honestly it’s not my best but it’s okay it’s a learning experience ahaha.
i resisted the urge to re-record all the vocals cause if i keep fussing on this i wont move on from it and end up giving up on it!! ill just do better next time we’ll see⁉️

the grass is blue

demo only bc my instruments r broken im so sad </3 

it was cathartic to write and sing this tho i’m glad i did!!

[lyrics] 

i have the words between my teeth
but i can’t come up with an 
an enticing enough melody
to get them to be heard

so i’ll just keep them in my mouth
and force it down in one breath like how 
i keep one foot out of the door
and keep people at arm’s length

‘cause i’ve held more grudges than i’ve held hands
so please understand 
i need some time to get the hang of this
and i’ll only tell you how i am
when i am finally feeling alright
it may take a day, a month or two
for me to reply 

you’re tapping the tower
on all of it’s sides
searching for a loose block
but my,
my mind likes to wander
so i keep my fences high
i apologize i didn’t hear you knock

when i opened the windows for the first time in months
i didn’t notice that the sun had gone
nothing changed, my room was still dark
was it too late to have a change of heart?

i’ve held more grudges than i’ve held hands
so please understand 
i need some time to get the hang of this
and i’ll only tell you how i am
when i am finally feeling alright
it may take a day, a month or two
for me to reply 
but it doesn’t mean i hate you 
i just don’t want to lie

that i haven’t been lying on the tiles
of the the veranda
my arms and my eyes 
heavy and green with patina

i know it’s too much even for a saint
to stay the same and wait at the gate
for days til i was
ready to abdicate

these crutches with open hands
and please understand 
i need some time to walk across the 
burnt bridges to foreign lands
oh don’t ask me how i am
yes i could use a friend
but i’m too scared of having 
someone to lose again

yema

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