im in my bag of excuses for bad decisions i made  
bad actions stemming from trauma that doesnt justificate  
i look around and see all of this destruction and decay 
but i think the only difference is i didnt see what was right in my face 
at some point you have to face it
used to think fixing my problems was caving
i used to think that my problems were what made me special and that shit is dangerous
and i used to think that if i got better my art would suffer as a trade and
it got to the point where i thought that my mental well being aint even worth saving 
but honestly i was mistaken 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i was down for so long
i dug myself too far 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i made myself the problem 

i was a victim of temptation and my own temperament
i get too passionate i come off batshit and 
im just a magnet for tragic infatuation 
almost had it but i couldnt capture it 
dont wanna trap it  
dont know whats happenin
but when youre laughing
its great distraction 
i think we might just be moving to fast and 
keep your hands in at all times and belts fastened 
i dont know 
what the fuck i was on 
how could i be so wrong 
i was down for so long
i dug myself too far 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i made myself the problem 
and honestly i dont know
what the fuck i was on
how could i be so wrong 
i was down for so long
i dug myself too far 
what the fuck was i on 
how could i be so wrong 
i made myself the problem

my big bag of excuses for this hole I dug myself into

~2300~

Lyrics:

[INTRO]
An unlikely story
Light the fuse you can't stop it sorry
I'm the cause but you choose to want me
Waste of time so don't bother calling

[VERSE 1]
Tell me you miss your old life before me
Everything seemed so complex and boring
Had to cut ties and re-write the story
I was so blind they kept trying to warn me
You're not real it's my dream
I take pills when I need to slow my heart beat
I hope you realize that you never got me
The world's yours it was never what I need

[CHORUS]
An unlikely story
Light the fuse you can't stop it sorry
I'm the cause but you choose to want me
Waste of time so don't bother calling
I'm uncomfortably numb
The cold touch of your love
I gotta to separate that part of me
It's all coming down so suddenly

[VERSE2]
I watch friends get older
Missing our lives when the fun time's over
I cannot lie I don't feel right sober
It's a fine line but I might get closer
Barely hanging on I pour my heart out
You were never one to let your guard down
Rarely ever seen i'm in the background

Of an unlikely story

[CHORUS]
An unlikely story
Light the fuse you can't stop it sorry
I'm the cause but you choose to want me
Waste of time so don't bother calling
I'm uncomfortably numb
The cold touch of your love
I gotta to separate that part of me
It's all coming down so suddenly 
An unlikely story
Light the fuse you can't stop it sorry
I'm the cause but you choose to want me
Waste of time so don't bother calling
I'm uncomfortably numb
The cold touch of your love
I gotta separate that part of me
It's all coming down so suddenly

Unlikely Story (prod. Bennykaay)

vocals by @supachefm & @jomie
mix and master by @polearm

telepathy w/ jomie

Prod. Venus

Lyrics 

This song’s a message to my older self
Huh
I hope that one day you can find yourself
i hope it worked out with that girl you love
or did you fuck up like i thought i would
I hope the thoughts don’t keep you up at night
cos right now i cant fucking sleep at all
Hope that you overcome ur anxious mind
or it’ll be your fucking funeral

tides changing, and i been contemplating my thoughts, 
smooth sailing is not smooth if you bail when its hard
I hope you beat the demons that left you so broken and scarred
hope you surround yourself with people that wont
TEAR YOU APART

AND WHILE YOU’RE AT IT WONT YOU LET SOMEBODY INTO YOUR HEART

START TO APPRECIATE THE TIME YOU SPEND WITH HER IN YOURS ARMS

CAUSE RIGHT NOW IM DISSOCIATED I FORGOT HOW TO FEEL

WOUNDS REOPEN THAT I SWEAR HAD 
ALREADY FULLY HEALED

Its like everything that’s happened lately hasn’t been real
life’s been feelin kinda pointless uh 
oh
maybe higher powers set me up
But I dont know if its just me who’s lost oh
I give up i fucking guess they won

