BACKGROUND
Anamarija Wagner was interviewed in Timberlea, NS, coming to this project as a person living with end-stage cancer. She spent her life as a translator, speaking a multitude of languages. Having had a near-death experience at a certain point in her life, we spent a great deal of time talking about the afterlife. She described her experiences, and as a listener, they sounded nothing less than magical. Even though Anamarija expressed a deep trust in the afterlife, she was very honest with us about not being quite ready to die. One of the softer songs on this album, it is an exploration of what comes next, and the great mystery of which we are all a part. Anamarija died in March of this year.

Anamarija Wagner | November 21st, 1959 - March 11th, 2023

-Sarah

********

LYRICS
Saw the Other Side from the Other Side
Greeted by her dog on a bridge up high,
Watching wisps of coloured light
Prayers rising out of the dark night

Can't go far enough to know what it's about
Planted two oaks outside her house

Tucking sage in pillowcases
Border crossing misinformation
Sunlight through trees plays behind her eyes
She could see the moon from the other side

Bridges she built with words alone,
Phrases that saved transitions to new homes
Surrender to the cosmic flow

What's meant for you now will reach you somehow it will find you

Seeing grassy fields in glassy eyes
You made it to the Other Side
I'll be with you when the time is right

CREDITS
Song written by Sarah McInnis
Vocals - Sarah McInnis, Anamarija Wagner
Ukulele - Sarah McInnis
Trumpet - Paul St-Amand
Bass - Nicholas D'Amato

Produced by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Recorded by Darrel Cameron
Mixed by Lisa Conway & Andrew Collins
Mastering by John McLaggan at Parachute Mastering
Artwork by Lynsey Hamilton

Threads

The Other Side

BACKGROUND
After interviewing Dwight Kirkham about his parents Bernard Ray and Ellen Winnifred Kirkham, I knew I wanted to write a song that they themselves would have loved to listen to. Dwight's parents had been devoted to the church and indeed spent their lives ministering to several different communities, ultimately residing in PEI. They died in a single vehicle car accident in 2005. Given how Dwight spoke about the passion both of his parents had for their faith and in communicating that to others, I wanted this song to feel like a celebration. It beckons us to ask ourselves...how does our own light show up in the world, and how do we share it with others?

Bernard Ray Kirkham | January 29th, 1929 – April 11th, 2005
Ellen Winnifred Kirkham | January 14th, 1929 – April 11th, 2005 

********

LYRICS
Lay your worries down for the path you seek
will bring you to the flocks that need you, a shepherd to his sheep
The Good Word that serves, through you it would be speak
Lay your worries down for the path you seek

We've all got a light to give
Have you figured out what yours is?

Listen to the call that whispers to your soul,
the quieter you get, the louder it will grow
Typewriter, a pen in hand, the paper was aglow
so listen to the call that whispers to your soul

We've all got a light to give
Have you figured out what yours is?

Looking in the rear view, see her waving goodbye
Moments of worth, heaven on earth, taste of raspberry pie
Together they came, together they went to the by and by
Messengers of the God they loved, now angels in the sky

It was they practiced what they were teaching
He said, “The word is so good I can hardly wait for preaching,”
In every congregation, the people they were reaching
It was the way they practiced what they were teaching

We've all got a light to give
Have you figured out what yours is?

CREDITS
Song written by Sarah McInnis
Vocals - Sarah McInnis, Dwight Kirkham
Piano - Sarah McInnis
Gang Vocals - Darrel Cameron, Aly Kelly, Pat LePoidevin, Lynsey Hamilton
Tenor Saxophone - James Shaw
Trumpet - Paul St-Amand
Drums - Tyler McDonald
Bass - Nicholas D'Amato

Produced by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Recorded by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Mixed by Lisa Conway & Andrew Collins
Mastering by John McLaggan at Parachute Mastering
Artwork by Lynsey Hamilton

Light To Give

BACKGROUND
This song brought us to Riverview, NB for the interview. Your Shoes was written for Troy Muggah, the husband of Mendee Hunt and father of two young boys. Troy was described as a having a boisterous laugh and being larger than life. Mendee told us that he was a practical joker, loved Halloween, and had a expansive collection of basketball shoes that his sons have since inherited. Troy died unexpectedly of a heart event in 2019. He was a proud member of the black community and spent his days as a social worker supporting young black men. I wanted this song to have special meaning for his family, especially his sons as they grow up, and so I wanted to invite someone from the black community to sing his song - that is when I invited Mark Riley to come and be a part of the album. His song is a evolution of a relationship from friendship into love into his role as a father. Given that he and his family would often have dance parties, I wanted this song to feel like something you could move to.

