Half Life 3 Intro Sequence Feat. Keith Cumshoes (Prod. Dominus Soul)

Once In A Lifetime (DS Vers.)

-- Lyrics --

Highschool sucks!
Highschool sucks
highschool sucks
all the the teachers
touch my willie

First was P.E
The teacher touched PP
He stroked my cock 
i knew it was wrong
but who listens to a whiney little faggot

Highschool sucks!
Highschool sucks
highschool sucks
all the the teachers
touch my willie

Second was maths class
i thought id made it past
all the abuse 
but the teacher made me stay after class
then he started to pull down my trousers OH GOD!

Highschool sucks!
Highschool sucks
highschool sucks
all the the teachers
touch my willie

Third was ms.crabb
she wasnt too bad
but then we made eye contact
and ever since then ive been getting straight As OH

Highschool sucks!
Highschool sucks
highschool sucks
all the the teachers
touch my willie

Highschool sucks!
Highschool sucks
highschool sucks
all the the teachers
touch my willie

high school sucks

HI-SKOOL SUX!

[LYRICS]

Let me tell y'all what it's like,
Being president with a broken psyche
got three teleprompters leached, listen up to my shitty speech. come on!

I got rot in my fucking brain,
cant say too much or ill get a strain.
All alone in my Biden pain,
I forgot the rest of the speech again

I'm rockin' the Whitehouse, just like Abe Lincoln did,
I'm rockin' the Whitehouse, except that he actually did shit.
I'm rockin' the Whitehouse, I take a nap and have ice cream,
then ill let some innocent kids sit on my lap and brush my hair.

I'm too decrepit and old,
I think I'm starting to fuckin mold
I have trouble standing up upright,
I'm gonna gaff on the mic tonight.

the whole country is at stake
they think I was a mistake

I'm rockin' the Whitehouse, just like Ronald Reagan did,
I'm rockin' the Whitehouse, except I think that he did shit.
I'm rockin' the Whitehouse, I like that chocolate chocolate chip,
My dogs shit on the floor, and bite the staff and much much more

My brains a haze these days, as i pull up to the podium
praying that someone doesn't throw rhodium.
And I can feel they're all blasting me with hate,
And states, sending dirty shoes my way.
Cause I'm old enough to be somebodies
great, great, Great, Great, Great, Great Granddaddy
It wasn't my idea, this wasn't my idea, never was my idea.
Jill just drove to the store to get me some Preparation-H

Y'all don't know what it's like, Being president with a broken psyche [Repeats]

I forgot almost everything that I wanted to say,
I forgot almost everything that I wanted to say,
I forgot almost everything that I wanted to say,
Fuck!

Just like Donald Trump did, I'm rockin' the Whitehouse, 
Except that he wasn't half bad, I'm rockin' the Whitehouse, 
i love kids bouncing on my lap, 
and in the pool my leg hairs go white like the top of a frappe.

somehow, yeah-yeah, I'm rockin' the Whitehouse, 
Yeah-yeah, I'm Whitehouse, the Whitehouse, yeah-yeah

You'd better look out, because I'm gonna forget [Repeats]

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HALFLIFE 3 INTRO (ELITE EDITION)

As long as you are loyal to our Mighty Ogrelord, all will be well in your life.
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All praise is due to Shrek, lord of all the Onions. All holidays and festivities are due to His power.
Not following the Way of Shrek, or defiling His Holy Name, will result in punishment.

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My fellow Americans.
Fates has ordained that the men who went to the moon,
to explore in peace,
will stay on the moon,
to rest in peace.
For every human being who looks up at the moon, in the nights to come,
Will know that there is some corner of another world,
that is forever, mankind.
Goodnight.
Recorded upon the crash of Apollo 11 on the Lunar Surface in 1969- Pre-False Success Censorship.

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