Soularizm (Me, Myself & I)

Dinner for One

This is a little snapshot of the last few months for me. The past year has been one that has been wonderful, surprising, full of new developments and blessings, and also a challenging and turbulent time. Between this and Dinner for One, my last project, has not been much time, but I have been recording endlessly trying to capture feelings of hope and doubt whilst maneuvering a new and challenging experience.

This may not appeal to most people, seeing a snippet of someone's life. All of my projects thus far have been mostly snippets or snapshots of certain periods and moments of my life. I find I have a project for most turning points and significant changes. Previously, it was the change or upgrade from my previous role to a new role professionally, a move cross country, a kind of leap of faith filled with hope, optimism and, well, faith. It’s gotten me to the last step in achieving my goal of being a lawyer, with two main obstacles left in my way. Now, I find myself at the end of this step, kind of feeling the pressure and stress, and I find my inner life and outer life colliding when under strain and pressure, manifesting itself in ways that perhaps doesn't make sense to others, usually with a focus on things that might not be directly to do with the issue at hand, but still important to me that I would like to resolve.

Figuring out our place in the world, coming to terms with our strengths and weaknesses, our patterns and faulty thinking, and handling the chaotic nature of the world and its problems whilst trying to plot our own course can be daunting and sometimes even terrifying. This project is another deep dive into those themes and feelings, which again may not appeal to most people, since seeing a stranger’s story as he delves into his personal challenges and thoughts on these things might make you think “why should I care?”, but hey, if you relate, maybe you’ll dig this project too.

Anyways, here's a look at my inner abode these past few months. I hope y'all dig it.

Slightly Dazed and Possibly Confused (Mixtape)

These are a collection of tracks over the past few months, both celebratory and reflective. I’ve managed to succeed in a leap of faith in my professional life and accomplished something that for a long time I didn’t think was possible for me to accomplish. After a painstaking ten or so years of doubting myself and limiting my potential, I’ve managed to be called to the bar and have been working as a lawyer for the past two months. I touch upon what that meant to me in a few tracks here.

I also reflect on the journey I’ve been on since 2008 or maybe since 2012, how life changed so dramatically but spurned me on to put effort into a passion that might never have kindled if not for these traumatic, life-altering but possibly needed events. The pursuit of both my passion and my career has dictated my life immensely, and though some things I never thought likely to happen came true, I realize perhaps the journey really is part of the joy rather than simply reaching the destination. 

Though this project is another haphazard collection of tracks over an extended period of time, these set of tracks are some of my best work so far, and I am immensely proud of the progress I’ve made this year, both musically and professionally. 

Have I reached the fulfillment of all of my goals? No. Not yet. Can we give ourselves credit for the progress we’ve made so far, even if we’re not exactly where we would like to be? Yes. I think so.

Journey // Destination (Mixtape)

Q4: Garbage Time

Sweet Escape (Old 2018 Recording)

Lyrics:

Everybody gotta live right?
And everybody gotta die
Everybody wants love
Everybody lies,
Every once in a while,
It’s me myself and I
It’s all good baby
It’s just another phase of life,


Me myself and I, fly, high, skipping neath the sky,
If I crash and die, may I, find myself spending the night in a garden,
a moment of sparring passed,
pride from a father’s glance,
forgiveness from those I’ve clashed,
I glance at blue skies and proceed to ask,
Will i ever find peace at last?
War with my mind, flashes of the present in my past,
war with the devil, lord aren’t we trouble,
proceed to wash the sleep away yet keep the stubble,
I wonder at the bite that sent eve down from heaven,
and if an atom’s weight of good from me will send forth blessings,
Back before the whip crack broke the shepherd’s back and the burden crashed,
I wonder if the flash of light had in fact caused a man to snap,
If I had class I’d rap maths but I spit flasks,
intoxicating blasts of a man who once spazzed,
and now reacts in riches dashed, the faults attract,
me myself and I, flying high,
skipping neath the sky,
if I crash and die, may I, find myself surprised,
 
Everybody gotta live right?
And everybody gotta die
Everybody wants love
Everybody lies,
Every once in a while,
It’s me myself and I
It’s all good baby
It’s just another phase of life,

I say this is just a part of my path,
but when the action is detrimental, can i still do the math?
Does it still add up, is that jazz?
Fuck it man, let me stash,
the L’s in my pocket, fuck it ima rock it,
add a V to it so no one can fucking talk shit,
i’m a lochness, a monster to which rumours be flocking,
Ali in the ring with Fury i’m boxing,
me, myself and I, ain’t nobody out here harder to find,
big up those who’ve vibed and still wanna ride,
but i’m finding fewer and fewer these days,
ain’t they fault, it ain’t easy to say,
i’ve been hard to be around, kind of like the rain,
sometimes welcome, other times cause dismay
so it’s me myself and I, flying high,
skipping neath the sky,
if I crash and die, may I, find myself surprised,

Everybody gotta live right?
And everybody gotta die
Everybody wants love
Everybody lies,
Every once in a while,
It’s me myself and I
It’s all good baby
It’s just another phase of life,

Me, Myself and I (Prod. by eeryskies)

Lyrics:

I want to wake up,

Every day I wake up in the morning and ponder on the next move,
on the next groove, the next beat, and on my next blues,
Two left shoes, so I shuffle somewhat awkwardly,
wanna wake up to a sun so bright it removes the monstrosity,
I’m honestly a mad man, no I’m rad man, no I’m bad man, bipolar yea i can’t stand,
what is it that moves mountains,
what is it that destroys bad men,
a tyrant calls his people rats, ends up in a sewer damn,
ok, i got an issue with the misuse of tools that could inform instead of confuse,
they want us divided you want big proof,
look within yourself and tell me it ain’t truth,
I reflect on my younger self, and wonder when i changed,
i deflect what my anger dealt and ponder on the blame,
truly they confuse me I thought that we done came,
to a place where the hate has eroded but it’s still the same,

