something random i wrote hehe
.
it was the monsters under my bed
before it was the nightmares
haunting my head
it was the staggering reality check
before it was the weight of the world
weighing down on my neck 

it’s just raging tides and pouring rain
and the highs were never worth the pain
had all the time in the world 
from the day i was born
but no one told me life was just
weathering the storm

when emotions reach full capacity
and 3am staring back at you becomes
something you regularly witness
the existential catastrophe
of realising that i’m made up of
nothing but a million near misses 

it’s just raging tides and pouring rain
and the highs were never worth the pain
god, if only history could be erased
hope’s only ever around for you to watch it fade
i feel like a puppet in some masochistic game
when have i ever found the right words to say?
all the time in the world 
from the day i was born
still, no one told me life was just
weathering the storm

maybe one day i’ll learn 
how to come to terms with mediocrity
and finally understand the point
of self-accountability
treated like the adult, feeling like a baby
never felt smaller, defined by only maybes
can’t seem to recall what it’s like
feeling safe in your skin
why’s my mind as fragile as silence
if strength’s supposed to come from within?

but for now it’s just 
the incessant chaos in the solitude
that i brought on myself
i’m not blind to the truth
drowning in expectations 
cuz they’re just dreams 
that i can never make come true

rhea abraham

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