still you, still me (prod. Chill Sebs)

prod. boyfifty

lyrics:
verse 1:
it was 1 am on the evening train
caught a late ride out to maine
sat down, put my earbuds in
then a sight started getting under my skin
yeah i saw her, she was jaw-dropping
like icing on the cake, the perfect topping
and just for a second we locked eyes
her eyes, opal colored like the skies


hook:
maybe she's the one, maybe she's not
but she hit me in my blind spot
maybe i should talk to her
'cause this moment will never recur
but maybe i should just shut up
'cause i'm just way too beat up
she's well out of my league
and i can't find the courage to speak


post-hook:
and in a mere second, eye contact broke
was it even intentional? what a joke
but that awoke something in me
and i walked up to her spilling the tea


verse 2:
i said: "hey", she said: "hello"
i remarked: "what's your name, i'd really like to know"
and she smiled: "my name is rebecca"
but that wasn't really the omega
i said "my name is rarsh, nice to meet you"
"would you be interested in a rendezvous"
and she grinned: "yes i would"
but i was too afraid of what could've been


hook:
maybe she was the one, maybe she was not
all i know's she hit me in my blind spot
maybe i should've talked to her
'cause that moment won't ever recur
maybe i should've not shut up
'cause i couldn't have been too beat up
she could've been in my league
and i could've found the courage to speak


outro:
maybe it just wasn't meant to be
or maybe it was just pure stupidity
but maybe it could've been meant to be
and i could've rewritten destiny
but now i won't ever know
'cause i was too afraid to go and show
her face now's faded away
gone, with the light of day

the girl on the train

to a person which i shall not name
prod. boyfifty

lyrics:
verse 1:
it all kicked off in early june
on a nice warm summer afternoon
you hit me up, so i hit you back
who could've guessed the incoming attack?
you set the plan and you brought a friend
guess i should follow, don't break the trend
so i brought my plus one too
and there we were, a four person crew
it was a wreck, who am i kidding?
silent stares, the pieces misfitting
but maybe we were both too shy
and that's why it all went so awry
still, we kept talking, yeah, we tried
'til a single gust made it all subside
'til we shattered and broke apart
'til we found ourselves right back at start

hook:
why do you despise me so much?
how long you gon' hold this grudge?
i tried my best to make it work
'but you think of me as a jerk
i'm sorry i couldn't be your guy
but i was real, i never lied
i think it's time to let go of this hate
and set your feelings straight


verse 2:
i still don't know what all the hate's for
was it the way that i walked out the door?
maybe you thought we had something real
but i never promised, never sealed the deal
so why are you acting so damn small?
there's only so much a man can haul
you're out here twisting the truth
dropping my name like a broken tooth
and they eat it all up, every little word
guess it's easy when the lines get blurred
never thought you’d stoop this low
but i guess some masks don’t always show
i never lied, never did you wrong
and yeah, maybe i stayed too long
but i had to see it clear as day
didn't wanna run just to lose my way


hook:
why do you despise me so much?
how long you gon' hold this grudge?
i tried my best to make it work
'but you think of me as a jerk
i'm sorry i couldn't be your guy
but i was real, i never lied
i think it's time to let go of this hate
and set your feelings straight

outro:
how long you gon' hold this grudge?
but you think of me as a jerk
but i was real, i never lied
and set your feelings straight

grudge (boyfifty)

fdone

lyrics:
just say, say now,
how to get out?
say now, say how,
to break these chains down
just say, say now,
how to get out?
say now, say how,
to break these chains down

all that can be said is the future is dead
no mind's eye in sight on the inside of my head
the infection spreads through intertwined threads
it simply shreds and then overextends
winter never passes, summer just won't come
but maybe i'll feel better swimming in the rum
spaghettified thoughts strech out till they snap
and once they do, they leave behind a massive gap
gravity's got me in a chokehold, pulling me inward
the earth hasn't spun, my tether deferred
a decrepit cowhide jacket is all i've got
and my signal just won't reach the hotspot
a trigger pull could rewrite the page
ink spills fast when the hands disengage
maybe it's fate, or maybe just chance
a quiet escape in a lead-lined dance

just say, say now,
how to get out?
say now, say how,
to break these chains down
just say, say now,
how to get out?
say now, say how,
to break these chains down

okay, maybe i went a bit too far,
but ain't it crazy how we fade like dying stars?
tuning my guitar, strumming empty chords
searching for a spark, but the signal's ignored
i’ve been stuck inside this echo of the past
06a tesla, but i'm running out of gas
memories glitch like a scratched-up tape
skipping on a loop that i just can't escape


maybe i was meant to drift and detach, (just say, say now)
orbiting a dream that i'll never catch (how to get out)
or maybe i was meant to drown in the snow (say now, say how)
a snow of regrets i can never let go of (to break these chains down)
just say, say now,
how to get out?
say now, say how,
to break these chains down

say now (prod. 4lexf and jang0 beats)

lyrics:

intro:
someone once told that me you’ll find snakes everywhere
in the wild, behind glass, and beneath warm smiles
but a snake is a snake, no matter the skin
you can't teach it kindness, you can’t will it to change
it coils the way it was born to
even if it wanted to be different,  
it wouldn’t know how to

