Julian's Album

pure sunlight

songs for him

you and i

a bit of love (just a little)

pre-order "I know there's something left for you"
https://dynastic.xyz
available everywhere feb 4

Everything is as I see
I can feel the earth shift around me as I speak
(Hey, hey)
You took the world away from me
Will you have my back when it crumbles on my feet

And I don't wanna be the guy
Who has to start it
But I'm not gonna let myself
Become a target
I know there's magic in the air
And I know you can feel it there
But I don't wanna disappear

If I go
Will you hold the fort down?
Will we last if I'm not around?
if I go
Will you hold your breath?
I'll do the same
'til I see you next

If I go
Will you hold the fort down?
'cause I need some time to figure
All my feelings out
If I go
Will you hold your breath?
I'll do the same
'til I see you next

This is who I wanna be
I don't wanna go
But I got to leave
It's just the way it has to be
If I leave you hurt
Out the blame on me

And I don't wanna be the guy
Who has to end it
And I swear I will do my best
To try and mend it
I know there's magic in the air
And I know you can feel it there
But I don't wanna disappear

(Can you show me how to grieve?
Why am I always so naive?
Should I bother to believe?
Or is it better if I leave?)

(Can you show me how to grieve?
I can't breathe
Why am I always so naive?
It's just me
Should I bother to believe?
I can't see
Or is it better if I leave?)

(One, two, three, four)

Can you show me where you go when the lights out
Can you bring me to the place that you hide now
Can you show me how to breathe
'Cause I'm not as strong as I used to be and

You know I can hold the fort down
But do you hold me close
When you're running around
Don't try to lie or deny it
I know where you've been tonight
So I'm asking you now

If I go
Will you hold the fort down?
Will we last if I'm not around?
if I go
Will you hold your breath?
I'll do the same
'til I see you next

If I go
Will you hold the fort down?
'cause I need some time to figure
All my feelings out
If I go
Will you hold your breath?
I'll do the same
'til I see you next

Everything ain't as it seems
Tried to change the world
But the world changed me
You left me bleeding on the floor
Lying on the glass
I can't do this anymore

But there's a couple things
About me that you'd better know
That if I find a guy like you
I'm never letting go
I'll never leave
Never cause you any harm
And the only way I'll go
Is if I die inside your arms

If I go
Will you hold the fort down?
Will we last If I'm not around?
If I go
Will you hold your breath?
I'll do the same
'til I see you next

If I go
Will you hold the fort down?
'cause I need some time to figure
All my feelings out
If I go
Will you hold your breath?
I'll do the same
'til I see you next

I know there's something left for you

caldecott (feat. Polygon Cove)

i'll wait

can't fall asleep
i think i just need to eat
i shouldn't go to bed at 3
i should just brush my teeth
i'm sick of dreams
where i feel seventeen
i can't do anything
like just falling asleep

i know it's bad for me
tomorrow i promise i'll
take better care of myself
but its not easy
its not easy

can't fall asleep
i think i just need to eat
i shouldn't go to bed at 3
i should just brush my teeth
i'm sick of dreams
where i feel seventeen
i can't do anything
like fucking fall asleep

i know it's bad for me
tomorrow i promise i'll
take better care of myself
but its not easy

when nobody's watching i
just stay in my head all night

it's 3am
i gotta wake up again
i gotta fake it pretend
like i'm not still asleep
i'm not falling apart
no jumprope in my heart
my body's gonna give out
on me

i know it's bad for me
this make believe
what's truth for you
are lies for me
so i just want autonomy
and i have to be patient

she'd wake up at
a reasonable hour
maybe take a shower
if i could allow her
she'd make herself a meal
and it tastes fine
spent a minute online
make it to work at 9

but she's probably busy
staring at the ceiling
probably isn't feeling
busy doing nothing
she could be productive
maybe even happy
spending time with her friends
smiling and laughing

it's easier said than done
it's easier said than done

how do i block it out in a way
that's more selfish than this?
i don't think such a method exists

i turned to recluse
and self-diffusion
to solve for answers
with synthetic solutions
and swim down
to lows beneath
all the places
that the light couldn't reach

if you
break through
somehow you reach me
get rid of these leeches
eating love for food
leaving selfish isolationist attitude

i want you around me
so badly, so badly
you're chosen family
you kill the bad things
i don't know what to say

all good people are asleep (feat. saoirse dream)

