Mixed by addyk4y4iii , Raf
Mastered by raf

-LYRICS-//

-Raf Kairyl-

Feeling macam od, pale otak aku fell apart slowly.
Smoke rokok Luffman hari-hari.
Cuts on my wrists, you see them don't judge me.
Tell me that you hate me.

Dying inside again, yea.
Mungkin jump off the roof and die, yea.
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die
but these thoughts ada dalam me.

Saying go away, go away, 
go away from life.
Take some meds, 
khayal untuk sementara.
Hilang from dunia nyata.
Tapi thoughts of you masih ada.
I can't forgive for what happened to you.
I'm sorry for you, 
for what you've been through.
Salah aku sendiri overthink shit 
that isn't true.
Now I'm fucked up for life 
takde hala tuju.

-Layandiri-

full time aku ot
part time aku cari happy
i dont know bila shit freaking out 
freekick out peace and out what the fuck

time aku dah mati 
half time aku ada lagi
oh shit asyik buzy lonely dying turn on etc.

mulut aku miming takda lipsync hati aku koyak kena wiring
what the fuck aku fail everyday takda luck
everywhere aku ill fucking loser
what the fuck whats the feel everytime 
everything i feel like now dah fuck up gila

tutup mata eyes lost
shooting cut off 
nafas panjang high nose
hanging rope tightrope

Jump+off+and+(don't)+die//++ "  layandiri.  "

Original ver. from "Project Crying Overnight" by Raf Kairyl & Shaydiss.

ps. I missed you

-LYRICS-

-Raf Kairyl-

She told me to decide,
whether I should play with the fire
in her heart.
So I took a flight
straight to my death I ain't no lying.

Rolling, rolling
Imma roll to the dark.
Flying, flying 
flying straight to your heart girl.
I'll be there for you.
Will my wish come true ?

I don't wanna fall in love again,
unless it's you the one.
okay I admit that at times 
I've had thoughts of us.
Being forever young, 
forever loved.

-HVWK-

I don't wanna fall in love again because love is such a pain im so tired of this shit i dont wanna fuckin fall in love again

I like to be alone it's fair enough for me cause im so fuckin dumb love is just a lie it's just gonna break my heart into pieces if u dont care about me anymore why do you you wanna break my heart u must love to watch me suffer u must love to watch me suffer

Just let me be what i wanna be dont break my heart dont break my heart baby

WILL_MY_WISH_COME_TRUE??//(REMIX)++HVWK

Mixed by Niikmati
::dia tak chill do

-Lyrics-

I don't wanna live my life like a default.
Hidup aku masin feeling macam sea salt.
Is it too much for you to take ?
Finding out what's real and fake.

I don't want to fade.
I don't need your hate.

The silence breaks when it's too much to bear through.
Finding my true purpose of life,
without you by my side.
By my side.


Sea_Salt//(Default+Skin??) ++Prod. Duvaal

:: there's no chance to live a life with you here with me, tell me how does it feel ?

-Lyrics-

Ain't nobody get me how this feels inside, 
I know that it all takes some time for for me to find my way out of here.

To live in this darkness, 
a cell of voices where I cry too loud.
Whispers roam my head, 
confusions made
to pick choices that turn out to be worse and out all of these times 
why did you leave now ?
After all these memories, 
why is it now ?

Ain't nobody get me how this feels inside, 
I know that it all takes some time for for me to find my way out of here
Is it too much for me to ask ,
a life without you that I can't accept ?


"Whispers_roam_in_me"//::Confusions

:: The moon on the skies, isn't it beautiful ?

Mix and mastered by raf
Prod by Yung spoiler

-Lyrics-

Look up to the skies, 
we're seeing the same moon
even you're far away from me.
Giving the best all of me.

But why did you lie to me ?
You're all that I ever need.
Find a purpose out of me.
I can't live, I can't breathe.
If it wasn't you, 
Then who could it be ?

Is it too hard to say the words 
"I love you" when it hurts ?
Wrote these words to let you know,
I'd try to live up to those things 
you'd wanted me to be.

But why did you lie to me ?
You're all that I ever need.
Find a purpose out of me.
I can't live, I can't breathe.
If it wasn't you, 
Then who could it be ?

