my mind circa late 2020

lyrics:
i'm up in nighttown, blowin on ash w ash

tapped on the gas for last, hit
i'm tryna hit the gas, shit
why do i live on the last dip?
niggas won't ever get past this
circle of life that i'm stuck in
don't like the beat but I'm noddin
hover the spikes and they pokin
say i'm "locked in" but i'm trapped
i got a cam, it won't focus
need a new one and I know this

no fucks for repercussions 
priorities like bees, i'm dodgin
hope this don't leave me sobbin
hope i don't escape this consciousness
but I can't even realize on it

think shit sweet like butter pecan
when the uni gets to tweakin
i'ma be the one who's weapin

(hook)
in a picture perf life
i call out my bluff, things change, i'm fluffed but
i live with no urge, useless nights i splurge
now i'm stuck up in this flat, i aint doin shit but jack

bout the future not e- mm, well, shit
bout the future could be excited, but i don't even trust myself, like
in myself i see the light but, i can't even find the ground
try to walk thru subliminals, but they no more than reminders
i know what i gotta do for myself
i know the heights i needa touch
I keep running from progress, better act like I know what's gon fall from my hands, if I keep relaxin then i'm shit outta luck (correction from ableist bar being "my limbs might go defunct")
mama say if I keep doin me, I might just self destruct
she not even wrong, life's unpredicted, might test my luck
how i'm movin on pivot, shit just depends
but ima learn you can't tell me, said i'ma grow you can't force me

(hook)

buki + nta // krunk

demo off hypothetical ep "i wouldn't have said no: an ode to grief"

pill that u tote

just in case i never finish this i at least wanna have AYE (a) version out... this was first produced dec '20 and the last tweak was sometime during the first half of '22

lyrics 

not tryna live within the mundane
they can't mold me into a brick they won't hold me

i know i'm a star
can't rush my potential
might blow out and scar

so i'ma take it slow
let my body ohhhh
excited for expansion
can't limit me the world
with this might i probe
with these seeds i rose
natural geometry
this life won't take one form

ay sha sha! i jus dropped the top, on my top hands up crankin right
leveled up on niggas by the mere fact i live by my shine
encompass your virtues and watch how you shapeshift as the sky
some people choose to walk while others run but through these clouds i fly

I know i been tied up, tryn b ugh when i'm really pop
lemme take 2 and study, isolate, be my best buddy
find a new piece of myself, find a lil peace in myself
my purpose ima acknowledge it, find a new wealth in my solitude fuck confirmation from else

sublime
my thoughts equate sublime
past tense i was so _____ [looking for a substitute for ableist metaphor]
present tense, i’m scoping all sides
strength up ima work this muscle, with this paintbrush i got range no struggle
pinkies up sippin on this turbi
thumbs down tryna feed me turkey no

i say no when it urks my soul
I say yes when it fills my chest
fuck what's good i'ma do what's best
see the sun and i see my quest

in pursuit reapin benefits
in my glow fuck a dimlit bitch
they jhi pissed lookin at my shim
they not used to this, i'm jus in my bliss

'm in the realm hittin flips
i put the sh in delish
unspoken secrets the world at miss
too focused on external stimulants

see past what’s given in this world of sin
ima take what i need and then learn from within
evolution inevitable so i cringe
then proceed to do the work for the win

you gotta know
to live is to die but to die is to pose

by my mess, i mezzi (x10)

slow.wav

that moment when u throw away a pack of cigarettes that you only picked up after you had smoked one with a friend you might've had a crush on which you bought when you were technically under age but you turned 21 the same year plus you turned 18 days after they raised the age limit... anyways that moment when you threw a pack of cigs away because you found out you were a viable bone marrow donor for your little brother with sickle cell and you find a way to humanize the cancer sticks that you at first demonized

