RELATIONSHIPS

TO A BLIND FRIEND
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala


She's not important anymore:
Things didn’t go the way that she foresaw-
See her lying on the floor
Couldn't hurt her more…

Words can't tell you how she feels…
She caught the wrong end of your deals-
You only need her for your thrills 
And feels…


TO A BLIND FRIEND

ALMOST "49": AN APOLOGY

© CYRUS DALI VESUVALA

You dropped them in their tracks,
Hit them harder than an axe,
Now I realize you did that without tryin'…
It was far, far too late
To save the fallen 48,
But I could stop becomin' "49" 
(Oh, I’d hate to be your number "49"…)

Saw them fallin’ to the floor,
Saw them comin'back for more,
Then I saw them come and stab you from behind-
Saw the hatred in their eyes,
But it made me realize
If I warned you, I’d be branded "49" !
(So the Man in the Moon turned blind…)

I never heard you weepin’
And I never heard you cryin’
Lord knows I never guessed just how low you were flyin’
Now I see you’re hurt as bad as all those people that you had,
And I’d only hurt you more as "49"…
(And I couldn’t bear to be so unkind…)


ALMOST "49": AN APOLOGY

PARTING SONG
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala


Why is it that I must always end the things I start?
And why am I the only one who takes these things to heart?
And why is it that you don’t feel a part of what I feel?
And can you tell me if my hurt is real?


Why is it I always give much more than I intend?
And why am I the one who always gets hurt in the end?
And why is it that I’m the one who must apologize?
Why is there no sadness in your eyes?
…Baby, why is there no sadness in your eyes?


(* Blues Harp track courtesy Soddy Bottoms)

PARTING SONG

TWO DAY HIGH
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala


Met only yesterday, unsettled the train:
Two-Day-High, hope we’re meeting again…
Dylan and Cohen and Bobby McGee,
Two-Day-High, you sure were like me.
I didn’t ask for you to come my way,
I’m asking you now, Two-Day-High, will you stay?
And, if you don’t want me, then don’t tell me why-
Just help me get rid of my Two-Day-High.


TWO-DAY-HIGH

PAGES
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala

Is your mind an open book,
Can they look inside your head?
Do you only still show pages you want read?

What do you tell them when the Horror
Leaves you chilled and drenched in bed?
Are you still oppressed by dreams in Black and Red?

Have you found the man who’s shown you
How to overcome your dread-
Shown you how to pluck those pictures from your head?

Though you didn’t want to show me,
Yet, nights you shivered in my bed-
That’s when I had my first glimpse inside your head,

And now we’re both oppressed by dreams in Black and Red:
Yet, I just can’t tear your pages from my head…


PAGES

This one was written early one December morning, in a freezing cold train compartment, on my way home from College, during one of the winter breaks. 
Those were the days when, like most other students I knew, I generally travelled by what was politely called 2nd Class 3-tier, which basically meant the bogey was unheated and the bunk beds were 3-tiered wooden planks without any cushioning. 
It was a 24 hour journey in those days, and less than comfortable, but, as I recall, it was more than just the hard bunk bed and freezing temperatures inside that compartment that had kept me up this particular night.... 


CHRISTMAS MORNING
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala

Train is slow,
Day is dawning-
Feeling low,
Can't stop yawning-
Four o'clock,
And I'm still up:
Christmas morning…


Dark ringed eyes,
Didn’t sleep now-
Quick good-byes,
I could weep now-
God, it's cold!
And I'm told
It's Christmas morning…


CHRISTMAS MORNING

NOVEMBER ’57 – MARCH ’80
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala

She has a cancer in her brain,
And it’s driving her insane
Slowly, day by day by day by day by day by day... she says…

She tells me that she’s dying:
She has this cancer in her mind
Which her doctors cannot find…

She has no eyes, no tears to weep:
Her cancers run too deep-
She’s so tired, she cannot sleep…

She told me she was dying:
She had this cancer in her mind 
That her doctors could not find…


NOVEMBER '57 TO MARCH '80

BEST OF FRIENDS
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala


We were lying in the grass,
We were talking of the past,
And I told you of my dad’s old steel rimmed glasses-
Then, you told me of the man 
With another in his hand,
And you couldn’t believe that he was making passes…


Then, you spoke to me of touch 
And you said it meant so much
To be touched when you are down or just plain lonely-
Now could that be the spark
Made you hold me in the dark-
Though you said you really loved your one and only…

Still, we’re the best of friends
And our friendship never ends,
It just grows deeper, though the river has its bends-
And, though I know
That you are another man’s,
Still, I thank the Lord that we’re the best of friends…

Side by side upon a plank,
Novice holding up the bank-
You’re like a stone, for reasons that you do not mention-
When you say you’d like to go,
I say: I’d really like to know:
Is it sleep, are you unsure of my intention?