Look up to the skies, 
we're seeing the same moon every night.
Giving you, giving you my all.
I tried my best to take control of myself.
Without you by my side,
I hope that I won't fall.






++moon++

:: If only that you're here rn.

Mixed & mastered by Niikmati
Prod by forzen

-Lyrics-

*Dreams of being with you seem so far away*

I can't think of other ways on fixing the mess I've made,
even if it means for me to go insane.

Were you there when I cry ?

Didn't you promised you'd held on
and to lead me the way ?
I've let these thoughts drown,
into this emptiness
just to fill my head.
With those eyes, 
I see how you felt for me.
When I see your face,
would you remember me ?

I'll cry, I'll hide.

*were you there when I cry ?*



REMEMBER ME

:: I'm still here, writing songs about you.

Mixed by Niikmati
prod. by puhf x rxhff

-Lyrics-

Running from these thoughts
I won't be saved.
All I want is you and not the fame.
Crying on my own, forget the pain.
Turning this self, insane.

The hate I put myself 
through all the nights I've been,
with you.

It's true that I'm nothing more than myself,
shouted for help but no one's coming through.
I'm still here, for you.
I don't feel like myself,
these past few months.
I tend to think a lot about you.

I tend to give up my life for you.
I tend to give up my life for you.

Running from these thoughts
I won't be saved.
All I want is you and not the fame.
Crying on my own, forget the pain.
Turning this self, insane.


YOU (I WON'T BE SAVED)

:: I have a lot of questions in mind, text me an answer. 

-Lyrics-

++Raf Kairyl++

I try to not to think of you, 
keeping all these words by myself.
Is anyone there, out to help ?
Maybe it's just what I felt.

Set me free, 
these voices keep making me feel like this.
Answer me,
you kept being quiet for those things I've missed.

put a rifle to my head, 
Imma pull the trigger out.
Another time you'd let me go,
hard times you've let me lose control.
I missed all the life that I've had,
now I'm nothing but a useless soul.
Seeing things like 
how you used to say to me,
"In a good way" I suppose.
But all those times for this,
Just to leave me to cope with the pain.

++YONG'SH!TZ++

yeah overthink now
i cant help to stop fucking think now
it fuckin hurt bad
everybody tell me it was okay yeahhh

and i feel i want to die tonight
and i cant fight that
i cant make thing feel alright

and i cant stop feeling bad it will never heal
and i cant stop fuck it will never heal
and now i try to find what fuck is real
and im stuck alone in the battlefield




AN ANSWER (DON'T THINK) ft YONG'SH!TZ

:: If only it was forever

Prod. JXGOKU
Mixed & Mastered by Niikmati

-Lyrics-

I need some time,
for me to heal.
I don't see no reason for me to let it dissolve into this broken mind.
When my body's stale,
it all turns into memories you'd keep.
Deep within the fields of thoughts,
You hide.
Beneath those eyes,
it all reminds me of the times that 
I've keep it by myself.
Keep it by myself.
I'll try not to kill myself tonight.

I won't deny, it's all a lie.
I won't deny, it's all a lie.


OUT OF TIME "IN DESPERATE NEED OF CIGARETTES"

:: I'm leaving

MIXED BY NIIKMATI

-lyrics-

Disappear like dust, I'm going away.
Got no intentions on 
leaving my heart to break.
Your love did me wrong.
It's like I'm stuck in a cage.
I got nowhere to run,
try my best to escape.

No, I won't give in my life.
I'm all affected by those beautiful lies.
Try and tell me, would you stay aside 
and say "It's alright, I'll be there."
When I'm falling at my lows,
when I feel the shivers down my spine.

No, I don't want to be alone.
Swollen eyes, 
I can't hold my tears no more.
For all that you hide,
the more I know.
Overthinking, overflow.
Blood runs through,
I can't control my mind.

DISAPPEAR LIKE DUST : I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE

Hey sarah, I'm doing better now. And I'll still wait for you.

Prod. sorrow bringer
Mixed by Niikmati

+Lyrics+

Hey girl,
Are you doing fine ?
I'm still right here, tryna be fine.
When you said you love me,
Tell me that it isn't a lie.

A lie.
A lie.

Fading scars, 
none is new.
I feel like my dreams are coming true.
Full of thoughts,
Just to name a few.
I know for a fact,
It's all for you.

