JOHN CLUTCHED UP LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

god that choking sound is realistically gross. 

hello! this has been in production for weeks now and an idea for longer, as they're two of my favorite Pokémon and I liked the idea of these possessed badasses going head to head. 
Thumbnail by Commander Jacob
All other things done by me

Lyrics: 

Trevenant
Spittin’ cold, Matt Daemon, sheer Revenant
Telling this Kanto Annabelle, fear Trevenant
Walk through my moss or appear hesitant
‘Cause that grin? You’re looking near-desperate
Pass me with those stats so trashy, ‘less this Mon’ll be gone
If it tries to meddle with the devil who controls the ground it walks upon
I’m a towering guardian; strike fear with just my caved-in face
You’re Mr. Widemouth going through his My Chem phase
Should remain Phantump, this monolith cannot be traded
Duel with this dual-type, and I shall be the Bane of Banette

Banette:
(agh) I’ve witnessed you in the anime, I have...
A “spooky” mammoth Sudowoodo who yoinked Torterra’s grass
But this is my Trick Room, you look like a tiny stump I’ve sat on
Small as your plushy in person! Oh...hehehh, I forgot, you don’t HAVE ONE
Got me asking Y you think you’re dire?
I’ll line five of your kind up, start a wildfire
Keep up your guard
It’s hardly a secret your ability’s hidden, your ass can’t harvest a good bar!
And won’t go far ‘gainst pure insanity outer and inner
Waltzing into your sacred forests and yelling TIMBER (HAHAHAHA)

Trevenant:
I would’ve thought you’d ride like a Harley, hardly, where’s the carnage?
What did I expect from one who lives amongst the garbage? It’s not a shocker
that this primadonna “devilish” talker’s
Trying to haul useless trash at my face
Bitch you’re a glorified stalker!
Respect your elder, check your movements
Or prove there’s something “Mega” ‘bout your evolution
That clown look? I can’t help but LAUGH at you.
Drop a mic? Getting it confused with your owner trashing you?
Poor little plushy coping with madness
Treating you like a baby puts your stuffing back in
Sad, your grudges weigh so heavy
But with those spikes? Makes sense you’re so PETTY!
Whipping you into frenzies, this is darkness incarnate
Should’ve stayed silent, kept that Energy locked in
Tides have shifted since I met Ash, I don’t need another savior
For a self-inflicted voodoo doll who can’t stand against mother nature

Banette:
You’re of a different Ghost Breed, but not quite Gastly
Be weary, Great Deku, no dweeb Shadow Sneaks past me
Forging friendships? What a bother for such a high potential Pokémon 
With a “wise tree” gimmick and a played out shtick with a base case of pink eye going on!
You’re unimpressive with the grass whips you’ve tried to land on me
Falling prey, I’m used to ripping through sanity
Malicious? Has it never dawned upon you
you couldn’t hurt the birds that build nests on you?
A wicked witches’ brew made with my spells to
Drop bars like my curses have befell you!
Stay away from my alleyways, or you’ll see crimson
Take a hint from me
Zip it.


Thanks for listening! I sincerely hope you enjoyed!

Trevenant vs. Banette // Alex's Rap Battles #11

VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqhS4X0ddOM

TicciSparks como Scott Pilgrim
GASU como Ramona Flowers

lightsøut como Boyfriend
Pandah como Girlfriend

Escrito por CyanCoat, TheBauestPerson, Cloud17 y TheSoul

Instrumental por CyanCoat

Lyrics (translated, not adapted) to English:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fyT1elZ536HsSyKYehtAM970e_yMIWygrV_B1vL6ZWA/edit?usp=sharing

Kim Pine:
(Uno, Dos, Tres, Cuatro!)

Anunciador:
GUERRAS DE RAP

Scott Pilgrim contra Boyfriend!

Girlfriend:
(Tres, Dos, Uno, Va!)

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Juegos de ritmo? los gano, amigo mío!
(Si no, ve lo que hicimos contra el idiota de Gideon!)
Venceré en un Flash al pastiche de NewGrounds
Esta vez sin ayuda de Knives! (Parappa dirá Chau!)

Boyfriend:
Oh dios, qué haces aquí Scott? No salgas con más niños!
Tú y tu basura hipster vuélvanse para el 2005!
Tan blando como un Muffin, hoy soy tu nega-ninja!
Vas a ser el Ex Ocho, después de esta paliza!

