Side Effects
(Rob Carlson~David Buskin~George Wurzbach)  © 2003 Rob Carlson Music/Poso Music/Odo Island Music

You got a problem, here’s what you do
Go see the doctor, he’s got something for you,
It’s a wonder drug, miracle cure
And it’ll fix that belly button lint for sure.
Just some things you gotta expect,
Could be one, two, three, four maybe more side effects.... 

	Like dry mouth, pleurisy, fever, anemia
	Bloating, bleeding... bulimia
	Thrombosis, halitosis, paranoid hallucinations
	Impotence and/or premature ejaculation
	Shingles, flatulence, hives
	And uncontrollable diarrhea!

Now hold it, Doc!  You mean i might have such side effects as...

	Like herpes, rabies, scabies, dyslexia
	Heebie Jeebies...  anorexia
 	Ulcers, blisters, dizziness and drowsiness
	Headaches, gout, non-specific lousiness
	Scurvy, Ricketts, Plague and
	Uncontrollable Diarrhea.

Floating, flying higher than the sky.
Crashing, burning, am I gonna die?
From...
	
	Dropsey, Coma, Epidural Hematoma
	DT’s Flashbacks, Urge to be in Oklahoma
	Dengue Fever, Malaria
	Crab lice partying in your private area
	(missing)  and did I mention
	Uncontrollable diarrhea.... etc.

Modern Man
Rob Carlson, David Buskin, George Wurzbach 
Thanks to Michael Terry

Modern Immaturity

Side Effects

Small Town Band (Comeau/Carlson)© 2013

Your Own Lyin’ Eyes  (Rob Carlson)

Honey, I’m aware that this looks bad.
The best cleaning lady that we ever had.
Her and me down at the beach ‘til a quarter to three.
Baby, all I need is a little bit of patience,
There’s got to be a good explanation
And could you stop talking about castration, please?

And she said 
“No.  I don’t think so.
I believe it’s time for you to go.”
And I said,
“Tell me Honey who ya gonna believe?
Me or your own lyin’ eyes?”

OK. So there might have been a little canoodle,
That don’t mean the whole kit and caboodle,
The horizontal bop in the back of the Escalade,
I can see there might be confusion.
And it could lead to the wrong conclusions 
She had a playlist!  I wanted to hear what she played!

And she said 
“No.  I don’t think so.
I believe it’s time for you to go.”
And I said,
“Tell me Honey who ya gonna believe?
Me or your own lyin’ eyes?”

There ain’t really nothing going on.
She missed her bus. I drove her home.
All I did was give the young lady a ride,
You had to follow us like some kind of cop,
And turn the whole damn thing into a photo-op,
Well those are not my buns, those are not her thighs,
I mean you’re talkin’ to the wrong damn guy…

(Instrumental…)

And she said “No,
I don’t think so.
Hit the road, Jack, and
Don’t ya come back no more, no more, no more…”
And I said,
“Tell me Honey who ya gonna believe?
Me or your own lyin’ eyes?”


Pete Levin- piano and organ
Tony Levin- bass
Jeff Southworth- electric guitars
Sam Carlson- drums
Amanda Homi- backing vocals
Rob Carlson- lead and backing vocals, acoustic guitar, tamborine



© Rob Carlson 2021All Rights Reserved

Your Own Lyin Eyes

Couldn’t It Be (Rob Carlson/Beth Bradley)

If a body should meet a body
Coming through the rye,
If a body should kiss a body,
Need a body cry.
Everybody got to love somebody,
None they say have I,

But I say “My, my, my…”
When I see the girl come walking
I say, “Why, why, why couldn’t it be?”

Sometimes I think about old Tim Leary
The very last words he said.  (Why not?)
They threw his ass out of Harvard Yard
‘Cause he wouldn’t stop feeding his head.
And when it came his time to leave
He joined the Grateful Dead,

And he said “My. My, my…
Isn’t that Jerry Garcia?”
And I say “Why, why, why couldn’t it be?”

So there’s Tim and Jerry singing
“Come hear Uncle John’s Band”.
And she’s doing the Highland Fling
And I’m doing the best I can.  
She gives that smile to me
And the rest, as they say, is history,
And if it’s checks that I can’t cash, 
We’ll have to wait and see.

