Name: control_is_an_illusion.mp3 by roesque
Duration: 30 s
Description: eternal sunshine of the spotless mind vii -sco

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/toneylattimorejr/

This was supposed to be released after the dnb version which was created first, however, I'm still making changes and finishing it, so it'll be released later today. (no promises) :]

Peach

<3

sleeping through weekends
sleeping through weekdays
sleeping through family events
i just don't care

sleep through the alarm clock
sleep until my heart stops
sleep until i don't wake
fighting my fear of death

fighting my fear of death
fighting my fear of death

sleeping in guest rooms
sleeping depressed, too
sleepwalk out to the bridge
i'll jump one day

sleep to avoid things
sleep and act dead
said you'll wake me up soon well
what are you waiting for?

what are you waiting for?
what are you waiting for?

sleep

eternal life

Spotlight w/ Marshmello

cigarettes.mp3

lifted

stream <3

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind vii -sco

control_is_an_illusion.mp3

𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧

garden shed

repeat to yourself that they're not really gone
time has proven that fooling yourself into believing
a lie is the most effective way to deal with
things you have no control over

keep listening to the mixtapes they made you
overanalyse every single word you hear
"was this a sign that things were going wrong"
no no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them

stay up every single night staring at your phone
either attempting to gather up the courage to
turn these demons, these constant reminders of
your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream
or praying just for one second you could feel
the warmth of equally returned love

go out for coffee four times a week by yourself
always bring your notebook, never stop writing
leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip
watch them smile as you get in your car

always talk down on yourself whenever possible
my life is shit because i deserve it, right?
you must have done something real bad
its nearly impossible for you to cry now

avoid your friends for weeks even though
they're the only sense of consistency you have
left in your life, if they really wanted
to see you they'd come, but they won't (who cares?)

allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love
watch as you begin to take a backseat to the
world around you, don't fight it
become a secondary character in your own motion picture

but most importantly drown every single one of
your feelings in old stolen rum, learn to
love the taste of it dripping down your throat
find comfort in the warmth coming from your
stomach, you're drinking bottled love now

you don't need other people to drive away your loneliness
you just needed to find a way to talk to it

how to never stop being sad

lay awake
counting all the time you waste
sleep for days
sink into the bed you've made

left alone
in a place you can't call home
so get high
don't tell your friends you want to die

because that's life
and its cruel
and its wrong
but you have to hold on

because love
can be felt
in a song
long after i'm gone

so when i
am put to death
for the things
that i've done

just know
that inside 
of my heart
that you
were the one

control_is_an_illusion.mp3

roesque

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