Soon enough, 
These visions of you,
Will fade away.
Deteriorate.
And by then, 
Will I be okay ?

Visions of you inside my mind.
I'm trying to live through,
long enough 
to keep my promise on being with you.

HEY GIRL. (LETTERS TO SARAH)

If in this life we won't be able to meet again, then I'll wait for you in the afterlife.

Prod. NOT$OD
Mixed by Niikmati

+Lyrics+

Pull my eyes out,
let me bleed
Till my breath ain't enough.
I'm dying and I'm still by my own.
If time ain't enough for us,
I'll try to keep my words.
Then let's meet up in the afterlife.
In the afterlife.

She's the one,
That hides her pain 
beneath that beautiful smile.
My pain won't heal,
it's self destructing on it's own.

Let me bleed out through my eyes.
Saving myself out,
But I'll assume that I wanna die.
I'm paralysed,
Stuck in this mind.
Drown in thoughts, 
I won't live a lie.
I won't live a lie.


AN AFTERLIFE

If letting you go, is the only way on getting the life I've had.

Prod. beamerboy prod.
Mixed by Niikmati

+Lyrics+

In the nights as I fall in fears,
city lights, 
they shine like the stars up on the skies.
Questions came on me 
as I'm alive.

You broke me apart, 
again and again.
When I think things through,
When I come back to you,
Would you be right here as the flowers bloom ?

Tonight,
I'll try not to take a step towards my end.
Who will you choose ?
Am I worth enough to make it through ?
For you, for you.
If I don't feel right maybe it's time 
for me to decide,
If letting you go,

Is the only way on getting the life I've had.
Then I won't give in, 
I'll take the risk.
I won't let go, 
I won't let go.

In the nights as I fall in tears,
Would you stay with me ?
Don't tell me that I'll be fine,
All my thoughts are to die.



WENT AWAY (THROUGH THE NIGHT)

AS THE STARS SHINE FT AKKIMWARU

None of it is real for me,
December.

Mixed by Niikmati

NONE IS REAL FT SAINTLAURENT

Don't tell me that I'll be fine.

Mixed by Niikmati

+Lyrics+

Wished I've known that I wasn't enough.
There's no chance that 
I'll get you out of my head.
And I'll go,
Waiting for you till the end.

I know I've wasted it all,
The times that I should've be with you.
I've let my soul drown into these thoughts 
Of letting you go.
My life isn't what I hoped for.
All alone by myself in the dark.
Keeping my thoughts in mind.
Pull the trigger,
And I'll be fine.

I'll be fine, for now.
Don't tell me that I'll be fine.
Making sure the words I said
Will go on and live in you 
After I'm gone.
Raindrops on windows,
It looks like my tears when I'm left 
to be dead in this cage of mine.
I'll set my soul on fire.

Why would you leave me here ?
Why would you call me a liar ?
Put a bullet straight to my head.
Leave my body with no motions
On my bed.
I'm crying for help 
Cause I'm killing myself.
I'm killing myself.


LEARNING TO LET YOU GO.

I hope you're happier, 
even if I'm not.

Mixed by Niikmati
Prod. Taylor J

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY (...BUT I'M NOT) FT MIRUKI DONNO

When I'm not sober, all I could think of is you.

Prod. by Taylor J
Mixed by Niikmati

+Lyrics+

Going again, 
Overdose.
Feel it straight to my brains,
I'm overflown.
My thoughts,
They overflow.

Living my life's a misery.
Perceptions of time,
you're all I need.
My pain's intense,
You'll never know about me.
Unexpected changes to be seen.
Abuse on my nicotine,
Put my life on a tight hanging rope,
So no one bothers me.

Words stuck in me,
I can't decide if I'm staying clean.
I've had enough of these voices inside of me.

"Your words don't mean a thing to me".
I'm obsessed on killing me.
My lungs full of black tar,
It ain't cancer free.