Troy Muggah | August 10th, 1971 - July 7th, 2019

********

LYRICS
Looking for nothing and then you were my best friend
We both had a feeling that we found the realest thing
It was in the way you laughed, let things roll off your back
And I tried not to react, but I knew I found my everything

Now we're dancing 'round the house in the evening
With two boys that looks like you
Turn the music up loud, you'd be so proud
Cause now they're stepping into your shoes

Played just like a little kid, dressing up on Halloween
Zombies, fog machines, put your heart in everything you did
Red roses for love, dimes in a cup, tender and tough
Saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff."

Now we're living for the love you showed us how to share
With every kind of person, no matter where they're from, no matter where

Put some music on
Ask if I could guess the song

Looking for nothing, then you were my best friend
And we both had a feeling, that we found our everything

CREDITS
Song written by Sarah McInnis
Vocals - Mark Riley, Mendee Hunt
Acoustic Guitar - Sarah McInnis
Electric Guitar - Nicholas Maclean
Drums - Tyler McDonald
Bass - Nicholas D'Amato

Produced by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Recorded by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Mixed by Lisa Conway & Andrew Collins
Mastering by John McLaggan at Parachute Mastering
Artwork by Lynsey Hamilton

Your Shoes ft. Mark Riley

BACKGROUND
Pearl & Joy brought us all the way to St. John's, Newfoundland to interview sisters Cassandra Gaard and Shanda Parsons. In 2019 their mother died of terminal cancer and less than 24 hours later, their maternal grandmother died unexpectedly. In such a short period of time, this family was forced to deal with the loss of two matriarchs, women who had "done the best with what they had," and loved their children and grandchildren fiercely. This song is dedicated to both women, with pieces of each of their personalities shining through in different ways. Both daughters spoke about the moments of sheer magic and mystery leading up to and following these two deaths, like feeling the energy and presence of their loved ones around when they most needed it.

Pearl Gosse  | December 12th, 1926 – June 23rd, 2019
Myrtle Joy Gosse | April 16th, 1967 – June 22nd, 2019

********
LYRICS
Climb on the bus let's go for a ride
Everything's better when you're by my side
Sit in the window, watch the world go by
Get tickets for the show to see Charlie Pride

People tell me I'm a lot like her
A love of yellow roses and blue jay birds
Roast with gravy, toast and tea
Homemade bread with Eversweet

Hike through the woods to take in the view
It's hard to believe the things she knew
A Pearl that brough Joy to the world
A mother and her daughter

Did the best with what they had
Give you the clothes right off her back
The little ones that came to belong
Gotta kiss the ground they walk on

Crooked Phil's dime, a four leaf clover
Rat-a-tat-tat on my shoulder
Reminding us that you're near
Still we wish you were with us here

Not sure about the gates or God above
But there's gotta be something to this thing called love
A Pearl that brough Joy to the world
Followed in the footsteps of her little girl

The sound of loose change, tongue between my teeth
A weather man crush in the snow and sleet
A Pearl that brough Joy to the world
A mother and her daughter

CREDITS

Song written by Sarah McInnis
Vocals - Sarah McInnis, Darrel Cameron, Cassandra Gaard, Shanda Parsons
Acoustic Guitar - Sarah McInnis
Fiddle - Amy Lounder
Banjo - Kim Barlow
Bass - Nicholas D'Amato

Produced by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Recorded by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Mixed by Lisa Conway & Andrew Collins
Mastering by John McLaggan at Parachute Mastering
Artwork by Lynsey Hamilton

Pearl & Joy

BACKGROUND
We travelled to Tignish, Prince Edward Island to interview Benny Kinch, 92-years-old at the time, and also my great uncle. By product of his age, he is considered to be in the final stages of his life. He had so many stories -  stories that came from a different time, a different way of living, where small town rivalries and church were the cornerstone of community. He grew up with a love of hockey and was could definitely be considered a trouble-maker. He and his buddies found various ways to pass the time, like following the town bootlegger to see where he'd hidden a stash of moonshine, and then helping themselves to it. He left the small community of Tignish in 1948 to make his way in Toronto. Listening to him describe the contrast was truly incredible, and I think he himself often wondered how he survived those city days. A man of deep faith, Benny described a "draw" that one feels throughout life, an unseen force that guides us to where we need to be. This is No Matter the Path. 