Sometimes I think about a better world
Where everybody gets along.
No more poverty, no more war
And everybody likes my songs.
Well, that ain’t happened but I can’t help feeling
It might before too long…

And I say, “My. My. My”
When I see the girl come walking
I say why, why , why
Couldn’t it be?”

Beth Bradley- Acoustic guitar, backing vocals
Paul Payton- electric keyboard
Jeff Southworth- electric guitars
Sam Carlson- drums
Rob Carlson- lead vocal, backing vocals, acoustic guitar, bass 


© 2017 Rob Carlson Music/E.C Bradley Music

Couldn't It Be (Carlson/Bradley)

Hearts of Palm (Carlson/Bradley)

Every time I hear your voice singing soft and low,
Every time I see your face in the afterglow, 
Every time you take my hand and say “No more worries,
Don’t be afraid of these shadows.”

When I’m dreaming my darkest dream and you can wake me,
When I’m wandering far away and you can take me home,
When I’m wondering where I stand
You say no more worries,
Don’t be afraid of these shadows.

And we’re miles away
Down on Isaacs Bay
All troubles gone,
Two Hearts of Palm,
On another perfect day.

Every time the moon draws shadows across the hills,
I turn to you for love and I always will,
I look inside your eyes and see no more worries,
Don’t be afraid of these shadows.

And we’re miles away
Down on Isaacs Bay
All troubles gone,
Two Hearts of Palm,
On another perfect day.




© 2016 Rob Carlson and Beth Bradley

Hearts Of Palm '23 Master

Shadrach, (Meshak and Adednego) (Rob Carlson 2022)

Way back when in Mesopotamia
There were three Jewish boys with unusual names.
The Hebrew kids were in captivity,
All except for just these three
And their names?  
Their names were
Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego.

They had PHD’s, they had MBA’s.
(Shadrach, Meshak and Adednego)
And before you know it they were running the place.
(Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego)
Well, the old boy network went quite insane
‘Cause they been ridin’ on that gravy train
They said “we got to do something ‘bout these boys”.  
Talkin’ ‘bout..
Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego

	Whoa… Jehovah!
	Well they plotted and planned and they planned and they plotted
	And got an idea about building them an idol 
	Make the boys bow down and you know they won’t wanna
	And then we got em!
	Yeah, that’ll fix ‘em.”

(Instrumental)

Now the Big Guy’s name was Nebuchadnezzer.
(Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego)
He was the king of the whole doggone desert.
(Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego)
He said, “You got to bow down to me.
Can’t you see I am a deity?
And predictably they said no!
And their names were
Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego

	Whoa Jehovah!
	Wow, that really honked the Big Guy off,
	He said, “Fire up the furnace, hotter than ever,
	We’ll show these boys they ain’t so clever…
	And thus spake me.. And I’m it…”

They threw the Hebrew children in the fiery furnace,
(Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego)
They said, “You can try but you’ll never burn us.
(Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego)
We got an angel here by our side,
So kiss my tuchis man, we’re doin’ just fine,”
And their names?
Their names were,
Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego.
Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego.

Lead and backing vocals, Acoustic guitar, Bass-  Rob Carlson
Drums- Sam Carlson
Wurlitzer piano and Hammond organ- Pete Levin
Percussion- Ken Lovelett
Soprano sax- Jim Clark
Backing vocals- Amanda Homi



© 2022 Rob Carlson.  All rights reserved.

Shadrach

Those loveable Geezers of legend and song ride... and ride... and ride.  Rob Carlson, David Buskin and George Wurzbach... Modern Man.

Los Geezers Del Amore

Jazz inflected rock featuring Tony Levin- bass, Chris Coogan- electric piano, Sam Carlson- drums, Jim Clark- soprano sax.  Rob Carlson- vocals and acoustic guitar

Flying horses and dancing birds
Stories told in a single word,
Sweet music nobody else can hear,
Gardens blooming on a winter night, 
When the Northern Lights and fireflies appear…
Never tell me that it can’t be true,
Cause I’ve seen what I’ve seen and I know.
What I know is
Strange things happen and the world can change
As soon as somebody says hello.

Magic lantern in a darkened room
Daylight enters, breaks the spell too soon.
Don’t try to tell me it was all a dream
‘Cause I’ve seen it and I know it’s so…
What I know is…
Strange things happen and the world can change
As soon as somebody says hello.

