𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

What if you're forgotten?
Sometimes I wonder how many people from my past still think about me.
I mean, there must be a reason why we stopped talking so why would they remember me?
Or continue to think of me fondly?
I guess if thing didn't end badly,
Why can't I be a good memory?
I am not sure what happens when someone starts to fade
from your memory but I'd like to think I still take up space,
Somewhere in the minds of the ones who were once so special to me
But assuming I'm no longer a memory,
I often think to myself
What happens when I'm forgotten?
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 : 

Good times we shared
( Disappear )
What happens if they moves so quickly like I was just a ghost?
Remember me?
I hope you don't forget about me.
Just to be a spot that pops up ocassionally..
___________________________
I'm thinking of you again.
Wherever I go I'm reminded of the times we spent together.
I miss your light.
Everything is dark without you like a moonless night.
I still hear your whispers in the wind.
I hope I never lose those memories of you and me.
I wish you were still here with me.
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

Do you ever want to just disappear ?
I do.
Sometimes the idea of fading away sounds great.
When you feel so small,
like all the walls are caving in and all that 
overwhelming feeling is pressing down on you.
Because everyone wants a piece of you, and sometimes..
You wish they could just forget you.
________________________________________________________________________________________

i want to be on your mind.

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

I've never felt more alone.
This pain I feel not just in my heart but deep down in my bones.
All I wanted is for you to see me,
Acknowledge me,
Act like you used to love me.
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲(𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁) : 

Do you ever get stuck in your reminiscing?
Get swept away in missing someone
Because on little thing reminded you of 
Them.
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

Do you find yourself floating back to those moments 
when you  could never imagine that door to them ever being closed?
When unexpected memories creep in and mess up your thinking
How quickly you find yourself right back in your feelings?
Dreaming.
Of what was then.
Isn't now.
And will never be.
Again.
________________________________________________________________________________________

do you ever get stuck in your reminiscing?

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

I'm tired of trying.
Tired of crying.
Tired of the lying
The confining hold I feel with you.
With us.
This us isn't us.
What's happened to the love,the lust,the trust?
It's broken.
Gone
(you)
(us)
(you)
(gone) 
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲(𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁) : 

Feeling crazed has now filled the space
Where once was a sweet life together
A time where there was always haste
To love.
(Vanished)
(It is all gone)
(All I wanna do is fall)
Fall back in love with you but you're too far 
Gone.
(Gone)
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

So instead I fall back.
Away from you.
Too far too come back, I must look ahead
And get back on the right track,
This love for you that I lack,
I hope it hasn't left my heart with a permanent..
Crack.
________________________________________________________________________________________

i'm falling back (i need us).

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

"Yo ,sorry I missed your call ,leave a message and I'll hit you back"
I think I want to give you my heart.
But if I give you my heart can I trust you with it?
Will you hold on to it and care for it?
Will you treasure it?
Will you add more love to it instead of taking love away?
Ugh ,I should hang up what am I doing...
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲(𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁) : 

If I give you my heart,
What are your plans with it?
Will you bring more joy to it and more last to it?
Will you be honest with it?
Only hold it in your hand while you have compassion for it
If I give you my heart,
Will you help me grow?
Will you push me to be the person that I don't yet know?
Will you never let me settle so that I'm always getting better?
Can you get there with me?
(May I give it to you and not regret the decision that I've made?)
So I hope that in return for my heart,
You'll give me yours,
And we can hold to our hearts together for as long as we want
Maybe not forever, but however long it is,
It's a time that I promise to treasure.
So this is me..

________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

Giving you my heart
May I give it to you and not regret the decision that I've made?
Giving you my heart
May I give it to you and not regret the decision that I've made?
________________________________________________________________________________________

i want to give you my heart.

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

(Butterflies)
I never really felt them before I met you.
I'd been nervous and anxious before ,but this time was different.
I felt the stir in my stomach and in my heart.
Just thinking of you made me smile and something tingled down my spine.
The butterflies inside would fly because I knew I had you by my side.
This was the first moment I felt this and from that moment on...
________________________________________________________________________________

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

What If I fail?
What If I don't get it?
What If it all goes wrong?
But what if you flip it?
What if it all works out for you, instead?
Seriously ,all the dreams you've dreamed.(Butterflies)
Everything you said you've wanted out of life.
What If you actually can have it all?
Isn't that a nice thought?
So why is it so hard for us to accept?
Why do we instinctively go toward the negatives instead?
Because we're afraid.(Butterflies)
Some people think you can't loose if you don't try but
That's no way to live a life.
Some people are afraid of failure.
But too many people are afraid of succes.
What if it all works out?
Will I have to become a different person?(Butterflies)
Will I like that new person?
Can I sustain it for the long run?
You never know until you're there.
And you'll never get there if you're too scared.

