what if it wasnt

What If It Wasn't

her dumb brown hair

Her Dumb Brown Hair

mall rat

Mall Rat

im still on season 9 of shameless

I'm Still On Season 9 Of Shameless

Oh, I love this world.
How everyone pushes me to the curb.
What did I do to deserve this?
I don't know I think about my own purpose,
But everyone around me makes me nervous.
Why do all my friends hate me?
Why do all the girls want to date me?
But the one I want makes me go crazy.
Ain't that crazy?
And ain't it crazy that I love you all.
Only person that I hate is my mom.
Can't everything just be okay?
Know it'll never be that way.
Know it'll never be that wayyyy.
If I die, please drop my songs.
And if I die, could you please stop lying about me?
Cause you never even asked me what I think.
You don't even know what I feel.
How are you living with yourself?
If I was as hateful as that, I would've probably already killed myself.
(Ohhh)
Oh, I love this world.
How everyone pushes me to the curb.
What did I do to deserve this?
I don't know I think about my own purpose,
But everyone around me makes me nervous.
Why do all my friends hate me?
Why do all the girls want to date me?
But the one I want makes me go crazy.
Ain't that crazy?
Ain't it crazy?
Ain't it crazy?
(Could you hold my heart.)

Ain't It Crazy?

Love yourself.
I don't love myself.
It's the same as it was when we met.
I just want to go back.
Let's go back.
You make me so sad.
I'm so upset.
And I can't make this shit up.
You got my head in a bunch.
Trying to think what it was.
(BUGS, BUGS)
Didn't even know, did you?
There's like no issue.
I CAN'T EVEN MAKE THIS UP.
I lost it all, bitch. I'll make it back.
Bitch, I'm doing it all for the ones in the past.
"Wait for me."
I can't hold back...
Hate it when you mad.
Why you acting like that?
I just got that feeling.
You don't got to feel it.
I've been smoking too much gas need something else.
You's a pussy bitch.
Rider too damn lit.
I've been smoking on this shit, top the shelf!
Love yourself.
I don't love myself.
It's the same as it was when we met.
I just want to go back.
Let's go back.
You make me so sad.
I'm so upset.

Bugs

Bugs (Prod. Pleasure, Exset, Follow, Kyuro)

Spentfunds, we got another one.
I done popped two tabs; I'm on another one.
Yeah, she shaking ass, like she tryna get fucked or sum.
I be smoking weed; she know I get high as fuck.
Why'd you lie to me, bitch like, what you lying for.
Bitch, Rider that's my real name.
If you knew what I know, you don't know a thing.
This bitch tweaking, why she tryna pop a bean?
Know I'm done with that shit, now I just smoke my weed.
They got to do something new; you the older me.
Bitch, I don't even owe a thing.
All the shit I did for you, you ain't do shit for me.
Wanna kill myself, but would I just respawn?
Know some things they don't know; don't know what I'm on.
Thinking like, I've known you from another life.
Wristcutter, know you idolize the suicide.
I don't want to be the one you lie to.
I would cry if you died; would you cry too?
I dont want to fight with you.

Respawn @Spentfunds

Tell me what you're waiting for. 
Left me here, and my heart feels so sore. 
Do you care about the shit you said before? 
Is it like that? 
I don't want to be the one you cry on. 
You're so selfish. 
And you say you can't help it. 
That's bullshit. 
You know right from wrong. 
I swear you know just what to say when you come home. 
No, I'm never ever picking up the phone again. 
Fake laughs with your friends. 
I'd shoot myself in front of y'all if I hear that bullshit again. 
Could you shut the fuck up talking to me? 
Who you think you talking to? 
I'm done with your lying and deceiving, all the shit you put me through. 
Tell me what you're waiting for. 
Left me here, and my heart feels so sore.
Do you care about the shit you said before? 
Is it like that? 
I don't want to be the one you cry on. 
You're so selfish. 
And you say you can't help it. 
((monologue))
That's bullshit. 
You know right from wrong. 
I swear you know just what to say when you come home. 
No, I'm never ever picking up the phone again. 
Fake laughs with your friends. 
I'd shoot myself in front of y'all if I hear that bullshit again.

Heartsore

@Zatru

(Tell me that you love me; you don't mean it.)
(She mad luh rid6r all on her speaker.)
T- T- Talking all that bullshit, fucking tweaker.
Bitch, we going up; I know you see it.
Sometimes I just wanna die.
Tryna get high, oh my god, oh my god.
She tryn suck my dick.
Baby, ya, ya, ya.
They can't do it like me.
Baby, nah, nah, nah.
Take a look around, I see my sons.
K- Keep that semi-auto? Shoot that fucking gun.
Give a fuck about a follow? You a fucking bum.
I don't need your fucking money, bitch we already got bucks.
(B- Bitch we already got bucks.)
(Yuh, yuh)
I dont wanna talk to you, bitch you sound lame as fuck.
Got them pills in my pocket pop it in my gut.
I got hoes, I got options, I might fuck this slut.
Bitch, we next up.
Yeah, you said you feel the same?
Bitch, I flexed up.
Know this shit it took some pain.
But it won't always feel the same.
T- T- Talking all that bullshit, fucking tweaker.
Bitch, we going up; I know you see it.
Sometimes I just wanna die.
Tryna get high, oh my god, oh my god.
She tryn suck my dick.
Baby, ya, ya, ya.
They can't do it like me.
Baby, nah, nah, nah.
Take a look around, I see my sons.
K- Keep that semi-auto? Shoot that fucking gun.
Give a fuck about a follow, you a fucking bum.
I don't need your fucking money, bitch we already got bucks.
(B- Bitch we already got bucks.)
(Yuh, yuh)
I don't wanna talk to you, bitch you sound lame as fuck.
Got them pills in my pocket pop it in my gut.
I got hoes, I got options, I might fuck this slut.
(It won't always feel the same.)

Perception

Perception (Prod. Zatru)

"Sometimes you say things that aren't; they aren't really true, but you say them anyways because... you want them to be true. You know, maybe, maybe that's good enough." 

That's not what you said last month.
It ain't even been that long; you got new cuts on your arm.
Do you remember crying in the hall?
I remember watching you dissolve.
I never care; I know you say it's my fault.
Girl, you know I heard that shit a thousand times before.
Say it again; it won't make it the worst.
Just a curse, you're just a curse.
Across the fucking world, still feel you here now.
Said you saw what I saw when you called; it's so weird.

"I'm serious, okay? I want you to say that you're always gonna be here."

That's not what you said last month.
It ain't even been that long; you got new cuts on your arm.
Do you remember crying in the hall?
I remember watching you dissolve.
I never care; I know you say it's my fault.
Girl, you know I heard that shit a thousand times before.
Say it again; it won't make it the worst.

"Tell me that everything's gonna be okay."
"Can't really make sure of it."

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