prod deadfish 
love you all <3

featured artist: https://soundcloud.com/heylog
socials:
https://www.instagram.com/deadfishig/

lyrics:

(I've kept on fucking up
and that's why
I can't keep it up
But now
I'm left here with no one
I gotta manage here on my own)

it's been so cold now
that I've been on my own now
I never want to wake up
these thought in my mind forever

No, I don't wanna hang out now
cause, too busy hating on myself
Just digging my grave deeper
til I meet the reaper
death to me is peace

I hate myself, all my cuts to prove that
I need a break, isolate from all of that
damn, it causes my mind to break
can you say that you relate?

So I've been
tryna find
anything that could help me
and therapy
isn't really perfect
I'm so close to pull the plug
I'm on my own
I'm on the edge

I'm so scared
nowhere to run
But I'm still sitting on my own
well, that's how
my day goes

[heylog]
you don't know
how much u mean to me
i stumble up on my feet
text u and never sleep
i'm happy, this can't be me
cut
me
off
write a song about us
oh numb
i'm hoping ur gone
u caught me a break
recover from loss
but still feel the same

[deadfish]
So I've been
tryna find
anything that could help me
and therapy
isn't really perfect
I'm so close to pull the plug
I'm on my own
I'm on the edge

I'm so scared
nowhere to run
But I'm still sitting on my own
well, that's how
my day goes

on my own

on my own (feat. heylog)

out on all platforms

the moment felt familiar when we walked to that lake
had my hand grasped to yours tight, in spite of your dismay
the leaves started falling, you averted your gaze
why the face?

why the face

and i'm losing my hair over someone who don't care about me
hiding frustration the emotions fall out of me and i can barely take it
signs clear can't mistake it
it comes to a barrier that i couldn't even break if i tried

just lay down and hide
you never gave a fuck about my health in the first place, the first place
so fuck off with your standards, get outta my face and just
take your
hands off my neck and you'll
learn a bit of some fucking respect, i'm so
nervous, an emotional wreck
not again
not again, not again

if you
say so
i'd just
lay low
take time
die slow
take time
die slow

running round in circles, such a fucking hypocrite, a little liquor, never hurts me as long as i forget about, youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

as long as i forget about you

1st Place

1st Place (prod. Pekarot)

Lyrics:
(But I still feel the scar that you burned into my soul)
Feel the scars that you burned into my soul
Feel the fire think I’m better off alone
Watch me run cause this pain is all I know
I think I'm better on my own

Feel the scars that you burned into my soul
Feel the fire think I’m better off alone
Watch me run cause this pain is all I know
I think I'm better on my own

Stuck up in this cage I got trapped in your lies
Lied to your face when I told you I was fine
I hate myself and I'm strung out on a line 
All my past friends made me fuck up my life

Don’t me I’ll get better I don't feel right
Every day I wake up paralyzed
All of my thoughts get trapped in my head 
You cut me left a scar and tore me to shreds

My heart is frozen in time
On a steady decline
If I jump will I die I’m cold
But I still feel the scar that you burned into my soul

Feel the scars that you burned into my soul
Feel the fire think I’m better off alone
Watch me run cause this pain is all I know
I think I'm better on my own

Feel the scars that you burned into my soul
Feel the fire think I’m better off alone
Watch me run cause this pain is all I know
I think I'm better on my own

Left me in the dirt watch me bleed till I died
You were my mistake I regret it all the time
I hate myself so don’t tell me otherwise
All my past friends made me fuck up my life

Don’t tell me I’ll get better I don’t feel right
Everyday I wake up traumatized
All of my fears come true in the end
You hurt me left a mark and I’ll never forget

My heart is frozen in time
On a steady decline
If I jump will I die I’m cold
But I still feel the scar that you burned into my soul

Feel the scars that you burned into my soul
Feel the fire think I’m better off alone
Watch me run cause this pain is all I know
I think I'm better on my own

Feel the scars that you burned into my soul
Feel the fire think I’m better off alone
Watch me run cause this pain is all I know
I think I'm better on my own

life cycle

scars

scars (feat. twoside)

see it to believe it. 🦉

Prod. Bond. x Dez Forman @dezforman
Master by: _st1cks @st1cksyea
Art by: @soutjay

See It To Believe It

obsessed w/ ulovely (p. johnnyfriend)

prod simon m @simonpopdiva goat

i think im gonna 
fuck up every single thing in my life
know that ima stuck up, everything i do is out of spite
i know that my luck's up, running out of reasons to try
i just need me one cup, looking for a reason to die
lately been on my own, and i walk this lone road
i wear my heart on my sleeve, she said im getting too cold
u say that im toxic, selfish, oh well thats just how it goes
keep making assumptions about me, look at u what do u know

and lately i been feeling better than ever
we dont talk anymore but maybe one day i'll write u a letter
and time goes on and the bond we had continues to sever
yeah i guess i wish i never met her

u say one thing and do another
see the cracks, i see the bluffer
too far gone, im under covers
know that u want me to suffer
look at u i look at my reflection and i hate it
i dont know the last time i felt good emotion, heart's so vacant
like woah woah, im moving so slow
take a pill im gone, i just do it all to cope
im just losing myself time and time again, im losing hope
maybe one day i can really love again, reap what i sow
like
what u really want from me, begging for my attention
(i know that i) love u and i hate u, got me torn over this tension
(feels like ur just) using me, these memories are stuck in my retention
(tryna get u) out of my head but i still see u in my mentions

i think im gonna 
fuck up every single thing in my life
know that ima stuck up, everything i do is out of spite
i know that my luck's up, running out of reasons to try
i just need me one cup, looking for a reason to die

i think im gonna 
fuck up every single thing in my life
know that ima stuck up, everything i do is out of spite
i know that my luck's up, running out of reasons to try
i just need me one cup, looking for a reason to die
lately been on my own, and i walk this lone road
i wear my heart on my sleeve, she said im getting too cold
u say that im toxic, selfish, oh well thats just how it goes
keep making assumptions about me, look at u what do u know

and ive been doing better
shoutout to my friends cuz without em i would never
be in this position so for them ima be better
fuck the opposition ima go up, go getter