lyrics

turn down 4 bibippo

cigarettes, gave me depth yung nigga so shallow
poetry, find it in all damning examples 
wait- if what was jus said is tru, its a chicken or the egg situation
did i give this cigarette depth or did this cigarette give me depth?
let's see i pulled then extract indeed yung buki did that
then i proceed, to perceive the inanimate at hand
like goddamn what a terrible hand i'm dealt with if i was happy i made shit sad
with that knowledge i win, but here goes jack like think again
like how do you win but within my presence you realized the present you lack
inanimate but i lend you the picture in which you say that you do not crack 
don't i resemble the paintbrush? you used my red to assemble attacks
you had the skirt and the leather vest on, but me in your mouth you're in tact
i had the skirt and the leather vest on, and allen my chest spittin facts
you had the nicotine, filter on top, turning yellow with each breath
immortalize your potency in the art of mine, your complex reflects my genius
i came w purpose you arrived with nature i plowed and then disrupt the connection
american, spirit instilled into my conscious
why are you here, why do you resemble my want list
you go and tear, just to rewrite my life as offset
i cannot bear, i demonize just to sell my care
ménage a trois me jack and the air

a voice 4 a vice.wav

basically a nigga was manic.. later psychotic and infatuated... hypothetical lyrics here:

emotions high tide, she was my moon
i had the wheel her eyes told me to move
when i’m with her it’s like everything blooms
in the back of the coupe nothin i wouldn’t do
came into my life like, bless you
then u kinda dipped I can’t hate you
i jus can't shake off this fling, how it, fell thru
your absence consumes my whole damn view
bittersweet but so cruel

everlasting, my love for you is so rare
everlasting, my love for you is unfair
everlasting, my love for you is unfair
everlasting, my love for you is so rare

blue curtains drape as i do my dance on the stage of love
just as i thought i was done they continue to ask me for more
i'm a fool for ya pop a tool for ya, i jus can't leave you alone

now i'm 


all alone
gotta deal with this shit on my own
unless she tryna be like my best friend
keep my secrets but kiss me like i'm your best blessing
sometimes it feel like this life aint for lovin
unrealistic realities my best friend
holdin myself until it's time to let go
can't keep on rockin in between the yes no's nahhhh

uhhh i was so ready to love and you knew what it was why'd you keep my hopes up for so long
i touched you gentle but i was a rental it's crazy i really thought you were the one

emotions high tide, she was my moon
i had the wheel her eyes told me to move
when i’m with her it’s like everything blooms
in the back of the coupe nothin i wouldn’t do
came into my life like, bless you
then u kinda dipped I can’t hate you
i jus can't shake off this fling, how it, fell thru
your absence consumes my whole damn view
bittersweet but so cruel

blue curtains drape over my body the show is done
auditioned for yours, accepted my art but rejected its owners place
performed for you i'm on strings and your pleasure has taken place of my will

>everlasrting>.mp3

masochistv2.wav

ay, yung buki tryna seize the day
opportunist i take every chance to delay
i emphasize waste hoping i create day
know the shit that i’m on might kill my fertile state
no chance to capture my rank
i don’t even seek to reign
but the shit that i’m on uh make u wan instate 

i don’t like speakin in clear-say, cryptic speech i create the future cliche
story of mine one of dear-say, my acknowledgement just furthers my reel-tape
so this story of progression unfolds as time withers within my will
what is in the pen i wield? 

capture my fatal compliance, address the state of my wake, signed in the ink of drought,
reaping the fruit of doubt

shine a light onto my talent, 
paint my portrait glorious, 
signed in the ink of drought
color me brown, feather me out.

oh weee by my way i go, see this route like ritual 
my movement a ceremony, find the blessing in the void
ressurrect from out the soil, i done took frm all the dirt and then made a place for roots to grow
fuck regret im choosing growth

niggas be upside down, tryna paint me
they see me smile a frown, butt for my teeth
they see the bullshit holy, my heart anti
so when I speak for real they try to flush me
right side up, i’m sippin cunty
right or foul i'm grabbing both
ache is the light that travelled me against peace

story of my life, black tape on my mouth
strangulation of the mind, can't believe off this they boast, can't believe them i revoked
dream the day they choke
prance under the bar as their view brings them to implode
they themselves will be their cause until they seek relief

your detestment's a failed attempt to humanize me
yet my hand is yours to be freed with

regret the days of their violence, destruct the air your lies breathe, bleed out the ink of drought
mirror your truth, silence their sound

