Chewing Gum

Jigsaw

Non-satisfaction

There's no denying it
When she said she's had enough
But she's stuck in the picture books looking for the right words to say

"We could pick up the petals and sew them back on", she said
"I know you better than anyone does"
But a made up mind is a close enemy to the hopeless romantic you said you wouldn't be

But it don't even make sense
Coz I've written it everywhere
Yet I still see you in my dreams
Is there something out there meant for me?

"We could pick up the petals and sew them back on", she said
"I know you better than anyone does"
But a made up mind is a close enemy to the hopeless romantic you said you wouldn't be

We can pick up the petals and sew them back on
You know there's no one better who does it like you
But your made up mind is a close frenemy to the hopeless romantic you said you wouldn't be

Eyes Of A Blue Dog

wait, in a minute
i'll be fine
not talking to you
wishing that i knew what you are thinking
keep your promises, keep it simple -- "i'll be there for you"
when nothing make sense, like everything does
sun piles the dust on my shoes
and i'm swimming in blues
and you couldn't help but be you

and the day never came for you to prove you right
for the millionth time, your excuses are invincible
keep your promises
if it don't mean a thing, just leave it behind and i won't mind
coz nothing makes sense and memories turn to dust
the world moves on, but the thought of you is stuck
and it's leaving me to rust

why can't i trust the way things go?
i'll disappear without letting you know

sepanx

i am the glass of spilled milk on the table, on the floor
i'm on the road to feeling nothing, feeling something
at least that's what they tell me to do
my stomach and its firework attitude
nothing is the same
they all turn their backs from what they want to say
when what they really want to say is,
"i am tired of this painful disguise. "
exposition: saying that i'm fine, 
but its alright coz we all die in time.

i am your favorite only when i matter, when it matters
but more important things accordingly sorted into a chore
but can't be anything more

baby! you are a nuisance
everything's reminiscent, explosive
baby! you are a new thing
but not my saviour from this routine

numb

chiseled meztiso
peppered paprika
dairy doesn't love me
sick of my ego
coz they always leave 
oh who's telling me to be?

baby's really got no time for me
and i've got no sleep
when the sun don't shine, it shines for you baby
and i've got no sleep

classic mojito in a fishbowl
he doesn't love me
distant and dreaming
words say nothing
i'm on the phone wishing that you would come back home
or even answer my call, if you were there at all?

baby's really got me and i've got no sleep
coz the sun don't shine, it shines for you baby

sleep

oh you were seventeen when you said you were soul-searching
you cried on sunny days wearing your blue jeans
wore the lies upon your head like a curse
you saw yourself in other dirtbags
you made into an excuse to be drying like laundry in the sun

the cold-wash cycle that you dreaded spun on low tumble
you were headed for the worst thing
you never expected to be this heart broken in the summer

and you're alone again
maybe this time it'll be different
baby sometimes i don't think about you like it's the end
maybe sometime i will see you again

oh she was seventeen when she said she was soul-searching
she cried on sunny days wearing her blue jeans
wore the lies upon her head like a curse
she saw herself in other dirtbags she made

seventeen

feeling lil lonely on the weekend
after seeing the embodiment of what was and will never be
at least there is reality
to crush me to pieces 
in jelly fish tanks
with a mind blank

i look forward to
long walks and small talk
like never before
but i could never afford you at this time
your soul drifts to other lands

feeling like a teletubby on october streets
i’m asking for candy from strangers
only i’m a baby put in a box
graced with windows so i can see
them fly higher than kites
my wings ripped before me
my voice strains, my Jesus wins the fight for me

i look forward to
blue skies and gray
my life in a haze
my eyes fix my gaze only on the One 
who can save me

feelin’ lil lonely on the weekend
after seeing you, baby
feelin’ lil lonely on the weekend
after seeing you, baby

lil lonely

??? an old song i decided to "look back" at and re-interpret

lyrics //

all this distance took me so long
so long to see lonely gazes that reflect in your eyes
your eyes only see what your heart wants to hear
you live in all good reason
in the light, in the dark, it's the same all season
there you go, there you go, put me up on the shelf when you feel like it, you said

all this distance took me so long to see that only sometimes we make it count
that's why the questions linger
now you know that the stars go their own way, no regards
alignment; they find their own place in the void
and there you go, there you go, put me up on the shelf when you feel like it! you said

all this distance we took so long

there you go (re-imagined)

an old track
-
i can't see what's next
i'm a pathetic eclectic
tell me what you're up to today

the sun is smiling through your face
and its hard to evade
are you gonna tell me today
"it's better if we go our own way"?

