This is the story about a girl named Ashley
Who blew me off for prom
'Cause she had dinner with her mom

I rented a limo
Yeah, I rented a fucking limo
That chick didn't show up
Because she went to the dance with Chad

I'm $500 in debt now
Ashley, please help me and my dad out
Because we can't afford rent
Let alone the limo

I sat there in the rain
My corsage fell off
Harder than I fell for you
But now I feel used
Don't you have anything to say for yourself?
I couldn't afford this suit

My dad's gonna kill me
'Cause I used his money

I'm $500 in debt now
Ashley, please help me and my dad out
Because we can't afford rent
Let alone the limo

I hate that jackass, Chad
He stole my girl
That man is really really bad
He treats her well
But I can treat her better
Yeah I can treat her better
I can treat you better, Ashley

I'm $500 in debt now
Ashley, please help me and my dad out
Because we can't afford rent
Let alone the limo

$500 down the drain
Wasted on some broad dame
Now I'll never try to love again
This is the absolute end
Goodnight, Ashley
Fuck you, Chad

Psycho Squint