Produced by Brian Robert Jones


When I wonder if you will get close enough for me to be sure you'll stay
I'm really wondering if you will get close enough for me to push you away
Each night I lie awake and memorize every word you say
And I wonder if you will get close enough for me to push you away

Why can't we be real enough to say what we really mean?
That we're in it for the thrill of it, to fall apart at the seams
We'd rather keep our perfect lover hidden safely in our dreams
Yeah, we're in it for the thrill of it, to fall apart at the seams

I see something spark in the dark
Could it be the start of a broken heart?

I only got what was coming to me, baby
'Cause you told me you were a liar
You only got what was coming to you, baby
'Cause I told you I was a crier

I met you in the space between what I say and what I'm thinking
When I think that I am floating, then I find that instead I'm sinking
Between who I am when I'm sober and when I'm drinking
When I think that I am floating, then I find that instead I'm sinking

All at once the moment has passed
Did we ever imagine the moment would last?

I only got what was coming to me, baby
'Cause you told me you were a liar
You only got what was coming to you, baby
'Cause I told you I was a crier

One step forward, two steps back
Wash it white and paint it black
I would give the world to you
Only if you want me to

I only got what was coming to me, baby
'Cause you told me you were a liar
You only got what was coming to you, baby
'Cause I told you I was a crier

Crier

Produced by Brian Robert Jones

We built our love and we took off our kid gloves
And we walked around in our grown up skin
And we were signing autographs with big shiny movie laughs 
And never acting out the mess we're in 

And now we've opened up all the shutters, been blinded by all the others
We don't know where the right turned to wrong

I can't find any semblance of kindness, your heart grown as hard as a stone
I have tried to put everything aside for you, how am I now all alone?
Crying into a dial tone

I've been blind for such a long long time
And I’ve been trying to learn how to see again
I’ve got amazing grace written all over my face 
And I’ve been getting looks from the crowd I'm in

So now I'm breaking things just to fix them
Taking drugs just to quit them
Staying lonely for the sake of the song

I can't find any semblance of kindness, your heart grown as hard as a stone
I have tried to put everything aside for you, how am I now all alone?
Crying into a dial tone

I’m in love with you and
You're in love with me 
But you've got all these walls up and I can't see 
Over your numbing defenses and your halted advances
Won’t you please come back home baby, please?

I can't find any semblance of kindness, your heart grown as hard as a stone
I have tried to put everything aside for you, how am I now all alone?
Crying into a dial tone

Dial Tone

Produced by Brian Robert Jones

Spit the blood out from your cheeks
Forget about these last few weeks
I could’ve told you what you need
But you were never listening

You could’ve told me anything
But you don’t speak or think of me
You act like you were just sixteen
Another fucked up drama queen

Can you hear me, are you listening when I cry out your name?
Can you see me trying, I’m still crying, don’t you feel ashamed?
And your hands are filthy, you’re caught guilty, won’t you take the blame?
Can you feel me near you just to hear you say you feel ashamed?

You always knew just where to hide
When I came running to your side
Said you can’t breathe when I’m too close
But you’re the breath I need the most

Can you hear me, are you listening when I cry out your name?
Can you see me trying, I’m still crying, don’t you feel ashamed?
And your hands are filthy, you’re caught guilty, won’t you take the blame?
Can you feel me near you just to hear you say you feel ashamed?

Maybe I’d have done the same
A heart to break, a soul to claim
It never was the song we’d sing 
To love in spite of everything

It never was the song we’d sing 
To love in spite of everything

Can you hear me, are you listening when I cry out your name?
Can you see me trying, I’m still crying, don’t you feel ashamed?
And your hands are filthy, you’re caught guilty, won’t you take the blame?
Can you feel me near you just to hear you say you feel ashamed?
Can you feel me near you just to hear you say you feel ashamed?

Ashamed (feat. Rees Finley)

Produced by Brian Robert Jones

I’m wondering when all my pretty words went away
When did I discover I had nothing left to say?
When I was stumbling down, searching for the bottom 
And I finally found, there’s nothing worse than autumn in the city
Feeling shitty, missing you

You know sometimes a mirror is the last thing that you need?
Sometimes your reflection is the worst thing you can see 
When you know that you’ve lost, but you don’t know how you did it
You don’t know at what cost, you could drown at any minute 
In an ocean of stunted motion and deepest blue

Where is all the beauty that my lonesome guarantees?
I’m waiting for the big one that’ll bring me to my knees 
But all I’ve got are demands for answers I am missing
And some halfhearted plans, and pointless reminiscing 
For the old times, the silver gold times when it was new

