The End Of My Existence

The Beginning Of The End

type shit
Beat by noizy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xVx2VYFtro

5:03 AM (prod. noizy)

SPAWN

lyric:

Mary won’t you stay, ease my pain today
Take my mind away, when you’re at my place

Another day- where I don't wanna be no more
And there's a face- that I don't wanna see no more
And my brain- feeling like a thunderstorm
Falling down-falling down, when it rains it pour

Another day- where I don't wanna be no more
And there's a face- that I don't wanna see no more
I'm broken, bleeding on the floor
Ain't never felt like this before

Feel alright when I write, that’s a little bit of mystery
I tried to change my life, put down the light and she still gets to me
I know the feeling fleets, but when looking back at my history- It seems to be-
that voice inside my mind Is just a fucking fiend

Tricky little petty thief, “Pick the apple off the tree “
“God is just a method to keep us in mental slavery”
Gotta pave a way for me, Ain't nobody saving me
But me and you, and you and me-
Reality is make believe

Oh you're what I crave,
So please forgive my selfish ways.
 You just don’t want to-
stay out of my brain.
You just want to-
lead my mind astray.

mary - RDN (prod. lowtyde)

This is a song about suicide I made for my AP Lang class. A couple of things I have to say: First, this ISN'T about me or anyone I know, it's a completely fictional I made myself. Second, this song is only in it's first stage, which means I am still working to improve on it for the next version. Third, since this is only in it's first version, I would really appreciate feedback (whether it is positive or constructive) because it would really help me improve on the song. Fourth: This is self produced.

DEMO Music Video: https://youtu.be/xw4VOhzBJeg

Lyrics:

(Mother Praying To G-d)

Dear God,
I know I haven’t been in your light for years.
But I’ve had slight fears at night for my son he’s fighting tears.             
He won’t cite what isn’t right and everything’s unclear.
Only polite when he writes, but he don’t wanna be near.                    
He hasn’t been hanging out with his friends
Even though, he had none to begin
He only writes with his pen
About just wanting to end
Himself
He’s been practicing with a belt
And jumping off of the shelf
I could never understand, 
My son has all of the wealth, pulled himself a couple bands
My son has physical health, never been in an ambulance
Even with the cards he was dealt, he wanna throw away his hand.
He’s always pissed at his sis.
I just miss the last time he was in bliss.
He says things are foggy, but he don’t clear the mist.
Won’t pull up his sleeves, cause I know he slits his wrists.
But why is he taking this course?
Is it because, back as a kid, me and his father, got a divorce?
Is it for his cousin, who committed, and feels remorse?
And most of all, he feels he’s the reason, he is the force?
Since my son was one he was screaming always.
Classmates tell me he be steaming to the kids in empty hallways.
He’s only sixteen, but he wants to end it to this day.
He don’t wanna convene, so all I do is pray.
Amen

(Long Pause)

(Son Writing A Suicide Letter)

Dear to whoever,
I’ve never felt less better.
And as I write this letter.
I consider shooting me with berreta.
My mom keeps asking me
Why don’t you talk no more?
“I say to let myself free.
I must be silent at core.
Livings like doing a chore
Cause I’m leaving my high school at 2.
And getting to work at 4.
And leaving work feeling blue.
To fall asleep and snore.
And I wake up the next morning.
To my life, which is a bore.
With no girls I be scoring.
You always want a war!
You always causing problems!
With dad you never solve them.
Cause back as a kid, I’ll admit,
Things were kinda awesome!
Now this house is a sodom! 
I bought em, a brand new blossom, 
to fall, like autumn.”
I’m sorry to everyone.
I know a lot you think, my life’s barely begun.
But honestly, as I’ve gone through my run.
I realized I’ve never had any fun.
Maybe that’s due to the friends I have (none.)
Maybe it’s because I was raped by a nun.
Maybe it’s because the voices won’t stop saying a ton.
They say to take your gun, push it right up to your head.
And to pull the f*cking trigger, and then yo brain will go through lead.
You know you got no vigor, so just lie on your bed.
Your happiness will bigger, because you will die and you’ll be dead. 
So this is for my cousin,
The one who’s also gone.
We both just needed some loving.
But no one formed that bond. 
But it don’t matter because my time is dearth.
Because since the day that my mother gave me this birth.
And since the day I was bullied for my girth.
I have depleted my self worth, and decided to leave this Earth.
So now my verse is done, I’m done with all the spitting.
I’m done with stupid school, and done with  trying to fit in.
I’m done with everything, I’m even done with living.
I’m done being done, this is the last thing I’ve written.