inkofdrought

wow, once again
you have failed, deadline abandoned
open that jar, add a brand new broken promise
til it implodes of wasted potential and reeks of not yet

and yeah you had it all but you shred it through your teeth
like do you taste defeat, when you hear your past repeat
i guess you've had your ball but threw it in the heat
all your future plans melting, you should've never
said a word, spelled out a curse
a task of one, must be allerge
can't have no fun, big party turd

why be such a, backpeddler x3
_______ , best of the worst
why be such a, backpeddler

and yeah you had it all but you shred it through your teeth
like do you taste defeat, when you hear your past repeat
i guess you've had your ball but threw it in the heat
all your future plans melting

ssiohne - backpeddler

bad - tiara thomas (Jersey Pop Remix)

library card attached to my keys
smoke in my hand, don't tell mom about these
i was in my lover’s blouse, earlier, it's quite a squeeze
putting off today's reading of the book no more police

but she'd rather know, mom would rather know

that i was finally tidying up the room she renders beastly
like don't you dare utilize such, violent terminology

oh i worry, i worry, i worry such so
that my worries, my worries won't mean much to so and so
and that that's all, they'll be, so long as so is so
n as i light this jack, that bridge, away, i'll blow

i stare at the moon, so long as i'm looking for guidance
so funny i'm finding the truth, in places my people plead silence
so wtf im posed to do, to not eat the poison of kindness
autonomy's all but a truth, when you gotta be sick of its heimlich

so long as

lyrics

got on strike 2, don't get on strike 3
shoulda been done at 1 but baby you keep impressing me
how the fuck, you so nasty yet, you make me wanna, get so nasty like...

but if he pull up on me right he'll *decimate all my disgust
chant me right and my dignity's out the door
sadly this aint the first occurence so whorish

havesomerespect (unfinished - buki era track)

idk if i'll write anything over this beat, this originally started as a jerk/milwaukee inspired beat

never letting go (spm; wayne wonder sample)

community care forever, opportunist oblivion never

lyrics:
they gon carve in the same way which they claim protection
only when i'm hollow will they realize their betrayal
they gon hiss in the place of words of love sweet berate
just to see the bite of venom and go to blame me for their fangs oh
kryptonite of an accountability
i wish people recognized shame as a great chance to grow
until then i'm throwin side eye's
it's a labor of love when i tell you "you're not that guy"

the person you would rather not reply to, you're a slither slither snake, slither slither snake

the friend that acts like they don't owe nobody shit, slither slither snake, slither slither snake

family member, but dont recognize the blood, cus they slither slither snake, no thanks and decimate

admit to your hypocrisy and come tell me you're a slither slither snake, 


until then, i'm throwin side eye's
i'll make it easier to tell that i'm not jackin the vibe

i needa be real, i’m not even that guy
just tryna navigate the damn frustration that is your sigh

you roll in such a litter of a practice how can’t i cry
and when i say you risk infection i’m the one with pink eye like

i don’t kno everything but there’s something i know that you fail to understand

they gon carve in the same way which they succumb to oppression
only when there’s no one will they glorify connection
victimhood can only bring forth a reason for action
i’m begging you to recognize the body mod as stab wounds

wake em up, wake em up, trying to
recognize your eyes see freedom when the mind knows that needs two
break out the handcuffs of only you
recognize my hands as communal, they work to free you too ay

ssiohne - slither, slither, snake.

the idea for the beat came to me in 2021, was originally gonna have a hook that went "might get shitfaced drunk, ima blame it on my 20s" but i ended up going sober

it feels so 2010s nickelodeon music show era and i wish i made this in 4th grade, or at least i wish/hope 4th grade me knew i was gonna be making things like this... thinking ab talking to promise ab wanting to be a producer back then... things worked out?

