I always find myself looking back to late nights on the phone with you, and that sleepy smile you carried so carelessly im sorry I have a lot to say so please bare with me. and the way you form these beautiful words so easily and they bring comfort to my heart and soul as if your here holding me telling me everything's going to be alright and that these things just take time you'll be fine, I promise.
I'll wait for u days on end most nights in need of a friend I stare at the void on my ceiling drowning in every form of feeling but I can't feel them anymore I feel so much I miss the touch I never felt please help yourself that's the meaning of self care and I care so much. I'm not selfish I just feel so selfless so helpless without you please I've never felt this, I need your words they're real. I just wish you could understand how I feel. and in tomorrow's coming ill do the same wait for you and push through the pain.. im just so tired of playing this game called life, because I'm not winning. this stupid story and I don't even know the plot you are all I've got you are the only real.

I promise im not selfish I just feel so selfless so helpless without you please give me your arms to rest in.



saudades

i just miss all of my friends n im so tired of working 
you said i dont talk much n that im hardly a person 

its getting cold again i gotta pull out the jackets 
you knew i hated life so you just bought me a casket 

so get up get up
show out show out
tell these niggas that you know how it goes
stuck in my head inside my room 
baby you do not even know

dont keep crying ill be right there
ive been trying to keep smiling 
theres no hope.

foreverawaits*[demo]

thevideostar

oceanwaves

my nicotine addiction is worse than yours

petrichor

smile now!!, only 5.99$ wav.wav master.wav

it never rains out here.wav

his blood was on the pavement for 2 weeks before they cleaned it up.wav

the glow from the lamp in my room is the only hing keeping me sane.wav

my nights are yours.

in the absence of everything i still see you

watching the sun break the horizon, i hope everyone forgets i ever existed

.      .      .      .

rosalind.wav

broke - modest mouse

goneoutsideupyourstreet.wav

bens riff

a fog(1)

a fog(2)

3:37pm

eel eel eels

4444444444444444

i can see the sun threw the blinds,,,,feels warm:))

end of my life.

train

i cant help you

enough

gymnopedie

careless

are u ok?

the butterflies swarmed my stomach and up my throat. the words you sang to me sprang up the wilted wild flowers in my soul. oh! the words, the most beautiful words made my heart dance and prance in the wind. they made the miles that stood between you and i feel like inches away, and the way you smiled you i tilted my head up to you, god that smile made the mood curl up and the sun burst out, its rays brighter than ever before. you, you have shown me what love is to look like, you have shown me what happiness is to look like.

-marin

night saudade 01 - ashcroft

i think a 
little bit too much,
i know
i havent been the best.

but ill try
to cure
the demons in my brain

and im tired
cause everydays the same


sometimes 
i feel like im no good

and your heart
i wish i understood

and my dreams
always follow me around

so i try
to block out all the sounds

night saudade 02 - girl

night saudade 03 - their end




cause i dont really care about ur friends or what they do
all i wanna do rn is lay next to u
u told me how u felt that night and i lost my mind
im always thinkin about that day
it gets me everytime

your friends

i just wanna let u know im going away

i don't even care if i lose u along the way 

dont look at me that way dont tell me what u wanna say

the feelings u had the feelings i had the feelings she had all decay

waves 46

….it never rains out here

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