Does my outfit
Make you want to 
Ask me a question
Give me attention
Uh

Only you could cut the tension
Only you could cut the tension

Where's the dog at?
Where's the dog at?
(Screaming)
Take it back down
To the most basic level
Now look at you
You earned a gold medal

You earned a new shiny gold one
Hand it over
And no one gets hurt
I wanna steal your accomplishments
You answer to my accomplices

I got some big guns
I got some big guns
In the right hands
I got some big guns
I got some big guns
In my red hands

Does my face
Match my mood?
Does my mood
Match my tone?
Does my tone
Match my face?
No

I look so incredibly
Out of place

Does my outfit
Answer your question?
What did you want to know
In the first place?

Gold medal
You earned a new shiny gold one
Hand it over
And no one gets hurt
I wanna steal your accomplishments
You answer to my accomplices

I got some big guns
I got some big guns
In the wrong hands
I got some big guns
I got some big guns
In my red hands

(Yeah you earned a gold medal)

Yeah
You earned a new shiny gold one
Hand it over
And no one gets hurt
I wanna steal your accomplishments
You answer to my accomplices

I don't wanna do anything
I just wanna reap
I just wanna see
And I just wanna sleep
I just want results
I don't wanna work

You answer to my accomplices

gold medal

I'm running up the valley just for you
If you knew all the things
That I would do for you
Why can't you just believe in me?

Ugh

Oh, I had your jewelry
Among your old things
If you knew all the ways
You stained my memory
You'd fall to your knees

Why can't you save me
With your own hands?
And why can't you be the sun
And the ocean?
After all this time
I'm still singing that line
I wrote at your parents' place
I wish I never sang it to your face

Day in, day out
Day in, day out
Oh, all you ever care about
Is how you should be so paramount
And you never said it out loud
You never made a sound
'Til you let your true colors out
You didn't have to show me now

I'm paranoid in California now
If I see green or blue I recall
Nights that you kept me awake
Just to beat me down
And wear me out
Why can't I be done with you?

Fuck

Oh, I've unlearned your ceiling
And tried to move on
But the sound of your screaming
Is stuck in my lungs
For however long I keep letting it

Why can't you save me
With your own hands?
And why can't you be the sun
And the ocean?
What's your goal here?
What's your endgame?
What's your point here?
Is it bad faith?

What is it then?
Do you just want to tear me down?

Day in, day out
Day in, day out
Oh, all you ever care about
Is how you should be so paramount
And you never said it out loud
You never made a sound
'Til you let your true colors out
You didn't have to show me now

Oh, wouldn't I like to know?
But the questions are dull
When the progress is nullified
Oh, guess I'm good after all
Didn't think about 
Anything not worthwhile today

Oh, oh, wouldn't I like to know?
But my headspace is full
Of memories of shoes inside
Oh, I fell in love after all
I didn't think it would be
So worthwhile today

(The spine of the salad is great! It's tasty, it's healthy, and most of all...)

new rainbow

https://soundcloud.com/webcage/undermyskin

spongeweb cagepants - undermysponge

a song i wrote out of frustration about someone i cared about. mar 2021

hospital bed

A song by @tomppabeats
All rights go to @tomppabeats 

DOWNLOAD: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bzj-t4FhPKTHaE9JSWRYdXZhajA/view?usp=sharing

this was from his youtube (but he took all his songs there down)

Tomppabeats - Emotional

be gay, do crime.

singular boy in sojuuboys

i'll wait

saint eusebio

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