Song I created to express the emotions I feel during this hard time in our lives in hope to help myself and other people deal with the loss. Lyrics by me. music is AI generated and applied prompts to create a melody that fits the lyrics. 

Nanay

How do you say goodbye
To someone who holds your hand through the darkest nights?
How do you say farewell to someone who lifts you up on your deepest lows?
How do you say goodbye to home?

Chorus:

Lost is a word I never really knew,
Till that day, that moment I lost you. 
This void, this emptiness you left,
How do you say goodbye to home? How do I say goodbye to you

You were the porch light waiting for me to take shelter
You were the warmth even when I'm alone
You were the sunlight that helps me grow stronger
You were mine and you were my home.

Chorus

Lost is a word I never really knew,
Till that day, that moment I lost you. 
This void is something that can not be filled,
How do I say goodbye to home? How do I say goodbye to you

Bridge
Oohhh I'll sleep again, one more night
Hoping to see you in the morning light 
But I know it's just wishful thinking,
Coz home is gone but this pain still calling.

Chorus

Lost is a word I never really knew,
Till that day, that moment I lost you. 
This void is something that cannot be filled,
How do I say goodbye to home? How do I say goodbye to you

You were my home, so tell me, how do you say goodbye to home?

You Were My Home

Alone in this room,
These walls feels like caving in.
My world is just crumbling
By myself with this pain

A pain that's indescribable 
I tried to put it into words
But instead tears just follow
I tried to scream, but it's just hollow

Chorus
If this will end then when is when
If hurt subsides just tell me then
I can't put into words this feeling of longing
Can you just visit me, when I start dreaming

This life will never be the same
Now that you're gone, all there is, is rain
I want to reach for you, please tell me you hear me
So I can feel you, one more time.

Chorus
If this will end, then when is when
If hurt subsides, just tell me then
I can't put into words this feeling of longing
Can you just comfort me, when I start dreaming

Bridge
This world has been so dark since you left
Every meaning and purpose just vanished with you
But I'll walk in this life knowing,
That I deserved to be loved, by someone like you

Chorus
If this will end, then when is when
If hurt subsides, just tell me then
I can't put into words this feeling of longing
Maybe you'll set me free, when I start dreaming


When I Start Dreaming

Watching the sea hug the shore,
People walking by
Birds soaring through the sky
It was beautiful, but you're not here.

Seeing the flowers paint the mountains,
Yellow, white, blue and red
Sun shining and giving warmth
Sure was lovely, but you're not here.

Chorus
Ooohhh, I know you're around me
I can feel your love surround me
But if I can bargain for one day more
Just be with me, please, just one more.

Sweet music fills the air
Smiling, laughing everywhere
I should be happy, but all I feel is pain today
I know that it was lovely, but you're not here.

Chorus
Ooohhh, I know you're around me
I can feel your love surround me
But if I can bargain for one day more
Just be with me, please, just one more.

Bridge
I know that time can only tell
When this loneliness will end
But I just miss you everyday
I just miss you what else can I say?

Chorus
Ooohhh, I know you're around me
I can feel your love surround me
But if I can bargain for one day more
Just be with me, please, just one more.

Please just one more

Just One More

Everywhere I look, I get reminded of you. 
Every corner, every scent. Everything I do.
They say take my time, but all it does is bring me back

To a time when I can hear you laughing,
Telling me stories about your life
Everything that you felt was missing,
I always wished I could complete them for you

Chorus
Oh, grief is just love
That couldn't find a soul
So forgive me if all my love
Will just show up in my songs
As I navigate this emptiness you left,
Please lead me, 'coz my mind just can't find rest

Something always, reminds me of you,
Even the places, you've never even gone to.
I always picture what could be
If you're still with me, and what we could've seen.