blame it on my 20s

prod. me
originally an intro for a project, i'll write some of the ideas for lyrics i had down below

lyrics: 

the trees don't have any more friends
the rivers lost their reflection
we can't sing into the air anymore
we'll cough before we can be elated

we'll scream before we can harmonize
we'll mock before we can contextualize
our ancestors have lost their pull
the elite are not our friends

hypocrisy runs rampant
we've learned to love our demise
under every accomplishment lies a backing of abuse and compromise

this empire won't ever celebrate us
rather applaud us for complicity
the social rank is not your friend
you will make a fool of yourself affirming it

the sky still rises
this cycle is not your friend
we've accepted our condition as nature
we will sleep until we can dream

we've lost our inner friend
by mirroring the enemy
extracting all that empowers us
and handing over sovereignty

the words we speak exist forever
what do we want for ourselves eternally
i know for myself

22walk (intro)

lyrics
sin tear,
my roots have disappeared
my youth, the closest glare
into what was sincere
i question all that's here
is this the best repair
what else can i inherit


well, fuck it.
in the name of fury
ay these fits bouta be in my life whether it's picture perfect or burns all things sturdy
in regards to the life that i lead, it's a life in recession, my life going BC
in regret of the safe net i held feeding into a life that would never receive me
to a standard that could never be me
to a world that could never evolve me
separated potential from truth and the truth is nobody is getting their damn needs
at least to be claim they thriving


to say this is god, is to say this is his will
take a chance at dusk, let the sun make room for hell
think about a dream , let the suns serve as it's veil
created harmony with the sounds of the rebel
frivolous and poor, all past attempts at connection
we can look up at the stars and find a fatal correction
one example of this life shouldn't sanction all else rancid
therefore, i cry. in tear, i wash my fear
to nurture self, embed my past,
and bring forth height over the seer

after (in its name) - prod. nighttownash

Photo Description: The picture shows me, a black brownskinned androfemme person at Malcolm X park in dc on the south side of the park, where there are black stoned squares in between a grid with different stones cemented into the ground. there is a beautiful plain blue sky to the right of me with a naked tree and a low tan building in the back and a high rise apartment building to the left. i'm posing with my all black cowboy boots crossed under my denim maxi skirt, elbows out with my hands in my leather vest pocket, my belly tattoos peeking behind my long sleeve mesh shirt.

lyrics:
can't bring me home, mama gone kno i'm not typical
baby u finna subject me to ridicule
what do i even like mean to you?

niggas is prone,
i got a lot that i'm trekking thru
last thing i need is a false hope to suffer thru
i need to know what this is to you

can't even speak
my words come out like i'm throwing stones
come to find out i was never to hold
discarded right where i'm vulnerable

i seek refuge where none call home

yea

can't bring me home
mama gon take all my scratch
n fill up the tank meant to patch
now it's a wrap
even if she's accepting of that, it's a million more moles to whack
now that's a pack

take all the t that you see
and vow to never _____
now that's a pact (is this bioessentialism?)

can't bring me home / typical (rough draft)

Image description: Desktop screenshot of the twitter / so-called "X" website with a tweet that reads "despite how much i love seeing the artists i love achieve monumental, career defining rewards and acknowledgement i could just never leave it to a historically racist academy to decide whether my catalogue is history or not - your local soundcloud artist w/ >50k overall plays" There are two squares right next to each other under the tweet, a yellow one on the left and a cyan one on the right. together, they read "such a long way 2 go" with the cyan box only having "go written in it and the yellow box having "such a long way 2." The writing is drawn by a finger on a touch screen phone, and the boxes are translucent so they show some of the twitter interface in the midst of the text, such as the reply and retweet buttons, along with the "view post engagements" option. There are many different tabs and bookmarks on top of the browser, along with the macbook app bar under the browser. Peeking in between the browser and the app bar are the logic + signal interfaces.

original song title was nettle leaf + licorice, i made this after i started isolating with my 3rd known covid infection. maybe i'll rap on it later who knows..