I wanna wake up, 

I’m part of the problem, consuming the same shit,
Our minds have been polluted, our souls waiting for the lift,
I wonder if this is a gift based on what i spit,
And whether the spliffs i smoked caused my mind to split,
I criss cross with big talk tho i’m but a man,
full of contradictions, if you with me overstand,
undermine the man and perhaps i’ll understand,
I ain’t shit but a dude who thinks on the bigger plan,
Lately I ain’t been praying and wonder on the cause,
I seek God and want love but find myself so damn flawed,
I yearn for truth yet seem to be stuck on what is not,
Forgive me, I ain’t ought but a man speaking thoughts,

I wanna wake up

Wake Up (Prod. by haji)

No Turning Back (Minutes And Seconds) (Prod. A13 Beats)

Regression (Prod. Impala Drummerz)

Lyrics (roughly):

Sometimes I don’t know what I want to write,
Open up a notepad, fill it up with light,
I just wanna run back, a time before the fight,
Time before the plight, I’m so wrong but it’s right,
about now where i pop me a pill,
not the happy kind, one to fix the mind,
though i wonder if i stop would i feel a thrill,
alright, alright, let the words spill,
if i could, i’d rewind the hands of time,
to a place where i’d find the mistakes not in line,
i’ve made haste, to design,
raps for those who living blind,
trust me i too am looking for a sign,
cautiously optimistic that it’d all work out,
figure it’s gotta if i can live with this doubt,
5 years spitting, nobody gotta shout,
that the dude feeling low ever since he left the house,

Sometimes I don’t know what I want to write,
Open up a notepad, fill it up with light,
I just wanna run back, a time before the fight,
Time before the plight, I’m so wrong but it’s right,
Sometimes I don’t know what I want to write,
Open up a notepad, fill it up with light,
I just wanna run back, a time before the fight,
Time before the plight, I’m so wrong but it’s right,

they say people only in your life for certain seasons,
and things fall apart for many different reasons,
i wonder sometimes what our lives may be teaching,
cycles and spirals, i guess only us can give it meaning,
and as my heart boom baps with thunderous beating,
and as i record boom bap tracks to raise my ceiling,
pursuing a career that i wonder if i’m nearing,
the next stage, low vibrations got me seeing,
two ways for this to go, up or down, no other road,
when joe blow turns to raw soul then turns to mr. woe,
but the path he done tread got him feeling a bit low,
Sometimes I don’t know what I want to write,
Open up a notepad, fill it up with light,
I just wanna run back, a time before the fight,
Time before the plight, I’m so wrong but it’s right,

Low (Prod. by lowtyde)

Lyrics:

Crept up to the tip top of a cliff rock,
Slipped up, fell down then picked up,
Y’all know I’m just messing round with the flow with some slick talk,
Pushing pens like a bull in a barn,
I ain’t spinning no yarns,
Alarm clocks ringing telling me to come on,
Hit the Stu than I’m back on the yard,
Y’all know I’m batting double 0s spitting sevens, my word is bond,
Surviving the times waiting for Nasir, 
Word to Palestine y’all know freedom is near,
It’s a mad mad world when white folk cheer,
The murder of a people who’s color ain’t clear,
But ima let y’all digest I’ll divest the mess we under a test,
Thank God for the quest in time we set,
Libyan kid out in the west, making friends outta enemies, enemies outta friends,
It’s a beautiful thing, unfolding of wings,
I guess it ain’t over till the fat lady sings,
So we had us a fling, then I gave her a ring,
She turned this pied piper kinda pauper into a king,
I breathe the heat of the sahara desert onto these beats,
Amateur rapper turning master with some    elegant speech,
Lawyer by day, rapper poet by night,
Is that a contradiction cuz I’m getting ignant when I write

Flirting with the thought that I can kill shit,
Build shit, masochist with a flow indulging,
Old school but I guess that’s my age showing,
If y’all ain’t like it I guess I’ll debate growing,
My hair long and tats on my face 
till I’m chased by nightmares of some pills blowing,
My mind to smithereens, but fuck it I’ve smoked weed,
Tripped on lsd till I couldn’t sleep,
Chewed on some ketamine, mia on md, 
Shrooms to the moon so I guess I can see,
These xanny popping youngins doing the same shit,
One piece of advice, wait till you're 26,
But anyways I digress I’m just spitting a sesh,
Flowing I’m fresh, I’m just easing the stress,
Thank God for hip hop and the outlet it gives,
you know when we ignorant it’s still some real shit

Ignant (Real Shit) (Prod. by cargo beats)

Lyrics

I be fronting with these flows,
I be rolling with the bros,
She be playing with her nose,
Same time I wait on her blow,
Ok, everybody harassing me get off my dick,
I’m on Yosemite way I’m on top of the cliff,
Shit, I guess I’m lit way I’m ashing off this spliff,
Shit, it went out an hour ago same time as yo bitch,
I be rolling with the crew,
Tell shawty what it do,
Pass her round like the flu,
Ok that shit nasty, like ew,
Im too rude,
Unlikely dude,
I give a bitch sumthn to chew,
Ok I’ll give my dues,
What’s it like in my shoes,
Shit it’s pretty cool
Fingertips be turning blue
Way i be counting all this floos,

Ok, ok, she just wanna ride,
I’m just tryna fly,
We be getting high,
Shawty acting shy,
We be rolling by,
I’m tip toeing while the quill blowing I’m flowing in the moment I’m zoning she jonesing for kinder surprise,

Come and dip within my pool of thought,
I’ve caught a cold, the flow indelible man this shit hot,
I’ve fought a dose from foes that flocked man let them rot,
Ok, I guess I gotta find em a new job,
Mic check 1, 2,
Tell me what you wan do,
I ain’t stressing the blessings gon come when they meant to,
The world mental,
And yo girl wan give me dental,
Im just giving her the doja her cat is your rental,

Im too rude,
Unlikely dude,
I give a bitch sumthn to chew,
Ok I’ll give my dues, 
What’s it like in my shoes,
Shit it’s pretty cool
Fingertips be turning blue
Way I’m counting all this floos,

Rude (prod. by Haake)

Lyrics:

Knock knock on heaven’s door,
I be running through the gauntlet while I weather storms,
Rain downpours yet I blaze yes saliva scorch,
Setting scores,  balance in the force yet the dark side called,
Vader returning to the light,
I might dribble and fight while spitting on mics setting the spike,
fronting on all these type, beats reaching to new heights, please,
Yall tricked by they mirage, hypebeasts,
6’2, balling on fools who be 6 foot too,
I’m just tryna make sense outta situations that had me flunking in school,
Yet now I’m working through the flames like a hydro tool,
Duty calls, blacking out working my ass off,
while you stoop to lows, I’m nasa yes blast off,
Houston we got a problem,
How a dude from Libya fronting like your questions he can solve em,
But I ain’t ye, and I ain’t sway,
I’m just working to a future one objective away,
I’m walking in a world that’s set on seeing me in a grave,
We all characters on this stage, 
Collective conscious got me nauseous,
How I still handle my biz I guess that’s boss shit,
Watch this,
Tread on my path? Be cautious,
All praise to the most high, he got this,

Hope and Glory (Prod. by Skeebs)

Lyrics:

Everybody gotta hope, everybody wanna float,
Everybody wanna fly, ain’t nobody wanna die,
Only some wanna ride, i guess I ain’t surprised,
 everybody, everybody, everybody need to cry,

Elevating on the scene, I spit serene dreams,
I go for broke be amazed how far I delve deep,
I guess I need to keep pushing past all of the bleats,
Of sheep I keep spitting idyllic bars like peace,
I been thinking that I might be killing folk,
But honestly I spit thoughts unprovoked,
I ain’t one to gloat and I like to keep hope,
That one day I’ll find the way to be mentioned with the goats,
An animal I’m Hannibal lecter I’m eating rappers,
Candy ass bastards, I’m a golden era rapper,
Ferrari rocher I can do this all day,
Per favor you say, mi amor ok,
Let me tell you man this life thing ain’t no joke,
One day you’re up the next you’re down just go for broke,
This flame I stoke I do to choke,
Via fumes exhumed to wisen your oak,
I ain’t been much of a show off,
Unless it’s in bars I’d rather just hold off,
Praise the most high and in tracks just go off,
Hold on, this the same guy who said he pours up,
Creative liberty in truth I’m sitting prettily,
In an apartment overlooking a lot they park in,
Think I’m on my way, a long leap from misery,
If you ain’t there, patience, keep walking,

Everybody gotta hope, everybody wanna float,
Everybody wanna fly, ain’t nobody wanna die,
Only some wanna ride, i guess I ain’t surprised,
everybody, everybody, everybody need to cry,

Everybody (prod. by marow)

Lyrics:

Alone

Raw Soul Verse:

Treading on a path woven before the call,
I ain’t sure of the toll but pray I never fall,
If I try and ball know I just played a role,
Starving for food for the soul to make the thing whole,
Brick wall after brick wall but I ain’t falter,
The test had me solid like the rock of Gibraltar,
tho I been blue with this mess like Walter,
Knock knock til the chalk drops and my palms are calloused,
No malice while they stock drops I caught flocks take sips from the chalice,
We ain’t in Kansas anymore Alice, 
How I turn a passion to a talent,
Still I’d like to turn a hovel to a palace,
Wizardry like Oz yes I got flaws,
Those the terms and the clause,
Paid many a cost to shoot a shot,
Lost a clock, so I wasted time feeling like I was just a pawn,
I been called lazy and it might be the truth,
But they never seen me put hours into the booth,
Nights spent writing just to spit out my views,
Some blues, some dreams and some observations astute,
Achoo, bless me or curse me if you like,
Outta sight outta mind so the shit is alright,
I take enough lefts, I’ll end up going right,
How a man gon take a leap if he scared of heights,
That one’s rhetorical, hopefully I’ve stoically lived this lifetime,
that’s a million dollar question with few lifelines,
it’s the right time, for this man to  take the leap to walk a tight line,  you can find my mind resting where the wild things are,
I was born a novice but I’ve come quite far,
I saw, a vision that I’ll keep close to my heart,
A spark of hope that blazed bright within the nighttime, argh

80k Verse:

Sitting alone
With my phone
I’m in the zone
With time to just blow
But I’m prone
To falling deep down a hole
I know
All the dough that I want
In my dreams, 
I’m so scared, that this fantasy never see the Light of reality 
My family countin on me, and all I ever given is pain with just tears, and I just want to give it up
But if i give it up, then they’ll just give it up too
And my friend, what you been up to? 
Since the day I fucked up, I’ve always stayed blue
And I’ve been meaning to say to you, 
So many things, but I just wrote it down and burned it, I hope you do it big dude
And if you ever need me ima a call away
We can smoke up til we fill up hundred ash trays
But if you wanna stay this way 
That’s okay, I respect if that is what your heart say
I got a little smoke in me so ima keep it flowing 
Sometimes I don’t know where it is that I continue going
Heart is getting colder and some friends around me freezing
Logic feel so relative cuz I don’t get the reason
Met a few friends, burned a couple good bridges 
Fresh new bruises, a few reopened gashes
Light it up to ashes, set aside in boxes
Got no time to stressin, when the money never sleepin
book a night in Westin
Buffets is I’m craving 
Outside tub while is temperature is freezing 
Never ever let me go 
I’ll be reminiscing 
We always moving forward 
Even when we backtracking
I’ll be right here just microphone checking
It’s helping me to light my shoulder full heavy burdens
And I’ll just do me till my very last breath 
Till my whole shows over 
And we closing up the curtains

Alone (with 80k)

Lyrics:

As I stumble down a road of yellow bricks,
I find myself caught yet again by the sphinx,
It’s a shame that the game can cause a man to trip,
It ain’t something that I can say that I have quit,
I may be better off today than where I started,
At times the depth of the fall is what made me an artist,
I’ve often told myself it ain’t my fault but honest,
I’m just taking a sip from my own impure tonic,
Chronically mistaken I’m taken by her mystique,
I get a lift from the sonics then my soul turns weak,
The high has peaked, partly meek,
The fall happens before we leap,
And after hardship indeed does come some ease,
Though through desire we may sacrifice some peace,
If we play might as well play for keeps,
is it worth it in the moment if the thrill is cheap?
What if what we seek isn’t always what we need?
I guess I’m laying myself bare upon this beat,
Good intentions in spite of this honest speech,
To each they own and to everyone they each,
I’m just a dude who’s soul been opened to cherish my grief, sheesh,