OVERDOSE (OD)

INTERLUDE (WORDS TO KEEP)

"dying"

Mixed by Niikmati
Prod. by JXGOKU

DYING FROM THE PAIN FT HVWK + MAEYO

Aku pergi dulu



All i could feel is suffocated
I'm suffocated, im sedated
turn your wishes 
to ashes and im gone

I wish i knew 
that this feeling wont last for long
you know I doubt 
you knew 
that this void im feeling 
the silence 
of yours is too damn loud
i ran into your cold
serving the same one so
love it when you come and go
drove away from home

outside
wont you take me 
outside
the rain eases it all
outside
love it when you come and go






wishes turn 2 ashes

Again (Prod. Aureola)

Original track by Bastard 
its an acoustic cover

Lyrics 

story goes,
Never mind it
Vision like an oracle, the molotovs, 
the heartbreaks
Went in like a cannonball, 
a force not to fuck with
Vision like an oracle, the molotovs, 
the heartbreaks
Went in like a cannonball

When I listened to ambient, 
slept to grouper by the dark
We crash, we hit, made our mark, 
sweet serene Rehberge park 
sweet serene Rehberge park 

Camcorder caught the nostalgia, 
don’t need to catch no stars
We got it bright as the sound
Better run 
when you’re doubting
When you’re doubting

Love you like i never did
Your my angel 
you could be heaven sent
You’re my love i never admit
you could be heaven sent

No one lives in Kuala Lumpur
No one leaves 'til you want them to go
Hold my heart I′ll hold yours
No one lives in Kuala Lumpur
No one played their cards they both fold
Hold my heart I'll hold yours close
No silver linings we want gold

No one lives in Kuala Lumpur
No one lives in Kuala Lumpur
No one lives in Kuala Lumpur

No One Lives In KL

Lyrics

Wished i couldve said it before
And now,
drowning,
Leaving scars,
burn off all the frames,
From off the walls.

Was sure last night 
i was poppin
cant remember shit at all
My mind went out of place 
I know i look too deep 
Beneath the surface 

where no one knows
Where no one knows
Where the fuck did i go 
Where the fuck did i go wrong
Where the fuck did i go 
the fuck did i go wrong
Ooh ooh ooh ooh 

drowning,
Leaving scars,
burn off all the frames,
From off the walls.

where the fuck did it go wrong ?

I got 22s , gold number
Cream light whites just the colour
blackened off lungs 
Till the pain hits
Run my pills off the top

I Take 5s when i feel it 
We worship drugs for
The sake of it
Ma don’t say all that bullshit
So i set myself 

Jangan kacau ini barang beta
Penyesalan kau ada di muka 
Persis kau jauh dari yang benar
Pasti kau mahu kan nya 

Cuba kau pergi
Cuba kau pergi
Menari , tiada yang nampak 
suci oh sang pueri

Lari , tiada jalan yang tetap tertutup sehingga mati

When it runs it kills
Depths that live in me
When it lights it kills
Horns above his eyes

BETA

((Penumpang))

They better pray im all the time (high)
If it ain’t me, 
who will make you mine ? (Mine)
Our hearts same,
Undone.
And I watch it
End up dying. 

Cuz kau 
Faham,
Aku penumpang.
Faham, 
Aku tak sedar.

Sabotage, being proud
Small skies, big clouds 

The grit the space
She calls for her heaven :
“cut me open, take my answers out ?”.

I know,
I know.

Kalau kau tahu,
Kenapa semua ulang
Yang aku tahu
Kau tenang masa hilang
Cuma kau yang…

Faham,
Aku penumpang.
Faham, 
Aku tak sedar.

demo.one (penumpang)

((Pintu))

Cerita pasal kau maybe dah sampai situ
Split it apart plain surfaces 
kunci pintu
Kalau Ikut rasa 
Aku Nak beli waktu

Gotta stain your face
get it, nobody loves you
(Fuck you)

Had a dream come true
Saved the seats for two
Matahari dah benam
its was nice meeting you

Save your minutes ive been waiting

All vices, all the nice things
Would you
Save it for me,
Save it for me.

Obnoxious,
Unconscious.

demo.two (pintu)

((Better than me))

The same,
Heart ripped open you’re just 
stuck in the past.
Oh hate me when,
Someone better could’ve take you to dance.
Treat you better than anyone else,
Anyone else but me.

Im not sedated,
Suffocating,
Times im faded.
Ain’t a saint for my actions.
Probably said too much.
In your room, 
Im waiting 
Im waiting 
for something to change.

Raf Kairyl

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