Bridge
They say memories can heal a broken heart
But these memories are just tearing me apart
But I'll take them as this is the only way
I could find solace, as we walk down through the rain

Chorus
Oh, grief is just love
That couldn't find a soul
So forgive me if all my love
Will just show up in my songs
As I navigate this emptiness you left,
Please lead me, 'coz my mind just can't find rest

Please lead me as I try to do my best

Love That Couldn't Find a Soul

Have I told you, you looked lovely in that blue dress?
With the scarf gently wrapped around  your neck, 
Your hair, not a strand out of place,
Your nails as white as that of heaven's gate

Chorus 
You've always been so beautiful
Inside and out, skin to soul
When the clouds start to drift apart and sky turns blue
With that sunshine, I know it's your beauty shining through

The yellow and white flowers embroidered around, 
the lace of ferns and leaves intertwined 
The white satin sheet that you lay upon
It was perfect, you looked perfect Mom

Chorus 
You've always been so beautiful
Inside and out, skin to soul
When the clouds start to drift apart and sky turns blue
With that sunshine, I know it's your beauty shining through

Bridge
As we sent you to your resting place
All your beauty, I see in other people's face
Your smile will always be in our minds,
Your love, our hearts will carry for all time 

Chorus 
You've always been so beautiful
Inside and out, skin to soul
When the clouds start to drift apart and sky turns blue
With that sunshine, I know it's your beauty shining through

Perfect

Hey, I know it's been a while
You haven't heard from me
No calls, no knocks, no breath uttered for your name,
But there's something I want to ask of you, if I can

Chorus
There's someone, I used to know
Someone who watched me as I grow,
She's knocking at your door right now
Will you take her in, for me somehow?

I have been astray, too proud, too sure
Thought that everything I can endure
But I'm begging you this time,
if there's even a place there that's mine
She can have it father
Because

Chorus
There's someone, I used to know
Someone who watched me as I grow,
She's knocking at your door right now
Will you take her in, for me somehow?

Bridge
I'm bad at prayers father, as you can tell
But I know you'll accept her, that's all I ask
Coz as a person she's better than I'll ever be
So shower her with your light, let her bask

Chorus
There's someone, I used to know
Someone who watched me as I grow,
She's knocking at your door right now
Will you take her in father, for me somehow?


Father

It's beautiful here son
Castle of gold for one
All the people you love everywhere
I miss you son though I can't be there

Chorus 
These are words I wish I would hear
Just to know, I don't have to fear
You're in good hands now, without pain without sorrow
When my time finally comes, in a year, a decade, maybe tomorrow.

Gardens filled with flowers lined the streets
Beautiful weather, no cold, no heat
I'll wait for you son, just take care of yourself
You know I love you from the day you're born till the day I left.

Chorus 
These are words I wish I would hear
Just to know, I don't have to fear
You're in good hands now, without pain without sorrow
When my time finally comes, in a year, a decade, maybe tomorrow.

Bridge
My son, here in heaven, I'll be waiting
Take your time, your life, you start living
Find love, find peace and when it's close to the end
For that time, I'll be there, so I can hold you once again

Chorus 
These are words I wish I would hear
Just to know, I don't have to fear
You're in good hands now, without pain without sorrow
When my time finally comes, in a year, a decade, maybe tomorrow

Maybe Tomorrow

Ooohh, ooohhh (2x)
City lights reflect the starts tonight
People, cars bustling about
The rain pouring, no end in sight
Right now it's just heavy, just dark

Chorus 
How long can I keep going
The shadow just got bigger, more imposing
Tonight is one of those nights
I just want to give up this fight

I've always hated the cold
Tonight, it's just gotten more bold
Tightening it's grip around my neck
How can I run, how can I escape 

Chorus 
How long can I keep going
The night just got darker, more daunting
Tonight is one of those nights
I just want to give up this fight

Bridge
One more night I'll survive
One more day I'll try to thrive
But help me as I can't seem to go on
Carry my burden, I want to move on 

Chorus 
How long can I keep going
The wind just got stronger, more uncaring
Tonight is one of those nights
I just want to give up this fight

Please help me, get through this night

Through This Night

There are days when it feels like I got it
Nothing loss, nothing broken, not a single minute
I drown my emotions with whatever lie throws at me
But when im finally by myself
The truth just runs free

Chorus
Oh I miss you, your body, your soul 
Our laughter, oh how I miss it all.
I wonder if you ever get lonely too?
If that's a way to miss someone, then I hope, i really hope that you do.

I go along my life as if nothing happened
Even though deep inside, this emptiness widens
I'll smile once more hoping to fool everyone
But when I face the mirror, 
All I fool is myself, I convince no one

Chorus
Coz I  still miss you, your body, your soul 
Our laughter, oh how I miss it all.
I wonder if you ever get lonely too?
If that's a way to miss someone, then I hope, i really hope that you do.

