Keep your memories close. Sometimes it's all we have. I grabbed my acoustic, plucked some strings and here we are.

I am not a singer but figured I could throw my vocals down.

I woke up too late

My panic attacks have been bad. Needed to vent.

why (prod. sketchmyname)

I made this song because I'm sad. I've been going through a lot. My panic attacks & anxiety distanced myself from the people I care about the most. It distanced me from my 6 year relationship. I had to distance myself from the people I felt the most safe around for recovery. I needed to vent to get things off of my mind. I hope whoever listens to this finds peace <3 

Thank you @MGNUS
for making such a lovely beat

-much love 

Ry
instagram: _rybee

lyrics
--------
[intro]
I know that being together for so long
creates so many memories
sometimes I just can’t stop thinking about everything
I just, I just hope you’re okay.

I wake up with these tears in my eyes
baby girl I’m tired of the fights
I just wanna hold you really tight
I can see the pain up in your eyes
these panics that I get ain’t right
but baby girl I promise that I’ll fight
I’m tired and I feel like giving up
But I know that there will be some better sights
But I’m worried about you
Thinking about you
wanna hold you in my arms 
I’m dreaming about you
cherry blossom lips and you smell like lust
dangerous with love never you just us
hanging glow stars on your ceiling up above
baby see the stars cause it’s bright just like your love
you ask me all these questions am I running out of time?
I’m fighting for my life but I promise I’ll be fine
I’m looking for some answers, tryin to find myself


waking up with panics 
and I’m running to find help
taking all this therapy
and dodging all the pills
fighting for my memories
I’m fighting for what’s real

crying I don’t want to
trying when I need to 
drowning in my own thoughts
crying when I need you

I can’t help the fact that I’m a hopeless romantic
6 years on fantastic
and I don’t wanna give up
met you back in high school
think about the future being high school sweethearts <3
baby please don’t give up
It’s been a rough patch
I’ll work with my progression
promise I can speed up
but I’m fucking selfish
you’re asking me when I’ll get better
the truth is my anxiety it changes like the weather
I have my ups and downs
I wake up on some days where I’m normal 
to wishing I was never around


[outro]
It’s crazy how you’ll have some days where
For a couple of seconds
The air you breathe is absorbed
but then you’ll have some days 
where you’re counting the seconds

but time means nothing.

because you feel like giving up.

I made this song because I'm sad (prod. MΔGNUS)

I've been going through a lot with my panic attacks and just wanted to rap about how I felt. 

Thanks for listening. Love you guys <3

lyrics
--------

no one seems to understand

no one seems to understand
I'm loosing sense of sanity
I don't know where I stand
my mind is on an intercourse 
with thoughts I've never had
my heart's about to lift off 
and my bodies bout to crash, huh

you try to tell people around you
but they'll never understand 
all these feelings that you go through
man, i'm isolated in my thoughts
i'm fighting for my life
hiding things from families 
man, that shit ain't right

its cause they don't understand it man
depression & anxiety to them is nonexistent
and my brain is not a organ
and my feelings are just made up
back and fourth from therapy 
to ground my self and stay up like, fuck

think i do this for attention
man these seizures to a stroke
is how i feel like, hypertension
from the hospitals and bed rest 
just to relive all my tensions
and the doctors send me home
and say i'm fine forgot to mention, like

what the fuck do i do
to get you just o realize
the shit i'm going through
to get you just to realize
i'm barely hanging on 

i'm holding on and losing grip
and i don't know how long i have left...

I don't wanna take the pills
people telling me the dangers 
giving me the chills
i got homies on the sidelines 
popping this shit for the thrill

I shaking from anxiety i'm trying to sit still

i feel lost

i feel lost yeah

i cancel all my plans when i'm gone yeah
my friends get upset i feel wrong yeah
how long will it take till I move on will it take 
till I move on yeah

i mean no disrespect
we all get emotional
to keep ourselves in check
just focus whats in your control 
and try to live your best
while i'm sitting in my room 
and i'm just dying from this stress yeah...

dying from this stress yeah..

no one seems to understand (prod. sleepy fish)

Made this because my mind was feeling extremely heavy. Hope you guys enjoy <3
instagram - _rybee
thanks @cxldblxxd for making this beat.

Lyrics -

The suns about to set yeah
Loosing patience’s I’m erasing my existence
I just need a little time I’ll give you reason 
Now the days are gone i'm changing like seasons 

If i'm lost will your dreams come true
3am calls, with them texts come through
You’ll be up abroad with these endless views
While i'm in my room making all these tunes

Heartbeats clash when it rains no clue
Shadows in my room when I think bout you 
Counting all the days it was  just us two
when I'm Skating late nights with my busted shoes

Now I staring at the skies
With the star lit view
Staring at the planes in the skies you flew
Flying far away from my heart you knew
Wiping all these tears in my face i'm confused

while i try to stay calm but I feel so abused 
while you think of my issues I feel so accused
while I place all these band-aids inside cause I’m bruised
now i'm chasing these bombs to diffuse, while i'm dazed and I'm thinking  bout you


now i'm fucking lost and fighting all these demons up inside me 
thinking bout the things I could’ve done
fighting with my brain had me voided in my panics with the thoughts of suicide just to put you number one 
missing all the therapy, and waking up to the headaches  while i'm drifting off to limbo where my thoughts weigh a ton
now i'm taking all these fucking chances, feeling reckless and i'm crashing, and I’m digging up my grave just for fun

but baby now I’m done
 I don’t give a fuck If my brain feels like I doing things I should’ve done
Coping with depression this repression, this obsession, when im chillin with the devil click clock with my gun
Put it to my dome, say a little prayer with a slight smile, convincing myself its okay
But i'm in the way, drifting away, floating in space while I'm searching for reasons I’m trying to stay....

reason (prod. cxld blxxd)

I haven't been feeling well lately.