This song’s a message to my older self
I hope that one day you can find yourself
i hope it worked out with that girl you love
or did you fuck up like i thought i would
I hope the thoughts dont keep you up at night
Cos right now i cant fucking sleep at all
I hope you overcome ur anxious mind
Or it’ll be your fucking funeral

message to my older self

What happened?

this is the story of a boy who knew too much
so the world was always gray, and he had no sense of touch
and he kept himself real safe inside the confines of his bed
but he was not alone, hearing all the words been said

all my friends are the demons in my head
and we always have a talk every time i go to bed
but i don't think they're my favorite, they just wanna rub it in
that you're probably gone forever, but i should not give a shit 'cause

that's life, but i really wish it ain't
'cause like everytime i panic, i can't breath and then i faint
but it's probably 'cause i never eat enough, now i'm drained
i just got no appetite since you split, i'm detained

this is the story of a girl who felt too much
she just wanted to be held, but she rarely felt a touch
and the distance always broke her, the connection turned to rust
so now she's somewhere out there, and there's no one that i trust

with her

this is the story of a boy who's now grown up
he spends his time alone, he minds his business, makes some bucks
he knows he has to stay here even when he feels it tug
there's nothing on the other side, it's all the same but just more fucked

The Story

the story

pretend Prod. sundwn

<3

lyrics:

i follow where my heart leads sometimes that's all i know
then i end up defeated when i lose all self control
but i'm not the villain, and i'm not the good guy either
if i'm such a problem, why would you let me keep her

last night i was fuckin it up
i can't lie i kept refillin my cup
and though i know i shouldn't ever wanna drink like that
i have a couple issues that i got from dad so

i've tried to end it all and finally feel the repercussion
i know that its stupid all the memories would be for nothin

if you meet a better guy you should prolly dip
you should prolly split nothings what you thought it is
if you need some peace of mind i can let you go
god knows girl ya i'm such a fuckin joke

if you see me doin fine its another act
i'm an addict not an artist never take me back
if i see another day its another bit
i'm just tryna make you smile ain't it obvious

i've set my standards so damn high
i don't know if i'll make it out this time
i wanna tell you i've healed and i'm fine
but everyone knows that's a lie

i follow where my heart leads sometimes that's all i know
then i end up defeated when i lose all self control
but i'm not the villain, and i'm not the good guy either
if i'm such a problem, why would you let me keep her

Bleeding Out v1

Lil Hoodie - “Big Dogs Anthem”

(kindmile)
And I hate your guts but I love your bones 
And I love you more the more you break down my hope 
Oh beauty is pain so the devil must reign 
Oh loving you to death it would end in vane 

I couldn’t give a fuck it I tried 
Cuz someone out there piping the love of my life 
Nah I couldn’t give a fuck if I died 
But I bet there’s someone out there thatd gladly trade lives 

I don’t fear sharks and I don’t fear drowning 
Once ur heads below the surface it’s just another day 
I don’t fear heights and I don’t fear flying 
I just fear the day to come where I forget your name 

You’re so fucking different now 
You’re like everybody else in this shitty town
You don’t like me you don’t believe in me
I fucking hate that I gave you a piece me 
I bet you think about me like you never ever knew me 
Bitch you dumb fake like a shitty toupee 
I’ll rip a page from your book I want you no where that I look
id do anything it took to get you out my minds nooks 

and I hate your guts but I love your bones 
and I love you more the more you break down my hope 
oh beauty is pain so the devil must reign 
oh loving you to death it would end in vane

(sewerperson)
cold winter nights
in your arms
the blood inside of her is keeping me warm
i promise im just checking if ur alright
baby i dont wanna fight like last time
could you heal me
of my damage
i feel so alone on this planet
i lay awake at night in your mattress
baby open up i need access

crows fly off my window sill
she told me draw my blood so she can tell if im real
blue seeps out from my open wound
she said as long as you love me i can love you too
and she cant be replaced ah
baby kiss me slow i miss the taste
she look me in my spirit everytime i grip her waist
she pushing back against me while she hold me by the face
if its true love we could always power thru the hate

(kindmile)
And I hate your guts but I love your bones 
And I love you more the more you break down my hope 
Oh beauty is pain so the devil must reign 
Oh loving you to death it would end in vane

What happened?

Mi3tAkE✪