(Dedicated to a woman who inadvertently helped me to believe that I was unlovable after an internet flirtation led to a disastrous weekend encounter.)

So this is how it ends
Not with a bang but a whimper
We thought we could end as friends
But it wasn’t quite that simple

I don’t think I’ll be seeing you again
No not again

It wasn’t always dreadful
It wasn’t all empty lines
If we had been more careful
We could have seen the signs

You don’t think you’ll be seeing me again
No never again

So this is how it ends (X4)

(Anticlimactic whimper)

Confusion Redux

I've got a little red fire engine
The fire's in my head
I've got a little red fire engine
The fire's in my head
It was something you said
It was something you said
It was something you said
Or maybe just the fact that you never really cared

I've got a little red fire engine
The fire's in my head
I've got a little red fire engine
The fire's in my head
What else could you expect
What else could you expect
What else could you expect
When all you ever gave me was neglect

I've got a little red fire engine
The fire's in my head
I've got a little red fire engine
The fire's in my head
Maybe someday I'll forget
Maybe someday I'll forget
Maybe someday I'll forget
But all that I know is that it hasn't happened yet

(GUITAR SOLO)

I've got a little red fire engine
The fire's in my head
I've got a little red fire engine
The fire's in my head
It was something you said
It was something you said
It was something you said
That made me wish that you were DEAD!

1-2-3-4-5-6 78910

(GUITAR SOLO)

It was something that you said that made me wish that you were dead
But I cannot live with all this guilt upon my head
So I'm gonna wish I'm gonna wish I'm gonna wish that I was the one who was dead instead
Because I cannot live with the thought that I could ever wish ever wish ever wish ever wish
That you were DEAD, D-DEAD, D-DEAD, D-DEAD, D-DEAD, D-DEAD, D-DEAD, D-DEAD, D-DEAD, D-DEAD, D-DEAD, D-DEAD, DEAD!
And maybe someday, maybe someday I can learn to get, I can learn to get this
Little red fire engine
This little red fire engine
This little red fire engine
This little red fire engine
This little red fire engine
This little red fire engine
Out of my head
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Little Red Fire Engine

(I was hoping this would come off as a cross between the White Stripes and Trio, and it’s my most solo track on the album as I engineered and mixed on a friend’s Mac G5.)

Feeling rejected Woah Woah Woah (X2)

Feeling lost and a little bit shy
Getting tossed and wondering why
Star-crossed every time I try
Totally sauced and I need to cry

Feeling rejected Woah Woah Woah (X2)

CHORUS
But I don’t give a fuck (He can’t control his luck)
I can’t control my luck (So he don’t give a fuck)
No I don’t give a fuck (He can’t control his luck)
I can’t seem to control anything anymore (Anymore)

It’s a feeling all out of whack
Got me reeling and I need some slack
Dirty dealing behind my back
Need some healing but all I get is flack

Feeling rejected Woah Woah Woah (X2)

CHORUS

Feeling rejected Woah Woah Woah (X4)
Feeling rejected (X5)
Shit!

Feeling Rejected [Explicit]

Love With You

(This song makes me think of Sonic Youth, Hüsker Dü and My Bloody Valentine, but I hardly expect it to work that way for you.)

Everything’s falling apart when love is confusion
You flail about in vain when love is confusion
It feels like a disease when love is confusion
You can’t help falling in rain when love is confusion

CHORUS:
And it’s sweet and it’s sour both at the same time

You’re thinking about it too much when love is confusion
You’re vulnerable and you know it when love is confusion
You tear at whatever is there when love is confusion
You can’t help trying to blow it when love is confusion

CHORUS

And it’s sad and it’s funny both at the same time
And it’s pain and it’s pleasure both at the same time
Both at the same time (X4)

Love Is Confusion

8-track heaven on tape
Heaven 17 on 8-track
8-track tape in player
One plus seven is 8-tracks

Say it 8 times really fast
Say it 8 times really fast
Say it 8 times really fast
Say it 8 times really fast

CHORUS: 8-track love
With 8 different people
In 8 different places
With 8 tracks playing the whole time

Barry White on 8-track
8cc’s of sperm goes
8 centimeters all the way
8 million of them every day

8-track is forever
8-track is forever
8-track is forever
8-track is forever

CHORUS

8-track love
8-track love
8-track love
8-track love

8-Track Love

(Another leftover from the early ‘00s that endured as part of the ongoing debate between Social Darwinists and so-called Liberals, with JC firmly on the ultra-Liberal side.)