There’s a lover in distress, a making of a mess,
No gold to be found within her treasure chest,
But maybe the finesse is found in the final breath,
Sometimes we play checkers, other times we play chess,
And though we all fall it’s ok to take a rest,
Less is more, more in store, or more or less,
And what they say they may say in jest,
But just remember if they leave, God knows best,

Gold in our actions but I’m as flawed as any,
how often have I failed, heh one too many,
If you paid a pretty penny then every cent turns to plenty,
Yet I retain hope, so what does that really make me?
A sinner who prays, gives time of day to make right his ways, 
Give thanks and praise, 
Trust, though we struggle there’s light in the tunnel,
Pray I don’t speak too soon and get swallowed up by the jungle, 
May God make us humble and forgive us our my tumbles,
Pray any struggles our way don’t make us fall and crumble,
There’s a rumble in the city and we may not ever undo,
What’s been done but keep on going till that final sun dawns,

There’s a lover in distress, a making of a mess,
No gold to be found within her treasure chest,
But maybe the finesse is found in the final breath,
Sometimes we play checkers, other times we play chess,
And though we all fall it’s ok to take a rest,
Less is more, more in store, or more or less,
And what they say they may say in jest,
But just remember if they leave, God knows best,

Tonic Water (Prod. mennace)

Lyrics:

I been moving all these tracks on a path to enhance,
a mood too advanced, attract a couple fans,
i ain’t finna crash, or perhaps i will man,
a few good truths, out the mold i blast,
a couple new rhythms, listen, doom scrolling the new prison,
no queue skipping, put the work in, man your dues missing,
i make a prayer every day to stay on course,
of course, detours make you stray but the torque,
in your step may stay the flames while you seek the source,
light in the dark, dark in the light, there’s balance in the force,
i had fled the scene my darkest dreams caused my peace to pause, halt, recede,
like a balding teen i couldn’t keep a piece of me from falling free,
chronically, I fully deemed myself a beast but patiently i found my niche,
took a leap of faith to reach, flaws indeed, built hope in the means, many prayers, a little bit of belief,
halt my speech, i ain’t really teach, much i’m much too weak,
catapult to another week, do this for my soul, forget you peeps,
i ain’t playing with my soul, that shits for keeps,
i ain’t do this for the streets, it’s more for my peace,
what i lack in cheese will come back in leaps,
wait till i stack the green, like a tree these leaves,
after the spring comes summer, soul got that heat,
Soul’s tumbled through a few blues clues,
we a few good dudes, light one up for ya mood,
how am i so nice when i’m being so rude,
this here ain’t nothing but a few good truths,

cruising through the city in the night time,
blazing that gouda you’da liked flying,
couple good truths, walking solo yet a brute,
might sight out the troops, you wanna truce?
all i got is a shot to top my stock duck a flock i’m coming in hot,
y’all in shock how i talk like i’m finna stunt crops,
thank God, Van City, Tripoli, the hometowns i rock,

Few Good Truths (Prod. by Yugoki)

Boom (with 80k)

No Doubt (with Feelin Best) (Prod. by Feelin Best)

The Good And The Crooks (prod By JLY Beats)

All Around (prod By Docent)

Sweet (prod By Phoenix Flame Beats)

Faded (prod By Docent)

The Sun (Prod. By Lucas Quinn)

Peace (prod By Flipmagic)

Simple Breeze (prod. by guarvb)

To The Top (Prod. by Kenneth English)

How's That Sound (Prod. by noizy)

lyrics:

Young fool,
Feeling like I’m throwing few one twos,
Some shit too late to undo,
Some shit got me type confused,
Like how did I pull through,
And how did this come true,
And what did I lose,
And what is there to prove,
I’m just tryna find a way,
A way to escape,
Is it a little way too late,
Don’t I got enough on my plate,
Why you looking in distaste,
I’m tasteful my plate full,
I’m hunting for a hundred damn thousand man I’m wasteful,
Looking up to the sky,
Sometimes I wonder why,
I deserved another try,
After all that I have sighed,
I’m feeling like the meaning behind my dreaming got me in the deep end,
But I’m still afloat I cope with hope got the boat I’m soaked,
But alls good i just don’t wanna boast,

man life ain’t been this good in a while,
Got reasons to smile,
I dialed the maker now and He sent paths through trials,
One day I hope to wander through halls with marble tiles,

As time ticks I take a second to tote sticks,
Pens and swords I hold crisp, where y’all pick,
Man I’m stumbling but hunting, through night I steer bricks,
Not the drugs but more the weight of fate that holds bliss,
Man I’m grasping at the wish, I’m fumbling with the missed grip I itch,
To turn back the tides of time I can’t find myself sublime unless I return to what was once mine,
I can’t help but state these things,
I’m a lost soul Lord can’t you grant me wings,
Take me to the tip of the peak where you forgive my sins,
I ain’t bad Lord I’m just not disciplined,
But I guess the cries I sigh are whispers in the night,
In time I’ll find it was alright,
What can I say I’m not deep in the plight,
My brothers out there I hold wishes for your might,

man life ain’t been this good in a while,
Got reasons to smile,
I dialed the maker and He sent paths through trials,
One day I hope to wander through halls with marble tiles,

A While (prod. by lowtyde)

2012 (Prod. by NB Collective)

Something hopeful for others who found themselves at a stage where they couldn't see a path forward...a brief look at my last ten years...and when i say brief i mean brief lol. There's a lot left unsaid in this track but I wanted to focus on the positives rather than the negatives or more difficult parts of the story. 

Anyways, hope y'all dig this one.

