i dont wanna be myself 
i wanna be someone else 
right now, i know 

i changed my mind, ill go to hell
just feed me and keep me in a cell
spend everyday needing so much fucking help
ill tell you the secret and see if you tell 

im not afraid of falling anymore 
i stare at the face 
i ignore features that look the same
theres a hook in my face
pull it out another one forms behind it
instantly cut off circulation
i feel my eyelids flutter as i struggle to sit
i just collapse to my knees in a fit
coughing, laughing, dry heave
punch my fist against the seat and the lid 

theres a message in here somewhere !
changing lanes
ill stay in mine
you stay insane
i love this crowd
dog bites man 
man drops a hydrogen bomb on the ground 
i got a sweet tooth 
i like it when i find hidden objects
i see you
underneath the grass
rubbing against me 
touch it, whats the difference?
ask me if its empty
over turn the glass and get every single last drop out 

oh god its fit right in the palm of my hand now 
rejected blessing i see the angel it shines down
im happy to have the plaque scrapped from my teeth
i added gems to my canines
im playing with them as we speak 

i lie and i steal things
try to be revealing 
off putting !!!
show me where i lost footing
lip service
cock sucking dick circus 
ill be at auction but all of this shits worthless

couldnt begin to imagine how that happened
hey, look over there! 
spit in a napkin!
are you kidding? im asking
are you shitting in my hand or wishing on black magic?
you didnt understand
sometimes its okay to match the energy of your worst man
im the dead spy, i got two red eyes
ill let you guess why i stare out my blinds paranoid
people around me notice and im afraid that theyre annoyed
or think im crazy, and maybe theyre right
backdrop: illusion of contact
age it until it tastes like a safe ride
take you home in the back of a sports car
godly intention so pure as im sure that yours are

i dont wanna be myself
i wanna be someone else

Numbing Agent

Probably my favorite song on this album.
The "main loop" is from a rehearsal recording of my math-rock type band, Ultra Death Men, sped up and cut up.
The song is about a lot of things, as always, but was most heavily inspired by my first trip to San Diego. It was a pretty strange, negative, and intense part of my life, but the experiences I had there had profound effects on my outlook.
The first line of the lyrics references one night Bradlea and I were driving through the desert and the entire dusk sky was literally a full rainbow.
The reiteration of that part of the song the second time is about how I'd wake up every morning to a collection of four cats sleeping on me and they'd all scramble away from me when they realized I was awake, as if to hide the fact that they'd been sleeping on me.

Loud Noise In My Room

SATISFY.

Buy Now - http://po.st/SATISFY 

Stream Now - smarturl.it/SATISFYSP



Between II Worlds

Satisfy

BUY NOW

Justice - D.A.N.C.E.

7th track from http://soundcloud.com/machinedrum's epic 'Room(s)' LP

Machinedrum - GBYE

DOWNLOAD THE ISOLATED VOCAL TRACK
FEEL FREE TO MONETIZE YOUR OWN REMIXES IDC
128 BPM
linkly.link/2C69d

YES I PLAY THE SEX FREAK GAME

UP TO DATE TOUR INFO: https://blacksquares.neocities.org/
Fresh Straw Berries Tour with Bubblegum Octopus

BanG Dream! Ave Mujica AMV
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyPspF3VF0s

TYSM to (un)familiar. who contributed some mix notes for me

Tiny little problems
Everybody's got 'em
Who wins the race in the race to the bottom?
Maybe got a problem
Probably got a lot of them
K so rotted give a fuck if it's toxic

People say I'm too old for this shit
So true, I'm too old for this shit
People like to say I'm too old for this shit
That's so true, I'm  too old for this

Day after day
I feel so dumb
Pressed up against
Unnatural
'n weighted down
By what I want 
A thing I covet
I can't become
   
Pull at me, you're so entitled
Quiet as the tomb
Who put in design, desire
Signal, interference,
All-in-one?