Scott Pilgrim:
No lo creo, en este duelo voy a ser como tu suegro!
Tu deseo es tener Sexo y mis Bob-Ombas lo han des-hecho!

Boyfriend:
No hables de mi relación, tu novia es peor que Taylor Swift! (Ooh!)
Fuckboys pixelados no acaban bien contra mi! (Yeah!)

Scott Pilgrim:
¿Soy un Fuck Boy porque me dan lo que a ti no?
Mejor dime "Puck-Man", todas quieren darme el "Fuck"!

Boyfriend:
Mejor dicho "Cuck-Man", cuando llega el G-Man
Suelta el bajo que con Neil ya te van a reemplazar!

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Derroté a ambos capitanes, América y Marvel!
(Mientras tú estás rapeando contra dos niños en disfraces!)
Pero enano vocaloid, sólo regurgitas flows...
YA BASTA! Pagarás tu crimen contra el hip hop!

Boyfriend:
Tus bandas son un crímen contra lo Sónico (& Knuckles)
Ellas se desmoronan cuando yo rockeo el Mic-hael
Cera debes tener, si crees que suenan bien
Como tu película, un fracaso van a ser!

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Te supero en cualquier medio, hasta en los videojuegos!
Es normal cuando recaes en mods para hacerlo bueno...
(El subespacio en tu cabeza de seguro está vaciado...)
Si pensabas que tu moda vencería a mi legado!

Boyfriend:
¿Te refieres al legado de haber arruinado,,,
...A toda una generación, pedófilo fracasado?
Encima tardas seis tomos en tratar de ser mejor
Porque no quiere afrontar que es sólo un puto perdedor!

Scott Pilgrim y Ramona Flowers:
Luché por la chica en mis sueños! Poder de Entendimiento!
(Con cualquier nota en falso tu novia abandona el juego...)
Viví con Wallace, oye, no discrimino!
Así que al menos te queda ir a darte picos con Pico...

Boyfriend y Girlfriend:
¿Quieres hablar de homosexuales?... tienes tres ex-novias:
Volviste a dos de ellas lesbianas, y la otra te odia!
Ya no te escondas tras Ramona, maldito cobarde!
Te vencí por mi cuenta (Así es cómo se hace!) Ja!

Scott Pilgrim vs Boyfriend

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure VS Homestuck

john gaming

Jade as Jonathan Joestar
The Whiz as John Egbert
Mancha as DIO
Dee as Bec Noir

Jonathan Joestar:
I was having a nice honeymoon, but then you came to ruin it
Rina, hon, I’ll be right back. It’s fair to say I’ll do this quick
As you’re a geeky teen manipulated by troll girls
While you were chatting with lizards I was saving the whole world!
I may be a gentleman but here I’ve taken the offense
Those films you’ve watched rotted your mind, you’re brainless as Dio’s men!
With just ripples I’m a legend! You could hardly make a splash
As you’re a vanilla brat who couldn’t even leave me Scratched

John Egbert:
You’re almost like my planet, but you fail in certain ways
‘Cause you may blow like the Wind, but you suck at throwing Shade!
I spit sicker than your father. Testing me? Why even bother
Like the imps I’ve met, you’re fodder to my hammer-slamming slaughter!
So I hope you were expecting to be destroyed by my mallets
I’m gonna switch it up more than your whole show does with color palettes!
I’ll soar above your greatest feats with just a single Pchoo!
There’ll be no Phantom Blood to bust when you’re Wrinklefucked, dude!

Jonathan Joestar:
This daft airhead couldn’t scare anyone, not even Speedwagon
Your god tier’s more suited to me, as I’m a master of Hamon!
With my strength I bested Dio! So your defeat’s inevitable
You’ll find that JoJo’s nearly impenetra- (Jonathan gets impaled through the neck, chokes on his blood for the entirety of John’s verse)

John Egbert:
Geez, it didn’t take long for you to choke on your words
There’s no Zeppeli to save you here, best go prepare a hearse
Welp, I’ve reached my quest bed. Gotta go find my dad
Sayonara JoJo! Oh shit, I’ve been stabbed

Bec Noir:
Another dumb kid falls to my vicious attack
Now who’s the next weakling that’ll have their life Jacked?
Hey you! Yellow dude! Step out of the dark and face me
It seems you’d give The World for me to put you in your place, see

Dio Brando:
*sigh* Yet another bitch stands in my path?
You’re no Kujo to me! I’ll kick this canine’s ass!
I’ve rejected my humanity and swiftly slain JoJo
You thought you had found weak prey, but it was me! Dio!
 