Lyrics:


2008, young teen laying bricks,
Moved from snow to the desert to a land of lost bliss,
Music blaring off the disc,
Never knew what he had,
Never knew how much he’d miss,
In a home unknown he found some bros and more,
They gave him his first gift, a mobile phone that played tunes he could store,
And what’s more, they were bros to the core,
Haven’t had the same kinda homies since,
Those years were a gift,
Living in a land they now call lawless,
Dictators no doctors, a hidden gem not flawless,
But the people he was around were bosses,
Couple years passed, formed bonds that may outlast,
Most of em grown we got old so fast,
Those days were a blast our schools final class,
It’s only up from here, there’s no looking back,

At a time I was hopeless,
Life can change at any moment,
At a time I was broken,
Thank God keep your hope in,

2010, damn man, where we at?
The UK where you’ve prayed you’ll find your place at,
First week there met a fine thing,
Damn son is this where I have my first fling,
Got a couple daps from the guys, shit you know I was shy, but took her up to my sty,
Fast forward couple months I’m sleeping too much,
Cutting class, getting high and fucked up,
But shit it’s all good it’s just the first year,
Had a homie from high school staying near,
Getting back to work im getting my shit turnt,
Second year starting to feel a little burnt,
But shit it’s all good I know my worth,
Or thought I did till my homies flung me to the dirt,
Third year is the one that broke me,
Looked at my reflection couldn’t see the old me,

At a time I was hopeless,
Life can change at any moment,
At a time I was broken,
Thank God keep your hope in,

Man, if you could see me now,
The journey from third year to the new lawyer in town,
Rapping on the side whilst working on the sound,
At a time I couldn’t even see myself getting out,
Psychosis came knocking,
And it almost never left,
The boat it kept rocking,
Hit me with a right and a left,
But man I kept walking,
Took time to take care of myself,
Now I’m called to the Bar,
Y’all should have seen how I wept,
Back in the day man I never saw the way that I could get to this stage,
But this life is a play, and so I kept on playing,
Put my faith in God and kept myself praying,
Man ain’t this thing so odd how we find ourselves waiting,
For a turn in the tide,
A rise before the pride,
Sign after sign and time after time I tried and i tried now my road is inclined,
So word to the wise, and word to the worried,
Don’t be in a rush don’t be in a hurry,
Take time to decide, take pride in the journey,
What will be will be, never late never early,
So word to the wise, and word to the worried,
Don’t be in a rush don’t be in a hurry,
Take time to decide, take pride in the journey,
What will be will be, never late never early,

At a time I was hopeless,
Life can change at any moment,
At a time I was broken,
Thank God keep your hope in,

Journey // Destination (Prod. by B Sound Beatz)

Lyrics:

One day at a time,
Or one rhyme to define,
I’ve come back to the climb,
I done broken my mind,
I done torn my insides,
Flesh and spirit designed,
Hand craft by the divine,
I’ve come to take mine,
I’ve come to turn minds,
We at the turn of the tide,
The moral in a decline,
The road ahead isn’t fine,
The strong doing the time,
The weak leading the blind,
No leaders to find,
Algorithm a lie,
Our minds being fried,
Connections retired,
Isolation the era,
No time to rewind,
Alienate we despairing,
I’m cool but they fairer,
Only fans but no carers,
TikTok till the terror,
Hold the mic in the hand,
I got more to demand,
Timing tight in the plan,
Rhyming like I’m entranced,
Writing like it’s enhanced,
Flying back to Japan,
Changing sense for the yen,
They do it all for the gram,
Blowing bucks but no hunting,
Speaking smart but it’s dumbing,
Peace deprived shit is crumbling,
Still genocide that they funding, 
Spreading lies shits insulting,
The best of us they be culling,
All of us blindly running,
Fuck it give me a hundred,
Everyday I step onward,
Going back going forward,
Heart beating tho dormant,
Crossing paths cutting corners,
Living past what my form is,
Foreign soil ain’t where home is,
Sure we toil shit I lawyer,
Still I scribe like a warrior,
One day at a time,
Or one rhyme to define,
I’ve come back just to climb,
They try breaking my spine,
They lie manipulate the minds,
Flesh and spirit deprived,
System set by design,
Fuck it we still fighting,Everyday we enlightened,
The light is still brightening,
Our souls will be heightened,
The love will be everlasting,
Do it all cuz of passion,
No dollars but I’m still cashing,
The prize ahead what I’m banking,

Terra (Prod. by Bobby G)

Monk (Prod. by Colin D)

This was the very first song I recorded. As you might be able to tell, in some ways, a lot has changed, and in others, not much has. 

I decided to upload this to show the progress I've made technically speaking, whilst also shedding light on how this road to music started in the first place. 

It's rough, amateur and definitely not that great. Yet, at the time, I was still super proud of this, and it motivated me to keep making music until I can reach a level I know isn't beyond me.

Anyways, here's a look at my first song. Hope y'all enjoy and don't judge too harshly.

Inner Thoughts (2018 Recording)

Lyrics:

Checks on a list of my need to do,
I be running through the days with not many clues,
Got a lot to prove but I don’t really wanna make moves,
Lately, I been seeing blue, I been seeing blue, x2

Time and time again find myself losing it,
This same situation, lost and isolated,
I be raiding, through the snippets, wasting,
All my time, waiting, not so patient,
Encased in,
A bitter shell of the man I once was,
Fake it till you make it but the fake has won,
Can’t even remember how I felt once,
I been called real but really it’s all a con,
Put me on or put me down it’s all the same,
I been blamed I been shamed I’ve even been insane,
Leaning on this crutch when I really need a cane,
Slowly gaining weight thinking shit who gives a fuck, I mean wait,
I been saved, I been cursed, I haven’t prayed, it’s been worse, 
I need to change, you’ve changed too much,
Man you just won’t budge,
One trick pony, slowly losing all the,
Progress you’ve made only,
To chip a heart all too stoney,

It ain’t that bad right?
I mean you came a long way?
What’s a couple rumbles along the way?
Take it step by step, day by day,
You gon be straight
You gon find your grace,

Checks on a list of my need to do,
I be running through the days with not many clues,
Got a lot to prove but I don’t really wanna make moves,
Lately, I been seeing blue, I been seeing blue, x2

Blue (Prod. by ARVM Beats and JLY Beats)

Trash track but I upload everything I record at one point or another...