So how now do I measure just the life that I deserve?
How do I clear my greedy eyes and see beyond the curve
Of my most childish dream, something noble as redemption 
Or some offered reprieve, or better yet, exemption from the grind
When my own mind imprisons me

And I’m looking through the bars to see a world I do not know
A place where I am wild, one more place I’ll never go
Feeling sleepy and blind from my gratitude and sadness
Really wish I could find all that attitude and madness
It’s so frightening, this loss of lightning, this loss of me

Well I heard that song you sang to me when you thought I was asleep
A jilted sort of lullaby, so clumsy I could weep
I never asked for your love, never asked to reciprocate it
Getting so tired of, yeah I’m starting now to hate it
Hear it calling, feel like stalling, and running free

I just need one more chance
I’ll just take one last chance

Jilted Lullaby

Produced by Brian Robert Jones

Oh what a curse, to be young and in love
Nobody warns you
So raw and eager and unaware of
Just how much damage you can do

We fell in love at eleven years old
Played house in high school
Fourth of July getting high at Little Dume
Skinny dip in the neighbor's pool

And I'll be the first one to admit
We made too many promises

I'm sorry I can't be your sweetheart
Don't look at me like I'm your sweetheart
I'm only getting to the good part
I'm sorry I can't be your sweetheart

And I don't know if I knew who I was
But I knew who you were
And I won't pretend it doesn't hurt, 'cause it does
But I need to know her

And I'd never say that we were wrong
But we were losing for so long

I'm sorry I can't be your sweetheart
Don't look at me like I'm your sweetheart
I'm only getting to the good part
I'm sorry I can't be your sweetheart

How high is the climb 
To the place we scratched out our initials in the bark?
Even now, when I'm down 
I press play and listen to your letters in the dark

I'm sorry I can't be your sweetheart
Don't look at me like I'm your sweetheart
I'm only getting to the good part
I'm sorry I can't be your sweetheart

I'm sorry I can't be your sweetheart
Don't look at me like I'm your sweetheart
I'm only getting to the good part
A girl could live and die a sweetheart

Sweetheart

Produced by Brian Robert Jones

I won't ask you where you're going
When you walk out of my door
I know I'm better off not knowing
What you're leaving for

But I think that we could find forever
In a single place and time
So if you wanted something better
So do I

Will you be around for the comedown?
Are you ready for the darkness in the dead of the night?
I'm around, baby I'm down
Through the daylight and the blacklight 
By your side

Come down baby

I wanna see all of the messy parts of you
Do you wanna see the messy parts of me?
I wanna be there when you're standing on the roof
On the edge of forgetting how to breathe

And if you've been wondering how everyone opens up their mouth
And nothing comes out but lies
You wanna murder all your secrets
So do I

Will you be around for the comedown?
Are you ready for the darkness in the dead of the night?
I'm around, baby I'm down
Through the daylight and the blacklight 
By your side

Come down baby

Will you find the light when there's darkness all around?
Your head in the sky and your feet on the ground?
Will you hold me tight when you hear the sound
Of your faith in flight, of the losing fight?

Will you be around for the comedown?
Are you ready for the darkness in the dead of the night?
I'm around, oh I'm down
Through the daylight and the blacklight 
By your side

Come down baby
Won't you come down?

The Comedown

Everybody thinks that I'm a good girl
Like it's written all over my face
Lately I just haven't seen that good girl
Like she vanished without a trace

I think it was right about the time that I started feeling finished with you
And how you made me feel about me
Now I can understand how not a single word you told me was true
Cause according to you

All you wanted was a good girl
And I was always disappointing you
I was always hopelessly hungover, crying on your shoulder
And taking up too much goddamn room
Well I'm finished now with nice guys
I want a bad boy with a heart of gold
I want someone cool not condescending, passion never-ending
I don't wanna do what I'm told just like a good girl

I think I'm finished crying in the shower
Like some 90s music video
Think I wasted way too many hours, think I'm hungrier for power
Think the pity party's over, think it's time to go home

And I don't know where you're going but I know I'm not going with you
It's been a bad dream, now I'm waking up
And I don't have to wonder whether you and all your friends would approve
I got nothing to lose

All you wanted was a good girl
And I was always disappointing you
I was always hopelessly hungover, crying on your shoulder
And taking up too much goddamn room
Well I'm finished now with nice guys
I want a bad boy with a heart of gold
I want someone cool not condescending, passion never-ending
I don't wanna do what I'm told just like a good girl

The girl you're looking for does not exist
The boy I thought you were, he will be missed