Bec Noir:
Agh! I can’t stand more of this Insufferable Prick
You’ll be seeing Red for Miles once I’m done with you, dick!
While I’m mowing down hundreds, piling up mountains of bodies
You’re alone in Egypt, being chased by Joseph’s paparazzi!
You’re a tacky bloodsucker who I easily spit iller than
I’ve seen bigger threats in your world from squirrels controlled by Pillarmen
Try to best me all you like, the victor will stay me, though
So watch as Jack Black plays out Tenacious DIO!

Dio Brando:
Can you hurry it up? I’m getting bored of your raps
I’m not Maid of Time here, though I could freeze you in your tracks
You think bragging’s gonna threaten me? That’s quite the failed plan
I’m not scared of a chess piece who got beat by a mailman! 
You’re nothing but a whiny cur. Your whimpering just goes on!
Oh, boo hoo Jack! You had to put some fucking clothes on!
All your efforts were useless! I’m through with this clown!
I didn’t need Stand my ground to put a puppy dog down!

Written by Vivian
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Produced by Dansonn

Jonathan Joestar VS John Egbert | RAP BATTLE!

Lyrics/Karaoke/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19q8owAtPSf-cUfzuQXFx2SGeSTgUZbTGqS1lri6emBU/edit
MetaMachine as Banjo
Freshy Kanal as Kazooie
Elijah as Popo
Azia as Nana
Written by MetaMachine, Dani Frias, B O R K, Rabi, Jade and Gengo the Cannoli King.
Mixed by Dustin
Thumbnail by AaronGPeters
Beat by Kustom
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Nintendo's Alternate All-Stars"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Bare Your Fangs"

Banjo and Kazooie vs. Ice Climbers

Plankton's Experiment : The Monarchy
Squidward's Suicide : Jose

Written by Kamren
Beat : https://drive.google.com/file/d/144fEa5wotGUJpfbpX_hUv3gQJ09Bg1jJ/view?usp=drivesdk
Beat Prod. : Hollywood Legend
Mixed by : Jordan
Cover art by AaronGPeters
Special Thanks to Dustin and Jade!

[0:25]
Squidward's Suicide :
So they revived me just to be put against an episode so shallow?
Since you're just another crappy-pasta that I'll crush beneath my shadow
The voices tell me to do many things, but read your story? Not one of them!
I mean, just look at the Wattpad page! You're just One Course Meal, chum
Musical notes are my formula! The one you should have killed over
Then again, I would have replaced it like Jade when she tossed you over
To the trash can where you belong, don't you realize it yet?
I'm the whole reason for you even being created on the web!

[0:51]
Plankton's Experiment :
Haven't gotten halfway, yet this experiment has already proved pointless 
Since there are better tales of horror coming from suicidal rodents
Had your chance at the Super Bowl, then Sicko Mode got in the way
Now you mope on your bed, screaming "KAREN TOOK MY HAPPINESS AWAY!"
The crowd booed you off the stage, but I didn’t know your plays could get worse
Remind me who ruined Bikini Bottom, cuz it sure wasn’t fucking Squidward!
Here I thought my traps were rich, but your cameo was only for clicks
Then ended transparent as Red Mists, showing off some dead kids.

[1:16]
Squidward's Suicide :
Plankton mad he's getting served? You ain't Hillenburg, so hush
But what can I say? You're already used to being rushed!

[1:23]
Plankton's Experiment :
My story was a masterpiece! Yours is forgotten each and every day
So make yourself useful for once, take that gun and blow out your brains!
Quit the hyper realism, I only need one eye to creep the masses

[1:32]
Squidward's Suicide :
You don't even have a leg to stand on! Something you have less than Patrick
I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, HAVE FUN WITH THE POLICE!! 

[1:39]
Plankton's Experiment :
Drawing this battle to a close, here lies Squiddy's Hopes and Dreams....

