Existential Error

“Down and Sorry”

You never said goodbye…
I never said enough…

Verse

I wear regret like it’s stitched in my skin
Every word I said, now cuts from within
You were the calm in my chaos and fire
But I burned it down, lit by my own desire

Pre-Chorus

Tell me—
Would you take me back if I bled the truth?
If I tore myself down, would I be enough for you?

Chorus

I’m down and sorry (clean screamed)
Buried deep in what I’ve done
Tried to outrun the pain, but it always won
I’m down and sorry
And it’s killing me, I’m the broken one

Verse

You warned me love ain’t a game to play
But I gambled it all and threw it away
Now I’m choking on the silence you left
Every memory’s a nail in my chest

Chorus

I’m down and sorry
Buried deep in what I’ve done
Tried to outrun the pain, but it always won
I’m down and sorry
And it’s killing me, I’m the broken one

Bridge

Tear me apart—if it brings you peace
Rip my name from your history
I see it now—I was blind and cruel
You were love, and I was the fool

Final Chorus 

I’m down and sorry
No redemption left in me
But if I had one chance, I’d set you free
I’m down and sorry
And I’d give it all just to hear you breathe…

Outro

I’m still calling your name…
but it’s just me in the silence…

Down And Sorry

Verde

24 7 30

Echoes ripping open my mind

I feel the tremor crawling up my spine

Take me far away from me

Let me rot

I’m sinking back into the noise
My mind is breaking with no choice
Every echo feels like fate
And I can’t carry all this weight—

AAAAAAAAAAAAH—

I feel the hole inside my chest 
Growing bigger every day 
I try to scream but nothing’s left 
Just the shadows that I made

Every thought collapses
Every truth unravels
I’m fading, degrading
Into my private hell—

I’m hollow inside
And I can’t fill the silence
I’m losing my mind
No meaning, no guidance
I’m falling apart
Like a ghost I can’t revive
There’s nothing to find
In the void where I survive

I chase the pieces of myself 
But they dissolve when I get close 
I’m trapped inside a fading shell 
My purpose buried in the smoke 

I’m breaking, reshaping
What’s left of who I was
Detaching, collapsing
Nothing’s ever enough—

I’m hollow inside
And I can’t fill the silence
I’m losing my mind
No meaning, no guidance
I’m falling apart
Like a ghost I can’t revive
There’s nothing to find
In the void where I survive

Cut me open—
See the emptiness I hide!
Tear the noise out—
I’m already dead inside!
Nothing left now—
Just a body in decline!
I keep screaming—
Just to prove that I'm alive!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I’m hollow inside 
No escape from the silence
I’m losing my mind 
Drifting without guidance
I’m falling apart 
Just a ghost I can’t revive
There’s nothing to find
In the void where I survive

Empty inside

TAKE ME OUT OF THIS VOID!

The Quiet Barber, first album, on vinyl here: https://elasticstage.com/tqb

Above The Lake

Renaissance (2025) Remastered

Part 2 of the final track of Then She Reaches For The Gun's 2nd Album
released in Jan 2025 - nomatesensemble.bandcamp.com/album/i-am…m-with-you.

Then She Reaches for the Gun was formed in 2021 by Mat Ward. At its essence is sound collage, Ward invites musicians, sound artists, poets and anyone interested to send him files to be used, abused and showcased ‘as suggested by the work’. They are not always musical but field recordings, spoken word, engine noises and drunken rants. Animals participate a lot too! The raw material is arranged with one phrase asking for the next in an alchemical and intuitive process that will most often feature dozens of tracks weaving in and out of each other, colliding, harmonising, arguing and laughing along the way.

Both the aesthetic and the compositional methods use what Frank Zappa called Xenochrony - the mixing together of separately recorded and rhythmically opposing musical phrases to create polyrhythmic and polytempi compositions.The work also features fragmented story telling with the human voice (in many languages) appearing unannounced throughout the tracks offering up snippets of thoughts, conversations, jokes and existential angst. The absurdity of humanities desperate claim to have any real understanding of its place in the universe is revealed through the recorded follies and genuine emotions of the artists. The project is a celebration of chance, diversity and community. It pays homage to all musical tastes and genres whilst maintaining a sense of humour and irreverence that is needed to stay sane in the climate of 21st Century contemporary culture.