The Last Thing I've Written

(prod. brayden potts)
Lyrics:
Everybody everybody
think they know Nono
But they don’t know tho 
Not behind the jewfro
Even when it’s yellow how
I cut it up and mellow down
Nobody I am bellow now
Playing like the cello ow
Wow, can’t believe I’m here
I just made another song and it’s A tier
Can’t believe I had fear that I wouldn’t get it done
But to that I shun cause I did it and I won
Having fun vibing out
Never did I have a doubt
Cause I’m on a different route
And I don’t do it for clout
I’m about spitting raps
Kitten cats not gettin gats
I know you listen and glisten
Cause I be hitting whack
Lack, of awesome punchlines is who I’m not
Food for thought, you better remember what you was taught
Never fought, cause I’ll be slender til I rot
If you hot, then you should probably shoot your shot
And honestly that’s probably a rule for life
True advice
If it don’t work then do it twice
Who am I?
Just another Jewish guy
And I got the blueish eyes
Bringing all the fluid vibes
You love me like the cupid I!
Just got shot with an arrow
went through my bone marrow aint fair-o that it’s narrow
Been getting dinero from working Dunkin Donuts
Girls go nuts when they saw Noah glow up
Hol’ up
2nd track
Section 80
And I’m back
Slim Shady
Soundtrack
8th gradey
Cheese and Mac 
Ready to fly, I don’t need a wingman
I’ll be cooking up all these songs call me Pinkman
Bars so cold that I think I need a rink man
I’ll do you better, make your girl wetter than sink man
Haters come up to me and they say that I’m fake man
And then I’m like “Hey! I’m not the one with a spray tan…”
At the moment I got like 8 fans
9 if you counting my mom cause she the bomb
Where I’m from, everybody be bumping Nono song
And if you don’t, then you’re wrong
Been sleeping on me too long
Got so much more life to live but I can’t waste time
Cause lately that’s been slimmer than my waist line
People been talking with demons I cannot face mine
But all these people care about is if there’s a baseline

Can't Waste Time

Lyrics:
I never imagined a true love so complex was ever meant for me
Until I met you and seeing all the texts you sending me
Amazing me with conversations bout making 
A life together that’s more grounded than the basement where I was complacent
You racing through my mind, at each time, every minute
I want you out of my heart but for some reason you’re still in it
I admit it, I confess, for you I was so damn obsessed
But that’s cause I was depressed, and with you I just felt success
When we talking, life sucked less, Can’t repress, all of these feelings
Your body was so appealing, you hooked me but you won’t reel in
Personality out this reality out this world
Clinging cause I was thinking I met the greatest girl
You was someone I could tell my feelings, never lie to you
I was up until 5 in the morning just FaceTiming you
There was a point in my life where I would probably die for you
Drying my eyes, I’m not lying I’ve been dying and crying through
All the emotional pain of tryna cope with disdain
My veins are open in knots, whenever I gave you a thought
And I thought, you was ignoring me simply because I’m ugly
I thought you said that you love me, everyday I’m thinking “puck me”
How did I mess up once again, where’d I go wrong
Unadding you then adding you sending you paragraphs long
About how I don’t want you to be gone, and I messed up I regret it
Then I sent it and I read it, how’d I become this pathetic
Writing essays for you like I was in English class
Can’t even retrace my steps cause I was running and sprinting fast
How can you hurt me without even saying a word?
Relaying the message that I’m not worthy to be heard
But before that you was loving me and gave all the attention
Now for some reason there’s tension, did I forget to mention
that I loved you…you probably don’t even care
I’d lay out my soul for you! Grow old with you! You left my heart with a tare
We could’ve been the greatest pair, but now it’s time to move on
Cause it’s clear now you meant more to me and for you I was a pawn
In this sick game that you playing now it’s time I’m saying bye
I’m sick of all of the phony excuses when you’re spraying lies 
I’ll miss your beautiful face, I’ll miss your pretty brown eyes
I’ll miss your laugh, I’ll miss your smile, feels like I’m losing a prize
But now I guess it’s time to reset, time to go back on the hunt
The good times with you were fun, When I thought you were the one

I Thought You Were The One

(prod. ThatKidGoran)
Lyrics:
Damn, man
You lived life to the grand
And I never ever planned
On you kicking the can
Well I mean the bucket but fuck it you prolly understand
You can’t stand
Body rotting 6 feet below sand
What’s the source?
Of your force?
Wish you took a different course
And of course, couldn’t be worse
I’m feeling remorse
I endorse
Anybody that’s learning from your example
Cause your another sample
Of reasons to not let ego ample
We known each other since fourteen
It’s a mess I respect press ‘F’ just like flourine
The whole scene, was tragic some magic I’ve never seen
So extreme, enough to make anyone who’s mute scream
I reminisce and I just wish
That things coulda been diff
And that I could lift
Myself outta bed every day without crying
I’m not lying, I’m trying to pretend you wasn’t dying
And flying off to heaven, why was it the hard way you learned that lesson?
And the reverend said to deafen any sour thoughts like lemon
I didn’t want things between us to end so sour
So to you I leave a single flower, rest in power
Rest in power

mary - RDN (prod. lowtyde)

RDN

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