NSFW trigger warning 
Demo songs 
Lyrics:
Was just tryna mask pain and manage decline I ran out of viens While tryina get high I don't want to be seen like this so I isolate while I chase chemical bliss the only hate I have in me is for me and being alone

Nothing changes unless you change it
Pokin needles in your skin til your veinless 
Not to shame it It just goes to show the power of addiction Like getting high is lifes mission 

The shady shot I did just to survive I had to be high life on the streets I had my camp in the valley But It's not not safe to sleep especially at night Navigate thro back alleys
Be ready to fight Just to keep what little you got And it never stops ×6 stop×4

Nothing changes unless you change it Making money in a trapped out basement
Not to shame it  But do you really want to be just a statistic Live fast party hard and die quick Making money selling ur ass n sucking d

I'm trying to move forward
And work through my trauma
 cut out toxic people
The ones who breed chaos and drama
But now it seems Im oft
alone with my thots
I shake head and  sigh
Because 
I wasted so much of  life
Chasing the high
Doin what I had to In order to get by by by

Nothipng changes unless you
Change it!
street sisters smoking heroin while pregnant 
Not to shame it
just goes to show the power of addiction
We use to cope to cover up these inner afflictions

Nothing changes unless you change it
Smoking crystal meth till you're brainless 
Not to shame it
We've been the  All night flail show entertainment 
We've seen skulls curb stomped into the pavement
If you can get out while you can escape it
Or We'll keep doing drugs until we're ancient
Which in this lifestyles less than a decade

We keep using if we think we can contain it

(We keep using if we think we can sustain it
Keep using till it's easier abstianing)×3

Nothing Changes

This is a demo. I'm thinking of making a shortened version.

Lyrics:
When I was lost
I would pretend you were by my side
It helped me get through my darkest times
When I was alone in the city streets at night I did alone what we did together and I made out alright

Dark is the day and the night will just get closer
I've missed so much time keeps slipping I feel a thousand years older
Dark is the day I miss you more than anything
I can't believe youre gone I can't believe this is happening

Chorus: 
When no one was around I would talk to you
I could almost hear your voice through the trees I miss looking at the stars with you I could almost feel your kiss on the breeze

Dark is the day and the world is so much darker without you I lost my way home but how can it be home without you
Without you
Dark is how I'm broken hearted over my dearly departed
I see you in the stars at night
I miss you in my life

Chorus

Dark is the day and darker still is the night
I'm trapped in a nightmare where you lost your life except this is real
Dark is the day I'm so sorry I couldn't help you you needed more help than I knew what to do 
And that's forever on me

Chorus

Dark is the Day

NSFW Mabey trigger warning possibly 
These are all demos. I'm hoping to get some feedback so I can refine them. I think the guitar during the verses is too quiet. re-sing all the chorus just not hitting the notes I want.  

lyrics: 
He pulled out his 9mm and pointed it at me/Laughed and said it was all in jest
Then he targeted at the stars and fired/and I must confess

Chorus
The times I been scared for my life have all been with you
I never know what you will do
But the best time of my life have been with you
not a thing not a thing not a thing would I undo

V2
Don't get in the truck with him
You dont know what could happen
Burn the rubber off all the tires
You never know what's next to get set on fire
He loves his guns his knifes, blowing stuff up
No matter the excess it's just not enough

Chorus
The times I been scared for my life have all been with you
I never know what you will do
But the best time of my life have been with you
not a thing not a thing not a thing would I undo

V3
He put his knife to my throat with a wink
And brought back an ounce of co
It's amazing how many times we didn't sink
Didn't crash and burn didn't go up in smoke
Mabey today does he have his vest on?
Violence is just his preferred form of expression

Chorus
The times I been scared for my life have all been with you
I never know what you will do
But the best time of my life happen with you
not a thing not a thing not a thing I wouldn't do
but it's okay cuz nobody died this time it's okay cuz nobody died

The times I been scared for my life have all been with you
I never know what you will do
But the best time of my life have been with you
not a thing not a thing not a thing I wouldn't do
 but it's okay cuz nobody died this day it's okay cuz nobody died


Night of Hymns

NSFW trigger warning 
Song about drug use I wrote after 2 years clean to help me through some terribly strong cravings.

Nothing is Ever Enough

This a demo of my first love song. I need to work on the bass it's too basic right now I need to redo a bunch of the vocals I am going to add some double kicks to the drums. need to change the lyrics "is it ducked for me to say I wanna have u till we're old" to Mabey "is it green..." but green means sustainable nowadays instead of novice like I would intend. Any ideas?