********

LYRICS
For a teenage altar boy church was an amusement park
Where psalms were songs of blessed time to have a lark
Sneaking sips of wine amidst breaking of bread
Wax balls from burning candles to throw at people's heads

Wartime saw the men away, no one to keep the peace
The nuns had one hell of a time with small town rivalries
Bombardiers target practice had boys plan for these encounters
Climb up on rooves, drop blocks of snow and sod at out-of-towners

With the island dry they'd stalk the bootlegger to his spot
watched where he'd hide the moonshine in old bottles of pop
One drunken Halloween his folks nearly had him caught
He went bobbing for apples to sober up

Glad he grew up when he did, things are different now
The spirit of a kid in his sparkling eyes and crinkled brow

1948 Toronto-bound a place for youth to thrive
Didn't know a thing about big cities, it's a wonder he survived
From horse and wagon transportation to the TTC
Earned one dollar an hour, everything had a fee

Married an islander from Glace Bay
Met her on the dance floor, whisked each other away
One good suit, dreams aside, he was proudest as a dad
Gave up on things he wanted so they could have

For him there was no place like being on the ice
What he learned in hockey taught him most about life
Lay it all out in the game chasing buddy down the rink
All forgiven when the whistle blew, go buy him a drink

It's the magnetic draw carving our track
When you need it most it will pull you back
When you need a lift remember life's a gift to unwrap
Every being worthy of love no matter their path

CREDITS

Song written by Sarah McInnis
Vocals - Sarah McInnis, Benny Kinch
Acoustic Guitar - Sarah McInnis
Fiddle - Amy Lounder
Banjo - Kim Barlow
Drums - Tyler McDonald
Bass - Nicholas D'Amato

Produced by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Recorded by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Mixed by Lisa Conway & Andrew Collins
Mastering by John McLaggan at Parachute Mastering
Artwork by Lynsey Hamilton

No Matter The Path

BACKGROUND
Kyle's Song came to be after interviewing The MacKay family in Lower Sackville, NS about their son, Kyle, who had died by suicide in 2018. Kyle was an incredibly sensitive young man who lived and breathed basketball. His love of rap music inspired me to reach out to Aquakultre, a Halifax-based rap artist, who wrote a beautiful verse in this song. I wanted to create a song that was about remembering Kyle as the person he was. As suicide is something that is still very stigmatized in our culture, I wanted this song to acknowledge the struggles that Kyle experienced, while not making the song about how he died. The line "I know that you know that we know, you were bigger than a moment" aims to do just that. With this particular type of death, the how is something we become fixated on, but folks who die by suicide are so much more than how their lives ended. So instead, I wanted to capture the essence of who Kyle was, how he was perceived by others, and the moments of his life that spoke to his depth, sensitivity, and passion.

Kyle MacKay | May 7th, 2001 – June 29th, 2018

********

LYRICS
Come look at the stars with me
We’ll dream about the light we cannot see
Remember what it means 
to wonder about possibility

I know you know we know
You were bigger than a moment
The high and low, the ebb and flow
Even when you didn’t show it

You loved the strategy
Team huddle down on one knee
Learning what you could from DVDs
All about the game since before age three

Like a cloud passing Bras d'Or lake 
The sun shine, like your smile, it took the pain away  
Brighten up like the night sky, when the stars align
Or, watching a shower of falling lights and Meteors 
You are accepted by everybody a natural 
At leading groups of people who normally wouldn't cross a path 
I look up to that, I was hoping that we could write a track
cause I know how much you love the rap 
It's easy to see you, we remember how easy it was for you when you finally went to dribble 
So passionate with the people 
How you've grown, to someone We're proud to know, your wings spread just like an eagle 
I know the feeling B, in the end we praying that one day these words reach spiritually
inspiration, courageous enough to take a leap 
Or take a three, you'll always be apart of the team

I know you know we know
You were bigger than a moment
The high and low, the ebb and flow
Even when you didn’t show it

CREDITS
Song written by Sarah McInnis & Aquakultre (Lance Sampson)
Vocals - Sarah McInnis, Aquakultre, Shannon MacKay, Kathleen MacKay, Dan Mackay
Organ - Josh Huffman
Drums - Tyler McDonald
Bass - Nicholas D'Amato

Produced by Josh Huffman
Recorded by Josh Huffman, Sarah McInnis, Lance Sampson
Mixed by Lisa Conway & Andrew Collins
Mastering by John McLaggan at Parachute Mastering
Artwork by Lynsey Hamilton

Kyle's Song ft. Aquakultre

BACKGROUND
Though we interviewed Franciska Kouwenhoven in Kentville, NS, she spent much of her life in Toronto, Ontario as an art teacher. When we met with her she was living with terminal cancer. She described her experiences with her illness, not as a “battle” as we so often hear, but as a journey. She had the most honest and grounded way of speaking about her own death. Referring to a Buddhist quote, she talked about humans as waves on the ocean, and that death is the moment of crashing onto the shore and getting reabsorbed back into the ocean. She also loved the phrase “Roots and Wings”, feeling that she had been able to explore the world while always feeling a sense of home amongst family and friends. A few days after interviewing her, Franciska told me that she had decided that she wanted her song to carry the theme of water. Her song came to me quite quickly, and only a week after I delivered it to her to listen, Franciska died. It was later shared at her celebration of life. This is a tender and quiet song, for Ciska.