A bit of both, you guess,
So I say: Well, thanks for being honest;
I’d like to see you once again before you go-
And, when you smile again
Oh, I am a happy man,
Though, now, that seems so very long ago…

Still, we’re the best of friends,
And our friendship never ends,
It just grows deeper, though the river has its bends-
And, though I know
That you are another man’s,
Still, I thank the Lord that we’re the best of friends…

TRANSLUCENT EARS

IF YOU SEE KAY (A CHESSBERG)
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala

Our Tukid has ridden a Chessberg away
On a grammical Aziph turned down-
Your Chessberg’s an iceberg, the Queen tried to say,
But iceberg’s a nice burg to hang round!


The King has turned blind, disappointment and spite,
The tip of the iceberg and money;
The Queen’s awake, worried about mating all knight
On a diet of bread without Honey


So, if you see Kay, if you see our Kay,
If you see our Tukay-Tukid,
Tell her the Queen has abandoned the scene
Of the Save-our-King-from-himself bid!


Our Tukid’s a King, playing limited moves
On a board dominated by nights-
The Queen has been beating out timid tattoos,
Unheard, since she’s lost all her rights…


So, the King takes his ice and the Queen takes her song
To their separate beds every night,
Each trying to say, oh, if you see Kay,
I’m really feeling all right!

I’m feeling all right,
The feeling’s all right,
The Queen is all right,
The Queen was I…
I’m feeling all right…


IF YOU SEE KAY (A CHESSBERG)

ANDROMEDA
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala

Andromeda- should have freed her, 
But things were left unsaid; 
Cinderella- how could I tell her 
That she was just misled, 
And this love of ours was only in her head... 

I don't love you like a brother, 
I don't want you for a friend; 
May not love you like the others, 
I may not love you till the end; 
I'm not looking for a lover, 
Don't need broken hearts to mend... 

Andromeda- should have freed her, 
But things were left unsaid; 
Cinderella- how could I tell her 
That she was just misled, 
And this love of ours was only in her head... 



ANDROMEDA

ORPHANELL ON A RAINY DAY
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala


Orphanell, on a rainy day,
On an afternoon in June-
Though you wish your man would stay
You know that’s crying for the moon-
But, through your silent teacup storms,
Through lonely days like these,
Oh, Orphanell, I share your stormy seas…


Orphanell, you have a friend:
You have a saving grace-
Through afternoons without an end,
In such a lonely place-
Because, one rainy afternoon,
Beneath dark loaded skies,
Did you unload the sadness in your eyes...

And now, I realise
That the reason's not the heat and dust and flies
Because, one rainy afternoon,
Beneath dark loaded skies,
Did you unload the sadness in your eyes...


So, Orphanell, on a rainy day,
On an afternoon in June…


ORPHANELL, ON A RAINY DAY

THINGS YOU SAY
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala


Oh , I knew you wouldn’t go without a whisper,
And I knew you wouldn’t go without a scene-
A love that was burning out, not turning crisper:
A love that might as well have never been…


Oh, you bore me to the seams
With your sorrows and your dreams,
And the tales of things you gave up just for me-
You tell me when I came,
That I was bound in mental chains,
But you never really tried to set me free!
(And I'm going…)


You say it hurts so much
For you to speak about your past,
And then you tell me of the many things you've lost-
You tell me when I came
That I was blind and I was lame,
But you gave me sight and freedom at what cost!
(And I'm gone…)

THINGS YOU SAY

DO I STAY AND SAY I’M SORRY
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala

Would it help, my saying I’m sorry?
Would you believe it if I said
That I never meant to hurt you,
And I’m sorry that I did?
You were never meant to find out,
You were never meant to know,
So, do I stay and say  I’m sorry,
Or do I simply go?

