another rose wilts as she's waiting for the forza as trumpets blared at too-tight snares

She's Waiting

for those murky daze when in a haze and you work your waze on rainy birkx

rainy birkx

unless you're a nerd who gets off waking up at the hairy asscrack o dawn to skip to class eight days a week school can be terrifying or vexing or perplexing but at the same time make you want to hop off that dusty old futon you inherited from your mom's best friend's third ex-husband with the stains that you don't wanna know about and whip out that coffeegrinder b-boy move you learned in sixth grade in the middle of a house which may or may not be inhabited by your friend's water polo teammate so if that describes you then here's a song for such occasions

school is scary

do you ever sometimes go to space on a bombass satellite your friend's rich uncle rented for the weekend and then you pass the death star or some other such planet destroyer and you can't help but succumb to a wave of melancholia lasting but a few short seconds which feel like the rest of your life and very well could be because you don't understand the theory of relativity quite as well as einstein (even though you're pretty damn close to publishing a few theses of your own) and for those few short seconds you possess all the panicked emotions of alderaan combined? well if that describes you then maybe you'll like this song but then again maybe not

sad-at-nite satellite

have you ever partaken in a pinky promise where all interested parties hold eye contact for far too long but you're in too deep to turn back now even though you're thinking back to the last time you made a promise that time in second grade when you said your mom would bake cookies for the class and everyone got excited until you got there and they were oatmeal raisin cookies and everyone hated you and so now you're horribly traumatized by all senses of obligation? if i've just described your life story, maybe you'll like this song

he made (mnf mix)

i made this as a theme song for my friend's parody news show
check it out on youtube

sunshine state of affairs theme

so you went to a party not knowing at all what to expect and when you get there you're the first one to show up and the host is running around frantically trying to get things together for when the main crowd arrives so you wait patiently on the floral print couch covered in a see-through plastic as the casual partygoers walk in and then all of a sudden a man in a gorilla suit tears the door off its hinges and suddenly everything is batshit crazy and you're not sure if you're having a good time or if you've drowned in the hype of the party but you're just going with it and you think you've met someone you might like until she says she has to go to the bathroom and walks away then you remember there's no bathroom in this house for sustainability purposes but you can't bring yourself to leave on the off chance that she'll return but she never does and suddenly you realize even the host left the party to go to a better one so the only ones left are you and the couple making out on the appropriately-named loveseat so now you live at this bathroom-less party house and the first thing you do is take that damn plastic off the couch before leaving like the last host and trying to find a street vendor to sell you a gyro but you fail because nobody sells gyros at 4am so you listen to this song instead

euro gyro hero

sometimes when you're windows and you check your email you inadvertently agree to the placement of a rather large suction cup upon your glass screen of a face and each year the cup is pressed down slightly more until finally three years later the suction cup is entirely compressed and then one night someone suddenly rips the suction cup off and all you're left with is a ringing in your ears a numb sensation and you realize you liked the suction cup so you're now determined to find a larger suction cup and the first step is to get a membership to a giant sam's club so you can shop for one of a more impressive size

collide (mstrd)

written and read by me
guitar by jacob nesler

QStew