this is not my best but it was fun :) i might remake this soon.
lyrics written by me and inspired by will stetsons version in some spots!!

people talking all about 'my' life
people talking about "someones" life
every now and then and now and again
i guess that they make the right judgements
the sun shines again but its so dreary
heavy feelings, i succumb to being
the only thing i rely on is the rain
How do i survive the thundering?

even love and hate slowly fall away
even love and hate slowly fall away
how do you manage to take what you say
and continuing smiling anyway
all the words you said were really vague
all the words you said were really vague
due to your vague and hazy ways
the trust i had in you seems to decay
collecting all the scraps of dreams that never came
hey, wait, hey wait
seems it all was my mistake

ah
"now and then"
"now and then"
"ive stumbled into the"
"its cold x5
so cold so cold
you push me away again
ah
seems your voice
seems your voice
is drowned by all the noise
so far far far far
so far far far far
so far far far
please dont hurt me anymore
however important i am i dont care
as long as you can find me there somewhere

i held all the promises really tight
i held all the promises really tight
all of the mistakes that ive made tonight
if only i could swallow them and die
even love and hate slowly fall away
even love and hate slowly fall away
how do you manage to take what you say
and continuing smiling anyway
two small little flowers that have begun to bloom
its true, its true
there was nothing left to do

ahhh distant dreams they all seemed
to run away from me
away away away away away
i try to catch up but i
cant throwing these childish dreams and leaving them behind
anger and rage and rage and rage
is there no forgiveness left?

ah, still i hoped every wish
would somehow still come true
it wont it wont it wont it wont it wont
dont come any closer
just, on repeat, to the beat, speak the words you used to
its cold its cold
so cold so cold

im begging you for mercy
however important i am i dont care
as long as you can find me there somewhere

Girl A | vocaloid english cover | siinamota

you cant be what i want
thats what you said
i think instead, that ill stay inside your head
dont you feel the dread?
dont you feel the dread?

cant be what i want -- youre feeling guilty
guilt just means knowing that youre not showing
showing what you could be, is that really crazy?
no i dont think so! but what do i know!
i want things to work out
even though they never will
can you keep me around
will you think of me still

you cant be what i want
thats what you said
i think instead, that ill stay inside your head
even though your not mine
i find i cry
in the middle of the night, even though we'd never fight

my unsaid words to you, that i wish youd never leave
that i wish you could love me, and its okay that you dont
if you loved me then you would, and you couldnt and you wont
but just please do not pretend; know you love me as a friend
wish i had you in my arms, wish i kissed you even more
wish i told you that i loved you, on the night before you swore
swore that we were over, and now youre all but gone
i dont think that youll hear this, you'll never hear this song

guilt (prod. greyrock, chemical)

painting a picture with words
is a lot harder than i really thought at first
tried to paint you a building
and write you a verse

but my verses are cursed and my wishes are misses
i wish that id kissed ya a few more times before you were gone
i still dont even know how ive managed holding on

painting a picture in verse
dirt in my shoes, thrown at you
when i kicked up the gravel
i still have my heart that is yet to unravel
from feeling your abscence you could call it a travesty

but i'm not an artist
i think you finally see
it wasnt meant for me
and it wasnt meant to be

painting a picture with words
i hope that all of these canvas burn
i wish that id kissed ya a few more times before you were gone
i still dont even know how ive managed holding on

painting a picture - prod.Basiljet

broke! prod.pelonn

PUPSIES ON DA TRACK W THE EMO ASS ANIME MONOLOGUE AND THE SHITTY SYNTHS!!!!!

just something i did in like 15 minutes for fun

FIRST DATE OF MY LIFE!!! (prod. taymxru)

idkf this is some shitpost its not srs 

p.s.a your apologies will never be enough and have never been

AJR GLAIVE MOMENT forgot the prod

i wanna be your girlfriend!! (taymxru)

im a pathetic little boy who doesnt know how to make beats

if u use this in any way pls credit and @ me i wanna see ok

weird spacey gross beat type beat

i produced this, drums r thanks to @prod-lustri

this body cannot be mine
this body cannot be mine 

my hands, my chest and my face
my arms my legs and my waist
everythibng just feel misplaced
i dont belong in this place

i dont belong in this space
the space between u and i
i think that id rather cry
this body cannot be mine.