________________________________________________________________________________________

butterflies.

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

It's hard not to have high expectations playing out different scenarios in your head.
Will this person like me?
Will I be funny?
Do I look pretty enough?
Will I be witty enough?
Can I keep the conversation going and flowing?
All these questions pop up in my head before we even officially met.
Is it just me or are you thinking the same thing?
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲(𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁) : 

How long have I been single?
What do I do for fun?
What movies do I like?
Do I like keeping to myself?
Am I seeing anyone else?
What kind of food makes my mouth melt?
Where'd I grow up?
What's the best feeling I've felt?
Favorite color or book?
Favorite song?
(Favorite song?)
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

Choose the person who matches your given affection for whom you truly feel sparks.
Even if you didn't feel them right from the start.
Your love can grow over time and before you know it..
Now..They have your heart.
________________________________________________________________________________________

do you fall in love?

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

I'm fine.
You know, I've lost track of many times someone asked me how I'm doing and
instead of always telling the truth when things could be better,
When things really aren't going my way,
I just lie and say
I'm fine.
(I'm fine)
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲(𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁) : 

Especially if they're just passing by and being polite,
during those moment I'll just smile because they weren't going to stop anyway.
They really didn't care about my day.
It's just a nice thing to say.
"How are you?"
I'm fine.
(I'm fine)
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

Even when some days seem so long,
Everything is going wrong,
I just wanna lay down and pull the covers over my head and just
Disappear.
(Disappear)
(Disappear)
________________________________________________________________________________________

how are you?

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

The mexican government confiscates approximately 30,000 illegal
firearms per year. When the guns are taken, they get dismantled and the metal is used to make other types of weapons to later be utilized by their military. In 2012, Pedro Reyes, an artist from Mexico City convinced his government to donate the guns to him.
And he turned them into musical instruments.
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲(𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁) : 

All made out of things that used to take people's lives and now,
they create a sound that puts life back into people's bodies.
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

Once I came across a strange looking picture of a violin.
The caption says that it was made out of a rifle.
And I thought to myself, you know.
Someday that could be me..
________________________________________________________________________________________

we are guns.

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

I want to write a poem.
But I wanted to say what you are thinking.
I want to patch up the holes when your boat starts sinking.
I want to write that one of a kind poem,
that free your mind poem, that I like how you made that rhyme poem,
that I like that last line poem.
That can I hear that one more time that is if you don't mind,
poem. 
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲(𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁) : 

I want to write a poem so beautiful that my parents might actually start to agree.
I want to write about you, about me , about us, about everything from cars and trains to riding the bus ,betrayal and trust mistakes and heartaches.
I want to talk about when I first learned to drive and I was so scared to let my foot off the the break. 
I want to talk about  battles about wars about victories and loses ,
about ethnic cleansing ,genocide and loans penetrated by burning crosses and burnt down churches.
I want to write two poems for everyone who's ever been told they were worthless.
________________________________________________________________________________________

i want to write a poem.

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

It's weird not talking to you all the time anymore.
And every time I tell myself:
"I don't mind anymore and
I'm not crying anymore"
Someone who doesn't know always asks about you to see if you're fine, 
how you are , then I'm reminded of course and I'm forced ..
(you're not mine)
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲(𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁) : 

Then all the feeling start come back and you're on my mind like before.
Like, I said I wasn't going to try anymore, but I start to miss and 
reminisce all the time we the door.
Start to think of ways to get you back and want to try it some more.
Feeling sick cause I don't have you, and you being minded secure.
You have a future I have I future.
Mine is with yours.
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

Relationships.
Sometimes I want to make them quick.
I promise, I'm being honest.
Because the beginning is winning .
But the ending aches a bit.
It's like they wear a disguise till you realize
they ain't shit.
You know what ,hey , that's it.
________________________________________________________________________________________

untitled.

𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

When they romanticize suicide, and they tell you
that those of us who are brave enough to take
our own lives will leave you notes.
Our bodies be the note.
A message in sick calligraphy,
written in the lines of our wrists and throats 
all saying the same thing.
"I was brave enough to do it  this time."
To those of us who are brave enough to take
their own lives or at least have come close ,
knows the courage to just 
fucking end it.
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗴𝗲(𝗠𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁) : 

Months in daydreams and night terrors teetering on the line of fantasy.
Some sadistic obsession of all the ways that it could happen and I know,
I know you all think the thing that keeps us of from offing ourselvs are your : 
"just hang in there" cat memes "and you can do it" but really,
It's the fear.
Of waking up.
________________________________________________________________________________________

𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗼 :

I was brave enough to do it this time.
________________________________________________________________________________________

i wrote a note while making this song.

Youtube : https://www.youtube.com/@h33mm
Instagram : prodbyh33m
Mail : h33mmmm@gmail.com

how are you?

h33m

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