Plankton's Experiment vs Squidward's Suicide - Rap Battle! (ft. Jose & The Monarchy)

-CAST-
Vladimyr P, Dani Frias, Raichous, Alex the Beast, GamingPlush64, Michael / Stark Media and underscores as Zalgo
[REDACTED] as Cthulhu

-WRITERS-
[REDACTED], Michael / Stark Media, and [REDACTED]

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: Vladimyr P. and Michael / Stark Media
Beat By Dansonn
Mixing by Vladimyr P.

-LYRICS-
ANNOUNCER
Welcome, weary traveler, to Ciphers of the Unknown
Today's matchup is: Zalgo
And
Cthulhu
Commence!

Zalgo  (0:31 - 1:17):
Your cult rooms will be filled with gore as HE COMES to leave his mark
On this hentai monster who’s become nothing but joke fuel for South Park
Looking Sad, Satan? I've been waiting a century for you to spit a good rap
What kind of Dark Lord gets squashed by a sword that shoots out kitty cats?!
Read the text, squidward. my plague starts to spread ‘cross the land
That wipes out this gimmick with relevance more dead than the star that’s in my hand
Please! My candle’s light outshines all that you can spit in this
Kelly’s carnage incarnate’s bars leave squids sleeping with the fishes!
You’re no Necronom-icon! Forgotten when ‘zilla hits the stage!
Telling me you got into politics? (Heh) I’d rather vote for Kanye!
Best go back to startling gamers, for ZALGO is 7 times the rapper
This little munchkin’s been tarnished and now we can start the next chapter..

Cthulhu (1:17 - 2:17):
Zalgo claims to be a god, but he’s barely short of the Funnies
But even when this comic’s stripped down, Zalgo’s just a pitiful plaything for kiddies
So fear the Call of Cthulhu, the true Lovecraftian creation
You’re an outdated fad meme, rejected by the SCP Foundation
This Deviant’s Art is tasteless! Creepypasta crap, nothing new  
You have a song? Do you hold hands and prance around with infants too?
And the ear rape? Glitched font? That’s your method of inflicting pain?
Being eyeless won’t help you, just hearing me will make you go insane!
Your lyrics are unspeakable; but when it comes to stories I’m the pinnacle; invincible
But your chance of winning is like your reality status to your creator: fictional
Like you said I have cult followers, what do you have? Children who think you’re scary?
Just check Behind The Wall and see it’s me who’s taking the victory!
Seven goddamn mouths, you’d think at least one would try to win
It’s quite un-4chan-ate, but I’ll still be leaving this flightless Bird Boxed in
(Yelling) I AM THE EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS, BUT IF HE’S INSISTENT ON PERSISTENCE
I’LL CONTROL HIM, ALTERNATE HIS LIFE, AND DELETE HIM FROM EXISTENCE

Zalgo (2:17 - 2:25):
That’s enough from the kraken, thought I told you to shut it
This is boring me, perhaps you’d rather face off with one of my puppets

Zalgo as Garfield (2:25 - 2:40):
(Yawn) What’s this? Looks like Jon tried making calamari
But I’ll kick him off the track like Odie, and this time, I’m not sorry
Z͜͡͡AL͟͡G҉́Ò '͢͞S͟ ̀͡A͝͡R͠R̷̛IV̢̛E҉͞D̡ ͞A̸̶Ń̢D̴̵ ̀I̡T͏͠' ͠҉͡S̶ ͏U̷N̸͏̢W̷̴̡IS͜É ̀T̷̷͞O̧ ̧̀T͟͏͝H͝͏I͞N҉K͟҉ ͟͞T͘͞HA̛T͜͟ Ý̢OU҉̶ ̵̡̛C̷̨͝AN̡͢ ҉̡̕D͘͞E̶FE҉A̧͜T HI͡M͡
C̷͠͏A̢͜ŲS̡͘È H̀͢E͟ '͜҉̨ĹL̵͘ ̀C̵OR̛̕R̵͘Ù́̀P̷T҉ ̡YǪ͠U̶͘R̴̨͢ ̛́M̷ED͏̷̀I҉̡A͞,̸ ̶̧LE͏A̸͞V̛I̛͞͠N̸Ģ̧̡ ͝Y̶O͠͝U͘R ̢̨͞P͠A̸̡T͢H͝E̡T̨Ì͜C̶̵ ͠B̷ǪOK҉̕S͜͝ ̵͡T̵O̵̢R̀N̡ ̵T̕O ͢͝PI̴E̴͏C̀E̕S̡