Bridge
Cheers to the days I live in make belief
Here's to the lies just to find relief
But one day I hope that I'm able to say
The storm has passed and I'll be okay


Chorus
Oh I miss you, your body, your soul (ooh)
Our laughter, oh how I miss it all. (Ooh)
I wonder if you ever get lonely too? (Oohh)
If that's a way to miss someone, then I really hope, i really hope that you do. 

I really hope you do

I Hope You Do

Thousand miles from home,
Unfamiliar places, people unknown. 
Trying to run from this feeling,
But all it does is pacify the bleeding.
As I try to bridge the gap between now and then
In a heartbeat, I'd go back to see you again

Chorus
Why does every moment that I runaway
Takes me back to a time when I could've chosen to stay
As that time that I chose to spend alone
I could've spent with you, but now you're gone

I keep running, hoping I could fly,
But this car knows how many times I I've cried.
The long roads that leads to nowhere,
I'd rather have you, anytime, Anywhere

Chorus
Why does every moment that I runaway
Takes me back to a time when I could've chosen to stay
As that time that I chose to spend alone
I could've spent with you, but now you're gone

Bridge 
I turn the key once again
Press the pedal and drive but then

Chorus
Every moment that I runaway (don't runaway)
Takes me back to a time when I could've chosen to stay (please stay)
As that time that I chose to spend alone (don't be alone)
I could've spent with you, but now you're gone (I'm not gone)


Drive

It's been a while since I last held your hand
I'm left here standing trying to understand,
How much longer I can withstand,
Since you left, this world had been a waste land,

But...

Chorus
Did I do anything wrong?
Did you finally see who I was? why are you taking so long?
Do I not deserve your love all along?
When will I see you in my dreams so I can go on?

I don't know which idea hurts me more
Is it the dreaming then waking up to find youre gone,
Or not seeing you, even in sleep at all,
Because I want to remember you, I want to recall

Chorus
Did I do anything wrong?
Did you finally see who I was? Why are you taking so long?
Do I not deserve your love all along?
When will I see you in my dreams so I can go on?

Bridge
The waiting just got longer
The longing got stronger, I know it's hasnt been long but it feels like forever.

Chorus
Did I do anything wrong?
Did you finally see who I was? Why are you taking so long?
Do I not deserve your love all along?
When will I see you in my dreams so I can go on?

Dreams

Oohhh, I hear her voice singing with the birds
I see her smile shining with the sun
Her love, ever forgiving and loyal
Her warm hug I feel as I run.

Chorus
She might have gone but she's still with us
Every strand of her being intertwined with ours
When she left we thought it was the end,
But the truth is her memories help us mend


Her name was Alice but to us she was mom
No one prepared us for the day she had gone
Our lives may have changed the day she took her last breath
But she lingers with us, Till the hour of our death


Chorus
She might have gone but she's still with us
Every strand of her being intertwined with ours
When she left we thought it was the end,
But the truth is her memories help us mend

Bridge
We'll never forget, all the love you have shown,
In your own little way, you made it well known
We hope to see you again in another lifetime,
Will you wait for us, please wait for us mom.

Chorus
She might have gone but she's still with us (ooohhh)
Every strand of her being intertwined with ours (ooohh)
When she left we thought it was the end, (oohhh)
But the truth is her memories help us mend (oooh)
Her name was Alice but to us she was mom.

Alice

Today is something that we all have to learn to live with
A day for you but we know what the truth is.
I hide behind the smile trying to spread the cheer 
But please don't ask me how i am because the truth you might just hear

Chorus
Happy mothers day, that's what I tell everyone
A day to celebrate someone who gifted us life.
But today is one of the firsts of many more to come
Where we have to do without you,
Is today really a happy one?

Everyone else get to hug their mom
After everyone has gone, after everything's done
But tell me where do I run to?
Because all I want at the end of this day is to celebrate you. 

Chorus
Happy mothers day, that's what I tell everyone
A day to celebrate someone who gifted us life.
But today is one of the firsts of many more to come
Where we have to do without you,
Is today really a happy one?

Bridge 
I never knew how painful a day like this could be.
I try to cover it with a smile, but instead I just felt more lonely.
But we try to go by, I promise we do
Happy mothers day mom, this day is for you.

Chorus
Happy mothers day, that's what I tell everyone
A day to celebrate someone who gifted us life.
Today she's not here but her spirit is with us
So this day is made just for her,
So with a heavy heart I say,
happy mothers day.


Nanay

Juno