In perfect darkness
Bathed in all potential
Peeking thru the keyhole:
Know,
One day we'll all forge-

Tiny little problems
Everybody's got 'em
Who wins the race in the race to the bottom?
Maybe got a problem
Probably got a lotta them
Shits so rotted give a fuck if its toxic

People say I'm too old for this shit
So true, I'm too old for this shit
People like to say I'm too old for this shit
That's so true, I'm too old for this

Inside myself
Echoes my life
Crushed up against
Filled up to the eyes
Bleed out the meat
Blot out the sky
Caught in my throat
Just trying to say goodnight
Just trying to say goodbye

In perfect darkness
Bathed in all potential
Peeking thru the keyhole:
Know,
One day we'll all forget

Forget

Theme song for Special Girls Story, in development by Rabbitmaiden Softworks. Art by yogurt200
https://yogurt200.com/
https://yogurt200.itch.io/

I can't stay here
If we weren't built to find a way
If we-
If I don't ever escape
Please just remember I'm here
Ocean waves will wash me off
Kiss my heart and lock it up
Tie me up and burn us down together

I can't stand the echo of the grinding of the planets teeth
She's always sleeping in
Her restless dreams--
Still I feel the walls close me in between us
Once I thought I'd live for love
My silly praying, was it all just sugar spun?
It's like a web in negative
We're still not sure whats in between us

And I've been held, and still I'm cold
I've been peirced, and I've been shot thru by love dearly
And when my blood pumps thru the walls
I hope my new form in my new life here can hear me
Because dreams aren't enough for me anymore
You act like a little tampering never set you down the right path

Climb the stairs
Sleep it off
Take a bath
Fill the world with blood
That's just how things are
So can you just hold me close under the grace of God
Clear the air
Scheme and plot
You're a mess you cant clean up
I don't even need to read your thoughts coz they just spill out like they're water or something

Something
....I want something
I can't ignore it
Something
It's like a thread
Pulling my center towards it

Acting strange and desperate
A shimmer of light reaches down to me in the dark
Realm of color around my head

Halfway from the surface
I feel a wireframe design for hope but I'm scared
Even if it doesn't feel real yet

Can we work together?
I'm all in your face cos I want your attention
But you haven't noticed yet

Don't believe in failure
Our fantasy seems empty but we already made it this far
Realm of color around our heads

I'll tell you everything I know
I'll tell you everything I know
I'll tell you everything I know about love

Short text on the revelations of divine love

Zodiak - Pacific (Matas update mix)

▴◭Δ◮▴

@rooksfeather & @neotenomie
the most 🔥🔥🔥 album about gay trash, chronic pain & dissociation you've heard all year 

help me do what i like if you like what i do: https://www.patreon.com/ESPer99

SUPEREGO ROYAL JELLY

👉👉👉 OWN IT

rook&nomie - SUPEREGO ROYAL JELLY - 04 YEARWOUNDS

Bag Of Bombs

ACROBAT OVER A VAT OF ACID CRAP

Blood Soup

the first version of the remix i made for Soya Modified (http://soundcloud.com/soyamodified) in 2007. I think, i'll change something in it this summer.

Soya Modified - Time to go (Matas Remix)

this is a song that was written in 2016 over a beat made in 2019 revisited in 2021.

lyrics:
my instinct tells me i smell like fresh meat
and i better be ready to defend myself if i need to
although ive never been in a fight
im weak and youre right
im sorry i didnt believe you
and ill apologize a second time
when i see you
because im sure it will lead to
the unbearable feeling that we are both only the same
and both totally insane
i feel it next to me etching itself into my skin
so i can start to act like a small part of myself again
youll see it too and know that its a preview
as we stand totally frozen and try to regroup
and after everything melts away into something else
well find another person and offer them all our help 
stepped with the wrong foot first
now it hurts to walk
ill walk it off stop talking shit 


i drank the blood but im still human
still want to do drugs 
i drank the blood but im pretty sure that i didnt drink enough

its shallow here
vapid
all my strength was sapped when i strapped in
i got tired so i napped
and when i woke up i found all the feeling was back
yeah at least it was until i needed it
squeeze every last bit of lust out of my bleeding tip
isnt it funny how quick they switch it in their minds 
when collective conscious isnt enough to get by
i know i know i know
humans cant fly
thats why they clipped the wings off every damn time
i didnt mean to abstract myself
im the sum of my goals subtracted by my shelf life
i helped drive the price up
so i must die!
i struck out blindly and touched my own rough side

i didnt mean to get frustrated
but sometimes i just fuck up and i fuckin hate it

▴◭Δ◮▴

Ada Rook

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