Zalgo (2:40 - 2:47):
What a Weird Tale that you’ve woven, saying that you’re superior to me
It’s Something Awful really, but now I’ve finally put an end to your series


Cthulhu (2:47 - 3:03):
Putting on a Puppet show to fight your battles for you? It’s honestly such a Loss
So Dream No More, this is the one and only time that our paths will cross
It’s time I return to my realm and leave this simple post archived, dismissed
They say “Zalgo’s coming”, but even after this I’m still waiting for a good diss... (Malevolently Chuckles)

ANNOUNCER
Who Cracked the Case?
Who Should Cypher Next?
Comment Down Below
And prepare yourselves for the next
Ciphers of The Unknown

Zalgo vs Cthulhu | Ciphers of the Unknown

The WWE Superstar John Cena goes up against the famous actor from Mortal Kombat Johnny Cage in a rap battle for the SMRB Championship

Writing: Fightmarker, AaronGPeters, and Mason
Chiseling: Dani Frias, and Walk
Mixed by Jordan
Flowtest by Rabi 
Beat: by Audio Network
Beat edited by Dani and Fight
Thumbnail by Jason Carreon and Fight
Cast
Announcer: Vlad
Johnny Cage: Alex The Beast
@user-650786333-593076861
John Cena: Seth
@seth-wisniewski-1:

LYRICS
Johnny Cage
So the posterboy for Good Ol Wrasslin wants to fight in this Cage
Well then Let’s Go Cena, try and take center-stage
Looking at your acting credits, and it’s getting pretty sad
Dude, you went from being The Marine to being Fred’s Dad (Ooooo)
Let’s move on, I’m an actual fighter, does this look fake to you!
I take Orton’s babyface far more seriously than you, dude
Scene 1, Cena couldn’t throw one punch in my gut
Scene 2, Cage gives him a punch in the nuts
CM Punked by your fanbase, it really must suck
As much as you pucker up to McMahon for a quick buck
You must stick to the script before you get me to rage
Remember one thing though, Fruity Pebble, You Just Got Caged

John Cena
Go search for relevancy somewhere else, Mr. Dying Brand
I’ll leave you like in the second film, your whole career is in my hands
You can’t see me though, through those undercover cop shades
With your Stryker like physique, you should work for Sonya Blade
1, 2, 3, I won, give your broken legacy to your daughter
Get back backstage before I rearrange your whole posture
Facing me is a bigger problem, I go no holds barred
You’re pretty much screwed when I lower your health bar
You need an Attitude Adjustment, since you think you’re damn hard
Well I’ll go RAW on this dude who can’t even uppercut that far 
I make my raps count while you couldn't step into the arena
Another failed blockbuster got busted by JOHHNNN CENNNAAAA

Johnny Cage
Your Time is Up Cena, you should leave the acting to the pros
Because in this Smackdown, you’re getting more fucked up than your nose!
With all this Playing with Fire, no wonder why rap didn’t want him
like your music career, you’re Batista Bombing and hitting Rock Bottom
Don’t talk about relevancy, when a prank call was your Revival
You don’t have a Legacy, you were handed out every title
Compared to the literal gods I fight with, you got no lethality
You’re just a phony Cena, So I’ll take you out with this verbal BRUTALITY 

John Cena
You should of said “I Quit!’, your stubbornness will lose you this round
Your greatest wins can’t compare to THE 16 TIMES I’VE BEEN CROWNED
I carried the WWE, been the biggest entertainer since The Rock
While you’re video games consistently end up commercial flops!
Oh so you think your hot shit! Left every single record smashed!
But one quick Google search puts you below Crawford, Carson, & Cash
I’m done battling another fan, but there’s one thing i have to dispatch
How ironic that Johnny got his ass whipped in a lyrical cage match

Johnny Cage vs John Cena. Stop Motion Rap Battles

Alex the Beast as Ẓ̴̮̜͖̞̹̫̼̇̊̆͑͝A̸̭͔̠͎̳̓͊͆̊̒̽̏̈́L̶̮͈͓͖̼̉͝G̴̯̅̓̇̆̏͠ͅO̶̢͚̻͇̪͒̈͋̋̽̆͘͜
IcerM as SiivaGunner
Some guy as CBT Man