verse 1:
vulture eyes, you circled 'till i fell
picked me clean, then wished me well
you never smiled unless i bled
but now i’m numb to all you said
chameleon, you shifted every season
twisting truth without a reason
you made me doubt the air i breathe
then vanished like a ghost beneath

hook:
you were my earth, now you're just a shell
you were my heart, now it's scattered everywhere
at least that's what i thought  
'cause i couldn't see through your plot
you held me close, just to watch me break
fed me lies, now i’m wide awake
i gave you my soul, and you tore it apart
guess you never loved me from the start


verse 2:
leviathan, the way you stabbed my
back then left me out to dry
you never wanted me to succeed
but it doesn't matter, now i'm freed
cuttlefish, the way you changed your colors
hid your true self behind closed shutters
you made it seem like i was the worst
kept picking at my seams 'till they burst

hook:
you were my earth, now you're just a shell
you were my heart, now it's scattered everywhere
at least that's what i thought
'cause i couldn't see through your plot
you held me close, just to watch me break
fed me lies, now i’m wide awake
i gave you my soul, and you tore it apart
guess you never loved me from the start

leviathan (prod. chill sebs x rrarebear)

lyrics:
verse 1:
i never gave a damn for the waiting phase
pacing through these grayscale days
laptop hum and coffee haze
the loop rewinds, my mind decays
alarm goes off, but i let it ring
scroll past texts like they still mean a thing
high after high, but i’m still vacant
ghosts in the glass, all cracked and ancient
bum a cig, drown it in coffee
same damn day, just a newer copy
we live in loops, and loops just stall
they pull, they bend, then break us all
and i gave too much, now it’s hollow pain
tryna sew it shut but the threads don’t chain
friends fed up, and i wear the shame 
guess i’m still learning how to play the game, yeah
in my dreams, glimpses of you
in my point of view, they make peace ensue
but peace don't last when the sun comes through
just dust on the blinds and a distant hue
sent the darkness on it's way
made christmas out of doomsday
maybe we were meant to be a cliche
but you were my only gateway
your bloody eyes, hounding souls
bony hands, seeking control
bewitching, magnetic pole
holding out enchanted charcoal
who are you and have we even met?
enclosed in my mind like a cassette
predisposed to fill my gauge of regret
teeth razor sharp like a bayonet


verse 2:
i’ve been sleeping in jeans, waking up in static
memories loop like broken cinematic
half-lit screen and a mind full of traffic
songs on repeat 'cause the silence is tragic
i keep on wondering that if we'd ever meet
would your eyes glow of deceit?
would the meeting be bittersweet?
or would your presence be obsolete?
i don't know, but i'd like to find out
feel like somewhere i took the wrong route
and as a result, i helplessly reside
in an inferior version of my life
the boards don't creak, they just give way
usher's house feels closer each day
the windows dim, no fight, no plea
and poe’s dread settles in me
i see your shadow on the bedroom wall
whispers trailing down the empty hall
clocks spin backward, time's in thrall
i brace for the hit but there's no fall
my holy mary
alluring scent of strawberry
are you here to write my obituary?
or will you hold my hand on this wasted prairie?
yeah, life's a death race
with a crux that can't be placed
even in a restless headspace
might you run, you'll get outchased, yeah
stared too long at the bedroom wall
saw your shape start to twist and crawl
but i'd still give it my all
just to hear your call, just to hear your call

outro:
just, just to hear your call
burn my voice out through the crawl
just, just to hear your call
just, just to hear your call
i'd risk the fall
knees in dirt, i would lose it all
lose it all

hear your call (boyfifty)

lyrics:
she been sleepin' with the light on, says the dark feels wrong
but i think it's ‘cause her thoughts been heavy all along
tv's low, just flickers in the background haze
we don’t talk about the shift, just get lost in the days

i wash dishes just to hear some kind of sound
we move like strangers that the silence surrounds
she used to light up, now her eyes look through
used to hold me close, now she pulls straight through 

we don’t argue, we don’t even speak that much
but the tension in the room could crush a coffee cup
i 'been waitin' on a spark that ain't comin' back
she 'been scrollin' through the void, never lookin' back

there’s a chill in the bed where the warmth should be
and a note on the fridge saying “don’t wait for me”
i nod like it's cool, play along like it's fine
but my heartbeat skippin’ every couple of lines, yeah

bridge:
every couple of lines
every couple of lines
skipping
skipping
skipping every couple of lines, yeah

every couple of lines
every couple of lines
skipping
skipping
skipping every couple of lines, yeah

verse 2:
i been scrollin' through the past like a photo roll
tryna find that version of her i used to hold
she got friends now that i don’t even know
and a laugh that ain't mine, but she let it show

she don’t touch me the same, just a tap, then gone
and her eyes say more than what her mouth been on
i ask where she’s been, she just shrugs and shifts
and i smile like i don’t feel the obvious rift

she sleepin’ on the edge, back turned like a wall
i could scream in this house and she wouldn't hear at all
my phone dry, but hers always lit
she say it’s work, but i ain’t buyin’ it

been erasing my name from the plans we drew
heard her humming in the kitchen to a brand new tune
i guess it’s over, but we ain't say it yet
just two ghosts in a place where love used to rest

outro:
and it rests
it rests
it rests

rarsh

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