Lyrics:

Throw me a bone,
Living through a phone,
Delve into your soul,
Living on your own, 
find its yet to fly
yet so hard you try,
Made the angels cry,
we multiply,
I didn’t die to live a lie I will define my truths to find,
I will reach far, my eyes to spy the golden sky my heart to rise,
What’s in your mind,
The golden prize,
Today we ride,

Back to the show, young dude,
Settings tracks on the go, I got maximum glow,
Uncool,
Spitting facts with the flow,
Undo, cracks that have grown,
Come through, you ain’t cracked all this code,
Tracks that I’ve thrown,
Living while I’ve flown,
ain’t high but I might be stoned

Tomorrow’s nigh,
Today we fly,
Tomorrow’s heights,
The sun does shine,
Work through the night,
Till I do find,
My mind’s delight,
All through this rhyme, 
I write in spite of shite the blight tries to hype,
Fuck all your gripes I’m here to fight,
Through your trite type of chitter chatter,
The rain pitter patters while spit sits and splatters
Over your spiffy glamor,

Back to the show, young dude,
Settings tracks on the go, I got maximum glow,
Uncool,
Spitting facts with the flow,
Undo, cracks that have grown,
Come through, you ain’t cracked all this code,
Tracks that I’ve thrown,
Living while I’ve flown,
ain’t high but I might be stoned

Shit you know I’d rather,
Fluff and lather my dinner platter,
I need some counsel, yet you’ve shattered,
The pact we’ve gathered, I’m up on Saturn,
Ticking time till I tip you tattle,
Sitting silent since I’ve battled,
Now sometimes I seek her,
Yes I’ve yapped I ain’t no leader,
Packing punches for the plight I’ve petered,
Peter Pan ain’t got shit on how I never land, 
I ain’t no mighty man but y’all be silent lambs,
As I Hannibal your heart’s demands,

Back to the show, young dude,
Settings tracks on the go, I got maximum glow,
Uncool,
Spitting facts with the flow,
Undo, cracks that have grown,
Come through, you ain’t cracked all this code,
Tracks that I’ve thrown,
Living while I’ve flown,
ain’t high but I might be stoned,

Ain't High But I Might Be Stoned (Prod. by Manuel)

Lyrics:

Breathing yet I’m sighing,
Sometimes feel like I’m flying,
Down, 
Striving when I’m trying,
When I, rise up from the
Ground

Ground, running up the city but I’m floating on,
Down, shush don’t make a peep don’t make a,
Sound, every time I rise I feel I’m running this,
Town, lately maybe I won’t need that thing they call a,
Crown, ok let’s change the tempo,
I ain’t into no damn bimbos
They peeping through your window,
Do they see what you be into,
I’m tall but won’t belittle,
Your lines be like riddles,
Wonder what I have meant to,
You, no longer feeling blue,
Ok that ain’t the truth,
But I’ll see you when I do,
I’m so see through,
I’ve become so rude,
Taking detours,
I ain’t so sure,

Breathing yet I’m sighing,
Sometimes feel like I’m flying,
Down, 
Striving when I’m trying,
When I, rise up from the
Ground,

Ground (prod. deadwn)

Another crappy track for you to listen to five seconds of and skip. I mean, I'm really on a roll with these shitty demos huh?

Mixed Bag (Prod. by pilot kid)

Lyrics:

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel like flying
Sometimes feel like I’m dying
Sometimes I feel like trying 
Sometimes I feel so tired of rhyming 
I’ve been fired I’ve been fired up
I’ve been quiet, I’ve been shut up,
I’ve been shut in, I’ve been fucked up,
I’ve been tucked in, I’ve been tuckered out,
Roaming around zoned in and out,
Broken with doubt, focused like shouts,
or shots of adrenaline, methamphetamine,
way i’ve been so high i had my hands in a cloud,
living on cloud 9 flying above the crowds,
she got around, so now she’s feeling down,
i just wanna tell you you a star don’t ever doubt,
like a comet in the sky crash landed in your house,
so dry your eyes, or let it all out,
we all children of Adam figuring it out,

Sometimes I feel like flying,
Sometimes feel like I’m dying,
Sometimes feel like trying,
Sometimes I feel so tired of rhyming,
I been fired I’ve been fired up,
I’ve been trying to become higher up,
I’ve been tired of giving in, giving up,
Living in a tired rut, trying to cover up,
damage behind eyes that tried too much,
Enough,

Sometimes I feel like i’m winning,
Sometimes I feel like I’m sinning,
Sometimes I feel like i’m with it,
Sometimes I feel lost a cynic just tryna mimic those who still living,
I witness beginnings that led to happy trails,
Endings in time where we all frail,
But is starting to fail a way for us to prevail,
And every path walked needed to tell,
I’m just tryna spit these visions of a life I’ve lived,
Yes I’m hotboxing so the vapor thick,
Joy and hunger, pain, fright make you fear sobriety,
I try and feel the love with a broken heart that’s irony,
I’m just tryna stoke the fire in me,
Burning deep within but let the liar in me,
Tell it I’m just a man in a pivot,
Spitting fairy tales at the picnic,

Sometimes I feel like flying,
Sometimes feel like I’m dying,
Sometimes feel like trying,
Sometimes I feel so tired of rhyming,
I been fired I’ve been fired up,
I’ve been trying to become higher up,
I’ve been tired of giving in, giving up,
Living in a tired rut, trying to cover up,
damage behind eyes that tried too much,
Enough,

Sometimes (Prod. by pilotkid)

Sprite (Prod. by deadwn)

On the Low (Prod. by MANUEL)

Lyrics:

What do you do when you in a bind?
When the world pushes back and you find yourself in decline?
Do you lay down, sit back, recline,
Or do you muster up ya might and head back to the climb?
I been running up the game, music getting still, job getting gains, I been sprinting up that hill,
Dreams of my youth, taken a bit of a spill, steady tryna build,
All my life I’ve been spinning silk,
Cut from a different cloth but of the same ilk,
Truly I’m just a dude turned savage on the kill,
Bastard flow how I blow up on beats fuckin up the speech stamping with cleats,
Hold up let him speak,
King killer, web spinner, bet your lights flicker,
But hold up I’m still sicker,
Fickle mind in a diamond mine,
Fucking up a clock how I’m going hammer time,
What’s yours is yours and what’s mine is mine,
But whats mine might be ours if we blood and brine,
I’m steady tryna climb and see what’s in the sky,
Sometimes I wonder what we gon find,