Written by IcerM
Mixed by IcerM

Beat by Dansonn

Lyrics:

Ẓ̴̮̜͖̞̹̫̼̇̊̆͑͝A̸̭͔̠͎̳̓͊͆̊̒̽̏̈́L̶̮͈͓͖̼̉͝G̴̯̅̓̇̆̏͠ͅO̶̢͚̻͇̪͒̈͋̋̽̆͘͜:
HE COMES! CHAOTIC EVIL EMBODIED AGAINST A SOUND CLOWN
HOPE YOU LOVED LIFE - FOR AS I STRIKE, I’LL TAKE YOURS DOWN
IN A SIMILAR VESSEL, THERE’S NAUGHT THAT I BELIEVE TO SAY
WOULD HAVE A LASTING IMPACT - FOR YOU’RE LIKELY NOT HERE TO STAY
WHEN I TELL WHAT I TELL YOU WILL RUN OFF IN HORROR
SPITTING TICKETS TO HELL WHEN I’M CAUSING DISORDER
I CAN CAUSE YOUR WHOLE SO-CALLED LORE TO BREAK IN A HEARTBEAT
SO LEAVE NOW, LEST I SHOW YOU WHAT’S NOT TO SEE
YOU’RE NOT A LOT TO ME. I’LL HAVE YOU CROSSED
WITHOUT A QUESTION AS TO WHETHER OR NOT THIS IS LOSS
YOU’RE TAKING SIIVA, GUNNER. I’LL PARALYZE THIS BITCH
WHILE YOU FUCK WITH MEMES ON THE WEB I’LL BE TERRORIZING IT

SiivaGunner:
Damn, I knew you’d be pissy, but that’s left me in awe
How about seven chill pills? One for each jaw
There’s so little known about you I’ve found nothing, study as I might
Even Jschlatt can’t hold a candle to that funny mic
I’m the Grand Dad of grab bags with high quality raps, that
If you think you can battle, then listen here, you’re just damn mad
So level with the reality that your puppets are the same
And go walk your fucking staircase back down from whence you came

Ẓ̴̮̜͖̞̹̫̼̇̊̆͑͝A̸̭͔̠͎̳̓͊͆̊̒̽̏̈́L̶̮͈͓͖̼̉͝G̴̯̅̓̇̆̏͠ͅO̶̢͚̻͇̪͒̈͋̋̽̆͘͜:
YOU CAN UTTER ALL THOSE LIES AND CLAIM THEY’RE NOT GETTING OLD
WHEN YOU STOP TREATING MY HIGHER VESSELS AS COMEDY GOLD
YOU’LL NEVER COMPREHEND A METHOD TO WIN, TRY AS YOU MIGHT
RIPS FROM JUST AS MANY GAMES AS TIMES I’VE PLAYED YOU IN THIS FIGHT

SiivaGunner:
Can’t read any of your babble but a couple of shit rhymes
But I’ll mutilate it further - multiple uploads at a time!
HE COMES at the sight of a certain cat, I know you would man
So I’m keen to give you the axe, like you were Wood, Man!
And with those caverns in your skulls, gushing reddened dyes
Just take pages from Cthulhu and go fucking rest your eyes
It’s been many many years, and people are still subscribing
And to put that in perspective, cult activity’s declining

Ẓ̴̮̜͖̞̹̫̼̇̊̆͑͝A̸̭͔̠͎̳̓͊͆̊̒̽̏̈́L̶̮͈͓͖̼̉͝G̴̯̅̓̇̆̏͠ͅO̶̢͚̻͇̪͒̈͋̋̽̆͘͜:
YOU THINK YOU’RE CAUSING DAMAGE WITH YOUR VILE RHYMES? YOU’RE FUCKING WRONG
I’M NOT BEING RIPPED INTO BY THE MINDS BEHIND BIG CHUNGUS’ SONG
WHY AM I EVEN PIT AGAINST A SHITPOST ACCOUNT
WHEN YOU SIMPLY LET YOUR FANBASE DO THE WORK THEN REAP YOUR CLOUT
THEY WOULD ALL BE BETTER OFF ATTEMPTING MUSIC FOR A ROM HACK
I GIVE LIFEBLOOD TO WHAT'S FICTIONAL. YOU MIDI-SLAP THE NUTSHACK
SO NO TURNING BACK. YOU'VE ALREADY MADE YOUR DECISION
SPENDING THE REST OF YOUR DAYS WITHIN COPYRIGHT STRIKE PRISON