(prod. @beatsbykokoro)

derealization (prod. kokoro)

Mad this song at 2am. took 1 day.
who made the beat? @smokerosebeats

lyrics:

Baby you got me so fucked in my head 
Just please tell me you love me 
My hearts ripped to streads 
I'm coping with substance abuse in my bed
Lost all my friends and have demons instead x2


Letting ago of my life
Got these doctors up in my site
Running test up off me each night
Pull the plug, yeah bitch I just might

Got these 30 mins of sessions 
Keep clean tryna make all confessions 
Misplaced all my hope an intentions 
Need sleep Imma drown in depression


I don’t even know if its true
Cast away all the shit I go through 
Jumping out of my window for you 
Give me answers tell me the truth



Making second guesses 
Tryna learn my lesson 
Feeling hesitant
 and time is always pressen 
smokin all these weed
and now im smoking excess
im in comatose and lever learn my lesson 
therapy with pills and taking all the sessions 
disassociation  now you got me stressin
never feeling good and always second guessing
now nauseated fuck  ill stop pretending 


I don’t know if you can feel me
I don’t take pills but you pop 3
Caffeination don’t know me
In the clouds when I sight see
idk What I might be 
When the time ticks
Baby trust me 
and that high sticks
gotta rough past 
need some mind tricks 
and I wont last  
cause the time past 
its my last chance

Baby you got me so fucked in my head 
Just please tell me you love me 
My hearts ripped to streads 
I'm coping with substance abuse in my bed
Lost all my friends and have demons instead x2

Demons Instead (prod. smokerose)

I've been dealing with a lot of depression and self hatred. Took some time to write a song.

Prod: @user-597676997 (CapsCtrl)

Lyrics:

Lay me to rest
Baby my fortunes a pain I'm a mess
Back to the medical who would’ve guessed
Living a festival inside I dread
Babe I'm incredible
Lately depressed
Thoughts all forgettable
Inside progression
I live with obsessions
Of hating the person
I am its possession
I guess its all chemical
Call me a medic, I

I really think I need some help right now
Drain it from my veins, turn me inside out
Lately been the same when I loose all doubts
Break away the chains, at the cost I'll count
All the time I’ve wasted
Dealing with the drought inside my head I gotta face it
Ceiling to the floor without the meds I'm on the pavements
Sacrifice, my cognitive is stained I cant replace it

Satisfy my feelings to be sane I cant embrace it
Abandonment of people for the pain I gotta chase it
Loosing while I'm dealing claiming sedatives and payments
Ridden on my bed I’m overwhelmed I’m on the same shit
Neglection of the medicine I'm fighting through with patience
Sleeping with the enemy and hating all my placements
Never been a friend to me I'm changing never praising
Swallow me inside a wooden crate and now I'm faceless

Lay me to rest
Baby my fortunes a pain I'm a mess
Back to the medical who would’ve guessed
Living a festival inside I dread
Babe I'm incredible
Lately depressed
Thoughts all forgettable
Inside progression
I live with obsessions
Of hating the person
I am its possession
I guess its all chemical
Call me a medic, I

I really think I need some help right now
Drain it from my veins, turn me inside out
Lately been the same when I loose all doubts
Break away the chains, at the cost I'll count
All the time I’ve wasted
Dealing with the drought inside my head I gotta face it
Ceiling to the floor without the meds I'm on the pavements
Sacrifice, my cognitive is stained I cant replace it

Lay Me To Rest (prod. CapsCtrl)

Made this track in 2017 and 'm finally releasing it.

Met Alexa at a guitar center, recorded her freestyling over my guitar. I used her vocals from the video recorded and made Missing.

Lyrics:

(Alexa)

Darling where'd you go to ?
(go to x2)

Darling where'd you go to?
(go to x2)

Darling where'd you go to?
(go to x2)

Darling where'd you go to?
(go to x2)



Darling where'd you go to?
I miss you

I miss you
Please come home
You left me all alone
(left me all alone)

Darling where'd you go to?
Darling where'd you go to?

I miss you you're my one
And whole
You left me alone
I miss you come home

Darling where'd you go to?

(Ry Bee)

Yo, yeah

Lets just take this slow
Try to end this mess
Try to make things work, yeah

Try to hold my hand while I hold you down
Cause this love stuff hurts, huh?

And these endless nights and these endless fights
I'm just looking for a cure, yeah
Imma hold you down cause I know that pain
I'll be back when I could

Cause all of this time that I'm telling you shit
I promise to think of the times that we shared
Cause all of the pain and all of those feelings
Come back when I'm scared
And I wish you were here

All of this time that I'm telling you shit
I promise to think of the times that we shared
Cause all of the pain and all of those feelings
Come back when I'm scared
And I wish you were here

I runaway to tell myself that everything is good
I runaway away to tell myself I'm back and where I should
Holding on to life and loosing grip like If I could
And man I'm running from my panics
And these thoughts of who I was

I focus on my breathing cause it helps me stay sane
Man, I tried to search for help so I could take away the pain

But the truth is I'm lost and you're gone I'm insane
Yeah the truth is I'm lost and you're gone I'm insane

(insane x6)

(Alexa)

(Baby come home x2)

Don't go

Music video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9RXajlArnA
<3

Missing (feat. Alexa)

I treat my panic attacks & depression with music.

Ry Bee

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