gloomy skies and hiding in cottony embrace
bottomless; the rain when it starts 
time, keep up with the pace
time, just make your mistakes
calendar routines make it less difficult to breathe when you're away

when you're away

:-(
-
busy people in their boring lives
leaving loops and ties
paying with sorry and goodbye
never meant anything to me
coz that’s the way it is
and no one's gonna say their piece
i got no peace of mind
this happiness is a lie

times are changing
and i don’t want to feel like myself
coz imma break my heart over and over again 
honestly
i wish you didn’t have to leave
how many times do we gotta say goodbye
why can’t we stay just like this?

we never have enough time to make sense of it all
you & i for a little while
talk to me but don’t get lost on the feeling baby
burned in the second degree
at the back of my brain you seem like you’d agree
but convenience
awfully loving, proximity

times are changing
and i don’t want to feel like myself
coz I’mma break my heart over and over again 
honestly
i wish you didn’t have to leave
how many times do we gotta say goodbye
why can’t we stay just like this?
2x

changing

if you’re gonna cocomplain 
or play an act of soliloquy
don’t obsess on your sadness
to prolong this madness
giving in to useless arguments
i've been misusing my analogies

i remember the night i cried
and dried my eyes out
wishing that i never left you for the 
bright yellow raincoat on humid day
calling a taxi and sending him off was easy
but there you lay

sobbing in the shower
sitting there for hours
crying over what is done
and what is next to come
you don’t know who you’re gonna be

BABY USED TO NEVER WANT TO LEAVE HOME
and NOW SHE DONT WANT TO BE ON HER OWN
PEOPLE GONNA LOVE YOU COMPLACENTLY
TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED
MISUNDERSTANDING YOUR MISERY
AND YOU STILL DONT WANNA ANSWER YOUR PHONE
I CANT EMBRACE YOU WITH MY WORDS
GET YOUR ATTENTION FROM THIS, GIRL

ITS NOT A BAND-AID THAT YOU NEED
YOU NEED THE CURE TO THIS INSANITY
YOU NEED SOMEBODY TO HOLD YA
AND PUT YOUR HEAD ON THEIR SHOULDER;

coco

so is it safe to say that i need you?
don’t wanna lose you in a blink of an eye
i’m tryna choose my words
don’t leave me behind
i wouldn’t blame you for losing your mind

everyday i got some things to do
eating convenience store food
too scared to be true to myself
we love what we’re used to
we’re young we’re used to it

everyday I’m praying that you would stay
but even if you go away
i don’t know what i’d do
you love and you lose

blink

she said to me she’d rather be tied down
than let uncertainty get the best
but he wants to play outside
darling won’t you come and rest with me?
but he wants to have some fun tonight
so hold my hand and don’t think a word
maybe we have a future or maybe we won’t last another world?
darling won’t you come and rest with me?

another

i buried worries down my throat
now life is perfect and i don't know whether the future is a black hole
i knew every path to take but you were the only one i didn't see
so love me with reservations to every restaurant
walk me down your street pretending we're the only ones

only ones

cover art by my talented little sister, daphne

~

money won't save you from feeling the void out
you could go far out as sedation and bacon will leave you as hungry and burned out
he said he wants to die now,
but fearing what lies out beyond death
and if heaven and hell isn't real, where's he to go now?

and if you're young, dumb and in love, where should i go?
cos honey, i know that they'll take you away
honey, i know what they'll say
this feeling's a day
and you just might change your mind tomorrow

i can't be myself around you, i'm happy and sad
can you tell? need a prescription as well
people ain't answers, they're just more questions
you're a cosmic intervention, while i'm a piece of junk
floaty as hell

and if you're young, dumb and in love, where should i go?
cos honey, i know that they'll take you away
honey, i know what they'll say
this feeling's a game
and you just might change your mind tomorrow

~ far out ~

~with @mellowfellowstudios ~

art by yours truly
photo by https://goldfishmedia.co

~

Say that you will stay, if you want to
If you need to go, you know it's alright with me
You know it's okay to dream

Tears are my fate 
if you knew my darling, would you leave me behind anyways?

