what’s the meaning of it all?
staring at my phone screen tap tap tap to the beat of a mundane scene that surrounds me
got our heads down scared to look at one another
like we don’t know what the consequence of interaction is yet
the silent hostility that’s common makes me upset
but that’s unimportant
there’s billions of other people who feel the same way where’s the warning
that one day my bones will crumble into dust laying 6 feet under ground that will one day be a road letting semis pass through the town
and the last sound that i made was heard by ears decomposing into grains of dust in the same ground that i’m in
so what’s the aftermath?
after all of this is done will i regret the time i spent staring at my computer watching youtube videos eating chips and drinking soda?
if i die now will i regret never reforming my faith
to believe there was a god that watches over me every day 
i wish i did it like i used to but the hope has gone away
i mean shit 
maybe jesus walking the earth right now wearing birkenstock sandals smoking on loud
wearing shades maybe i passed by him the other day maybe he was the stranger that smiled and waved
maybe that was just a stranger who smiled and waved
and i didn’t wave back do i regret that too it’s the same
sequence of events every day i was bold to think i was the main character of this story
now i realize that there never was a story
there’s no allegory hidden in the leaves or in the rain
that symbolize a purpose as to why there’s so much pain
saying everything happens for a reason to shift the blame 
onto a force out of our control it makes me feel so much shame
to contribute to the idea that poetry in the blood within my veins
i see people laugh at others who appreciate the little things
and see people at gas stations buying candy like it’s the best part of their week
i see people sleeping on benches outside of a mcdonald’s while i order a big mac from the car i own looking away so i’m not bothered
by the scene of someone in a poorer position that i’m in
am i that fucking selfish?
to want the wills of other people to change in my favor
we all want the same thing but that thing requires
to give a bit but mostly take and sometimes when you see a potential jesus you don’t smile and wave
to keep up the serious path that people told you to follow
so you don’t end up sleeping on a bench outside of a mcdonald’s
and the expectations drive you crazy not even worried about disappointing yourself
you care more about the opinions of others denying all their help
because the independence set you free in a world that fucking hated you
knocked you to your knees and told you exactly what the fuck to do
and the result is people overcoming everything that’s thrown at them 
and some people on the brink of suicide when they get dumped by their girlfriend
and neither of those perspectives is wrong
just the product of how you grow and how well you get along
with every other person you encounter as the sonder’s growing louder 
the life of a stranger is just as important as yours
and neither your life or the strangers is important at all
there’s no meaning in it all
there’s no meaning to the song
there never was a song
just the depressing rambles of a person who’s opinion doesn’t matter
shouting into open space with no air for the sound to scatter
i always say i’m gonna die young because i can’t image getting older than i am now
so take it at face value when i jump off a roof into the crowd
blending in with faceless people with their own potential story
that could leave this town and become a blockbuster movie
maybe one different decision and that movie would be mine
the story of a kid who closed his eyes and tried to stop time
stuck his hands out with a shout in an attempt to hide from every inconvenience i couldn’t claim as mind
and someone out there is getting rejected for the 3rd time this year
and someone just won the lottery and is celebrating with beer
i’m not thinking about either of them

some thoughts [prod unlucky]

4ever2

breathe

breathe feat. jackintheway (prod. Standby)

P!SSED OFF

Warlord

Warlord (intro)

Warlord(intro) prod. fakesm1le

i dont wanna hurt u ft. black roses [prod. oxy]

Grid - Asal (Prod. By Soflodexter & JDGuap)

Lemonade (Prod. Xxajii x Keeper)

ALCOHOLICS FT. RAPTURE

Saturn Boy Pt.2

prod. HeathStone 

lyrics:
zoned in my room got me feeling im alright 
coiuple months passed by now 
been sleeping on this shit
been a minute of my time  
think its time to wake up now
time to wake up
quit dwelling on the breakup
society and time 
reeling back to try and makeup
but some days, it never feels the same
i dont expect it should
and so you shouldnt do the same 
but this beat and my brain
steady vibin in my lane
shit slowly flowing right into my veisn
be hiding all this pain
make it to the next day
think its time to try and get away

Zoned (prod. HeathStone)

booking and inquiries - 

mikeapbeats@gmail.com

Grid - Asal (Prod. By Soflodexter & JDGuap)

RealPeopleRecognize~RPR

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