Flying horses going round on the wing,
Calliope singing a song from days gone by.
All you gotta do is reach for the ring
And see what it brings.
You never know if you never try.

Don't try to tell me it was all a dream
'Cause I've seen what I've seen and I know.
What I know is
Strange things happen and the world can change
As soon as somebody says hello.

© 2017 Rob Carlson and Beth Bradley







Strange Things Happen '24 remaster

Here and Now  (Rob Carlson 2024)

What a time it was when love was all that mattered.
Sunny days and all those roads ahead.
And just as long as we could be together
We could go wherever they led.

But life has ways of making its own changes.
You can read it in the shoreline of the sea.
Now you’re not you and I’m not me.
We’re not the people we set out to be, that’s for sure.

	But we’re right here and it’s right now
	And the roads have brought us home somehow,
	And the only place we really need to be
	Is right here and now.

And we will always be here together,
Lives entwined forever and a day.
And speaking just for me you know I
Wouldn’t have it any other way.

	‘Cause we’re right here and it’s right now
	And the roads have brought us home somehow,
	And the only place we really need to be
	Is right here and now.


© 2024 Rob Carlson

Here and Now

Your Own Lyin’ Eyes (Rob Carlson 5-13-24)

Honey, I'm aware that this looks bad,
The best cleaning lady that we ever had. 
Her and me down at the beach 'til a quarter to three.
All I need is a little bit of patience,
Got to be a good explanation
And would you stop talking about castration please?
And she said “no,  I don’t think so.
I believe it’s time for you to go.”
And I said,
“Tell me Honey who ya gonna believe? 
Me or your own lyin’ eyes?”

Okay, so there might have been a little canoodle.
That don't mean the whole kit and caboodle,
The horizontal bop in the back of the Escalade.
I can see it might cause confusion,
Could lead to thew wrong conclusion,
She had a playlist!  I wanted to hear what she played.

She said “No!
I don’t think so,
I believe... it’s time for you to go,
And I said,
“Tell me Honey, who ya gonna believe? 
Me or your own lyin’ eyes?”

(Bridge)
There’s really nothing going on,
She missed her bus, I drove her home
All I did was give the young lady a ride,
Well you followed like some kind of cop,
And turned the whole thing into a photo-op, 
Well, that’s not my buns , those are not her thighs,
I mean you’re talkin’ to the wrong damn guy...

(Instrumental)

And she said “No,
I don’t think so.
Hit the road, Jack, and
Don’t ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more...” 
And I said,
“Tell me Honey who ya gonna believe?
Me or your own lyin’ eyes?”

© Rob Carlson 2024 All Rights Reserved

Rob Carlson- Lead and backing vocal, Acoustic guitar, Tamborine
Pete Levin- Piano and Organ
Tony Levin- Bass
Jeff Southworth- Electric Guitars
Sam Carlson- Drums
Amanda Homi- backing vocals


Your Own Lyin' Eyes (2025 remaster)

Shadrach, (Meshak and Adednego) (Rob Carlson 2022)
Way back when in Mesopotamia
There were three Jewish boys with unusual names.
The Hebrew kids were in captivity,
All except for just these three
And their names?  
Their names were
Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego.

They had PHD’s, they had MBA’s.
(Shadrach, Meshak and Adednego)
And before you know it they were running the place.
(Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego)
Well, the old boy network went quite insane
‘Cause they been ridin’ on that gravy train
They said “we got to do something ‘bout these boys”.  
Talkin’ ‘bout..
Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego

	Whoa… Jehovah!
	Well they plotted and planned and they planned and they plotted
	And got an idea about building them an idol 
	Make the boys bow down and you know they won’t wanna
	And then we got em!
	Yeah, that’ll fix ‘em.”

(Instrumental)

Now the Big Guy’s name was Nebuchadnezzer.
(Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego)
He was the king of the whole doggone desert.
(Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego)
He said, “You got to bow down to me.
Can’t you see I am a deity?
And predictably they said no!
And their names were
Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego

	Whoa Jehovah!
	Wow, that really honked the Big Guy off,
	He said, “Fire up the furnace, hotter than ever,
	We’ll show these boys they ain’t so clever…
	And thus spake me.. And I’m it…”

They threw the Hebrew children in the fiery furnace,
(Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego)
They said, “You can try but you’ll never burn us.
(Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego)
We got an angel here by our side,
So kiss my tuchis man, we’re doin’ just fine,”
And their names?
Their names were,
Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego.
Shadrach, Meshak, Adednego.