this body cannot be mine. (pupsies + lustri)

ts ass but i made it anyways so yeah. consider it a demo

everybodys better than meeeee
everybodys better than meeeee

no matter what i do
itll never beeeeeeeeeeee
enough for you
enough for meeeee.....

everybodys better than meeeee
everybodys better than meeeee
everybodys better than meeeee
everybodys better than meeeee

everybody's better than me (prod. maybe)

you're just a boy, you are no man.
and NOBODY you know will understand.

things to do alex g cover sped up

this body cannot be mine (REMIX v2)

idk but yea im sorry i still dont know how to not clip the mic or how to mix for indie

annoying ass prod tag icl

youuuu dontttt seeee meee the sameeeee
as her
and
i dont careeeeeee but id sayyy
maybe this wont work
but i needd youuuu here everydayyyyy
i dont wanna be alone
and i neeeddd you hereee what can i say
i dont wanna be alone

her.

idk i cant mix for this this my frist try mixing for this dguys

YOU WANT MY LOVE. prod. clvr

this is NOT my genre. HTIS IS A SHITPOST!!!

do u think if i play my cards right
baby
do u think that i can see u tonight?
maybe
we could make things work
i dont wanna jump the gun
fuckin braincells gone to shit
like i dont even know
said we gna die by 20
so we keep it on the low
i love u like a dog
love u like im gna die
when i see u in the grave
boy dont make me say goodbye

all i ever wanted was ur fuckin love
wrote a suicide note let me know when u fuckin go
got the gun right up ur throat
and it hurts to watch u choke
least let  me hold ur hand
let me know 'for u go

gotta play ur cards right
gotta turn a new deck
got a knife to ur neck
dont do shit that ull regret

playin games with my heart
since u wanna see my cry
cus u hate urself so much
u cant even see why

gotta play ur cards right
gotta turn a new deck
got a knife to ur neck
dont do shit that ull regret

gotta play ur cards right
gotta turn a new deck
got a knife to ur neck
dont do shit that ull regret

since the small ass age o 12
u was fucked up from the start
and it wasnt ur fault
but the streets aint got heart

so u aint got any time
and u aint gnna go far
u dont have to reach te finish line, just running is enough
so u call it as it is, and i know that its real tough
but u gotta tough it out cus the love is all ur luck

and i love u like a dog
cus i know ur gna die
when i see u in the grave
boy dont make me say goodbye

goodbye (prod. prodvices)

forgot where i put the lyrics but u can hear them...

invisible (forgor the producer omg help me)

another day, im throwing hands
throwing bands but nothin stands
in the sand
something new
something gold
and you could do
show the way
lead the blind
so i got shit in my eye?
yea u wanna make me cry
tell me how im gonna die
with a gun right up my throat
take some pills and overdose
no one has to know
tell me where we fuckin go
just cus god dont answer
dont mean he isnt there
whatever higher power
show her in her final hour

now her glasses fogged
her breath is fuckin hot
spit runnin down her mouth
didnt want it to go south

so her moms in the room
screams 'whatd you fuckin do'
the bathroom floor is cold
and everybody knows

i dint wanna die
i didnt wanna see
i didnt wanna know
didnt wanna be me

i didnt wanna die
but here i fuckin am
and now im throwing up
bury me in the sand

so u can hold my hand
watch me as i move on
im sorry, love you mom
know that, even when im gone

so yo ucan hold my hand
i dont wanna be alone
tell me that you love me
so i know before i go

letter to my mother (prod.vinogradov)

i guess that it's just my own small problem
making everything about me when i know its
not
so i need to stop
but it hurts sm
why cant u be there when im hurting need ur touch
cus i need youuu
and i need tooo
know you love me
when im feeling
blueeeee
baby what do i 
dooooo
oohh

