Obituary of a mortal sinner

A lost kid, has no direction 
So I’ll put in words
For your inspection 
Its a lesson second guessing 
with a sinner 
Can’t deliver 
Return to sender 

Diagnose take a dose to ease the pain
Keep my brain stable and my blood pressure contained 
One liner save us not make us contemplate 
bipolar sin wave
On my way to set the record straight 

Save me baby
Asking for forgiveness for dismissing your concern 
Save me baby 
Don’t deserve it but I’ll earn it
Learn what I never heard

Save me baby
Asking for forgiveness for dismissing your concern 
Save me baby 
PTSD been testing me
But it’s hard to discern

We were only 17 
I wish I was a dream 
But the problem it seems 
Was never really you it was me 
Chasing unmeaningful highs 
To lead me to my demise 
Won’t rise up to the occasion 
Wishing it was just a dream 

Straighten up can’t make 
A story as good as this 
Exist in constant sorrow 
So borrow some Klonopin 
Stay numb 
Won’t love 
Stuck reliving a never ending nightmare 
The answers right there
But you don’t like it and I don’t care

Diagnose take a dose to ease the pain
Keep my brain stable and my blood pressure contained 
One liner save us not make us contemplate 
bipolar sin wave
On my way to set the record straight 

Save me baby
Asking for forgiveness for dismissing your concern 
Save me baby 
Don’t deserve it but I’ll earn it
Learn what I never heard

Save me baby
Asking for forgiveness for dismissing your concern 
Save me baby 
PTSD been testing me
But it’s hard to discern

origin

Hide my face behind a mask of her disguise 
Suicide in my eyes 
I’ll end my life tonight 

See it through cigarette smoke 
No I won’t stop till I choke 
No I got nowhere to go 
cut me down to the bone
See it through cigarette smoke 
No I won’t stop till I choke 
No I got nowhere to go 
cut me down to the bone 

misinterpretation of perception 
But only when I’m wasted 
Wasted can’t face it
The consequences of my making 

Take me back to my basement headspace 
Serotonin syndrome 
Caused my mental state  
Take me back to my basement headspace 
Serotonin syndrome 
Caused my mental state  
Take me back to my basement headspace 

Take me back to my basement headspace 
Serotonin syndrome 
Caused my mental state  
Serotonin syndrome 
Caused my mental state

Serotonin Syndrome

Why’d you hit me up after 6 months
It’s been half a year and you’re half drunk 
Hates a strong word 
But too late to take back
So let me lay back
And fall into your trap 

Why’d you hit me up after 6 months 
Now I’m just 
Thinking about us while I’m fucked up 
inconclusive autopsy 
Ativan daydreams 
I fell in love with the wrong one 

Still feels like yesterday 
Same pain 
I can’t maintain 
A level state of mind 
Haven’t felt it since 2009 

But at the same time 
Can’t be bothered to wait in line 
Never gonna make my wrongs right 
So why try

Locked up stuck in inpatient
Doctor we have a problem 
I can’t feel my face and my vision is going dark 

Said that we could be something someday 
But baby don’t make me wait long 
Cardiac attack in your trap 
Think of that  then relapse 
Where’s the map to my graveyard

Why’d you hit me up after 6 months 
Now I’m just 
Thinking about us while I’m fucked up 
inconclusive autopsy 
Ativan daydreams 
So let me lay back 
I fell in love with the wrong one

We got so high
Loosing my mind 
Love was so heated 
leave me oxygen deprived 
Sorry to make you cry 
I lost control of my life 
So let’s be seated 
Bout time that we concede it

Controlled Chaos

Another battle lost but the war isn’t over 
Won’t let it end until we’re dead or I get closure 
Integral parts of exposure 
Intrusive thoughts taking over 

Delusions of grandeur
Don’t know what they stand for 
Land of the surface 
Of a planet I never heard of before 
When can we be sure 
It won’t end the same 
But it hurts to much to ignore 

Numb 
To the drugs 
Bloodstream full of toxic matter so are my lungs cause 
When I felt a new touch 
I tried to discuss
But temptation overwhelming 
Next thing I know I’m giving it up 

Double whammy when I decide to press my luck 
The price is right but what’s the cost of love 
Can you point me in the right direction 
To form a connection 
Is that so much to want

Sooo when I lie
Don’t put flowers on my grave when im filled with formaldehyde 
Sooo when I die
Don’t remove the noose from my neck 
Call that mental homicide 

We’ll just work till we’re dead 
Anything less would be an insult to the system 
Think of all the things you left unsaid 
does it matter once the obituarys written
Now you want to act grief stricken 
But how many times did I relive it 
We can only try so many times before I have to move on 
I can’t move on I’m trippin

Trippin

Writing another tribute to the one that got away
Is it too late to say
I never meant it that way

Kinda regret what did yesterday 
10 shots the rest is fate 
Cure my restless mental state 

How fast will will I crash
When I blast off the launch pad
Smoke up on my stash 
To relax 
Pop a Xanax 

Don’t know where I’ll land next 
Charge it to an Amex 
Look at all I manifested 
Setting a new precedent 

Turns out the more I get the more I want 
Take about a half a fraction 
Roll it in a blunt 
When I die, remember what I did not what I was
Because I wasn’t enough 
To be the one you’d ever love 

Send my message to a higher power 
To a god I don’t believe in 
Lay and wait for a brighter hour
Too bad we won’t remember it 

But do you remember the night you gave me that cool scar
Hate to say it but we made it all too far 
Been searching but don’t know where you are 
So starting to think 
This is why we fell apart

Good Question

I can’t seem to cut myself off, even when I know I’ve had too much
When I know I’ve had enough 
Find out I’m out of touch

Need the drugs to keep me sober
At least that’s what I think until I keel over 
Serinely reminds us of the things we love
We love them but we’re out of touch 

Told our thoughts are relevant and our existence matters 
But given the choice between love and hate we always choose the latter 
So I sit inside and analyze rhymes 
To express what’s going through my twisted mind
In the middle of the night 
When I’m wide awake 
And zombified 

Suicidal ideation puts me through hell and back 
We’ve been through hell and back 
Just looking for the answer
Counselor please 
I think I got a disease
The devil renewed his lease 
So I’m going through hell and back

Died on a cross left side of a false god
Pick a number how many names can I list off
Fucked over so I’m living life pissed off
On the edge of a cliff trynna jump 
 Off my meds im dangerous 
So watch me do a line
Then cut myself open and show yall what’s really inside of a sinners mind 
Contentents id really rather not describe 
Really id rather hide inside of a time machine 
With my own greed 
Learning life’s a lie


Going through hell and back
Exhausting options to caution 
My fuckin note pad
Hell and back 
Derive a new side to the drive taken at midnight 
Night sight clouded by broken streetlights

hell and back

The Consequential Promise

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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/prodigal_sinner?igsh=M2ZndnJ4ZzRjMmQ4&utm_source=qr

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