This song is what happened when a friend made the mistake of asking me to write a song for her baby shower.

Dodged A Bullet (2021 Mix)

Disneyland has a lot of secret ways they make money.  I've got the inside dirt.

Happiest Place On Earth

A romp through social culture in my brain during a trip to Wendy's in Florida.  From the album "Burning Sensation".

Burning Sensation

Adventures In Florida (Edit)

If there is a Hell it's been split-tested, optimized, and personalized for every individual.  This is mine.

My Personal Hell

Download 8 of my most popular comedy and music hits at http://www.PhilJComedy.com

From the live concert DVD "Raising A Rockus" - Do you have that one person at work that you just can't stand? Just looking at them makes you want to rip their head off and force feed it to their grandmother? In this song we'll calmly discuss three of these people: The Brown Noser (aka Assistant Manager), The Office Gossip, and The Inept Moron. My biggest goal with this song is to see someone actually marching around their office singing this at the top of their lungs.


Asshole

Download this track and see the lyric video at http://bit.ly/1K8VEPp

Being the significant other of an artist is never easy. The highs are amazing and the lows are devastating. 

My girlfriend has stuck with me through some major league BS over the years. Every time I think "there's no way she's hanging around for this," she stands by my side and helps me fix whatever needs fixing. 

I hope you've also got someone like that. Someone that will stand by you and help you get through whatever needs getting through. And you'd do the same for them. 

And yes, this is just a sweet little love song. No jokes in this one. :) 

Incidentally, my girlfriend told me this sounds like it could be a song from a Disney film. So if anyone from Disney needs a song...

Kissing in the Rain

Download 8 of my most popular comedy and music hits at http://www.PhilJComedy.com

A Xmas tale about alcohol, drugs, prostitutes, firearms, and Santa Claus.

What Santa Wants - Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction

Get 8 of my my most popular comedy and music hits for free at http://www.PhilJComedy.com

When you've been with someone for a long time you have to work at keeping things spicy in the bedroom.  Here's what I came up with for my 18 year relationship.

From the DVD "Be Yourself...Unless You're An Idiot"

Bad Porno Sex by Phil Johnson

This track is from the album Raising A Rockus - Live At The Historic Hoover Theater and is available for purchase on CD Baby here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/roadside5

Hella Good Day

Afrodizzyac

This track is from the album Ribbed For Your Pleasure and is available for purchase on CD Baby here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/roadside2

Whale Blubber

Two of Me

This track is from the album A Nut Unbroken and is available for purchase on CD Baby here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/roadside3

Blue Collar Anthem

A lot of words are used to describe the holiday season... Love, joy, brotherhood... But I think there's one word that pretty much sums up Christmas.

Download this song for free or tip at http://bit.ly/gimmexmas

Gimme Gimme (A Christmas Lullaby)

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It's a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy.

Roadside Attraction comes from leader Phil Johnson's twin careers in music and comedy. "The idea here is songs and comedy material that are interesting and challenging, but also funny, and understandable by a casual listener," says Johnson. It's more eclectic than Stephen Lynch, funnier than Prince, and more palatable than Frank Zappa, though influences of all three abound.

"I've always been the guy who isn't quite what people expect," says Phil. Using that experience, Phil pokes holes in the medical marijuana argument, discusses being a white guy at a hip hop show (and the innocent gestures that can get him in trouble), and reveals why Hawaii isn't the paradise we think it is.

From Shakespearean bees to redneck vampires to anthropomorphic cell phones with weight issues, Phil Johnson fills the stage with quirky characters that combine social satire with absurdist flights of fancy. Then the guitar comes out and kicks the show into an even higher gear with songs about the bright future (and dark past) of babies and what he would do if he woke up one morning as an actual woman.

Phil Johnson, like everyone else, sometimes gets it and sometimes wonders what the heck people are thinking. On stage his playful humor and likeable, endearing manner allow him to shake things up without antagonizing the audience. In the end we can only be who we are, try to understand others, and hope they understand us.

roadside

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