(instrumental - soulitude By Bjorn Vader, https://soundcloud.com/bjorn-vader/soulitude)

lyrics:
Everywhere I go I go alone 
when I get there I open up 
to make myself known to new friends 
I know I'm never gonna see again when I get back home 
that's the way it's always been when im flowing 
water only gets you wet when touching you 
birds only land and sit when our work is through 
but we seed the earth with flowers 
quench em with these passing showers
don't mention it, this is all of ours
Don't let me get in your way, 
nest and rest after everything you did to get this far 
I hear a new sound out past the horizon 
I'm a make contact while I still got my eyes in
see you when I see you 
I'll come find you while you're flying
Be you and I will too
Be well
Let it be known I can still feel you when I hold you in my mind's eye
that part makes the distance bearable
That strap makes the watch wearable
That's why I carry you in here
That's why I married you in here
Cuz I'm in here wherever this ship goes
It's not on autopilot but steering is difficult
And some times I get stuck staring at screens, analog and digital
Dig in on a mission missing signs that I'm missing you
Lose track of the time that your living through
It's hard to imagine what I'm missing too
So back of my mind I'm miserable
Still grieving all that I've lost from leaving
Every different school,
Every conversation, every party, every clique and group
they put me in, I didn't click, I felt invisible, 
Every church, every congregation, every ritual
Everyone that wouldn't listen to my symptoms if I didn't give em proof
Everyone that can't fit through the cracks that I slip into
I'm carving art in the darkness on cold stone hoping it gets to you
I'm marking out a new path on an old map knowing you might unfold it when you see something worth getting to

everywhere everyone

I've Been Trying (take 1) 4.25.2021 10am

Got My Diagnosis Yesterday

someday you'll leave home
and not know where you're from
just might forget all that you've learned
its not what you earn that matters

and that day you'll find out
a light cant be put out
most of things are inside your head
theyll be gone when your dead so relax

but theres a slope that one might fall
that could be missed if only saw
but the world is filled with ominous fog
dont trip on the log while your searchin

and when you love your own
it feels just like your sewn
words that now just dont mean a thing
i want you to sing on your own
a song you will learn when your grown
and you will be just fine

Youll Leave Home

Ghosts

Untitled 435

Krautastoc

Pop Art

Bad Ogre Bad

I don't plow fields. I wander til I find them as they are then I wonder bout living here until I intuit it's time to start moving

People have faith in so much that's not available to me. Things fall apart. Words tease to fuzzy vibrations that serve better for cloud watching and storm chasing than choosing the right clothes for The Weather ahead. Everything else is made up of words or wordless. What I'm left with is this, that I Know the same is True for you. We're brothers and sisters in a world that can never make enough sense to get dressed properly. We try on increasingly elaborate  costumes and uniforms and reminded constantly of the ill fit of all the stitched together fabrics, their tendency to deconstruct, and our desperate need to not be completely naked, not always anyways.

sit with me for a minute.
we're in it and that's it, innit?
the emperor has no clothes an we been in the trickle down business
but that's just the beginning
beyond the horizon lies in wait a fate
we can't envision because we lack the lenses
times remind us our blindness defines our senses
who counts, who deserves our defenses
who sees the god in you and speaks truth to power
just who our friends is in this darkness of hours

who sees the god in you and speaks truth to power

Trapped in a garage in Austin TX, writing songs for dead June bugs with whatever i can get my hands on. Send Help

Youll Leave Home

Rush Sandifer

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