(dishonoring fame as a Symptom Of Ego Death)

image description: mainly shows a picture of an arm with a few tattoos, and to the left a bathroom mirror of a person with a yellow bandana, black shirt, and elastomeric mask.there is an overlay effect on both photos, with a smaller version of the tattoed arm photo over a bigger version of it, and the bathroom mirror picture being on top of both versions of the tattooed arm pic, so different obscured things are shown thru the translucent parts of some of the cover

lyrics:

v1:

drill the lights out
lose the mic, uh
let the audience boo you and walk out

did your heart stop?
miss the walls where you dried?
how is life after death, is it so flushed?

was it worth it after all?
was it worth the fight after all?

as much as i despise,
you provided context
a look into lying to feed the violence of success
the false tale of dreams
american context
we all sell our minds to favor all that depraves us

hook1:

did you choose or was force involved?
was it worth the fight after all?

you had screamed to keep change afar,
was it worth the fight after all?
*was it worth*

v2:
you know it's all in the same, i take it all in the vain of "fuck you,"
and you ain't get there out of nowhere, don't you dare remove me from holy,
lowkey, it's fucked up when you pigeonhole me
we got scared 'fore we knew to cope, teach,
we're not split as we're such in one piece

we were 6 coating walls with piss, but when you think of 16 you feel so disgusted
and when you speak of me, you can only say "i," i don't get all the self-demise
what a medium to save face, at what point does intolerance evoke denial?
who's to say i'm only shit takes? after all i'm your inherited, you wear my crown

(bridged verse pending)

hook2:
oh you take me, higher, higher
yeah, you take me, higher, higher

oh you take me, higher, higher
yeah, you take me, higher, higher

oh you take me, higher, higher
yeah, you take me, higher, higher

oh you take me, higher, higher
yeah, you take me, higher, higher

take a moment (rough draft)

i was gonna add more to this song but i don't exist in the same context with the muse anymore, idk what more to say


lyrics: 

(hook)

our bodies touch, angels arise
you call me yours, and grace my demons with life
fable me sky, wondrous and high
whisper off the tension, send my loathing awry

we'll never be good, sinners for life
stuck to our own, we decide what love (god) looks like
groomed into harm, yearning to fight
we were the ones who burned the book and said die, die

die x5

oh die

(hook repeats)

bodies/angels v1 (?)

genre/riddim: bukibeat/bogi

tantine et tonton, qu'est ce que tu vas faire
if i tell you i'm lesser than fine?
mon frere, are we still cool?
il a ne pas donne moi respecte

ma mere a di go be a man, mon père ne veut pas que je sois son enfant

ma soeur a di humble yourself
et my cousins think i do too much

on top of many things je suis la premier woubi
they won't call me the name that i like
so it's better if i just don't speak

ecouter, hiss if i diss
and not just if i say how it is

attencion, beware of your feet
don't trip if you start feeling guilty

my parents ain't teach me lingala
i only picked up threats and "ohh di"
i learned the life dans l'americaine
that was once pride now my dad begs mercy

uncle in the uk had dreams about me
called my mother, like c'est pas bonne
but his son follows me on ig,
he was speaking on reality

i could go on and on bout the past
the saga continues they still on my ass
now i'm gone and they try play it cool,
but mind you the past was off what they assumed

like if i came out could they handle the truth?
is there much they ain't already knew?
but if i say fuck it and glam in they face,
would they start obscuring they view?

tantine et tonton, qu'est ce que tu vas faire
if i tell you i'm not sleeping fine
mon frere, we used to chief dope
now if we share the same air i might die

ma mere won't admit to her error, mon père ne veut pas di there's much to unlearn

ma soeur is so full of herself
et my cousins aren't far from the bunch

on top of many things je suis la premier woubi
they won't call me the name that i like
but still can't see how their love is oblique

ecouter, let me be pissed
this the one way i'll get off my shit

maybe one day we'd all get along
if belgium never bludgeoned our gift

premier woubi (rough + ion feel like rerecording)

this is making high school me happy so fuck it here y'all go

image description:

a picture capturing a corner of a computer screen that has up a copy of the Brickthrower, No. 2 from the DC library archive. Portion reads: "Communications Act of 1934. This
Act established the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), which ensured permanent regulation of radio broadcasting -- and opened up the airwaves to commercial broadcasting, reserving a small portion of the bandwidth (frequencies below 92 FM) for educational and noncommercial purposes. Many Americans were
outraged at the commercialization of the air; one of radio's inventors, Lee de Forest, called U.S. broadcasting "a vulgar, cheapjack show designed solely to coax dollars out of the pockets of the public.""

