Sometimes I rap about Dungeons and Dragons.

Lyrics:
Bass growling in your face like a grizzly bear
I’m riding high hats like familiars at the wizard fair
Drums hot, but I’m chiller than a blizzard scare
Yeah, Im a pillar but I’ll kill ya with a scissor snare

So when we chilling in the middle of the lizard’s lair
I’ll play a ditty send fifty shivs hissing through air
And fly swiftly into its gizzard and disappear
Yeah we’re slaying dragons, we deserve flagons of illest beer

And when we’re in the clear and passing the city limits
I’m casting mass suggestion on those flibbertigibbets
Got em acting out tragedies with wizard-y gimmicks
They’re never catching us we’ll casually dip with the quickness

Poof its like magic only hits with no misses
And when they see my singing sword cats shit in their britches
But it can play laugh tracks slash and splitting their stitches 
Now we greedy suns a bitches we ain’t splittin our riches

My bard song got the whole gang strong
We can slay any foe becuase yo we bang long
If you think you can go for the goat you're dang wrong
I got notes that could choke your throat so hang on
  
My bard song got the whole gang strong
We can slay any foe becuase yo we bang long
If you think you can go for the goat you're dang wrong
I got notes that could choke your throat
  
From the taverns to the caverns, we swerve non-furtively 
Burning every Wyrven we serve with certainty
I turn em into verses, rehearse em until they sheen
Then disperse to you persons, its work my purse is mean
 
So curse and scream, your words can’t hurt the team
Singing songs of silence, you jerks are turned serene
I burn supreme a furnace of former fiends
Who had the audacity to demand I perform for free

Like God Damn if you can't afford my fee
The band will handle you, we set straight the serpentine
I mean, its not like we're scheming up skirmishes 
So don't be nervous if you cant compete with our services

Got dervishes whirling to the beat with a purpose it's
A party, all the bards are in the streets with the urchins
Getting rowdy, its loud now theres beef with some merchants
I gotta step in and stress they watch their teeth or its curtains

Hard Bard Music

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Don't call me late for dinner

When you look at me now. 
I look like all the other cows.
Though my fields are full of gold,
hidden within. 
I've fooled you for years, 
and you're nothing at all to me. 
Though you kept me fed and watered,
half happy. 

No electric fence can keep me in.
There ain't no boundary I can't pass. 
Your half assed grid can't trick my feet. 
Because I'm finally free at last. 

I might not stand out,
from a field, that's full of cows.
After all; a cow is a cow, a cow is a cow, a cow, a cow, a cow.
But if you'd tried to see. 
You might of seen a little something in me.
But you're heads; on the ground, on the ground, the ground, the ground, the ground. 

No no haired, big belly, 
son of stupidity me. 
I'll be taking all this ground, from around.
No long haired milk sucker, 
lack of moral fibre and weak.
I'll be the meanest cow around,
on the ground. 

No big bad wolf is ever gonna threaten the king.
I am the cow that's broken free.
No cut price vagabond, white van politics freak.
I am the cow that's broken free. 




Cows (Free)

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Hard Bard Music

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