I once saved a small phillipino village from an invasion of newts with nothing more than a q-tip and belly button lint. 
I believe small men with large beards will one day save the world from second hand intoxication and first hand clean-shavenness.
I have two little guys that are cooler than me already and im OK with that.
I am a pop music whore. (with the exception of most pop music)
I'd rather you have tattoos and had some good stories to tell, but if you dont, you should be able to make fire with only a few drops of water... To appear manly.
I have a fascination with all things whiskey.
My wife also lets me play music from time to time.
 

-Beard

Capt. Nutbeard