lyrics

*oh my fucking god, here this nigga go again, always talking about something, like why can't you be happy with anything? FUCK.*


praxis fallin shy, principle is never true
one less time to fight, do or die what u gon do?
servants caught in lies, but they still tryn drink the juice
pity of a high, they not below 92

shovels in disguise, tryna paint themselves as roots
i'm gon b that guy, say it's so, they call me rude
take another bite, make a fang of what you truce
i can't fuck wit u, u ain't below 92



look me in my eyes, just to bruise em in 2 seconds
my bad i'm so nitty, i shouldn't have spoke on ur ku klutter
won't apologize, nothin they could've done better
so my vigilance, they batter
punch down cus it's better to gag at it

don't say that u love me, u just want a token
u just want the image of caring soul

don't ever talk to me, shut up and take up die-ology
don't ever talk to me, get off ur horse and caress the street



praxis fallin shy, principle is not in you
one less time to fight, do or die what u gon do?
servants caught in lies, but they still tryn drink the juice
pity of a high, they not below 92

shovels in disguise, tryna paint themselves as roots
i'm gon b that guy, call it so, they call me rude
take another bite, make a fang of what you truce
i can't fuck wit u, u ain't below 92

(freestyle)

niggas below, niggas above
niggas above 92
niggas advertising fluke
niggas can't fuck w my groove

(begins to scat on the beat)
(laughs)

below92fm (pitched up, slowed down)

this is making high school me happy so fuck it here y'all go idgaf ab a good mix lol

image description:

a picture capturing a corner of a computer screen that has up a copy of the Brickthrower, No. 2 from the DC library archive. Portion reads: "Communications Act of 1934. This
Act established the Federal Communications Commission (FCC), which ensured permanent regulation of radio broadcasting -- and opened up the airwaves to commercial broadcasting, reserving a small portion of the bandwidth (frequencies below 92 FM) for educational and noncommercial purposes. Many Americans were
outraged at the commercialization of the air; one of radio's inventors, Lee de Forest, called U.S. broadcasting "a vulgar, cheapjack show designed solely to coax dollars out of the pockets of the public.""

lyrics

*oh my fucking god, here this nigga go again, always talking about something, like why can't you be happy with anything? FUCK.*


praxis fallin shy, principle is never true
one less time to fight, do or die what u gon do?
servants caught in lies, but they still tryn drink the juice
pity of a high, they not below 92

shovels in disguise, tryna paint themselves as roots
i'm gon b that guy, say it's so, they call me rude
take another bite, make a fang of what you truce
i can't fuck wit u, u ain't below 92



look me in my eyes, just to bruise em in 2 seconds
my bad i'm so nitty, i shouldn't have spoke on ur ku klutter
won't apologize, nothin they could've done better
so my vigilance, they batter
punch down cus it's better to gag at it

don't say that u love me, u just want a token
u just want the image of caring soul

don't ever talk to me, shut up and take up die-ology
don't ever talk to me, get off ur horse and caress the street



praxis fallin shy, principle is not in you
one less time to fight, do or die what u gon do?
servants caught in lies, but they still tryn drink the juice
pity of a high, they not below 92

shovels in disguise, tryna paint themselves as roots
i'm gon b that guy, call it so, they call me rude
take another bite, make a fang of what you truce
i can't fuck wit u, u ain't below 92

(freestyle)

niggas below, niggas above
niggas above 92
niggas advertising fluke
niggas can't fuck w my groove

(begins to scat on the beat)
(laughs)

below92fm

image description: an abstract collage of various photos from different parts of my life, starting from elementary school and up into my 20s, in various parts of the DMV


(verse)

it's jus me and the sky, wind showing me the path as i grieve and roam
intuition is taught, indoctrinations reigns, but as nature it'll pose

so i'm lookin at my older pics, like i really thought i wasn't choking
and i turn back to my current bliss, and god bless the detriment i chose

said its klein in my soundsystem, i can't hear my car fuckin up
sing bout how it could be, do re mi faso burkina (ON Y VA SANKARA)
like what else can i hold onto in a world thts so damn futile? (DOO DOO KAKA YA)