Franciska Kouwenhoven | March 19th, 1966 - July 31st, 2023

-Sarah

********
LYRICS

Bring me to the water, let my body feel the draw
Of ancient tides, eternal collide, wild and raw 
All of her expressions, like a silent undertow 
Will bring you where you need and teach you how to let go of control 

Roots grow when given all they need to hold the earth 
Listen close to wings that brought me back to the middle where the truth is all laid down 
And the water is sacred now 

A river doesn't struggle, it takes the path of least resistance 
Not a fight to survive, it thrives in quiet persistence 
Bending where it needs to, in perpetual motion 
A journey every river takes to make it down to the ocean 

Roots grow when given all they need to hold the earth 
Listen close to wings that brought me back to the middle where the truth is all laid down 
And the water is sacred now 

Roots show in the stories of the ones who came before 
Listen close to the music and the noise, the sorrows and the joys, it's all sound 
And the water is sacred now 

The waves that crash like fire and ash, a spark and then it's gone 
Building over time in waters wide, played out like a song 
As the crest reaches it's peak, the curl in light refracts 
Like a life complete, no soul can cheat, the ocean calls the water back

CREDITS
Song written by Sarah McInnis
Vocals - Sarah McInnis, Franciska Kouwenhoven 
Harp - Mairi Chaimbeul
Cello - Catherine Little

Produced by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Recorded by Darrel Cameron 
Mixed by Lisa Conway & Andrew Collins
Mastering by John  McLaggan at Parachute Mastering
Artwork by Lynsey Hamilton

To The Water

BACKGROUND
Only Now features Halifax resident, Shiella Lopes. At the time that I interviewed Shi, she was living with end-stage cancer. She was incredibly open and honest with us about her life, her spiritual beliefs, and how she has stayed grounded through a life-changing illness. Throughout our interview, she repeatedly came back to the concept of living in the now, that ‘now’ is all we have and that by learning to be present we can lead a fulfilling life. Shi was drawn to ambient, meditation-style music and heart-beat drumming, and so that is captured in the song I created for her. I am happy to report that Shi has since received life-saving surgery and continues to reside in the Halifax area.  

- Sarah

********
LYRICS
He was two floors below, she was two floors above
The kind of first meet you dream of
Christmas day twelve times a year, a sister's way to stay near
Just one of the many looking out

Let her show you how to be just as you are
Perfect and complete, every broken heart
Spirit embodied from the start

Only now Be here only now Only now

Strong women before and after they came
through each lifetime to the physical plane
the magic extends beyond her from daughter to daughter
“Two dishes is all you need my friend,”
He said, “It's my time, time has no end.”
Surrounded by infinite she knew back then

Let her show you how to be just as you are
Perfect and complete, with every scar
Spirit embodied from the start

Only now Be here only now Only now

Love is all we take when we go

Only now Be here only now Only now

Not afraid to meet the light
when it's time to go home she'll take flight
Life is for the living, carry on

CREDITS
Song written by Sarah McInnis
Vocals - Sarah McInnis, Valmy Assam, Shiella Lopes  
Harp - Mairi Chaimbeul
Cello - Catherine Little
Drums - Tyler McDonald

Produced by Darrel Cameron
Recorded by Darrel Cameron & Sarah McInnis
Mixed by Lisa Conway & Andrew Collins
Mastering by John  McLaggan at Parachute Mastering
Artwork by Lynsey Hamilton

Only Now

Songwriter, Sarah McInnis, is a storyteller, writing meaningful, personal, and relatable lyrics that audiences can connect to. In 2016, James McKenty produced her debut EP, ‘Farmer, Coal Miner’. With its exploration of family, self, and loss, it illustrates Sarah’s songwriting skills as she weaves seven thought-provoking tracks. She has shared the stage with Canadian musicians Mathias Kom, Craig Cardiff, and Terra Spencer, and has worked on music projects in Ontario and Nova Scotia. Working with local musician, Kim Barlow, Sarah brings live music and music-based community workshops to rural Nova Scotia.

Sarah McInnis

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