Sunshine, baby can you tell me would it be okay to maybe dream? Even if it seems dim?
Be a little real to me
since there's no one else I see

Tears are my fate 
if you knew my darling, would you leave me behind anyways?
And there's no better way to find out but to spend all our days

Mellow Fellow & Ruru - It's Okay To Dream

~ : )

im skipping breakfast just to be in bed
the colors of the pavement in the city
used to feel good in my own skin
didn't need the affection
but you've shown me a mirror
and all my broken complexion

it's what i do best
i trip on my own two feet again
and you just end up laughing
and you just end up laughing

well i dreamt it in dreams
oh the gap in the chest punctured deep as the ocean
filled with excess and all the good things i had shipwrecked

it's what i do best
i trick on my feelings in the end
you don't care about it
you don't care about it

in my own skin

<3

When you don't want me
and you shut me out the door
Leave me wanting more then
I can't believe it
Nothing's gonna change the way that I feel
From the very first day 
Since the storm had come our way
They promised blue skies baby
They promised blue skies baby
When you don't want me
and you shut me out the door
Leave me wanting more then
I don't believe it
Nothing's gonna change the way that I feel
From the very first day 
Though the stars had gone away
They promised new skies baby
They promised new skies baby

If we met in another life I'd do it all again maybe make it this time
There's no loss in trying
You're the only one I've ever wanted

t-shirt tape (new)

leeeeeeeak (becAuse the MV is coming out in a month)

~

Don't wanna go out tonight, already know what's going down
Are you ready to feel all alone?
In the familar faces
In every passerby, I see you
I see you

In the middle of a sea of people, I'll be dancing to no rhythm at all
There's nobody here to listen to me
In the middle of a sea of people, I'll be dancing to no rhythm at all
There's nobody here to listen to me scream at the top of my lungs

Don't wanna stay home tonight, just really wanna disappear and 
I am ready to feel all alone
In unfamilar faces and every passerby, I wanna see you

In the middle of a sea of people, I'll be dancing to no rhythm at all
There's nobody here to listen to me
In the middle of a sea of people, I'll be dancing to no rhythm at all
There's nobody here to listen to me scream at the top of my lungs

Tonight!

Say it and don't mean it coz' nobody's listening
They say they've got their own thing goin'
Walking mirrors, you had to be one to hold me until I am undone

Whatever happened to always, always?
You're gonna be afraid
Baby steps, although we're not growing any younger yet
Sand dollars, I lost them on the way
My obsession with what fades takes a lifetime to replace
When I'd loved much in those days

Under weather, I caught you like a cold
Didn't really know who to blame
You and your comical, utter ways
I've never felt any more human
You're driving me insane
Convict me of my place
Lookin' right through my mistakes

Whatever happened to always, always?
You're gonna be afraid
Baby steps, although we're not growing any younger yet
Sand dollars, I lost them on the way
My obsession with what fades takes a lifetime to replace
When I'd loved much in those days

Sand Dollars

the odds might be against us, and nothing comes as easy as you say it will
but you already know that your existence is a thing i never thought i'd lack
(she already knows it) God knows there's a time and a place

whatever goes, it goes, and if you know it then you know it's meant to be
this wasn't accidentally, the sun is setting on the shore
you know it meant something to me

the odds might be against us, and nothing comes as easy as you say it will won't you say that it will?
but you already know that your existence is a thing i never thought i'd lack

The Odds

It's not the end of the world
the wheels have taken its turn to the brighter side
when you chimed in the 99 thoughts don't matter coz' it's what we got that's real

The rain it could be pourin' but I'm still with you
The sand can hide away in my shoes
We can sing whenever and fly away

It's not the end of the world
It's just the tables that have turned
eggs are sunny side when you chimed in
and said "the 99 don't even matter coz' it's what we got that's real"
(Oh it's what we got that's real)

They can say whatever they want it's their truth
Play, no promises
just don't leave me to it
No don't go away, don't fly away

Darling what do we got
Just a little bit of a lot
Just a matter of how you're gonna see it
We live in a town that knows nothing but pleasing
My pride gently deceiving
"You're going nowhere girl
You're going nowhere but here"
I'm pressed with the times
Need someone I can trust
Need a glass of half empty wine
I'm tired of waiting in line for this
In time, in time it'll happen

Darling what do we got
Just a little bit of a lot to do

We live in a town that knows nothing but meaning to be out of the city
"You're going nowhere girl
You're going nowhere but here
You're going nowhere"

I'm dressed up in light
Need someone I can trust
Need a glass of wine
In time, in time it'll happen

Nowhere Girl

My Old Friend

"you know I wouldn't miss a single little thing with you
the way you talk about the things and people that you don't like"

(something I wrote in 2018)

i'm not a genius (demo)

I forgot

Strange World

LoSer

WYWD

producer & maker of things

contact: info@kerfluffle.xyz

Ruru

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