Rob Carlson- lead and backing vocals, acoustic guitar, bass, tamborine
Pete Levin- Wurlitzer piano, Hammond organ
Jim Clark- soprano sax
Sam Carlson- drums
Ken Lovelett- percussion
Amanda Homi- backing vocals


© 2022 Rob Carlson.  All rights reserved.


Shadrach ('25 remaster)

A Caribbean flavored love song written and performed with Beth Bradley.

Hearts Of Palm M - 04

This was done a few years back with Michael Terry.  All done with tape speed, before harmonizers.  Had to slow it down, perform it slow and then speed it up twice after doing the track the same way to keep the instruments from "Chipmunking" and keep the key consistant.  And do it all twice.  I got a whole new respect for David Saville.

Parodies Lost

Chipmunk Song

Written by Rob Carlson and Beth Bradley.  A song about our fathers.

Our Dads (Carlson/Bradley)

Written by Rob Carlson in 1972, based on the paintings by American folk artist Edward Hicks.  Originally the title cut on a 1974 Polydor Album by Rob Carlson and Jon Gailmor, this solo version recorded in 1993 by Rob and released on Outer Green Records.  Features Michael Terry on backing vocals plus piano by Steve Gaspar and mandolin by Larry Campbell.

Peaceable Kingdom

Recorded live at Bottom Line in New York City, June 1999.  Rob Carlson performing with "Modern Man".

Wide Album

God Loves The Irish

Rob Carlson and Jon Gailmor get together again for the first time in over forty years on this old chestnut from King Harvest.  May 2018.
With Jeff Southworth on electric guitars, Paul Payton on keys and bass and Sam Carlson on drums.

Dancin' in the Moonlight

Time and Time Again M - 05

A song about America, it's complexity and contradictions; its sheer size and ferocious energy.

Americana

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so here's a little something from my back pages with Modern Man in tribute to the late Leon Redbone.  I opened for Redbone several times at Phil Ciganer's Town Crier Cafe and got to know him backstage.  Very interesting cat.  He was a guy who lived his own persona, never completely dropped out of character.  Also a superb guitarist and comedian with exquisite timing.  The idea for this song came from a character created by Abra Bigham, who was at that time married to my Modern Man partner David Buskin, and is the mother of Sophie Buskin.  Her character was "The worst dominatrix in New York", but the rhymes were better with "LA".  So with Abra's permission I moved the character west.  So Redbone, this one's for you.

Worst Dominatrix In LA

The whole world is made sacred by the lives we have lived.  "Wherever you go, whoever you are, you're walking on sacred ground."

Here We Are

Three of the most memorable New Years of my life were spent in Christiansted, on St. Croix in the USVI.  Another place, another time.

Pieces of Paradise

Christiansted

You don't remember the Del-Robs?  Neither do I.  I wrote this for Modern Man with David Buskin and George Wurzbach.  This is a new recording (2018) with Jeff Southworth on electric guitars, Sam Carlson on drums and Paul Payton on cheesy Farfisa organ.

Channel Surfin'

For several years I played in St. Croix, USVI in the winter.  During that time, and three subsequent trips to Jamaica, I fell in love with calypso, rock steady and reggae.  So here's a remix with a new lead vocal of a song done about ten years ago with the Benefit Street Band, which is Paul Payton (keys), Vin Pasternak (mandolin), Sam Carlson (drums) and yours truly on guitar and vocals.  Ya mon!

Isaac Smiles

Prayer for Memphis (R. Carlson 2009)

Now Mister, I don’t know
If you’re the praying kind.
But it seems like everybody
Has got to go there from time to time.
So next time the spirit moves you
To get down on your knees
Won’t you do something special for me, please
Wouldn’t you…

Say a prayer for Memphis
	Memphis, Tennessee
	That beat up old river town
	Gave us rock and roll, gave us R&B
	For Elvis and for Otis, Reverend Greene and Jerry Lee…
Say a prayer for Memphis, Tennessee.  