"tell them soon and give them never"

soon as i saw that was me,
i had to adjust my thinkin

niggas do not impress me
matter fact, they induce screeches

hogging up all of the peace, then point and scream about leeches UGH

all these chems all in my system could be pfas could be leisure
violence of the times, sometimes we ache, sometimes we torture
all the while we can't un-implicate the anti nurture

like niggas be damned, but also like niggas be damning
done thinkin i'm forever good, when i'll never be above the standard
follow my blood back to the woods, cus i forgot a nigga be biting

(hook)

i stare at the moon, so long as i'm searching for guidance
so funny i'm finding the truth, in places my people plead silence
so wtf im posed to do, to not eat the poison of kindness
autonomy's all but a truth, when you gotta be sick of its heimlich

stare at the moon

pitched up slowed down

image description: a screenshot of dijon performing the dress live @ 6th & i in chinatown DC

the dress - dijon (demo jersey club cover)

image description: an image of a sky depicting an outlined/illustrated hand holding an opaque black and white star that reads "be your own kind of beautiful"



lyrics

tell me how it feels when you remember it’s too late
when you realize heaven might just be a sin too far away
you can’t be talking like you’ve seen the pearly gates,
like you shook that niggas hand and, for your life, was made a saint 

tryna damn the world for all the harm you claim to hate
in attempt at forcing judgement to obscure your hand in vain
you can’t be talking like you’re heaven’s only member
tryna talk from heaven while you devil advocate

talking from heaven (demo) [Pitched Up Slowed Down]

[image description: a photo of a painting consisting of purple and green colors, backing a digital photo of slime on top of multiple question marks]

5yrs later....

lyrics

[hook]
i dunno, something's calling me from before
seems to follow me in worlds i used to adore
n i don't want it but its gravity compels me to tour
i wouldn't question it if i wasn't aware of its horrors

i dunno, seems like it could offer me more
more than what had caused me condemn it before
and i don't want it but a loving chance will always seem,
a loving chance will always seem a better luck than remorse

[verse]
it's all i wanted, a place that i could call home, place that i could cherish
now if i try to phone home, niggas see me alien
like what the fuck am i doin, chasing what's precarious
don't do kinky shit, and still i think it's giving masochist

found within my desires, i'm calling for a pounding fist,
same way they would mock and spit, exactly how i yearn to kiss
only granted intimacy where i vow to bow, unconditional to pops, so of course i love the ouch

of course i love the incisions, laugh at all the jokes and every punch is just a good wheeze
take it to the chin, never let them see you frown, always keep your head up, the making of a clown, that's exactly what it's bout

n i could you sing you this word for word, and follow on the path i spelled out to you absurd
we never wanna believe it's true yea, don't wanna know it was all abuse

[hook x2]

idek (nostalgia) [rough draft/slowed]

image description: a film capture of an orange-red and pink light leak with translucent speckles across the photo


lyrics
i was never one to trip about it nigga life gon move on as it do
i kept movin all along, finding out how limited i kept the view
still i never tried to trip about it, cuz i always wanna find the truth
but how do i keep steady on? i keep finding myself bruised
x2

i keep finding used to the ways i normalized the world's abuse
i regret the world i built, thinkin that they validation was a fruit

sippin out the cup they piss, thinkin i was hot shit, not the one that gets you drowned n stomped quick

i was bound to pass the torch, whose to say i never did
cyclical i found the sitch, friendly i thought was the grinch
come to find out what i grew to better fetch, was turning me into a mitch

PSL in the way i found grift in my gifts (?) , i changed my politic, i'm not fuckin w parties no more call it quits

they think i'm gassin it, it's a hole in my heart where those matches were lit
did that shit in your pride, but i'll get hung up high when i getback that lick

so much for bruddas, 4L, fuck a clique
family, more like, ill fit
guess i gotta live with it, like

i was never one to trip about it nigga life gon move on as it do
i kept movin all along, finding out how limited i kept the view
still i never tried to trip about it, cuz i always wanna find the truth
but how do i keep steady on? i keep finding myself bruised
x2

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