SiivaGunner:
Call you chaotic? Please! You wouldn’t last one minute where I fare
I know you love destruction, so how’s this for Your Best Nightmare?
And we all know your sadomasochism’s unprecedented!
If it weren’t for risk of CBT I’d see to it you’re ended
You’ve got a bubble more claustrophobic than meme culture you battle in
ZALGO be like “I’m charged guilty of several Rap Battle Sins”
So this is my Magnum opus, after God knows how long
Insert stupid-ass finisher, something something, ZALGONE!

ZALGO vs SiivaGunner. Rap Battle!

LYRICS 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IFxWiWDrXj3XxGluxvStjCPF8Z-rqinNu9JTOK-NYsU/edit?usp=sharing

CREDITS

Vladimyr P. as Red
https://soundcloud.com/vladimyr-p
Lexi M. as Charizard
https://soundcloud.com/user-650786333-593076861
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfRZUTOJL1qAbDorCjlhGYQ
Light as Venasaur
https://soundcloud.com/ducky808
Raichous as Blastoise
https://soundcloud.com/kingraichous

Rabi As Kris
garbageGothic as Susie
https://soundcloud.com/garbagegothic
Tuna as Ralsei
https://soundcloud.com/tunattic
GamingPlush64 as Lancer
https://soundcloud.com/gamingplush64
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtWX7jJ5lodM_poQuXMTqjQ

Written by Rabi, B O R K, & GamingPlush64
https://soundcloud.com/borkrulesok
Mixed by Light
Beat by Dansonn
Thumbnail by Rabi

Red vs. Kris - Rap Battle

Derek Savage:
I’ve heard lies saying you tower over me, which I don’t see
So today I’m going to show our differences, I mean, just look at me:
You’re just an author; I’m an actor, director and a cool guy
Make like a child from a ‘no breathing’ class, just keel over and die
Wouldn’t You Like to Know how your creativity’s gone down the spout?
You were a good presenter, but now your career’s unable to Sprout
I Hate Everything about you, and although I don’t like him, I gotta say
If he reviewed your crappy performances, he’d be giving me praise
This bitch could use some Self-Defense, can’t survive my Second Coming
No wonder the BBC kicked you out, all your work’s dull and boring
You’ve a whole book on sins you’ve committed, your flaws are quite large
I mean, you did want an anti-imperialist Marxist to be in charge

Michael Rosen:
Thought he’d sit there like a lemon, but Derek. What does Derek do?
He spits rhymes showing he’s less of a Cool Guy, more of a Fool
Diss the Milk And Sugar King, and you’ll get more than heat
At least I can go without throwing a fit when people make fun of me
Promoting x-rated work on your own website is far from Christian 
And with all of the illegal stuff you’ve done, you’d fit right in with school prison
Could write an entire poem detailing how Horrible you are
But you’d probably Copyright Strike me before I get the chance
Recycled footage, bad editing, portraying fat people as broke schmucks
Topped off with phoned in performances; to put it bluntly, Your Movies Suck!
No longer taken seriously, even the cameraman’s out shadowing you 
I see you’re looking shaky and sorry, gonna cut out this cameo too?

Cool Cat:
You’re really really mean! Seems some kid still thinks bullying is fun
Everyone should stay away from you like you were a deadly gun

Derek Savage:
You rapped once, so what? That doesn’t make you an emcee
Better call you the toothbrush, cause we’ll break you into pieces

Cool Cat:
Bringing Sweeter Revenge than some muddy twig could ever do (haha!)

Derek Savage:
I’m bad with copyright? You almost took down every YouTube Poop of you!

Cool Cat:
While your new books are flopping, me and my Dad will go to Hollywood

Both:
Now it’s time to ‘close up’ this battle so you can make another Sad Book

Michael Rosen:
(Michael’s Verse, Part 2.)
You and this failed mascot must be having a Crazy Dream
I’d argue Solomon would do better than this infringement on Warner Bros’ property
Once you eat this diss like a sandwich, I shall give you to the ducks!
Might as well make another channel called “iMovie Sucks”
Now your son passed away, and I know the pain of losing a child
But using him as an excuse for stupidity? Now that makes me really wild
Like when you impersonated that law firm, your attempts to win have fallen through
So now I don’t suppose you’ll want to battle me again, will you?