so i internalize
every moment we're not talking
its like suicide
blind myself then try to walk and
you make me wanna die
but i know its my fault
don't know really know how i get so frusturated at all
why cant u be there when im hurting need ur touch
cus i need youuu
and i need tooo
know you love me
when im feeling
blueeeee
baby what do i 
dooooo

internalized (t57thetank)

c^ (ocurie + xtasane)

f^ (ocurie + xtasane)

i know im not really okay
i need you to say that youll stay
i know im not really okay
i need you to say that youll stay

i take so many pills and come to the same conclusions
life is living life and you just gotta get through it
i dont know what to do, and i dont what im doin
but i know that i love you so dont leave me in this moment

dont leave me here to cry 
dont leave me here to die
i know you feel what i feel so i try to wear a smile
but even if i cant please hold on for a little while
just hold on a little while longer

if i loved me like i loved you, but love cant make me happy
i'm sorry that i'm sad so much, dont mean to make this sappy
but lets just stay strong for each other, maybe we'll take turns?
im trying to be better cus i dont want you to hurt

i know im not really okay
i need you to say that youll stay

oh...

conclusion (neverforever)

i told you i got a problem
i dont think you really know
it's not like you could really sovle em
like finding blood in the snow

you dont seem to understand me
i know that im talkign crazy
i know that its illogical and not really methodical but i cant get the thoughts out of my head

you talking to another girl
cus im all by myself and i
dont even think that i could pretend
im jealous but i love you so 
and nobody will ever know theyll never understand!

i told you i got a problem
i dont think you really know
its not like you could really solve em
like finding blood in the snow

would u wash all of my cuts dry
would you stand here and hold my hand
would u wash all of my cuts dry
even if you dont understand

i told you i got a problem
i dont think you really know
its not like you could really solve em
like finding blood in the snow

would u wash all of my cuts dry
would you stand here and hold my hand
would u wash all of my cuts dry
even if you dont understand

the flowers that bloom under the night sky
they remind me of living life
the way that you would really want to
but all the leaves and flowers die

i wanna be somethng more than
this unknown girl off of the stage
i wanna understand the winter
and feel the warmth of your gaze

you dont seem to understand me
i know that im talkign crazy
i know that im forgettable and my words arent remarkable but i dont know how i can make you see

do you really think you wanna see 
this really stupid side of me the
anger and the frusturation
and all the needy thigns that dont make sense

i need you by my side
or else i would rather die
I THNK ILL KILL MYSELF
cmon i need your help!

i told you i got a problem
i dont think you really know
its not like you could really solve em
like finding blood in the snow

would u wash all of my cuts dry
would you stand here and hold my hand
would u wash all of my cuts dry
even if you dont understand

i told you i got a problem
i dont think you really know
its not like you could really solve em
like finding blood in the snow

would u wash all of my cuts dry
would you stand here and hold my hand
would u wash all of my cuts dry
even if you dont understand

blood in the snow (prod. chibi)

the lows get lower
i cant go forward
from needed closure
lost my composure

emotions ride high
so id rahter die
if ill never have
you here by my side

i know i sound crazy
i know i sound stupid
but its just the truth its-
hard to deal with myself.

i know i sound crazy
but if i dont see you
dont know what to live for
no im not really sure

ALL THE THINGS IVE WAITED FOR
AND NOTHINGS HAPPENED
NO NOTHINGS HAPPENED
AND AATIING ON THIS DAMN UNIVERS
ENOTHINGS HAPPENED
NOTHIGNS HAPPENED
SO IM TRYING
TO MAKES THINGS LAST AND
heres the facts i 
need to keep trying
cus IF I DONT HAVE YOU BY MY SIDEEEEEE

id rahter die, you dont understand what its like to be me
im trying so hard but no one seems to fucking see
i dont know what to do, but i know that youre the one thing
ill be okay if youre here with me

universe (prod by yungspoiler x scrobaby)

