I really needed to hear this! Thank you 💙

Im just wondering how often projective identification is consious and deliberate, or unconisous and undeliberate. Like I had a guy say to me "you love me". (which i saw as conscious deliberate manipluation). But one of my mothers favourite saying "they think theyre better than everyone else" (would this be unconsious?. She would not be trying to get that many people to act that way. so I dont know why she kept saying it.). She only ever said it about females and kids. Why would someone keeping saying that phrase? Ive always wondered.

I would like to know sam vaknins technical term for "emotional vampirism". Oprah said "You deplete me". I can understand that someone is trying to use another for some resource, like attention, ego boost, information, sex, money, connections etc (what sam calls naristic supply). But I dont understand when someone is trying to use me, for no other reason, than to get my little steely ball of indomitable positiveness, that I have inside of me. Its catnip for the the B-cluster persons. Im a dart board for the B-cluster. This little steely ball is only small. It goes away if I get disconnected from myself, if I abandon myself. If my self-dialogue stops talking to me. If my relationship with me was cut off. (from being aroud the narcisit). But the steely ball always comes back. This goes into emotions, not just resources. Do they want to mine/steal/poach your useful emotions too?

To my interpretation, the usual church sermon, boils down to the same message. It uses symbolism/metaphor to say this idea: You need to strengthen your relationship with 'god' (yourself). ('christ in you'). Because then you are more likely to follow your calling in life (i.e, to be able to hear and follow your intuition/hunches/nudges/gut instincts ('gods' guidance). Intuition is what your soul senses, really wants, feels compelled to do in life. Then youll be in the best position to help the most creatures, make the most of your talents, be on path with your souls longings, and to grow forward, evolve. The souls growth is joy in itself. The narcisit tries to separate myself from me, because that weakens me. The narcisist tries to replace my intuition with speaking-for-me contradictions etc. To bork the target into ignoring their higher inclinations. So the narcisist can exploit resrouces or essence. Or just not be out-done. vampire.

The reason for prayer, is said to be, to connect your relationship with 'god' (with yourself). Prayer in its smallest size is to: Ask for what you want. Say what you want. Tell yourself what you want. Communication is where the love is. You are communicating with yourself. Thats love. Giving yourself self love. I am re-grouping. So the narcisit cant get in the way of my relationship with myself, and try to tell me what i want. I have to get there first, and everday. Or another way of saying it is saying "I wish.. x would happen". to the universe/unconsious. Same thing. I once heard a Rabbi on the radio say that god is "the back door to your subconsious". Its a start at trying to brainwash myself first. Before any narcisit tries to.

The most beautfil love songs Ive heard are church songs. I see them as teaching/singing loyalty to myself. True to myself. I think christianity is where a group of guys tried to make people less abusive, and a less dysfuction world. By creating a manipualtive and machiveliven phsycholgical system, that can be used for either good or bad. But its powerful enough to get people off addictions. I find it useful for brainwashing. If I use it for my personal development. Agape love. I have heard the term "self-partnering". (Makes a person better at relationships). I was  also reading a blog about people who have a single imaginary boyfriend through out life, and how common it is.

Yes finally after 30 years I am giving myself permission that enough is enough he won't a knowledge any hurt indicted upon me and I'm done don't need the validation just done!  over it tired of being called CRAZY and all of his slandering my character Fuck It!

I waited until today- so not to fuck up Easter :)

which trait have you mastered- there is where we will start.  Love that ding ding ding

if you need a new one to study- I have a doozie for you.

 "Permit Yourself To Make A Decision And Move On" this is Podcast Number 3

Podcast 3 "Permit Yourself To Make A Decision And Move On"


As a life coach with a diverse background in psychology, Richard Grannon is not afraid to challenge the status quo. He has devoted his profession to exploring the psychological issues that often get ignored or suppressed by society. He offers a variety of support methods to his clients to help them grow and thrive, and he never stops challenging himself-- he has explored psychology in settings around the world to help grow his worldview and inform his teaching.

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