold me
the hands that don’t seek to
conquer but to love

(i don’t think i’m coming home) 

it’s getting warm
like (in) your embrace

laika

mikayla geier cover !! it's been so long since i posted hehe

i don't feel safe in my body

i think i have a cold
i think it’s cause of you
the doctor gave me a diagnosis
gave me medication

but it was not enough
you had to see it through
and even after that
you made my body your primary

residence
left traces of your presence
was it pleasant for you
is that why you

keep coming back
at my door

[bridge]
and what gave you the right to think you could occupy
space inside my life
i didn’t set aside

who gave you the bright idea that i
should even give you time
let alone forgiveness
i am kind but not to sickness

[chorus]
sickness, sickness
coming through my airway, filling up my lungs
sickness, sickness
i think i forgot to brush you off my tongue

sickness, sickness
sometimes i still feel you in my gut
sickness, sickness
another me would have forgiven you but

i am no longer the type to cave to pressure
and i refuse to let someone like you fester
leave a scar or leave a bruise
as long as you leave it’s up to you

[chorus]
sickness, sickness
coming through my airway, filling up my lungs
sickness, sickness
i think i forgot to brush you off my tongue

sickness, sickness
sometimes i still feel you in my gut
sickness, sickness
but it will heal like any other cut

have heart

pumpkinsoup 2.0

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