Made on a borrowed Teenage Engineering OP1. I think I need to get one for myself but damn that be expensive tho £££

The Fountain

Made on a borrowed Teenage Engineering OP1. Inspired by someone who was kind to me and had blue hair.

Blue Hair

You say “would I be a bitch if I pinched a fag from you?” and of course I’ll share the pack with you, ‘cause that’s what friends do. Let’s head out to the park, it didn’t rain today, but if a fox squares up to us, we’ll walk the other way. We’re in an HD space and that’s our acronym. When we go past the Antelope, we check if Declan’s in. Paranoid in maccies, like they’re onto us, we take the bus to yours but they forgot the fucking curry sauce. Again. What the fuck. They forgot the fucking curry sauce again, what the fuck?!

You say “would I be a bitch if I pinched a fag from you?” but you know I’ll always smoke with you (except for in the living room). Down the escalator at Broadway I said to us “I need chaos in my life”; then you said “I am chaos”. and when you’re going through a lot I’ll be there next to you, vomiting by the bin again after too many zoots. Sitting on the sofa, what do you wanna watch? We ordered Uber eats and they forgot the fucking curry sauce. Again. What the fuck. They forgot the fucking curry sauce again, what the fuck?!

I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I didn’t go with you to Waterloo on a work night. I might have never learned to live for myself; I used to prioritise what others liked over my mental health. And now I understand why it’s a big fucking deal when they forget the fucking curry sauce, again, what the fuck! They forgot the fucking curry sauce again, what the fuck?! They forgot the fucking curry sauce again, what the fuck?! They forgot the fucking curry sauce.

(for Lauren)

Curry Sauce

lately i’ve been a little lost in my head. feeling so frantic, i’m acting erratically, not making sense. sometimes i can be a little harsh on myself and this heatwaves not helping, i need to chill out, i’m emotionally drained. then the rain starts to pour and i don’t get my umbrella because it feels nice with that smell when it starts raining all around. i think you said it’s called petrichor and it makes you feel better as our street on the side of a hill turns into a river washing away all the cigarettes left in the gutter. i feel the raindrops on my face. i know it sounds a bit cliche but i think it’s gonna be ok. 
~
frankly, it’s been a little while since i felt this calm. alone in the city i’ve started to think that my best is not enough and it’s easy to decide to hide away from the world. mind and heart racing i feel so afraid and i want to give up. the rain starts to pour and i open up the window, breathe in the air with that smell when it starts raining all around. i think you said it’s called petrichor and it makes you feel better as our street on the side of a hill turns into a river, washing away all the cigarettes left in the gutter. i feel the raindrops on my face. i know it sounds a bit cliche but i think it’s gonna be ok.

(inspired by a conversation with Lizzie)

petrichor

My room is filled with empty cups, I know I should wash them up. They take up all the surface space even my bookshelf has got a few on. If you came into my room you’d think I was a cup salesman or you’d think you’d stepped into a modern art installation but that wouldn’t be the truth…

I’m just someone that lets my problems build. I get overwhelmed and don’t know how to deal with it. I’ll start by tackling what’s on top of my list: urgent and important, the washing up, but first, I’m thirsty, so I’ll get another cup. 

There’s not just heaps of empty cups, there’s a few bottles and a wine glass refracting light shining through the open curtains while the daylight lasts. If you came into my room you’d probably want an explanation. I would say I like the way they add to the decoration but that wouldn’t be the truth…

They say that being optimistic is when you have your glass half full. Well, my glass isn’t even half empty, it’s fully empty and I’ve got loads. It was kind of therapeutic writing lyrics for this song. I’d like to say that after I wrote it, I finally did the washing up but that wouldn’t be the truth…

Richy Tofu

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