Then She Reaches For The Gun is

Humans

Adam Meredith - Ford XD with XF front mods/Voice
Ambient Annie - Electronica/Field Recording/Voice
Andrew Harper - Field Recordings
Angostura Elwar - 2 x Behringer CRAVE analog synths/Yamaha P200 electronic piano
Antonella Eye Porcelluzzi - Text/Voice
Ariad Music - Clarinet/Percussion/Piano
Axel Weiß - Electric Guitar/Robot Voices
Banalytic - Experimental Electronics
Belial Pelgrim - Digital Strings/Electronica
Brendan Corey Benson - Electric Guitar
Carolyn Wigston - Voice
Chicago Word Brigade - Electronica
Dan Hewins - Bass Guitar
Dane Renshaw - Drums/Voice
Dani Kirby - Keyboard/Piano/Voice
Dylan Banks - Intonarumori/Voice
Frank Wilke - French Horn/Trombone/Voice
Garbage Truck Disco - Drum programming/Electric Guitar/Joyous Pop Punk
Glenn Ward - Electric Guitar/Skyhooks
Hakan - Moog Voyager XL
Hverheij- Drums/Electric Guitar/Synth
Johnny Python- Bass Guitar/Drum Programming/Electric Guitar/Text/Voice
JZsuperstar - Electric Guitar/Field Recordings/Keyboards
Lady ElectroTrek - Organ
Libby Laksmi - Jazzy Loops/Synth Bass
Loop(c)y - Electric Guitar
Malo Bernard-O’Meara - Drums
Maxx Black - Guitar/Ukulele
Minimal Drone Girl - Cat Wrangling/Field Recordings
Oberlin - Eurorack/Piano
Paolo D’Emilio - Electronica
Paul Miller - Electronic Percussion/Keyboards/Phat Electro Bass
Phil Bywater - Saxophones/Voice
Raul Mainer - DAW Programming/Heavy Metal
Robert Jefferson - Akai Rhythm wolf/GakkenSX-150 ll/Korg Kaosilator/Percussion
Rosin Dust - Violin/Field Recordings
Sarah Megahertz - Speedway Noise
Scratch Kelly - Beats/Electronica
Stan Magendanz - Electronica
Ten Atmospheres - Field Recordings/Synths
Texmex Shaman - Electric Guitar
The Windscale Blues Experiment - Clarinet/Flute/Saxophones
Timothy Korstad - Demons/Electronica
Thomas Bergheim - Bass Guitar/Electric Guitar
Tobias Schmitt - Electronica/Processed Organ/Text
Tuonela - Demons/Electronica
Vartch - Drones/Things/Trousers (not T-shirts)/Voice
Widar’s Spiritual Front - Electronica/Ms Pacman
W:I:L-o’ the-wisp - Bass Guitar/Electric Guitar/Electronica
Wivresse - Electronica/Voice
Zanshin - Acoustic and Processed Drums

Mat Ward - Arrangements/Bass Guitar/Double Bass/Field Recordings/Intonarumori/Marimba/Noise/Percussion/Piano

Dogs
Boogie
Brophy
Buddy
Hancho
Jack
Momo
Neska
Poldo
Senna
Shyamsundara
Star
Oily (cat)
And many cows from Milis, Sardinia

Cooking Hard Boiled Eggs in a Cheap Motel in Adelaide Part 2 (Yahtzee with Mackerel on the Bed Mix)

New Track - Work in Progress
Rap Performance & Lyrics by Amanitalinda 
(It's not included in our demo mix yet!)

Your Child of Nature ✨🌟❤️🌟✨

Every Scar a Star

The Colorful Voice

broken bones

Title: Reflections of Illusions

Verse 1
Here I am again, trapped in this blue sphere,
Illusions and temptations spinning everywhere.
I’ve just left the edge, returned to cycles,
Round and round, the wheel of life recycles.

Time folds, minds wander, lost in fractured stars,
A storm of doubt inside erases all my charts.
Here I stand, I fall, I rise, I bend,
Searching for a way, around each twisted end.

Chorus (repeatable, melodic hook)
Reflections of illusions, shadows in my mind,
Breaking through the silence, leaving fear behind.
Rise, fly, reach the wind, leave the past confined,
In the echoes of illusions, freedom you will find.

Verse 2
Cold notes cut the space where my quiet mind hides,
Hope dissolves, truth stares back with all its lies.
Bells of doubt echo through chambers of my reason,
Steps fade out, trapped inside the changing season.

Verse 3
Paths cross, yet I stay, weighed down by the crown,
Samsara pulls me back, drags me far down.
But a burning voice whispers, “this is not the end,”
Rise, fly, reach the wind, let the spirit ascend.

Chorus (repeatable, melodic hook)
Reflections of illusions, shadows in my mind,
Breaking through the silence, leaving fear behind.
Rise, fly, reach the wind, leave the past confined,
In the echoes of illusions, freedom you will find.

Outro (optional, instrumental-friendly)
Blue sphere fades, the storm dissolves,
Fractured stars realign, the mind evolves.
Rise again, fly again, let the wind be your guide,
Through reflections of illusions, see the light inside.

I feel the tremor crawling up my spine

projectTRASH

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