written and recorded march 2014 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)


big carl

written and recorded 2014 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)

puddlejump

written and recorded 2014 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)

the track art is the torn up backside of one of my favorite basement chairs.  my cat verbal (who ain't here no more) would go to town on my basement furniture.  we had a deal, and for his part, he did a good job of leaving our upstairs stuff relatively unharmed.  the chair from the pic is honestly not all that comfy, but i miss my buddy...and when i sit there i like to pretend that he's behind me going to town keeping his shit sharp.

the song has nothing to do with my cat.  i wrote it for a friend.

them words:
you gotta be stronger than your heart.  because he swears to you that he cares for you, but he's tearing you apart.

bonus stuff:  (who hoo...bonus!!)

there is another very different version of this song.  the music is much faster and completely backwards.  and the vocals are completely different.  i made a video if you want to watch :)

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=812962368731206

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-tibBKFeNQ

the acoustic guitar and bass lines were recorded on 4-track cassette.  i moved the tracks over individually to my laptop using audacity.  i did a ton of editing.  i then added the vocals and beatbox straight to audacity (using the 4-track as a vocal amp).

the first half of my pretzels page is pure 4-track recordings.  recently most of my recordings are much more like this.  some kind of weird in-breed of cassette and free downloaded multi tracker.

that's all.  i hope you feel bonus'd.  :D

tearing you apart

the end credits music from the upcoming feature - Princess of the Desert 2 : Trouble in Choppertown

go princess go

THE LAND OF BEARS is a B-side from the cassingle "bears with guns".  this is my first attempt at mixing two songs together.  both bass riffs were recorded using the same drum beat, which made it much easier i'm sure.  i also started playing around with the EQ a bit on this track.  this stuff confuses me, but i'm having fun with the little i'm understanding so far.

the land of bears

four track cassette recording.
track1 - drums and bass guitar
track2 - flute army
track3/4 - limited vocals

written and recorded feb.2012 by andrew salvner

the words-
     steve danger, he don't scare
     steve danger walks on air
     he's got a helmet on, cause he likes it there
     steve danger, danger, steve

     steve danger, he don't run
     steve danger's afraid of no one
     lil' spaceman rockin' the turret gun
     danger, spaceman, danger, spaceman

danger, spaceman

written and recorded march 2012 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)
7-track cassette tape - trk1-beatbox / trk2&3-bass guitar / trk4-piano / track5,6&7-vocals

the words:
sneaking up on an elite wizard lizard patrol - saw them resting at the watering hole - now's the time to show some self control, you want to barrel roll, here we go, it's time to rock and roll - advancing on the watering hole, you can see wizards eating crescent rolls from salad bowls - closing in you move to cruise control, you see your ace in the hole, crushing souls, and smashing food holes.  (beat box solo)  this minotaur, he's as big as a car, he's like a battle-star, he can cold throw a wizard real far - he smokes high class cigars, he plays mean ass guitars, he runs with minotaurs and jaguars.

(one of five songs meant for an animation musical that ain't gonna happen.  so now it's just a song about some strange minotaur vs. wizard war)

minotaurs (fighting wizards on lizards)

written and recorded may 2011 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)
4-track cassette tape - trk1-drums&bass / trk2-limited organ / trk3&4-vocals

the words:
she's got a motorboat (x3)
she's got a motor motor motorboat
she's got a motor boat
she's been walking on water since she learned how to float
she's got a whole bunch of bling hanging 'round her throat
she's got a goat coat ---- that's a coat made from a goat
she's got a motor boat
she's been walking on water since she learned how to float
she's got a whole bunch of bling hanging 'round her throat
she's got a goat coat ---- that's a coat made from a goat

she's got a mobile home
drives around town when she's all alone
picks up jerome
she's alone with jerome in her mobile home

she's got a motor boat
she's got a mobile home
she's got a mobile phone
she's got a crossbow

she's got a motor boat
wakka wakkin' on water since she learned how to float
she's got a whole bunch of bling hanging 'round her throat
she's got a goat coat ---- that's a coat made from a goat
she's got a motor boat
she's been walking on water since she learned how to float
she's got a whole bunch of bling hanging 'round her throat
she's got a goat coat ---- that's a coat made from a goat
she's got a motorboat

she's got a motorboat

written and recorded july 2011 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)
4-track cassette tape - trk1-drums and bass  /  trk 2-piano  /  trk3&4-vocals

the words:
there was one bear
one who could fly
the other bears hated this
and they plotted his demise

bears with guns, and there were bears with guns

there was one bear
one who could fly
the other bears were jealous of this
and they shot him out of the sky

bears with guns, and there were bears with guns

bears with guns

written and recorded may 2012 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)

a twelve second chunk of an older guitar recording.  i looped it a few times, and recorded way too many vocal tracks on top of it.  the song started out being about locals looking at the upcoming tourist season in summer towns, and then it went south.


