Technical Support Monkey’s squirrel infestation continues, yet she and her dad still refuse to pay Zamo the low, low price of $600 to have Zamo’s frog slave Hoppy catch and remove the squirrel.

Chimpette is even so petty as to complain about how the price would have only been $500 two weeks ago, but she clearly has no understanding of how overhead such as Zamo’s administrative fees impact pricing.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

Subscribe on iTunes

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #205

It’s starting to get sunnier, but still remains cold, which Zamo interprets as a sign that the Sun God is still displeased with the local humans and Aztec-style sacrifices are in order to change that and bring on the heat.

Sadly, neither of the mayors Ig phones seem willing to listen to reason. Nor will Pierre incorporate an Aztec priest into his latest public art commission to show the locals how it’s done.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #206

Zamo spends St. Patrick’s Day heckling Technical Support Monkey as she watches some dumb chimp concert on YouTube that she keeps insisting isn’t Duran Duran.

Along the way, Zamo learns about the Breeding Season Orange Men of Ireland, who Iggy supposes will make for a back-up plan for marrying off Chimpette if she fails to homewreck a rich man monkey or if Zamo fails to sell her to Jeff from Ojai.

Furthermore, Zamo rebukes Chimpette for ‘playing the flute’ all around town.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #207

No show last week because the chimps needed shunning and nose-thwacking on account of the rain. Also because Technical Support Monkey refuses to borrow her brother’s AR-15 and shoot Ig a bear fur blanket because she’s lazy, just like her whole damn clan.

Unfortunately, Chimpette isn’t lazy when it comes to making annoying noise, and refuses to listen to Zamo’s suggestion to learn to play cello instead.

In other news, Mr. Hydell and Millie went to visit the ocean (or as Zamo calls it, the whales’ toilet) in Tofino, and Zamo’s snooping leads to the unfortunate discovery of the horrors of ‘naked yoga’ on YouTube.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #208

In light of the week’s rain, Zamo hassles the humans about what steps they’re taking to fix the weather. Unfortunately, the answer is not a damn thing.

Worse, Technical Support Monkey is caught red-handed working on some other podcast in direct contravention of the non-compete clause in the employment agreement that Chimpette insists she never signed.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #209

It turns out that Jeff from Ojai has a thing for cheerleaders, so in the interests of squeezing him for a higher ‘matchmaker fee’ Zamo sets about finding a nice green cheerleader costume for Technical Support Monkey.

Along the way, Zamo discovers that ‘the least cheerful chimp Iguana ever met,’ Georgie, was a cheerleader and, for reasons Zamo can’t fathom, Pierre really really really wants to see Georgie in her old high school cheerleader uniform.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #210

This week, having had it with the humans not taking any action to move to Los Angeles so Iggy can live happily ever after in the sun, Zamo starts sending out Georgie’s resume to every LA job posting Ig can find. Sadly, the Taco Bell on South La Brea doesn’t seem too interested in Georgie’s skills.

Meanwhile, Technical Support Monkey seems to finally be wising up and is even learning Spanish… unfortunately, she keeps relying on dubious sources like Google Translate and her Spanish-English dictionary instead of trusting in Zamo’s tutelage. Bad monkey!

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #211

Millie is packing up and getting ready to start shacking up with Mr. Hydell and Zamo wants Georgie and Pierre to move into Millie’s old tiny house, leaving the main house all to Zamo.

In other news, Technical Support Monkey insists her growing collection of Barbies is for a work project. She also insists she doesn’t have a Squeaky Simon man-Barbie doll—despite all evidence to the contrary.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #212

There’s a census in stupid frozen Canada this week and Zamo’s up in arms about not being counted when neither Georgie nor Technical Support Monkey will let Iggy fill out their census forms for them.

In other news, Technical Support Monkey just can’t seem to show any gratitude for the way Zamo improved her wardrobe by disposing of the clothes Jeff from Ojai doesn’t approve of.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #213

Millie’s all moved in with Mr. Hydell and refusing to let Zamo steal Mr. Hydell’s gold and silver coins, er: help her organize.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Technical Support Monkey is learning to salsa dance, but refuses to listen to Iggy’s helpful dance instructions… as if YouTube dance tutorials are a better authority than Zamo.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #214

No show last week due to Zamo needing to shun Technical Support Monkey for her impudence in trying to blame the Sun God for her curtains catching fire (after Iggy was done whipping her with her own iPhone charger cable, of course).

In other news, Technical Support Monkey’s sudden interest in jazz might lead to Zamo being able to squeeze a higher “matchmaker fee” out of Jeff from Ojai, and Chimpette has acquired a new redheaded Barbie that Zamo found sitting in Squeaky Simon Man-Barbie’s lap… but Technical Support Monkey insists that doesn’t actually mean anything.

Meanwhile, Technical Support Monkey and Zamo argue about what Jeff really meant when he told Iggy that Chimpette ought to make sure her rugs and curtains all match.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

Suscribe on iTunes

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #215

Technical Support Monkey’s brother has returned from Mexico empty-handed, and it turns out that Chimpette never did give him the list of Zamo’s deadbeat cousins with outstanding debts for him to collect for Iggy.

On the plus side, he and Zamo come up with a plausible reason to build a giant flat-topped Aztec pyramid right here in the Cow Named Chan Valley… if only the local mayor would listen to reason and approve the project.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #216

The Lord hath punished Technical Support Monkey with a squirrel infestation in her attic, and it’s going to cost her $500 to solve the problem.

Unfortunately, Chimpette is insisting on paying that money to an exterminator instead of paying Zamo to catch the squirrels and scramble their brains to create a Zombified Squirrel Army.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #203

Technical Support Monkey has managed to avoid a bunch of unnecessary expenses, including university tuition and exterminator fees, but instead of sharing that money with Zamo, she’s keeping it like the selfish chimp bitch she is.

In other news, none of the chimps will comply with Zamo’s demands that they get the sun tattooed on their foreheads, although it turns out Millie already has a sun tattoo somewhere else.

https://zamothedestroyer.com
http://facebook.com/zamothedestroyer

The Zamo the Destroyer Show #204

Writer/noisemaker/artist. Two current projects here: 1. Under My Skin is a comedy and commentary podcast that I post on Wednesdays. 

2. The Zamo the Destroyer Show, about a megalomaniacal iguana, comes out on Sundays.

pyradraculea

Popular tracks