Ancient as the universe is the fire of true love that burns to the exclusion of everything else. Wild, free it decimates, intoxicates, it cannot be controlled and any attempt can only serves to eventually suffocate life itself. 

Darkness needs light, good needs bad, we crystalize and no longer see flaws as we submit and loose all sense and reason. Even wildfires at times have their silver linings, countless ecosystems benefit from periodic fires because they clear out dead stagnant material, some plant and animal populations require the benefits fire brings to survive and reproduce.

Even in the bleakest of moments there is still hope, whoever you think you are, whoever you believe they are. Penultimately the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself so let your internal fire rage, douse your heart in gasoline and see what that brings.  
Dedicated to my true love


Twin Flame

California knows how to... set itself on fire. 

ELEMENTAL

Latest collaborative track was a deeply profound experience. In a past life i was a drummer in a bunch of noisy alternative bands, nothing ever compared to playing with my friend Elliot Jay. One of the most talented musicians i ever met, a child prodigy in violin, a guitarist, pianist, songwriter... he excelled at bass. Being a rhythm section the sense of connectivity is vital, a unit, driving and dancing in time and space. 
Over the 17+ years i knew his demons inside out, i watched him grow and fight to be himself, to be here despite re living his past trauma in varying forms. During the pandemic, thrown into isolation we kept in touch online. Sadly El's mobility had drastically reduced and his body was struggling under the weight of prescribed medications for his mental health of which the dosage had been upped to alarming levels. I mentioned my 2020 love affair with beat making to El, it was something i myself had sought solace in whilst having a post mural tour breakdown. I had acquired a NI Maschine, perfect for tinkering around on... and so persuaded Elliot to get one. He sent me a bunch of tunes which sadly we never got the chance to collaborate on, untill now. In May 2022, I landed in LA for my birthday, on arrival i got the news that Elliot had left this Realm for good, his own choice. I was never going to be ready for this despite understanding his reasons. Jet lagged, shocked and guilty i scrolled back to find the original riffs in our messages. From hearing the first note it brought him back to me, memories of jamming, laughing and goofing around, getting giddy about writing good shit, thinking we might take over the world... young and free. I cried and laughed a lot putting this together, its the soundtrack now to a mural we (nomad clan) painted for a brilliant UK based suicide charity called every life matters. Thank you for leaving me with this gift, i hope i did us justice! Thank you for the life lessons, for showing me true courage, a spiritual guide reminding me that i too can find that courage to accept my trans identity, you were a pioneer that came out at a time of little to no acceptance. I miss you and i will carry your memory always, living to the fullest the way you might have liked to.
Your Buddy Jay x

Unexpected Sunset

New moon @sadmagnets
 Identity asks who am I? What do I know to be true? Do i trust myself and my experience, do i exist in a way thats aligned?.
And soooo lists upon lists, fighting for sobriety to remember and evidence my reality. Mantras of 'i am who i know myself to be, i am love, I am open, honest and i am enough'. I majorly dropped off the sober wagon on Friday after a month of being good to myself and riding a wave of personal growth, pattern breaks, productivity, healthy fun and stability.  Emotionally challenging circumstances lead me to valuable lesson's all over again.
Luckily, the universe has a vastness to it which can top you up if you invite it in like a tonic to trauma. Spirituality is a vessel to rely on and lean into in times of need. Nature as a consistent force, energy as a compass, oh the gratitude for this magic..and to remember it above all other vices.
Protecting inner peace, your own consistent aligned actions are secure truths that no words can contend with. Confusion can keep people second guessing themselves, false narratives feed the false self and push people further away from awareness, avoidance is routed in deception and fear. I made this tune as a balm for anyone who needs to calm anxiety and torturous overthinking, please let go for a moment and remind yourselves that your worth more than you realise and that beauty is all around you, it is you and you are wonderful. Knowing yourself is safety. LINK IN BIO
#beyourself #itsokaynottobeokay #anxiousattachmentstyle #attachmentstyles #healing #lifelessons #anxiousattachment #addiction #greenflags #spiritualjourney #mixedsignals #alignment #selfcare #soundscapes #meetyourself #musicproduction #musicandmentalhealth #attachmentstyles #consistencymatters #peacefulmindpeacefullife #selfwork

SAD MAGNETS

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