could not think of lyrics for this song for the actual life of me so here it shall be posted until then.

American Black (Instrumental)

samples 'dreams of william' by daughter

if i told you how
i felt right now 
i'd let it in
and it won't get out

so i hold it down
pinned to the ground 
and watch the life drip from it's eyes 
and hanging mouth

and i feel stupid now
i brought it up 
and put it down
praying hard that i 
would some day come around

and i watch the flame in your eyes 
die out 
and the pain arise into your mouth
choked up and out
it all flew south

and i carry doubt 
on my back like a house
carried it all around
my knees are scarped and worn out

settle down now
i tell myself when my head howls
like a bad dog on the lawn of the neighbors
backyard

control was never mine to keep and
fear wraps its hands around my feet and he whispers
dead nothings to me

god i wish i knew what it felt like
to know what to do in this life 
when it feels like 
my heads bound for the knife

and i can't face myself
so i black out all the mirrors in the house
all the mirrors in the house

and i am waiting for the day where i am
brave enough to take myself away from this place

i'll do them this favor
i'll do them this favor
i'll do them this favor

Doubt

Dont Matter (Demo)

Child Of It All

Backroads

Under God

Dead Deer

Let It In (Intro)

"What happens to a house when it is left alone? It becomes worn and aged. And its paint peels and its foundations begin to sink. It goes for too long unlived in. What does it think of? What does it dream? How does it regard those creatures who built it? Who brought it into existence only to abandon it when its usefulness no longer satisfies them. It may grow lonesome. It may stare for long hours into the darkness of its empty halls and see shadows. Its heart may jump as it thinks "here, here is someone again, I am not alone." Each time it is wrong. And the hurt starts over. It may haunt itself, inventing ghosts to walk its floors, making friends with its shadow puppets, laughing and whispering to itself at the end of some quiet cul-de-sac. It may grow angry. Its basement may fill with churning acid like an empty stomach. And its gorge may rise as it asks itself, through clenched teeth, "what did I do wrong?" It may grow bitter. It may grow hungry. So hungry and so bitter that its scruples dissolve and its doors unlock themselves. While a house may hunger, it cannot starve. And so in fever and anger and loneliness, it may simply lie in wait. Doors open. Shades drawn. Hallways empty. Hungry." - kittyhorrorshow's "ANATOMY"

Every House Is Haunted

this is a song that was supposed to go on my most recent release 'suburban disturbance' but was cast aside. i still have love for it so i'll leave it here for now.

Branches (Suburban Disturbance Outtake)

lyrics:

there's a ghost that stands on the edge of the lawn and
he tells me that im so far gone from reality, as he's watching me
he never comes inside but i know that he's out at night
cuz i hear his cries like he's in front of me, in front of me

he says i'll drown in the mississippi when i'm all alone
running from my history, i don't believe
i don't believe
until he showed me what he means, mud on my teeth as i'm sinking
sinking

i push the earth around me
to make way for all i'm bearing
and i'm strung up from the highest tree
and he watched as it all was happening

The Highest Tree (Unfinished Demo)

Lateral Incisor (Demo)

salto angel - ruby throat
child psychology - black box recorder
angels - shallowater
hello goodbye - waveform*
metal heart - cat power
nutshell - alice in chains
angels and fuselage - drive-by truckers
head in the ceiling fan - title fight
my hero - foo fighters
where am i? - title fight
wasn't this what you wanted? - sl4shgrl
milkweed/it hangs heavy - pharmakon
please don't leave me - uboa
trumpeting ecstasy - full of hell
we hate you - electric wizard
void - fvnerals
fracture - brahm
an afternoon - no place like home

[download available]
 
spotify playlist:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6P3UzYJCuImeUsTPXM8EwB?si=434d44aa99474bb2

My Disappearance (A Ruened Mix)

Bridge The Chasm

Something else has taken their place.
Something I am unable to see. Waiting.
I'm afraid.
It is hungry. It is immortal.
Worse, It knows nothing of whim.

Ruenous

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