the summer people

written and recorded july 2012 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)
3-track cassette - trk1-bass guitar / trk2&3-bad vocals

the words:
and you can't do anything ('cause you're you), and he's steven seagal..........steven seagal, he can punch right through a wall.  he can defeat robots like voltron and go-bots.  took your toys and he broke them.  looked at you and said "tough titties...i broke your toys, whatcha going to do about it?"  and you can't do anything ('cause you're you), and he's steven seagal.

and you can't do anything ('cause you're you)

written and recorded july 2012 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)
4-track cassette for the bass guitar, drums and keyboard.  audacity and a minor headache for the vocals.  still not happy with this one, but i'm done with it.

them words:
Sorry I hadn’t called, but baby things have not been well.  That was me on the news that you saw last night, and I’m probably goin’ to hell.  It should have gone down differently, nobody was supposed to die.  You should see the money, honey…It reaches to the, reaches to the sky.

you should see the money, honey

written and recorded august 2012 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)

wrote this yesterday morning.

the words:
you think you're strong, but you can't control yourself.

she won't hold you, and she done told you
everything will never be all right.

she won't hold you (and she done told you)

As much an experiment as a song – this is my attempt at making a song that plays both forwards and backwards...with understandable melodies and lyrics in each direction.

i've listened to it too much to be objectionable any longer, i'm really interested in the feedback on this...

AFTER LISTENING TO THE SONG – PLEASE WATCH THE VIDEO (BACKWARDS VERSION)

http://youtu.be/vdBSF9Vtx04 

it's the same exact song  (just turned backwards and animated to help the strange lyrics)

I started by using an 11 second piece of an older song.  I reversed it, looped it a few times and added a new melody and vocals.

Then I reversed everything again.  Now the music was playing forward again, but my new vocals were now backwards.  I then spent hours translating these new backwards vocals into something close to english.  After translating everything, I layered on a couple backup vocals singing my new “backwards” lyrics.

Finally, I reversed the song one last time and added one last vocal track going the original direction to reinforce my original vocal line.

The FORWARD words:

The city is torn and burning,
And the beasts are headed west now.

And you’re hoping, yes you’re hoping,
That they aren’t coming back for you.

*the older song that I stole the 11 second instrumental clip was PLASTIC RELIGION by DROPDEAD ORANGE.  This was a band I was part of a long time ago.  Recorded in 1992 by Casey Denno.  I played keyboards, Dan Meyer was on drums, Josh Flukes on bass guitar, and Casey Denno on guitar.

if you download it and reverse it yourself...here's the backwards lyrics.  i strongly recommend  the video though for better understanding.

the BACKWARDS words:

Oooooh, your friend Mark’s my hair color.
Your boy Slayer, in their Porsche night.
Oooooh, your friend Mark’s buying it.
Your boy Slayer, in their plane.
Well that’s all weird…at how it seems night time.
The bourbon belongs to Elissen.


and the beasts are headed west now

written and recorded july 2012 by andrew salvner
music on cassette 4-track (2 bass lines, and a fast drum loop off my cheap ass digitech bass pedal)
vocals via audacity

a n o t h e r _  s h o r t _  s t o r y :
You get pushed in a puddle and laughed at.  You run home sad, with wet pants and get your sweet ninja weapons from under your bed.  You hide outside the jerk's house waiting for them, but they don't come home that night, nor early the next day. you stay hidden. waiting...trying to stay awake. When they finally return, you jump out and unleash some quality nerdrage upon the offenders.

t h e m _  w o r d s :
hiding round the corner with my 'chucks and throwing stars
watching you and your friends climbing out your cars
‘cause i’ve been waiting for you..........for like a day or two

see me running towards you spinning 'chucks and tossing stars
watching as your friends all dive behind their cars
‘cause i’ve been waiting for you..........for like a day or two

'chucks and throwing stars (normal speed)

simple cassette 4-track recording.  first time i have recorded guitar in eight years.  one acoustic guitar track, two soprano ukulele tracks, and one track where i sing like a girl.  written and recorded january 2013 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)

there was one bear

written and recorded may 2013 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone)
recorded on 4-track cassette (vocals mixed on audacity)
track 1 – bass guitar and drums / track 2 – piano / track 3 – flute (keyboard) / track 4 – vocals 

I busted out my old yamaha psr300m for this track.  there is something about that keyboard.  i have had it for 20 years.  it is just fun to bang on.

the vocals and keyboard parts are brand new…just recorded them the other day, the bass and drums I recorded a few months ago.  it might be the bass line that I am most proud of.  I got lucky when I recorded it…don’t know that I could play it as well again :)

the lyrics (and melody) are a reworking of an experimental piece i released a year ago.  the original version only used a short guitar loop, and I had always wanted to redo it with more instruments.

the words:
here comes the summer people.  the suntan lotion motorboat people.
here comes the people with boats, they all got ropes on their boats
they'll tie you up with those ropes, while wearing coats on their boats
you gotta keep your head down, they're looking all 'round the town.
they're finding people to drown.  here they come, get down.
here comes the summer people.  the suntan lotion motorboat people
i saw 'em coming up over the hill.  they're coming quickly now, we gotta get out.

the first take on this song can be found here --- http://soundcloud.com/pretzelsmalone/the-summer-people

pretzels malone

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