A modern fable: the feeling of closing in on a near-death experience in the swampland of your hometown while you're adrift in your 20's. 
As your mind pivots between small joys to keep you alive in your split seconds of free will, an otherworldly omniscient being inside of your head reveals itself to help you choose.

Written/produced by Queen Utopia, with original photography

Death... or smoothies and pain? (demo)

When love and happiness feel strange to us and we're learning how to trust again: here's a love story between aliens.

Written/produced by Queen Utopia, with original photography

Alien Hearts (demo)

That momentum of destiny, that world of clarity, 
when you feel like your life is going somewhere... 
that ambient, meditative blue mood of traveling, 
when you feel more like yourself.

Written/produced by Queen Utopia, with original photography

Going Places! (demo)

I wrote this song for those times in which you feel like you're fighting against your own shortcomings, when you're fighting the inertia of your past mistakes in order to muster the energy needed to improve. 
Mood: a snowy day; I had just read a story about gridlock in Congress.

Written/produced by Queen Utopia, with original photography

Inertia (demo)

Brand new original music written and produced by Queen Utopia, with original lyrics and photography.
Released February 18, 2017, 
from bedroom...  :)

Bedroom Legends
Lyrics:

(The TV, with its enthralling psychic blend that raised you) 

Hearing other voices, in this stream, has been a crutch
It started early: this conduit beauty
Double-talk excited her, the mythology of this place 
Unrestrained the developers, rearranging their lives

She couldn't listen to the testimonies on the television
without buckling, bending like a sapling in their sway
She sometimes screamed in a locked-away canyon
deep inside of her for them to confide in her,
they were willing to speak evil to her face, 
but they always shielded themselves: 
someone else would take their fall

You feel a pull of potential 
for evil if you were born to a criminal
but you can stand up to it 
in the vacuum you were forced into 

The psychic's inner voices were a crutch from a young age 
Without any filters from the judging afterworld,
she felt the hot breath of sunshine on her face, 
and it would be over now: 
the psychic stopped hearing other voices not her own
Not her own 

My heart is a balled-up fist this morning
I woke up with a pain so immense 
Was there someone who had kicked me from inside the chest?
I was so amiss
I had mapped my life around these pines...
sometimes the energy clings to you like a boat in the reeds
This inertia has been supreme 

Bedroom Legends 
Bedroom Legends 
Safe and savory 
Do you always give leave? 
Do you want to be who you want to be? 
Isolated, isolated?
Bedroom Legends 
Only want to be who you want to be 
in your head... 
Bedroom Legends

Bedroom Legends (demo)

Written/produced by Queen Utopia, with original photography

You know that gnawing bitter rage that floods your gut at times? 
This song is about that acidic anger that you're left to process after someone leaves you high and dry and how vicious an attack that willful absence can be on you day after day. This song is about arranging a meeting across state lines with a biological father you've never met while evacuating from a hurricane. 
In his denial, as he evades you and gives you the runaround, his ghost claims that 'Absence never bleeds,' which you know to be a lie, from the raw pain you carry in his betrayal. You can know so much about a person from what they leave behind. 



Savage Clown : Interstate Runaround
Lyrics:

The radio stations 
would melt into each other on the Charlotte border
Handshakes on the exit on my first visit
'Narrowly missed one another,' so I thought
'Absence never bleeds,' you say 
But I know you from your vicious denial every day.

It's a ditch on the shore: 
the tides fill a hole of what never remains
Iron Lung

Marathon Man 
with your massacre stand on a burial ground
Your rage makes me sick, 
It's toxic to carry it around 

I won't do you any favors, not of my own

Savage Clown : Interstate Runaround (demo)

Brand new original song written and produced by Queen Utopia, 
with original lyrics and photography by Queen Utopia

I wrote this song about standing up to- and rising above- all of the bullies and cowards in life. 
They try to make people fear them, but this will never give them the respect they want: respect can only be earned by trust. 
Fear is not truth: we can't know anyone through it. 

Fear < Respect 
lyrics: 

(Intro)
Some people take the first lie they're given in life as a child
and build a whole life out of it.
The first one? Easy hate.
Choices show us who we are, and you've voided yourself from the start.
...Keeps you small.


I'm always tying myself down to something to scare me, 
to keep me barely hanging on. 
I'm tired of my self- sabotage, 
I've always gotta outwit me... 
It feels like I spend ten hours a day talking myself out of 
what my heart's set on.

As if fear will gain you the respect you yearn for, 
but I'm sick of feeling 
like all the dead-ends are nothing I've worked for.

I feel like everything I've reached for hasn't amounted to anything.
It seems I have to narrow myself down, down to bliss 
by checking off a list,
but it's only because I've left no room for fun that I even think like this.

Because we all hop out into this earth equally 
with different warped histories
and sometimes we carry our doubt around uneasily
but we're all human beings. 
And I've gotta stop writing off what's come before me-
everything is made with a little creativity.
And we can trust one another and how we're feeling
but not with the fear that's not unique and not true to human beings. 

I know that I hurt you
when I can't see you
I'm sorry I only call when I'm alright
and I never share how lost I am at night.

I know that all my thoughts go back to what he puts us through
and I treat you like you're across the room
I've believed in words all my life, 
starved, locked alone in rooms:
they were free for the taking to play with in my mind.
Everything goes back to metaphor
I'm drained from living in a time 
when lies reach something as precious as emotion
They can never take away what you're feeling.
Sometimes I think back to that prehistoric ache of boredom
at the way I've been living.
Some people sink so low they reach hell and keep digging.

I thought it would make me better 
that every monster needs justification 
to talk themselves out of feeling what they've done.
They've cut ties with the land of the living,
but they're living off of us and the strength we give them 
in the mystery, magic, mythology we grant them in our heads,
and they hide in the cloud cover 
and push for the shit they get away with and discover.
You've gotta stop seeing your mentor in them:
They gave up that privilege long ago. 

We've gotta stop thinking we can only hold out
We won't give them that kind of clout of expiration 
They can't wear us out for long
If you walk away, they can't keep screaming
and they'll toss and turn with the guilt they spread
to everybody else but themselves.
What are they getting out of?
I can't carry them around forever.

Fear will never gain you the respect you yearn for... ever.

Fear < Respect (demo)

New original electronic music by Queen Utopia