Now Memphis was a cotton town
In the days of slavery,
The place where Martin Luther King got shot down
On a motel balcony,
Now who would have thought from a place like that
Would come such a legacy?
I guess some things were meant to be,
Wouldn’t you?

	Say a prayer for Memphis,
	Memphis, Tennessee.
        For Al Jackson and Steve Cropper, Duck Dunn and Booker T.
	They put it all behind them
	Let the music set them free.
	Say a prayer for Memphis, Tennessee. 
	Get down on your knees one time just for me
	And Say a prayer for Memphis, Tennessee. 


Bill Holloman- Horns
Jeff Southworth- electric guitars
Scott Spray- bass
Sam Carlson- drums

© 2009 Rob Carlson

Prayer For Memphis

Infinite Monkeys (R. Carlson Dec. 2019)

Give me an infinite number of monkeys
On an infinite number of days,
Give every one of them a laptop computer
And let ‘em all bang away.

Sooner or later you’re gonna get Shakespeare,
That’s what people say.
Sooner or later you get Dostoevsky,
Flaubert and Hemingway.

Singing…
OMG……. OMG…..
LOL and I mean LMAO.
OMG…. Ain’t no BFD,
All I need is plenty of time and chimpanzees.

You got your Howler monkeys working on Ginsburg
Your Capuchins workin’ on Poe.
There’s a couple of ‘em maybe doin’ Finnegan’s Wake
But how would we ever know?

You got your marmosets working on Socrates,
Plato and Aristotle.
And the spiders got heavy into Charles Bukowski 
And now they’re all hittin’ the bottle.

(Chorus)   

(bridge)
But you gotta keep an eye on your simians,
Their attention spans are short.
Pretty soon your orangutans are shopping on Ebay
And the Baboons are looking at sports,

Your Macaques are heavy into Grand Theft Auto,
So consider yourself warned.
When your gorillas are off playing fantasy football
And your Bonobos are looking at porn…

Singing…
OMG……. OMG…..
LOL and I mean LMAO.
OMG…. Ain’t no BFD,
All I need is plenty of time and chimpanzees.


Piano- Pete Levin
Drums- Sam Carlson

© 2020 Rob Carlson

Infinite Monkeys

Shakin’ on Down (Rob Carlson Aug. 2014)

There’s a train on a westbound track,
You climb aboard and you don’t look back
You go shakin’ on down.

Everybody’s got to take that ride.
We all know it but we don’t know why
We go shakin’ on down.

Shakin’ like a bag of maracas, drive wheels singing along,
You just look out the window to change your point of view.

Settle back and enjoy the ride,
Pass the dutchie on the left hand side and go…
Shakin’ on down, down the road…

(Instrumental)

Switchback climbing up the mountainside,
Across the Mississippi to the great divide…
Shakin’ on down.

People gettin’ on, people getting’ off, 
People gettin’ along,  and the dogs bark,
The train moves on…

Take it with a grain of salt and let that bad boy ride,
Just don’t ever let them take your dancin’ shoes.

So don’t you worry ‘bout a doggone thing,
When the fat lady sings, well… she sings,
And you’re taken on down, 
Down the road.


© Rob Carlson  All Rights Reserved

Shakin' On Down

Strange Things Happen (R. Carlson, B. Bradley)

Flying horses and dancing birds
Stories told in a single word,
Sweet music nobody else can hear,
Gardens bloom on a winter night, 
When the Northern Lights and fireflies appear…

Never tell me that it can’t be true,
Cause I’ve seen what I’ve seen and I know.
What I’ve learned is
Strange things happen and the world can change
As soon as somebody says hello.

Magic lantern in a darkened room
Daylight enters, breaks the spell too soon.

Don’t try to tell me it was all a dream
‘Cause I’ve seen it and I know it’s so…
What I know is…
Strange things happen and the world can change
As soon as somebody says hello.

Flying horses going ‘round on the wing,
Calliope singing a song from days gone by.
All you’ve got to do is reach for the ring
And see what it brings.
You’ll never know if you never try.

Never tell me that it can’t be true,
Cause I’ve seen what I’ve seen and I know,
What I’ve learned is…
Strange things happen and the world can change
As soon as somebody says hello.


Drums: Sam Carlson
Bass: Tony Levin
Sax: Jim Clark
Keyboard: Chris Coogan


© 2017 Rob Carlson and Beth Bradley

Rob Carlson

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