I wish I could be as selfish as you wish I had the self esteem to do the things you do
You know that I have trauma too it's seems to ease my pain when I spend my time with you

I felt your pain(hurt) it attracted me
We have some stuff in common
You use humor your smile is all we see
Youre drinking might(has) become a problem

Chorus 
Oh how if I could bury the pain 
where would I be now today if only
Oh god if I could start all over again 
do it right next time around if only
If only if only if only

I think you grew a heart of gold
*is it fucked for me to say I wanna have ya till we're old*
But I'm still naive when it comes to loving I'll give it my all till I got nothing give it my all till I got nothing give ity all till I got nothing

Chorus

Compared to the problematic relationships of days gone by I wouldn't consider you an addict but it's such a fine line
Once it's crossed once it's breached once it's left out to the dogs you'll be lost and outta reach with intervention in the hands of the gods hands of the gods

Chorus

What's a healthy relationship look like tell me tell me I implore
Is it cool if I burn my name into your skin so you'll be more forever more
So you'll be mine forever more
You're mine forever more

Chorus 


IF ONLY

NSFF trigger warning 
I've been told you can't understand any of the lyrics so I'll have to mess around with that. I can't believe I'm saying this but it also might be a bit heavy on the bass.

lyrics:

I went in weird chatrooms when I was 11 
and I met a new friend
He was in his 40s a meth cook in Illinois
(No trickery  I was friends with him by choice)                                                              

Nostalgia nostalgia 

belly button music videos used to make us happy  
But we had no YouTube could only watch on MTV
Stealing songs off limewire I was happy enough
Now there's Instagram models selling us big butts

Nostalgia nostalgia 

I want to make new age music for the people
Even though Im scared of them 
I wanna stay off the drugs
I remember some good times
Please let me stay scared of them

Nostalgia nostalgia 

Makes me want to go back
But we've come some far
I'm in a much better place now
Let's Keep moving forward
Moving forward and onward
To a new tomorrow 
To a new tomorrow 


Nostalgia

Demo song about love lost

lyrics:
Moving meadows come to meet me
When you go I am lost
Don't forget me and the things weve done 
I was by your side all along

Now that summers gone and you'll be moving on
Is there nothing we can mend 
Or is this really summers end?

Moving meadows come to meet me
You're all my best memories
I don't remember life before you
Why do you have to leave

Now that summers gone and you'll be moving on
Is there nothing we can mend 
Or is this really summers end?

Meet me by the polar ice I have come to memorize your face before your gone
Now that summers at its end am I to lose my dearest friend I can't just move on

Moving meadows time to meet me
For our last goodbye
Life and time it will deplete me
No matter how hard I try

And when you go will you really come back or you just saying that our of tact
I know I'll never see you again 
All of my sorrow at summers end
I know I'll never see you again 
All of my sorrow at summers end


Moving Meadows

Trigger warning. These lyrics contain depictions of self harm and problematic language.

V1
Mabey I'm depressed
Mabey don't wanna get outta bed
Mabey I'm a wreck 
Mabey I wanna overdose on all of the meds
Mabey there's ppl all around me but I feel so alone
Mabey the people who really understood me, well they've all passed on

Chorus
Am I misunderstood?
I am a mess
Help me elevate my mood
I think I am depressed 

V2
Mabey I did drugs to fill this void
Mabey I was lost for so long
So many feelings I try to avoid
I quit drugs but the void it isn't gone
I wish I could get away from me
Mabey I'm doin a shit job in my recovery
But baby baby I'm still clean
and that's got to mean something

Chorus
Am I misunderstood?
I am a mess
Help me elevate my mood
I think I am depressed 

V3
Mabey I need to be medicated
Maybe I should find God
You know I would be elated 
if I found a way to move on
All the loss all the people that are gone
All the guilt I feel from all the shitty things that's I've done
Will I ever achieve inner peace again?
Will I find the answers to my questions in the end?

 Chorus
Am I misunderstood?
I am a mess
Help me elevate my mood
I think I am depressed 
Am I misunderstood?
I am a mess
Help me elevate my mood
I think I am depressed 

I'm Depressed

The road is dark the night is endless
Haven't seen you around
Please do t say you want to end this
I heard a rumor you left town

Is all I feel pain and darkness
The space between us is vast
The sky tonight is black and starless
I guess how long could it really last 

I'll drown my sorrows on you
As you drown me in your sadness 
Then I'll be
Then I'll be
Happy happy happy

The night's so cold and death so senseless
The time we have isn't long
I really hope that we can mend this
Before all of our time is gone

The tide is low my mind is wandering
Is it something I did wrong
I hear you sing that sad old song again 
And realize it was my fault all along

I'll fill you with my black abyss
As you kill me with your emptiness
Then I'll know
Then I'll know
It'll be peaceful peaceful peaceful 

Starless

I used to live on the streets for many years during my active addiction. Now that I'm clean, making music is a big part of my recovery.

ProblemAddict Language

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