SPOTIFY !

out of spite (simon m)

prod. by me

@xona

lyrics:

-du1-
fuck all your trust im so done
you always just left me behind
the palm of my hand filled with hope
why don't you just give me sign


sink stained with blood
too lame no trust
fuck all your trust im so done
you always just left me behind
the palm of my hand filled with hope
why don't you just give me sign


close my gates
fuck off i don't wanna play
its such a fucking shame for you to know me by my name
no i don't play your game
cut off just every vein
you're the one to blame
don't gaslight your mistakes
breaking every single bottle
i don't recall your fucking face no
watch me bleed on the floor do nothing
what you scared for?
fuck the promises you gave me right when i just met you
fuck the promises we gave us through a fucking phone yeah
tell me
why are you leaving just now
right when i need you
now i am always alone
why do i trust you
and thats my issue
its either kill or lose
i don't need us two
no i don't need us two

fuck all your trust im so done
you always just left me behind
the palm of my hand filled with hope
why don't you just give me sign
why cant you stay
sweet but too afraid
spit on your hands
all for a friend


sink stained with blood
too lame no trust
fuck all your trust im so done
you always just left me behind
the palm of my hand filled with hope
why don't you just give me sign


-xona-
falling all behind
write your life inside
down to your last line
break truths and deny 
oo~
so heaven sent 
dont lie to me
when you mess ahead 
oo~
you dont think the best 
but off the edge
you want to bridge
to rest this urge, cold shoulder of her curse
too much, too many learn
of my life and it hurts

behind [w/xona]

narnia

OUT NOW EVERYWHERE: https://ffm.to/petalsdoblossom

prod: me / chiba

backstory of this track:
chiba and i were actually rivals at one point. we then came together because we realized how similar we were. a year goes by and we come together and say, "hey lets make some music together" so thats what we did. chiba flew out of asia to california to come see me. he stayed with me for about 8 months. we made music basically 24/7. this track you're listening to right now was originally a single i wrote when i got my heart broken in 5th grade. i was in a field picking petals off a flower singing, "she loves me, she loves me not." over and over. i kept asking myself, "did she really love me? or did she just use me for my playground in my backyard." the answer is, i'll never really know. that's the point of life, isn't it? anyways, back to 2019 when chiba and i started this masterpiece. we just finished it today. so i hope you enjoy it as much as we do. and remember, petals do blossom. (:

Listen on Any Platform

petals do blossom

SPOTIFY

[Produced by Lit.]
ffm.to/tspill

She looked at me with a tinted smile
**** this love its just addicted cries
I take more **** & you take my time
Wearin' my hoodie she looked so fine (Yeah)
(She looks so fine - looks so fine)
Wearin' my hoodie she looked so fine (Yeah)
(She looks so fine - looks so fine)
Wearin' my hoodie she looked so fine (Yeah)
(She looks so fine - looks so fine)

No matter what I do I keep on runnin' back to you
Oh you promised me no strings how the **** am I attached to you?
Cause I don't know you - I don't own you
How do I escape you?
I said "how do I escape you?"

Looking back on it I still want you
I came in high she said "aight that's cool"
Drowned out bass she feelin' my groove
She's grinding on my pants & I still want you
Drowned out bass she feelin' my groove
She told me "I hate you but I still want you"
Ooooh - wooooh
She told me "I hate you but I still want you"

Okay you're here now so
Talk girl what'd you wanna hear?
"I heard we're here to face our fears
So wipe your eyes let go of your fears"

Shadow, haunt me, till I die
Anchor, deep down, till I drown
Cloudy, floating, till I fly
Buried, hidden, till I lie

She looked at me with a tinted smile
**** this love its just addicted cries
I take more **** & you take my time
Wearin' my hoodie she looked so fine (Yeah)
(She looks so fine - looks so fine)
Wearin' my hoodie she looked so fine (Yeah)
(She looks so fine - looks so fine)
Wearin' my hoodie she looked so fine (Yeah)
(She looks so fine - looks so fine)

No matter what I do I keep on runnin' back to you
Oh you promised me no strings how the **** am I attached to you?
Cause I don't know you - I don't own you
How do I escape you?
I said "how do I escape you?"

Shadow, haunt me, till I die
Anchor, deep down, till I drown
Cloudy, floating, till I fly
Buried, hidden, till I lie

Yeah
Looking back on it I still want you
I came in late she said "**** that dude"
Independent babe yeah she feelin' my mood
She's trynna take my soul but I still want you

Looking back on it I still want you
I came in high she said "aight that's cool"
Drowned out bass she feelin' my groove
She's grinding on my pants & I still want you
Drowned out bass she feelin' my groove
She told me "I hate you but I still want you"
Ooooh - wooooh
She told me "I hate you but I still want you"

She looked at me with a tinted smile
**** this love its just addicted cries
I take more **** & you take my time
Wearin' my hoodie she looked so fine
(Yeah - yeah)
Wearin' my hoodie she looked so fine
(Yeah - yeah)
Wearin' my hoodie she looked so fine

scars (feat. twoside)

Remedy

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