Song from the Electropop duo I was in with my friend Rich at uni, made around the time Pluto lost its planet status 😢

Goodbye, Pluto - The Boot Boys

A song about the small dogs in the park near where I work.

Small Dogs

Raining Cats And Dogs

A song in which I grapple with no longer working by the park with all the nice small dogs. Did they ever exist? Is there any meaning to existence?

We Don't Deserve Dogs

A song about Lulu, a heroic dog who refused to be coerced into being a "sniffer".

Sniff Butts Not Bombs

Mark E Smith died the other day
And I've been listening to Fall songs ever since

All of a sudden, this morning,
I realised I had a dog.

I said I don't remember seeing you round here.
He said: Woof-oof-oof-oof-oof...
He said: Woof-oof-oof-oof-oof...
I am a dog-ah!

I think my dog is the reincarnation of Mark E Smith.

I said you've come at the wrong time Mark
I've quit drinking

The dog just looked at me
And without breaking eye contact
Did that awkward squatting thing dogs do
And curled out a shit.

I am a dog-ah!
I am a dog-ah!

Mark, I said
I feel like I have a very superficial appreciation of music
Even yours, which I love
I barely know the lyrics
Mainly the funny ones
I guess I just like the rhythm

The dog shuffled backwards over the fresh pile of faeces
There was a pause
He watched me intently
I watched back
He threw up, retching thick, claggy sick.

I am a dog-ah!
I am a dog-ah!

I said I didn't sign up for this!
That carpet is fucked!
Mark E Smith or not, you've really fucked the carpet.

Also,
There are some words in your songs that I wish there weren't
and you did some shitty stuff
which I just sort of ignored
and i feel pretty shitty about it.

And the dog looked at me
He did.. he really did look like Mark E Smith
He looked at me
And he looked down at his vomit covered shit
and me looked at me
and he looked down at his vomit covered shit.

I am a dog-ah!
I am a dog-ah!

I Think My Dog Is The Reincarnation Of Mark E Smith

Molly was a young dog - a puppy!
We took her for a walk
In the sand dunes.

There was a pond.
We threw sticks in it.
Sticks Molly wanted.

But she wasn't sure... about the water!

So I picked her up
And I walked into the pond
I walked into the pond
Until the water was half up my shins
Till the water was half up my shins

....AND I DROPPED HER IN!!

Now, Molly loves swimming.
But I wondered, afterwards, about the ethics of that act.

Molly! Molly! Molly loves swimming!
Molly! Molly! Molly loves swimming!
Molly! Molly! Molly loves swimming!
Molly! Molly! Molly loves swimming!

Molly Loves Swimming

It's a long time since I wrote a song about dogs
Small or otherwise.
Sorry, Bodil.

It's not for want of trying.
I've just been tired...
Dog tired

A lot of stuff’s been happening recently
Too much stuff if you ask me
Leaves you dizzy just trying to keep up
Leaves you tired

I wonder why it is that dogs
get a tiredness all their own 
Seems a bit unfair if you ask me

Bats get a cave
Cats get a nap
So do goats

Humans get all of nature
But dogs get to be tired
Dog Tired

Dog Tired

welcome to the 12th annual conference
on the application of psychoanalysis to
understanding the mind and behaviour of dogs

i would like to present my paper
based on years of field study
and a comprehensive review of the literature

the psyche of dogs, i argued
is composed of three distinct parts

id, edog, superdog
id, edog, superdog

id, edog, superdog
id, edog, superdog

here’s an extract
from my field notes

id, edog, superdog
id, edog, superdog

id, edog, superdog
id, edog, superdog

here’s an extract
from my field notes

id, edog, superdog
id, edog, superdog

id, edog, superdog
id, edog, superdog

(Not sure if this is quite finished yet but w/e. If you have any ideas hmu)

rsslldnphy