I HATE GOD (prod. michael harrison x Daniel Hentschel)

guys respect all religions idc what u believe this js relfective of mine and other ppls personal epxeirence with spiriutality and other shit lol pls dont kill me 

ohhhh noooo
where am i supposed to go

the lows get lower
i cant go forward
i know its over
i'm nowhere closer

so all my goals are
just things i cant have
wont try hard enough
thats just the plain fact

and in my plain face
cant stand to look back
i wished for so much
theres so much i lack

having a good heart
wont get you nowhere
this world is just cruel
and nothing is fair

there are no handouts
im telling you now
you should go all out
go ahead and shout

don't sit there and beg
climb your way to god
and tell him 'fuck off'
dont care bout your cross

the weight of your sins
will never wash off

weight of your sins (prod. yungspoiler)

look now im back
back to where i started from
a heart attack
i need your love its not enough so
call me back
and tell me what yo need to know cus
life moves fast, and i dont got anywhere to go
i close my eyes
cus i cant stand to see you hurt yourself
i watch u cry
all the guilt thats left inside, cant help it
and if u died
might be to suicide
if you would ever try
but i need u alive .. so

lvie that lie
that u know by heart, go solo
cus i need u here
dont ever disappear
cus if you ever left
dont know what id have left

you give me fucking chills
i dont know wahty oull do
i dont know what youll say
"baby, whats wrobng with you?"
and so i close my eyes
and then i shut my mouth
put my hands on my ears
wanna dronwo ut the sound 
of youuuuuu
i dont know what 
i dont know what
to doooooo
i just need you
i just need you
to doooooo
what i need you 
what i need you
trhoughhh
all the pain and i just wanna see you

bojack sample (forgot the prod..)

idk wtf this is sum random bandlab shit i did outside lollll hear the rain? 😝😝
am i even alive? 
yall like thkse beat cuts chops wtv u call them??
(i constantly live going in and out of a hollow sense of self)

tired.m4a (16kibo)

yo am i jerk core (this da beat no vocals cus my voclas ASSS)(

am i jerkcore

(jerkcore??!?!?!?!!!!!! scnecor????) first ever attmept at making a jerk type similar tpe sortr of jerk not jerk type beat i sampeld flawerdmangoes bc thats awhat everyione does yayyyyyyy the vocals r ass bc uhhh i forgor how to mix :333 without my pwesets that i made >_< i forogrrr
i sped it up also... to make it more bearavble

sometimes i get too comfy when youre not around me
because i need you so much i feel like im dorwning


so when i go away
i wonder if youll stay
but i guess knowing that you wont's a different kind of pain

so when i go away
i wonder if youll stay
but i guess knowing that you wont's a different kind of pain

insane, i know i should just be happy but i cant
suddnel im thinking tha t youve got me in a trance
my heart stands up just to take the wrong stance
thinking that the push and pull is how were sposed to dance

i like the scary feeling thinkin that youll leave me
cus if its not there then am i in love, really?

i dont know whats wrong with my brain
i dont think im even sane
why do you love me even though i cause so many problems?

i know i cant calm down
please just tell me to shut up
i think that youve had enough
please just tell me to shut up

shut the fuck up (prod me the best jerkcore producver ever)

what happened here..... its almost like a kid got a hold of fl studio whose only made scenecore before......

alex g hope but something went terribly wrong

first """""""""""""""""""brakanece::::::::: beat...... from ur favowrite scenecore jerkcore producer

fuck jerkcsore and scenecore im gonndf be brakcore!!!

idk i like this song
aimkid did the thumbnail

jack stauber - spring cleaning (but u got it from the dollar store)

digicore cover of spring cleaning by jack stauber (from the dollar store)

extraterrestrial metaphysics (forgot the prod pls lmk if yk)

idk i made this cus i was bored and i wanted to fw the reverb vocal effect things

i know im a nobody
i know im a nobody
and noones gonna know nothing
now one even knows me
i know im a nobody 
how do you even get to know somebody?
im so sick of fighting
nd im so sick of trying
to make something 
out of nothing 
out of someone 
who dont know
anything,
im a nobodoy
and thats just 
how it goes
i know im a nobody
and im so sick of trying
to make something of my life and
i know that i cant
theyu say im fallin off
guess u do when u dont dance
like a puppet on a string
at least i had a chance
i know waht u know
its all just the same
all i feel is pain lol

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