You get on your bully pulpit where all the bullies meet (All the bullies meet)
Make yourself the biggest bully, the one the others have to beat (Others have to beat)

There was a guy named Machiavelli
Who believed that might makes right
(Believed that might makes right)
He advised to take or be taken in a never-ending fight (A never-ending fight)

There was another guy named Jesus
Who saw strength in the meek
(Strength in the meek)
Embraced those who opposed him
And always turned the other cheek
(Turned the other cheek)

So which philosophy will we follow, that of power and of fear (Power and of fear)
Or that of empathy and humility. the choice is very clear (Choice is very clear)

Let’s get off our bully pulpit and let others play that game (Others play that game)
For if we teach by bad example we only have ourselves to blame (Have ourselves to blame)
Have ourselves to blame
Have ourselves to blame

Bully Pulpit

(Started as a condemnation of the facile Bush, Jr. years, but now fits well in a different context. Sometimes it’s good to take a decade to make a record...)

He gets up every morning from that alarm clock’s warning
He makes sure that he’s always on time
He’s got a lot to hide
But he’s got a lot of pride
For pulling off the perfect crime

CHORUS:
He’s just a white-collar crime
He knows he won’t be doing time
Pinstripes can hide a filthy mind
He’s just a white collar, another white-collar crime

He’s not some stupid sucker, some loser motherfucker
His lawyer is his best friend
He learned what he was taught
There’s no crime if no one’s caught
And rules are only there to bend

CHORUS

He took his liberties when he was on the make
He knows he’s safe because we’re all on the take
The more that he succeeds the more he desires
For we respect ambitious actors and liars

CHORUS

Occupy Him! [Explicit]

(Yet another plea for people to wake up and take control of their destinies -- are you sick of them yet? It was supposed to sound like AC/DC, but got skewed along the way.)

Say hello to the Oh-Ohs
(All the mass marketed hype)
Time to break out the No-Doz
(Stay awake for all the tripe)
Devolution in full effect
(Keep it in stereotype)
What else could we expect?

CHORUS:
We’re being spoon-fed
Continually misled
And we enjoy it
The world’s a stage
Fake life’s the rage
And we employ it

It’s a brave new world of extremes
(Grab your joystick — choose your side)
A set of prefabricated dreams
(CorpoGovGod will decide)
Controlled convenience rules the day
(Sit back — enjoy the ride)
New Dark Ages sweep us away

We’re living in a self-inflicted haze
Let’s be bad rats and jump out of the maze!

CHORUS:
We’re being spoon-fed
Continually misled
Rise above it
The world’s a stage
Fake life’s the rage
Tell them to shove — it!

New World Disorder

We don’t know where we’re going, we hardly know where we’ve been, we’re rushing toward the ending, but we don’t know how to begin, the answers are before us, but they don’t get through the din, and we’re not very good at listening anyway

We don’t want to be preached to, so we turn away from meaning. and follow TV idols. and embrace the spin they’re screening, but when we look inside our own minds, we’re lost as to our leanings, we really want our buttons to be pushed

CHORUS:
We are stunned and confused
And we don’t know where to turn
So we make the same mistakes
And we’ve got no time to learn
We are looking above
And we’re looking below
But when push comes to shove
We much look inside to know

We’re looking at each other, and it’s like a foggy mirror, we’re getting bad reception, and it won’t get any clearer, we can’t get past the politics, we move fast but don’t get nearer, without a thought of everything we’ve left behind

CHORUS

Americonfusion

CHORUS: Get your own secret ambition
The person who you could have been
The person who you could have become
But for the petty minds of them

With your own secret ambition
Comes an iron clad excuse
For why you never made it
And for why it’s just no use

You’ve got a lot to live and you haven’t lived it yet
You’ve got a personal bar stool to help you forget
If only for some luck then you would have been set
If only your talent shone instead of regret

CHORUS

In another universe you will be the biggest thing
In another universe your phone will always ring
Your daydreams are so very vivid and detailed
Your daydreams are just like a ship that never sailed

Now it’s time to wake up
Now it’s time to wake up
Now it’s time to wake up
Now it’s time — WAKE UP!

