The Alchemist Sandwich

E. Coli (feat. Earl Sweatshirt)

[Verse ]
You ever fold so small just to make someone else feel big?
Turn your volume down, start swallowin' your wins?
I gave so much of me, I ain't recognize the man
Who brushed his dreams aside just to fit inside her plans
Skipped calls from my mom, dodged friends for the quiet
She ain’t even say "don’t go"  I just thought I’d start a riot
Felt like if I missed a step, I’d owe her more peace
Like her balance depended on how much I decreased
I’d lie to myself, say “this is how love goes”
“Maybe she just need time,” “maybe I’m too cold”
But every ‘maybe’ was a shovel diggin’ my pride
And every “sorry” I spoke felt more like a bribe
I couldn’t sleep right  pillow next to me was heatless
We’d kiss, but it felt like a scene  not feelin'
And I’d try to fix it, talk soft, walk careful
But a man who’s scared to speak ain't bein' fair to you
I became what she wanted, but lost who I was
And when you can’t love yourself, you call pain “trust”
That's when I knew  this ain't somethin’ to fight through
'Cause if I'm breakin’ for her, then who the hell fights for you?

[Chorus]
This ain’t weakness, this is breathin’
Had to lose her just to find my meanin’
You don’t stay just 'cause you’re scared to leave
Self-preservation  that’s how I finally breathe

[Verse 2 ]
I was scared of startin' over, scared of bein’ solo
Thought if I walked, it meant I failed, so I’d just go low
Mute button on my wants, my needs, my doubts
Smilin' in the mirror just to keep the image loud
But deep down, I knew I was lyin’ to survive
Sleepin’ next to someone who ain’t ask how I thrive
She ain't yell, but she knew where to twist
Every little dig dressed up in a kiss
I ain't the type to play victim, nah, I held mine
But real talk, it’s abuse when you always toe the line
When you gotta guess if today she gon’ love you
Or freeze up, stonewall, and never rise above you
I told myself “ride it out,” but at what cost?
When you lose your whole identity, that’s love lost
And I ain’t shame her  I let it slide
'Cause I was scared to face the truth right in my eyes
It ain't easy admittin’ you stayed too long
Or that her name’s still echoin’ inside your songs
But the day I walked, I felt breath in my chest
Self-worth ain't love… it’s the piece you protect

[Chorus]
This ain’t weakness, this is breathin’
Had to lose her just to find my meanin’
You don’t stay just 'cause you’re scared to leave
Self-preservation  that’s how I finally breathe

Self-Preservation

Take Me To Your Leader

Next Levels (feat. John Robinson, Stahhr, Stacy Epps & Invizible Handz)

Joey Bada$$ - Snakes

Brand New Freddie Gibbs Hosted By Cliche100

Freddie Gibbs - Something To Rap About

Cookie Chips

Album: Yacht Rock 2
Prod. By The Alchemist

Cookie Chips

Rejjie Snow

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