All you wanted was a good girl
And I was always disappointing you
I was always hopelessly hungover, crying on your shoulder
And taking up too much room

Yeah I know you want a good girl
But unfortunately for you
There's nobody free of imperfections, no squeaky clean reflection
To mirror yourself right back to you

Yeah I know you want a good girl
But baby you're no good, so what's the use?
I'm so over trying to be quiet, maybe you should try it
And listen when I talk to you, just like a good girl

Be a good girl, baby come on

Good Girl

He was a red windbreaker and black Chuck Taylors and faded blue Levi jeans
He was soft brown leather and rough white cotton and not a lot in between
And it felt just a little like I fell into the middle of a bona fide teenage dream
But the years go by and the daydreams die and I still don't know what it means

I never felt again what I felt back then when I looked in those big brown eyes
And it left me reeling, left me chasing that feeling, tryna find it down deep inside
Cause we were all running either to or from something, resurrection or suicide
And the fire still smolders even as I get older, even when I'm so sure it's died

And we were screaming from the cheap seats
Trying to be brave and break the rules
Running dreaming through the beach streets
We were lovers, we were fighters, we were fools
So excited, so united,
And so uncool

Now I'm sitting in traffic staring down my demographic in the faded red taillight glow
Thinking everybody scattered like none of it mattered and I don't know which way to go
Wondering how much worse I can still get hurt by all the shit I don't know
In the shadow of a past so vidid and vast and I don't know how I'll ever let go

We were screaming from the cheap seats
Trying to be brave and break the rules
Running dreaming through the beach streets
We were lovers, we were fighters, we were fools
So excited, so united,
And so uncool

Maybe you can never go home again
Love is kind, and then it's cruel
But you loved me when I was uncool

When we were screaming from the cheap seats
Trying to be brave and break the rules
Running dreaming through the beach streets
We were lovers, we were fighters, we were fools
So excited, so united,
And so uncool

Uncool

He's gone
She's leaving
Happy birthday to me, to me, to me

Too long 
I'm grieving
How I want to be free, be free, be free

Stand still
Time's flyin'
I'm sleeping alone, alone, alone

It congeals
Blood dryin'
I stare at my phone, my phone, my phone

And how
Could you leave me baby
When I was so good, so good, so good, so good to you?
And why
Do you drive me crazy
When you can't even see me, can't see me, can't see me, can't see me through?

I'm fine
I'm fading
I'm falling apart, apart, apart

Everything that I touch turns to you in my hands
Like some cursed magic trick I don't want
It's breaking my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart, my heart

And how
Could you leave me baby
When I was so good, so good, so good, so good to you?
And why
Do you drive me crazy
When you can't even see me, can't see me, can't see me, can't see me through?

I thought you loved me
You told me you loved me
You got bored of me
Through all the pain I say
I'm not ashamed to say
It meant more to me
So much more to me

And how
Could you leave me baby
When I was so good, so good, so good, so good to you?
And why
Do you drive me crazy
When you can't even see me, can't see me, can't see me, can't see me through?

See Me Through

Maybe it's a crutch or maybe it's a kindness
Aching for your touch, swallowed up in blindness I fall
Oh, I fall

It's comfortable here, huddled in the closet
Take my biggest fear and I think it till I cause it
Don't call
Oh baby I can't take it when you call

And I know, yeah I know I'm gonna be alright
But I know tonight is gonna be a lost night

This has been my town since I was just a baby
Gonna take you down, try to mess with me, are you crazy?
You are
You left a wound, but it turned into a scar

I'm taking back the dark, there is nothing I'm afraid of
Searching for a spark, gonna show myself what I'm made of
How far will I go behind the wheel of my car?

And I know, yeah I know I'm gonna be alright
But I know tonight is gonna be a lost night
It's gonna be a lost night, oh
Every single day I fight, but tonight I wanna lose the night
Yeah every single day I fight, but tonight I wanna lose the night

And when I hit the floor, it's like a homecoming
I've been down before, I feel my bones thrumming
Hold my bleeding heart
Yours and mine, they were different from the start
You and I, we were different at the start

Why'd you give it up? You know I'd never hurt you
Wanna live it up, lose the only girl who'd never desert you?
That's fine
I'll start pretending like you never ever ever were mine

And I know, yeah I know I'm gonna be alright
But I know tonight is gonna be a lost night
It's gonna be a lost night, oh
Every single day I fight, but tonight I wanna lose the night
Yeah every single day I fight, but tonight I wanna lose the night
Every single day I fight, but tonight I wanna lose the night

Ren Martinez

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