Yeah yeah secret ambition
Yeah yeah secret ambition
Yeah yeah secret ambition
Yeah yeah secret ambition
Yeah yeah secret ambition
Yeah yeah secret ambition
Yeah yeah secret ambition
Secret ambition for you!

Secret Ambition

(Not my song, but a fave of mine from post-punk heroes Wire, and it somehow seems to fit in with my weird political tunes, except that it’s about insects.)

No blind spots in the leopard’s eyes
Can only help to jeopardize
The lives of lambs, the shepherd cries

An afterlife for a silverfish
Eternal dust less ticklish
Than the clean room, a houseguest’s wish

CHORUS:
He lies on his side, is he trying to hide?
In fact it’s the earth, which he’s known since birth
He lies on his side, is he trying to mine?
In fact it’s the earth, which he’s known since birth

Face worker, a serpentine miner
A roof falls, an underliner
Of leaf structure, the egg timer

CHORUS

CHORUS (X2.5)

Outdoor Miner

(A manifesto of sorts for my life and for the album, written long before I’d read very much about Buddhism. There is space to breathe and think in the emptiness.)

I live for empty spaces Between all the faces
Hiding from the races

I need my alone time To make up my own mind
Where it’s not confined

CHORUS:
I’m not afraid of empty space
Don’t have to fill it with empty phrases and bass

I’ve got a lot to say Do it another day
Sometimes I need to play

My life is halfway through So much more to do
But I need to keep it true

CHORUS

An empty space Will not erase
A real face A bit of grace

Empty Spaces

Fourth song on the RAKEHELL/Go Pills split EP available at https://rakehell1.bandcamp.com/album/post-punk-hippie-novelty-ep

So Little Time To Fly [written by R. California & J. Locke] [by RAKEHELL/Go Pills]

Third son on the split RAKEHELL/Go Pills EP available from https://rakehell1.bandcamp.com/album/post-punk-hippie-novelty-ep

Americonfusion [by Go Pills]

The second song on the split RAKEHELL/Go Pills EP available at https://rakehell1.bandcamp.com/album/post-punk-hippie-novelty-ep

The Hardest Walk [written by Jim & William Reid] [by Go Pills/RAKEHELL]

The first song on the split RAKEHELL/Go Pills EP available at https://rakehell1.bandcamp.com/album/post-punk-hippie-novelty-ep

S#!tfaced In Love [written by Skizz Cyzyk] [Explicit]

The third track on the RAKEHELL EP Les Petit Morts available at https://rakehell1.bandcamp.com/album/les-petit-morts

All I Want Is You [written by John Cale]

The second track on the RAKEHELL EP Les Petit Morts available at https://rakehell1.bandcamp.com/album/les-petit-morts

Paris 2019 [written by John Cale]

The first track on the RAKEHELL EP Les Petit Morts available at https://rakehell1.bandcamp.com/album/les-petit-morts

Fear [written by John Cale]

From a 7" included with the original pressing of the highly underrated Healing LP, sung in the style of Scott Walker for dramatic effect.

Time Heals [written by Todd Rundgren]

From Something/Anything, and not as much of a throwaway as you might first thing (and certainly not misogynistic).

S-L-U-T [written by Todd Rundgren]

From the 2nd Runt LP entitled The Ballad Of Todd Rundgren, and way more complicated than I was ready for!

Chain Letter [written by Todd Rundgren]

Remastered version of song #1 on RAKEHELL's Totally Todd EP, available for sale on digital download at https://rakehell1.bandcamp.com/album/totally-todd-2.

RAKEHELL is the most prolific of several extreme-solo post-punk bedroom-garage pop projects from Russ Forster,  with vinyl EPs and LP and digital downloads available at https://rakehell1.bandcamp.com/

RAKEHELL

Popular tracks