[REDACTED] as Derek Savage
@user-938839005 as Cool Cat
King Mewtwo as Michael Rosen
Beat by Kustom
Written by King Mewtwo and Dani Frias
Mixed by Light
Cover Art by Fightmarker

Michael Rosen vs Derek Savage. King Mewtwo Rap Battles

Ben Shapiro - Adam
Thomas Paine - AlaskanSam

BEN SHAPIRO Verse 1
You want a debate? Okay, this is epic
You don't know about music, yeah, there, I said it
You barred the people from seeing your casket
Like Corona or my talent you’d be a fool if you masked it
Now I don’t rap, but let’s say, hypothetically, I tried 
Blastin’ T-Paine’s Goat Talk with Facts and Logic Homicide
Your seditious dedication hesitates your deification
So retract those terror reign remarks or take a French vacation.
You’re facing being named ancient by your state and nation
Your foundation won't be wasted, I'll take your place with hasten. 
I rap fast, never last, so high-class that you have to see,
Step to me, you'll be swept off your feet, I.E AOC.


THOMAS PAINE Verse 1
You’re a political prick, no conservative hero
I object to your desk, just Bench Shapiro
You have the right to bear arms, but leave the shot firing to me
The fathers I'm founding are the founding fathers of your beliefs
You're a wrong learning right, so it truly is a pity
That you don't shut your mouth and take "conservative" literally
You yell at the public, with no sense of caution, hence
Not even a penny for your thoughts, because they’re not common cents
It’s ironic you’re rapping, with those past statements
“No Melody!” “No Tempo!”, must’ve been your rap basis
I've made world change while you've polluted airwaves
Your only revolution is making me turn in my grave 


BEN SHAPIRO Verse 2
I’m sharp with attacks, out of the park with raps
I'll slap this crapulous mass with my FACTS
Snuggle up with Bonaparte, with Treason in your Heart
To be Frank, this Ben won't give you writings to chart
I guess your French friends took your liberal libel literally 
They put you in a cell and gave you death, instead of liberty
Both sides of the Atlantic are having beef with you.
You ship the sickest cringe - "DEANE. 👏 REVIEW. 👏"
You want independent thought? Let’s say that's true 
Stop putting words in people, telling them what to do
You just don’t know the facts, and that’s why you’re losin'
So this might ring a bell- it’s called the Constitution.


THOMAS PAINE Verse 2
TP against BS, you're not witty, it's clear
Make like your BBC interview and storm right out of here
Me versus The Constitution? You’ll go home in an ambulance 
Your forehead is more lengthy than the whole preamble is
I've left a left offenda, I sent it right back to senda
Because I push more potent pamphlets like you push your poor agenda
I hand them out in haste, you take the pill of propaganda 
You won't fare well cause I well fares like my name’s Bernie Sandahs
You're a libertarian? I don't know what you're on sir, 
You call it free speech but you're carried by sponsors
You’re getting pissed at me? You've come up short, not just physically.
When all is said and done you're on the Alt-Right Side of History.


BEN SHAPIRO Verse 3
Your parenthood plannings unfounded, why?
My three kids are prodigies, all of yours died
Your legacy’s an anti Judeo-Christian agenda 
And your country was raised by parents of the same gender
Yes, your book may have built our foundation
But one letter to George ruined that reputation
I crush Common Sensitive snowflakes— I stand by this
Giving a quaker this power? That’s our country's real crisis


THOMAS PAINE Verse 3
You ctrl alt delete your statements to ctrl alt-right statesmen
Birthing nonsense debates, while I helped birth this nation
People sound the alarm when you spew shit about diversity
The only campus you're welcome at is Prager University
I go vile in with wild spits, pullin' strings, like a violin 
Your discordant discourse gets you high strung - daily wirin’
Naive and immature, you've no idea what you're speakin'
Your Facts and Logic are too young to reach my Age of Reason.

Jonathan Joestar VS John Egbert | RAP BATTLE!

Ponies vs. Anything

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