What do you do when you in a tumble
You know I’m the king of this jungle
Finna start a rumble 
Doing what I can to make it out this grind
Feeling like all I do is spend time
Fickle minds fickle minds
What am I about
Doing what I can 
young soul finna crown
My soul
Feeling like I’ve got it all
You ain’t seen nobody do this till he about to fall
Young soul about to do it till I can’t
Ain’t nobody gonna compare to this man
You know I’m out on a dance
Feeling like I’m in a trance
Man I’m out holding my stance
I’m bout to bounce back till I can’t fall no more
Young dude what you got
This ain’t no photo mode but you can take your snapshot
Bout to bounce back like I’m doing bank shots

The Climb (What Do You Do?) (Prod. by bvtman)

Lyrics:

Everybody wanna know how it feel like to be so free
All I do is spend my time tryna gain my peace 
Doing what I can just rolling through all these streets
Man I’m running through the city looking all so sleek

All these fools tryna tell me what I am
Spitting all these verse tryna become a man
Tryna break these curses while gaining a couple fans
Everybody knows that my shit be in demand
I’m out the nosebleeds
What you know about the ghost please
Man I’m doing everything to become most free
Yea I’m counting blessings
Tryna learn all of my lessons
Spitting all of these weapons
Yea im doing it like listen
I ain’t go no mistress
Steady cooking in the kitchen
But I’m out here fishing
Now I’m ripping all these beats
Tap tapping my feet
Tell me if you tryna eat
We’ll have a feast
Back on my grind
Spending all my time
all money on my mind
Spending that shit like the money ain’t mine

Everybody wanna know how it feel like to be so free
All I do is spend my time tryna gain my peace 
Doing what I can just rolling through all these streets
Man I’m running through the city looking all so sleek

Listen just breathe
Tell me what you need
I’ll give you what I got
But give me all of the keys
Smoking on the piece
Feeling so free
Ok sometimes maybe I be in the deep end
Smoking weekends
I be spending all my time tryna get my breathing
Right
Flying like a kite
Tell me if you hype
Everybody tryna become like they Mike
But I’m just tryna be me
Broken yet I breathe
In pictures I be cheesing 
Sometimes I be mean
Tryna find my dreams
But I been asleep
In a world tryna break me down to me knees
But we tryna
Be free

Freedom (So Sleek) (Prod. by Lucas Quinn)

Lyrics:


As I prep myself cooking up the next dish
I be strolling through prepping up my next wish
She looking pretty kind of like a Sunday afternoon
As I sit here writing out my next hit
Ok I’m just floating on down
I’m just shopping my sound
I’m just turning round my frown
As I delve deep
Digging for forgotten gold
alright I know my shits gotten old
I’m just heading down that yellow brick road
I’m tryna escape this maze
Forgetting what I’m told
But I’m
Kind of sick and tired
Been a while since I been higher
And I’m tired while I’m driving
And I’m rhyming while I’m wired
And I’m
Feeling so inspired
I just hope I don’t get fired from your heart
Everyday gotta go and thank God

And it might not
Be so bad
To go back
To what you never had
Tell me
Ain’t you so glad

And it might not
Be so bad
To go back
To what I never had
Tell me
Ain’t you so glad

I be diving to yet another vibe,
As I drive towards another sunrise,
Living like I don’t mind, what they been saying,
Hell you know i’m ain’t playing,
I be super saiyan way i’m changing forms in the am,
I be aiming for the top of the flock insane,
how i ain’t playing this game for the sake of some fame, 
i’m just tryna spark a flame in the maimed,
and yea what i never had kinda looks great,
how i know though if it wasn’t my fate,
I’m heading back on the road to what i hope is heaven’s gates,
wait, keep the engine running we gonna be late,
i’m just tryna make another way for what i never saw,
i guess i was kinda lucky like a leprechaun,
gotta keep the grip like you got a cat’s paw,
Everyday gotta go and thank God

And it might not
Be so bad
To go back
To what you never had
Tell me
Ain’t you so glad

And it might not
Be so bad
To go back
To what I never had
Tell me
Ain’t you so glad

Ain't So Bad (Prod. by NB Collective)

Lyrics:


I be hitting all these beats riding sleek up in slow mo
I be rolling with the fleet riding deep in the dojo
Let it bounce let it ride in the jeep and the Sonos 
I be taxing all you peeps say cheese for the photos

Standing strong bout to flip it all night long,
I be patient in the crowd but banging all the gongs,
I be rolling with the pack, picking up the slack,
Pinch your pennies all you want I’ll be packing up the stacks,
Life laid out all on wax, man forget the cap,
Love it or hate it I’ve kept it all real on my tracks,
I be kicking back tryna relax,
Listen it’s a fact that ima keep spitting all these raps,
Give a fuck or give a damn, you ain’t gotta react,
I won’t leave it up to chance with all of my acid raps,
Solace in the sorrow be back on the morrow,
You can tune in but you ain’t gotta clap,

I be hitting all these beats riding sleek up in slow mo
I be rolling with the fleet riding deep in the dojo
Let it bounce let it ride in the jeep and the Sonos 
I be taxing all you peeps say cheese for the photos

Fuck a foe 
what’s a fan 
give em mo
Make em dance
I done grew
Made amends
Lost some dough
Lost some friends
But fuck it, Im the plug and they the socket,
If they tune in they can rock it,
If you hating you can suck it,
One day we’ll hit the bucket,
But I’ll live on deep in your pocket,
In your ears with the tunes, 
Staring up at the moon,
Same sky different rooms,
Different lives, same stew
Different minds, same blues,
Different shades, different views,
Same road, different shoes,
Same colors, different hues,
I’m just speaking truths
I be seeking man that’s what I do
Let me spit some clues
If you feel it tell me too
But I’m kicking back acting a fool
I’m chilling laid back just tryna build my rule

I be hitting all these beats riding sleek up in slow mo
I be rolling with the fleet riding deep in the dojo
Let it bounce let it ride in the jeep and the Sonos 
I be taxing all you peeps say cheese for the photos


Slow-Mo (Prod. by pilotkid)

Lyrics:

I paved a couple paths through a tricky maze,
I prayed for hope and change when I went astray,
took some time to escape till I found my way,
Living in a haze but sometimes i feel so great,
sometimes i just see grey,
sometimes i hide my pain,
sometimes i live in shade,
sometimes i keep my faith,
Sometimes I keep my faith,
Sometimes I keep my faith,

lost a brother in the fall and now it’s May,
it was only his birthday just the other day,
had a dream where he told me it’ll be ok,
don’t think about the future too much just live for today,
man i don’t know what to tell you thinking that i’m climbing,
upwards on a ladder moving wonder what i’ll find and,
guess i’ve opened chapters will it last, as i sit here rhyming,
thinking as i’m passing mountains hope your view is sublime man,
i guess in time man,
light will find man,
in the chaos of today choose to climb man,
share some love rather than go and blind man,
all this coming from yet another blind man,
living as i strive man,
living as i try damn,
couple notes jotted down from the mind to the hand,
Guess i’ve been preoccupied man,
hopeful it will all be fine man,

I paved a couple paths through a tricky maze,
I prayed for hope and change when I went astray,
took some time to escape till I found my way,
Living in a haze but sometimes i feel so great,
sometimes i just see grey,
sometimes i hide my pain,
sometimes i live in shade,
sometimes i keep my faith,
Sometimes I keep my faith,
Sometimes I keep my

I paved a couple paths through a tricky maze,
I prayed for hope and change when I went astray,
took some time to escape till I found my way,
Living in a haze but sometimes i feel so great,
sometimes i just see grey,
sometimes i hide my pain,
sometimes i live in shade,
sometimes i keep my faith,
Sometimes I keep my faith,
Sometimes I keep my faith,

Haze (Keep My Faith) (Prod. by Angelo Imani)

An old recording from when I first started out.

Truth (2018 Recording)

Another 2018 recording from when I first got to rhyming.

Lest We Forget (2018 Recording)

Lyrics:

Peering at the sky line
Yea it’s my time,
Blazing bright on the mic,
I’m on the front line,
Feel the sun shine,
As I sing,
Soul trembling,
Hash crumbling,
As I,
Run a circuit with the words I spit,
Smoked many a spliff till my mind did split,
Now I’m tryna build skin so thick,
Let me tell you real quick,
Fuck what you think,
I’m just cruising to a melody of mine,
A soul designed,
By a hand divine,
When my soul does fly,
I pray He forgives my crimes,
And wherever I might land,
I pray it’s all fine,
Spent many a time debating these rhymes,
Halal or haram, light or fire?
I’d say it’s past time I relax my mind,
I mean you can’t deny the mic’s a lifeline,

I be knocking on your door now,
Everybody wanna show out,
I be so sound, on my way home now,
All day everyday I gotta stay so proud,
I be showing how I roll now,
One twos I be throwing now,
They want me down and out, ref on the count,
But I pick myself up keep em all proud,

I be wiling no coyote,
I be tripping no peyote,
want me missing like I’m lowkey,
But I’m feeling like I’m Kobe,
Coming back like the old me,
I still got fellas who think they know me,
But it’s all water under the basket,
I’m just tryna get me back to blasting shit,
I’m done asking shit,
I’m just tryna master this,
Duality of life and the casket,
Sometimes I’m winning,
Sometimes I sin,
Sometimes I’m living,
Sometimes it’s dim,
Sometimes I get to thinking,
Is this all there is,
And when I go there,
I get all depressed and shit,
But then,
I get a call from the fam,
A message from my dad,
A call from a friend,
And I remember then,
Even at my lowest,
I still got those who’re kin,

I be knocking on your door now,
Everybody wanna show out,
I be so sound, on my way home now,
All day everyday I gotta stay so proud,
I be showing how I roll now,
One twos I be throwing now,
They want me down and out, ref on the count,
But I pick myself up keep em all proud,

One Two’s (Prod. by B Sound Beatz)

Lyrics:

You won’t let me down again,
I won’t try to run away from you,
I’ll try and stay true,
You gon find me,

Please don’t let me down again,
I only find strength when I’m with you,
Yes it’s true,
You gon find me,

Pick apart the seams and you’ll find a man who’s believed,
I fight and bleed until I find myself free,
Ain’t no haste I’m not tryna move with no speed,
I’d rather move with grace until my soul is clean,
Some tonics are bitter but the results are sweet,
I’ve fought tooth and nail with my fate but now heed,
The beating in my heart that tells me to be at ease,
Cautionary tales but most people fail to read,
So I spit my story in sounds, I’ve flown to the top,
Fell back to the ground, 
I’ve climbed back up, 
grown and proud,
But still got a ways to go before I feel found, and I’m saying

You won’t let me down again,
I only find strength when I’m with you,
Yes it’s true,
You gon find me,

I’ll be around if you ever wanna chop it down
I mean how,
You holding up brother, it’s been a while, 
I hear you got married,
And now you got a child,
How’s the fam? Damn you saw who n did what now?
Ain’t it crazy how we’ve all gotten caught up,
Living different lives but still we tough it out,
Some on different paths, some of us growing up,
Rest in peace to those who’ve left, man I’ll see you up above,
Sometimes I wonder what it’s all about,
The push and pull, the search for love amidst the clout,
Sometimes I’m treading water, sometimes I’m in the clouds,
Sometimes I blend in sometimes I stand out,
Most the time I’m just another fella in the street,
Passing you by maybe you went and heard me speak,
Maybe you chance a glance maybe our eyes meet,
Then we go our separate ways never do we greet,
How many people cross our paths in our lives,
How many stick around how many say goodbye,
How many play a role how many just a side,
And how many only exist as a memory in your mind,

You won’t let me down again,
I only find strength when I’m with you,
Yes it’s true,
You gon find me,

Please don’t let me down again,
I won’t try to run away from you,
Yes I’ll try and stay true,
You gon find me,

Please don’t let me down again,
I only find strength when I’m with you,
Yes it’s true,
You gon find me,

Won't Let Me Down (Prod. by NB Collective)

Auditory Journal Entries...

Therapeutic excursions in Hip-Hop form.

Lately it’s been garbage time, making half baked tracks for the sake of keeping myself busy. Still, check out the catalogue maybe something will click.

If y'all dig what you hear let a brother know!

Raw Soul

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