This was I think the second song I fully wrote on my own rather than collaborating with someone else. Everything come together in a few hours and this was all laid down at once with the solo just improvised once then rerecorded to tighten it up. The vocals are bad but I wasn't very used to it then and I think I was using a very cheap mic. There are so many subsequent recordings of this song but this was the first.

Things To Do Once And Never Repeat

My Hearts Desire

This is the first song I wrote entirely on my own. It was a huge milestone for me, despite its flaws. The lyrics are so cringe it actually hurts. Recording was made probably in 2000. It took a while to get to this stage with a few versions trying to get the vocals to be anything. Adding all the effected guitars really gave the song movement and whilst it is all very overwhelming in the recording, I would love to do this again some day with some more restraint.

Infinite Distance

My Hearts Desire, Infinite Distance and Repent all occupy a very tight space in my mind. Aside from being written at similar times, the process of getting them down and being a self contains songwriter really started to gain momentum then. Considerations around the song structure, the different layers and the purpose they played in the sonic landscape of the song, it really felt like it had a bit more going for it. They're all still pretty dumb, but it felt like a progression.

Repent

Written in 2002 in a fit of grumpy bitchiness, this song is kinda fun. Subsequent recordings came out better but this was fine for a beginning.

Reaching Out For You

So first things first, these lyrics mostly suck. I like the break before the solo but mostly it's just me trying being all "noone feels sadness like I feel sadness". Which is dumb. On the flip side, whilst it's sometimes hard to hear in the mix, I LOVE the guitar solo part, and I'm not sure I've written a better one since. This was between 2002 and 2003 I think.

Volatile

I nearly didn't upload this one as it is bad but then none of this stuff is very good really! This was really forced I think. The verses are TERRIBLE, lyrically and musically. Just so bad. The chord arrangement is something I quite like in the chorus, though I never nailed down the vocal melody. This was a real struggle and I probably should have not kept pursuing this one.

This marked a shift in direction. It's a clunky song, but I had started using Cubase on my shitty computer at this point. I wasn't good at it but I was getting more into electronic music and seeing what I could do with it. There is stuff I would change, in particular do something about that high note I clearly could not hit with the broad side of a bus. This was around 2003.

new demos

UCAS (U Can Avoid the System)

So this is a rerecorded version of this song. The drum programming sounds pretty overly rigid and unrealistic but it felt better than the default drum pattern from the Boss BR-8 on the old recording. Every part was recorded better for this version, and whilst it felt an improvement I still felt dissatisfied that it wasn't quite what I wanted it to be. From 2003/2004.

Reaching Out For You (rerecorded)

This was a full rerecording of the song Repent. I am pretty sure this was in 2004. I felt a bit more confident with Cubase at this point ant remember staying up all night to put together all the programming. I think that it's interesting and offers something sonically different to the original, but still lacks something in the instrument choice. Also the combination of the programmed parts and guitars/vocals doesn't quite gel right. Still it was good to try it.

Repent (rerecorded)

This is a rerecording of My Heart's Desire to test out garage band for the first time. It sounded way way better than I expected to be honest and those kids just don't know how good they got it these days! Pretty sure everything was straight in through the iPad mic. Pretty crazy. Bass is programmed on the iPad and there's some weird guitar layers in there too where I was trying to add some dense space in the chorus. Might finish it some time.

Renegade Chic