What hurt you most was not the fact
That even angels lie:
A thing like that you maybe could
Get used to, by and by-
But what hurt you worse was not being first,
But merely being one more,
So, do I stay and say I’m sorry,
Or do I simply go?


DO I STAY AND SAY I'M SORRY?

FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala

Let it happen once before,
It will not happen any more
Did you really think that I was such a bore?
My heart wasn’t yours to take,
You see, it's really for my sake
That I must not let it happen any more-Was it so hard to understand?
All I asked for was a friend
And nothing more…

Writin’ letters, makin’ plans,
Was I boy, or was I man?
Now I wish the sea would roll onto the sand…
For, if a lesson's to be learnt,
This boy just got his fingers burnt-
But he'll forget you if he must, and if he can-
For he'd rather be alone,
Than risk you spit upon
His outstretched hand…

(Interlude)

Writin’ letters, makin’ plans,
Was I boy, or was I man?
Now I wish the sea would roll onto the sand…
For, if a lesson's to be learnt,
This boy just got his fingers burnt-
But he'll forget you if he must, and if he can-
For he'd rather be alone,
Than risk you spit upon
His outstretched hand…


FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE

WINTER SPORT ’81    (MIXED DOUBLES)

Don’t you fall in love with me
However flattering that might be
I know it is not what you are looking for
Experiences dead, have blown dreams out of your head
And like a drowning man, you’re clutching at a straw…

So, you use your education 
To summon every ounce of tact
Does your new pre-occupation bring you joy?
Am I pleasant artifiction, or just some mental artifact?
Do you want a man, do you need a boy?

Are you looking for a father
Are you looking for a son
Do you want to just re-live a love you’ve lost?
Are you looking for a lover
Who could just be anyone
Who pays the cost
WHO pays the cost?

And you use your education 
To summon every ounce of tact
Does your new pre-occupation bring you joy?
Am I pleasant artifiction, or just a mental artifact
Do you want a man, do you need a boy?

Don’t you fall in love with me
However flattering that might be
I know it is not what you are looking for…

WINTER SPORT '81 (MIXED DOUBLES)

HOLDING HANDS
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala

Boulder,
Head on my shoulder,
And, though you’re turning colder,
Yet we still keep holding hands…

Softly,
Kid, are you scared of me?
Know you cannot love me,
But could we still keep holding hands?

I had you April,
And May was too long…
Another man’s girl,
Another man’s song…


HOLDING HANDS

FADED BLUE JEANS (UNION JACK MAIDEN)

Union Jack Maiden,
Have your jeans now started fadin’-
Are they fadin’?
Colors and hues:
Are they still the same old blues-
Are those jadin’?
Does your heart feel just the same-
Are we playin’ the same game-
Are we playin’?

Am I the lover you just lost-
Am I the lover you just almost never found?
Now is this love,
Or is it lust? Can you walk away
And never turn around?
Well, you’ve got me turned to prayer,
Are we goin’ anywhere,
Can you tell me where we’re bound?

Union Jack Maiden,
Now you know my jeans are fadin’-
Yes, they’re fading…
Now, you must choose:
Are your yellows turning blues-
Will you trade in?
Do you remember, on that night,
You asked if I was alright,
‘Cause I was shakin’…



FADED BLUE JEANS (UNION JACK MAIDEN)

ONLY IN THE NIGHT
© Cyrus Dali Vesuvala

I know there’s things you cannot tell me in the evening,
When the shadows lengthen, chasing out the light:
And for the trembling to be quelled,
My baby must be held,
Still, I wish you didn’t just need me in the night…

And, when the morning sun has chased your nightmares all away,
And has put an end to your nocturnal flight,
Fortified by light,
You don’t need me in your sight:
Oh, babe, how come you only need me in the night?

So, baby, baby, hold me through this morning,
And Tiny, won’t you stay until twilight?
Please don’t go away,
If I don’t make it through the day
Oh baby, how're you gonna make it through the night?

Through the night…
Please don’t go away,
If I don’t make it through the day
Oh baby, how’re you gonna make it through the night?


ONLY IN THE NIGHT

Performed using only a Yamaha Clavinova CVP 405 keyboard: no guitar...

FADED BLUE JEANS (Instrumental Version - Nov 2011)

A singer-songwriter, with over four decades of songwriting experience, currently based in Gurugram, India 

RELATIONSHIPS

Psyve